"So are you all set and ready to go home?" Annabelle asked me.
Where was Max?
I plastered on a fake smile, pretending to be happy and at peace.
Where was Max?
"Yeah. Have been for seven years." I said.
Where was Max?
The thought was circling in my head.
"I'm sorry you can't go back to your old room. It seems kind of stupid now that Mom changed it into a study." Said Annabelle, frowning in disappointment.
I couldn't be in that house. The old room would have been difficult to reconcile with who I am now. My room was for a teenager not the adult I now was.
Annabelle wheeled me out of the hospital. A part of me was surprised at how quickly I was discharged. Wasn't I supposed to write a test or be submitted through some security checkpoint before I was allowed to re-enter society? Nope. Just a signature and an info pack with all my doctor's information and next appointments.
Despite the injuries I had, my healing was at the point where I was on the mend. My psychiatrist insisted that I needed to be back home to recover. Prolonged stays in the hospital would only trigger memories of captivity and compound the feelings of being a prisoner. Inwardly I was grateful. I would have run out of that place if I didn't feel that they would bring me back and lock me up in the asylum ward. I didn't feel mentally stable enough to leave.
I deciede to tie my mental unease with my failure to see Max.
We got to the car. It was a physically representation of a mom van, down to the dent in the bumper. It looked like a bomb went off. A bomb that left a wake of smashed up crayons, chips, mud and dismantled toys.
"I'm sorry about the mess. I wish I could have a reason to explain it but I don't. All I can say is that I have three kids who have the ability to destroy anything." Said Annabelle noticing my surprise face at the interior of her car.
"Wow, you really do have kids." I said, amazed.
"Yep. I do clean it, I swear. Two days later it looks like this again. I honestly don't know how they do it." She said trying to understand it herself.
I was nervous to see them. Would they like me?
It took us forty minutes to get to Anna's drive. The journey was strange. It was the first car ride I was in where I was alert. The road rushed by and the trees blurred green. I thought I would like it but the motion made me car sick. I closed my eyes trying to still the nausea.
Pulling up into the driveway I was stunned.
"Annabelle! It's beautiful!" I said, utterly awestruck. The warm stones that outlined the brickwork took my breath away. Large windows looked out, showing the warm life within the home. It was just that. A home, a retreat, a place of refuge and peace.
"Thank you." Said Annabelle, beaming in pride.
"When did you buy it?" I asked her.
"Built it. Took us four years to plan and save, but we finally did. Bogart was in charge from the beginning to the end. Was never more proud to have him as my husband. Even the treehouse in the backyard looks like something out of a dream." She said smiling, a look of love and affection crossing her face for her husband.
"Dad would have loved him very much." I said to her.
"I know. I think I would have had a harder time dealing with his death if I didn't know that Bogart would be there. I know I am strong and independent. I can live without Bogart. I just don't want to. Bogart lets me be strong but he doesn't force me to be. At the end of the day, I lay my head on his shoulders. I depend on him." She said.
"Well, I am glad. I always knew he was strong enough for you." I said.
"Really? Cause sometimes I feel like people don't get it. I feel like they see him as this giant quiet person that doesn't talk much and it drives me crazy. I want them to see him the way I do. The way he really is." She said, looking at me, her face frowning.
"Well, the ones that know him, see him for who he is. He is like an oak. Strong, solid and someone you can run to when you need shelter and protection." I said.
Annabelle smiled at me in gratitude.
"Yeah he is. " She replied back.
We walked into the house. Each room took my breath away. It was so warm and inviting. All I wanted to do was sink into one comfy sofa after another. Almost every corner had an overstuff chair with bookshelves or side table astern with novels and stories.
The walls were covered in photographs. Pictures of Bree smirking as she covered Anna in mud or Bobby grimacing at a plateful of broccoli. My favorite was a picture of Bobby holding Bree and Anna in each arm. It was obvious that the twins had just been born. Bobby was sitting on his mom's hospital bed, Annabelle peaking over his shoulder, the girls secure in his little arms. It was the look of sheer protection and hateful glare that he had towards an approaching nurse that was comical.
