Mark: I know I'm the last person you want to talk to right now.
Mark: It's completely understandable. I've done you wrong. I don't expect a response.
Mark: Because I wasn't good to you, and I honestly can't live with myself right now. It took me everything in my power to not throw myself in front of a moving bus this morning on my way home from Jack's.
Mark: I guess I just need to redeem myself. Not to you, entirely. I just need to prove to myself that I'm not completely worthless. Because that's how I feel.
Mark: I feel like I deserve absolutely nothing because you are everything to me and I sure as hell don't deserve you.
Mark: You're probably going to respond telling me to shut up because you think you didn't deserve me.
Mark: Or you just won't respond at all.
Mark: Either way, that's fine. But I'm right on this, because you're perfect.
Mark: And I'm not.
Mark: I'm the one who fucked up massively
Mark: Because I'm the one who let you down
Mark: I fell and I knew you wouldn't be there to pick me up.
Mark: I'm sorry.
Mark: I'm sorry that I let their words get to me. I'm sorry that that I let their jabs and prods leave mental scars.
Mark: And I'm especially sorry that I made those scars real.
Mark: And I promise.
Mark: You know what, no. I cross my fucking heart and hope to die that I will never do it again.
Mark: But I really fucking need you.
Mark: You're not the reason I'm happy. You make me happy, but you aren't the soul reason why I'm happy.
Mark: I'm happy because you've helped me get there. You've helped me reach out to others to experience joy.
Mark: And the only way I can thank you for that is by being in love with you and showing you that every moment I get.
Mark: Because I really am in love with you.
Mark: And I really don't know what I'd do without you.
Mark: So will you please, for the love of all that is holy, forgive me and let me love you?
You: Yes. Just don't do that again. You had me worried sick.
Mark: Thank you gorgeous.
******
Short lil text thingy. It's my way of saying sorry after the whole "Not uploading for a week" thing. This should be going up the 15th along with the Grim Reaper update.
From now on, all updates with be on days that end with 5. The 25th will be the next update, then the 5th, then the 15th and so on. This will make it so I have time for school, band, family, and you guys. Sorry again for being a neglectful author.
Also, go to Twitter, find @loudmouuth and follow him. He's a real sweetheart with an awful sense of humor.
Happy reading,
Allie B.
Real quick note from the almighty Andy: our friend Meghan has a story on Tap called "One-Sided" and it's kind of like this. If you want to go check it out, there's finally a goddamn search bar.
Ą̴̤͚̘̫̑ͅn̵̢̨͔̖͉̊̍̍́͛͊͜͝ẗ̸̡̪͔̮́̏͝ì̶̡͇̼͍̝͉̩͑̍͆͋͘̚ ̷̘̅̽͗͛̓̄t̴̤̭̝̭̗̰̲̲̕͘h̷̭͍̞͚̀̈̿̑į̶̞̱͙̀́̏n̷̰̙̲̬͈͂̄̈́̈́͛̌͗͝k̵̰̼̑͆́̓s̴̹͒̈́ ̷̱̘͋̉̈́̀̎Ǐ̸̧̯̺̬̈́͆̒̇͊͜͝'̵͎͉͇̼̺͍̖̭̎͗̽͐̈́̆͛̑v̷̧̡͙͈͔̯͉͖͊̀̀̓͊́̇ȩ̸̼͙̻͎̅̂ ̴̗̯̗͎̃ͅr̵̨̟͉͓̣̟̺͑̓̀͂̓́͜e̸̦͆̉̚͝ṗ̶̮̟͐̈̄̿͘͠͝l̸̨̪̹̼͗ͅá̵̼̲̦̄̎̽̑ċ̷̞̹̋̂̏̎ͅé̸̳̗̯̼̓̚ḓ̴͙̤͂̉̂̅̊̿̕͜͝ ̴̘͒͗͛͠h̴͕̻̬̲̝̝͑̆̿̽i̶̝̮̎̓͑͒̎̀͠m̶̢̢̱̞̲̳̋͜
̸̡̩̻̌̈̈͂͒́̌̓
̷̗͎̅͐Ī̴̤̖̬̜͌t̶̰́͋͂̔'̴̼̺͍̂͐̿̔͒ś̴̪͎̩͙̲͖͂̈́̄̆̉͠ ̶̛̺̭̎ṟ̸́̊̅̒à̷̬̮̪̍͆t̶̼̥̤͎̬̲̙̘̍͋̐̓̾͘h̵̘̭̙́ẽ̵̬̠͓͈̣͍͈ṛ̵̻̊̑̾̓̒̎̆̎ͅ ̴̯͖̓̈́̐̌͊̾͝͝f̶͙͈̪̠̍̿̀̓̅̓̆l̶͖̯͈̺͓͋̈̊͌́͌͠a̸̧̤̭͓̬̓̒̔ͅt̷̘̥̭̦̫̦͕̀̈́͋̇t̸̮͈̆̍ẹ̶͔͔̺̥͙̹̾̈́̈́̀͑̌̌̃ř̷̺̬̻̳̳̟̰̑̈́͐̾̒i̶̥͊̀̈̃̑ͅn̵̖͉̝̮͔̟͙͌̄͂̈́g̶̭̠̮̫̾͗