"Here is your room. Bathroom to the left and more blankets in the wardrobe. I'm going to let you settle in. Feel free to nap or explore. The kids should be home in about three hours. If you don't want to be disturbed then close the door. They know that as the universal sign that mommy is napping or getting dress." Said Annabelle.
"Okay. Thank you Annabelle. This is beautiful." I said looking into the room.
"Trust me. It so much more prettier with you in the middle of it." She said, her eyes filling with tears.
"Uh, I need to go, um, go make dinner." She said, blinking away her tears.
"Sure." I replied back, understanding that she really wanted to leave to process her emotions. Even as a child, Annabelle would leave the room if she needed to cry. Over the years I realized that it was just her strong nature.
My sister was always a pillar of strength. Even to herself.
I looked around the room. It was mine. All mine. I opened up every single cupboard and drawer. Each one seemed to hold a new treasure. Books, notepads even throw pillows. I was amazed to find that the closet were stock full with clothes.
Cotton shirts, simple tees, dresses and jeans. Multiple jeans. Ever since I was old enough to pick my own clothes I was always drawn to jeans. As a teenager I had the largest collection amongst my friends. Annabelle had bought me pairs in every color imaginable. I felt like I was having Christmas morning a hundred times over.
It was stupid but it made me feel like someone. Even if it was just clothes and stuff.
I took a bath. The water was pleasant and warm. Bubbles was popping around me. It was nothing like the tub in the lab. That was cold. Sometimes buzzing with electricity.
Even the smell of the detergent in the fluffy towels brought me immense joy. Clean. Not surgically clean. House clean. Normal clean. Smells of Apple shampoo, coconut body wash and lavender soap. Nice, beautiful smells. The small things make a difference. The nice scent removed another layer of the victim identity.
I opened my closet. Staring as if I was watching a TV show. I struggle over my choice of what to wear. It was glorious. Such a superficial decision. My first real decision for my own benefit. All I needed to do was pick. Nothing else. No fighting, no worrying and no stress. Just picking out what I wanted. I settled, on a pair of grey jeans and a long sleeve white t-shirt. Comfy and homey.
I walked into the kitchen where Annabelle was popping a pan of lasagna into the oven.
"You look pretty!" She said, looking at me.
"Thanks. Seriously, thanks. All those clothes. I feel like a movie star." I said blushing in gratitude to her.
"Please don't mention it. At least this way you won't be stealing things our of my closet." She said smiling at me in a joke. I used to do that when I was younger.
I said by the table. Annabelle poured me a cup of coffee. It was strong. I slipped slowly wanting to ease my stomach into the experience.
For the next hour she began to update me of everyone's lives. I was so happy to hear from her and not find out in some large welcome back party. It felt like I was able to ease into all the new information. Like I was being prepared for the huge mental overload that was inevitably coming.
Still, something bothered me.
"Anna, we've been talking for an hour and your never mentioned anything about Max. Why?" I asked her.
She froze. Taking a breath she continued.
" I'm leaving him to tell you about his life." She replied back, looking down. Her lips tightened in anger.
"I don't understand. Why is it that everyone suddenly walks on eggshells at his name? Why did Alpha Roger grimace when he said Max would come visit me today at the hospital? Most of all, why didn't Max come? It has been days and he hasn't come by once. I overhead the nurses saying that he never called to check on me. Did he call you? Did he call Mom? Why didn't he pick me up or meet us here? I know it has nothing to do with settling in because he is my soul mate! We are engaged! Doesn't he want to see me?" I asked her, all of my questions and fears spilling out.
I couldn't help it. For days I had held in my thoughts afraid that the doctors wouldn't think I was psychologically ready to go home. Now that I was out the hospital, I couldn't keep the floodgate of questions in. It was taking all of my willpower not to get into a car and drive to see him.
"What is it? What is everyone trying to hide from me?" I asked my eyes filling with tears.
"I can't. It's not my place Bri, you shouldn't be hearing this from me." She replied back, a look of pure sorrow in her eyes.
"Please! Anna, please! I can't wait. I need to know what is going on." I said to her. Something I said triggered her.
"You are right. Absolutely right. I can't allow you to wait for him to get the courage to tell you. Screw it. Lets go." She said rising to her feet and grabbing her car keys.
"Where are we going?" I asked taken aback by her saddened determination.
"To see Max." She said, a look of anger on her face.
It took us less than fifteen minutes with the way Annabelle drove. I was glad that I was wearing a seatbelt. Each horn that blared went unnoticed by her. I grabbed the dashboard and armrest for so tightly my hands went white. Anna's face was flushed red with anger.
We pulled up to a building. Smart, extremely modern and sophisticated. It was cold for my taste, but I could tell it was meant to give a certain impression. Expensive and powerful.
"Bri, before we go in there I need you to know that I am here with you. I'm not going to leave you. What you are going to hear is going to be hard. We will make it through." She said grabbing my head and forcing me to see the seriousness in her eyes.
"Anna, you are scaring me and I don't scare easy." I said to her. The uneasiness that was building in the last fifty-six hours became legitimate despair.
"I know honey and I am so sorry that I can't figure a way to make this better. Still, I need you to be prepared. Something bad is coming. Something I can't stop but I am here for you. Okay? You are not alone. I am your big sister and I know you will make it through this! Okay?" She said firmly and protectively.
I wondered if I wanted to go in there. Maybe it would be better to leave? If Anna was this serious, then I knew this would be awful. More awful than anything else I had dealt with. Not even when Dad died, did Anna speak this way.
"Anna?" I said, afraid to ask.
"You are going to be fine. Do you hear me? I'm going to help you get through this. I'm not going to let you go in there; I won't let you see him unless you understand that you are not alone. Okay? Tell me!" She said, her voice filled with strength and urgency.
"I'm going to be fine." I said my voice quivering in fear, my grip tightening on her arms. I didn't believe myself, but I believed in Anna.
"Again." She said.
"I'm going to be fine." I replied back, more afraid.
She searched my eyes one more time before she nodded. We got out of the car, my feet heavy. Anxiety made it feel like concrete was fusing me to the ground. I search the area, looking for a hidden danger.
I felt a sense of foreboding come over me. Something was dying in the air.
Annabelle however was the strong force of nature that she had been for all my life. She grabbed my hand, holding onto it fiercely as the protector that she was. If I weren't strong then I could just draw strength from her.
She pulled me into the building, blazing right past a startled receptionist. We marched, more her than me, to a door toward the back. Stunned faces looking at us. Someone pointed .
I looked behind me, trying to place where we were, as Annabelle opened a door pulling us into an office. I almost stumbled, discombobulated by the momentum and not paying attention to where we were going.
"What the hell Anna! I told you to stop harassing me. Bri?" Said a voice in rage followed by sudden shock.
Instantly my world came to a standstill.
The voice. A voice that I had longed to hear for years! It was deeper, smoother but still had the power to make me melt. Max's voice. It poured over me like maple syrup, clinging to every thought, emotion and fiber of my heart.
It ignited a life within me and made me feel like I had just come home. I turned, my eyes solely searching for his face.
"Max." I whispered in awe and utmost love.
He was the same. Amazing, handsome and strong. Even though time had passed, it had turned him into something that filled me with wonder. Enchanted by his eyes that was as warm as bronze, I stepped forward my feet moving out of their own accord. the magnetic connection pulled me willingly to him however I was held back, pulled by a tether.
I gazed at the force that was preventing me from going to him, only to see that Anna had not let go of my hand. If anything she pulled at it harder, her eyes gazing in ferociousness at my soul mate.
"Anna? What are you doing?" I asked her stunned.
She just stared at Max, her fangs extending slowly. Anna's brown eyes darkened to black. Danger was approaching. I turned back to Max, hoping maybe he would come to me and pull me out of my sister's reach. Only to see a look of guilt and horror on his face. I was confused. Why was horrified to see me? Then I saw something, something that hurt me more than any other pain I had felt in my life.
"Max? Why are you wearing that ring on your finger?" I asked him, my voice cold.
A chill gripped my soul. My heart began to break.
Something in me died.