Chap.11
Last Time: "This has to be our secret" he said wiping some mud from my face, "I can't everyone knowing about this and the whole emotions thing, you know. It would mess up the whole brand." he said sarcasm laced his words.
Dear Journal,
"So are you gonna tell me what you and Sean were doing alone in the woods?" Chloe said from behind her mug. We all wanted to go to the fair before, another party so I needed to get ready. Everyone was already ready, except Sean and I. I scrubbed my face trying to speed up my getting ready process.
"I told you, we just went on a walk. Then it started raining and mud got on us." I said walking to my bedroom. rubbed my hair drying to dry it before grabbing the clothes Chloe left out for me on the bed. I buttoned up the tight cropped light green top and pulled on a pair of loose mom jeans.
"I'm sure those things happened" She said sitting criss cross on my bed. "But you and Sean seemed way to giddy when you came back, I know you're attracted to him. And, I mean we were all asleep, while you guys were all alone, maybe you got dirty in a different way" I scoffed picking up a pillow, throwing it at her.
"You know I have a thing with Kevin, and I'm loyal. Sean and I are just becoming closer friends" I replied as I slathered mascara on.
But you never denied he was attractive.
Stupid voice in my head.
"If you say so honey" she said walking out silently. I finished getting ready and head downstairs, Kevin leaned on the counter and I wrapped my arms around his waist. He turned around as he smiled and brought his lips down to mine.
"How are you baby" he said pulling away.
"Great" I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck. His eyes searched my face and frowned for a second. "What's wrong"
"This is gonna sound insecure and I'm not worried, but you and Sean don't have anything going on, right?" I looked down for a second. Sean and I were merely friends, nothing more. But, that didn't explain why I felt bad.
"No, of course not" I said kissing his forehead and he pulled me into a hug. I heard a cough from behind me and I craned my neck to see Sean standing there. He was smiling but it didn't quite reach his eyes, and I felt Kevins arms pull me closer.
"We have to get going now" he said as he looked at me with an unreadable expression, he glanced at Kevin,
"Thea" he said and I turned back to him. "I meant to tell you this earlier, but I have fly to New York. My grandma is really sick, I have to go help her" he said brushing back a curl. I could tell he was lying or least not tell me something, but I continued to play along.
"I'm so sorry babes. When are you gonna be back" I asked as I glanced to Sean who was watching us intently,
"I don't know not for a while. Maybe we should just go on a break for a while" he replied running his hand through his hair, I knew he was lying but I could sense anxiousness radiating off him. He hugged me pulling me into him desperately. Before I knew what was happening Kevin was walking through the door. I didn't know why but in that moment I knew that was the last time I would see of him.
I glanced over to Sean who just looked down before he walked to the kitchen. Something was happening under me and I didn't like it.
"We are going to have so much fun together best friend" he says slugging an arm on my shoulders. The sweet smell of sweets filled my nose.
"Hey she's mine" Chloe joked making Jax stick his tongue out.
"Thanks for the loyalty" Sean said dryly.
"Sean, don't be an ass because everyone doesn't ride your dick anymore" James joked and I bubbled.
"We're going on the Twister" Jax said as he eyed the one with tons of loops. Every inch was packed with families and friends laughing, chatting, eating. My nerves buzzed, thinking of the thrill of the rides.
"Um I'm going to stay out of this one" Chloe shook her head.
"Are you sure" I asked not wanting to leave her alone.
"Yeah, I hate roller coasters they make me feel sick" she said taking small steps backwards.
"C'mon trust me if anything happens to you can have 1000 dollars" I said as I grabbed her hand and dragged her on. Sean gave the usher the ticket as the rest of the boys climbed in. I glanced at Chloe who looked like she's going to puke.
"Chloe, it'll be fun trust me" Jax said putting his hand on small of her back.
"Yeah when pigs fly" she muttered but climbed next to me anyways.
The ride started, and I heard Chloe let out a small squeal. The ride began slowly as we go up the incline slower and slower. Then when we finally make it to the top we lurch forward fast and I heard Chloe yell,
"I'm going to kill you after this"
I laughed as I heard her scream but still have a smile on her face nevertheless. After we finished Chloe was the first one off and then we all filed out.
"See was that so bad" I said as I caught up to her
"No..... I guess I actually kind of enjoyed it somehow" she said as a smile graced her lips
"Sooo aren't pigs supposed to fly now" I said looking up and around at the sky. Then we both started to laugh hysterically. Jax returned holding up the picture of us on the ride. I was smiling but Chloe was gripping on the seat screaming my earlobes off.
After a couple hours more hours, my stomach ached from laughing and funnel cake. Somehow Jax convinced me to try deep fried Oreos, which he subsequently puked up a couple minutes later on a ride.
"So the only thing we haven't done yet is the Ferris Wheel" Jax said gingerly. He was way to peppy for someone who had just ruined a little girls dress.
"What! I am not going on that thing" Chloe said her face paling. Jax walked over to her bent over and whispered something in her ear making her laugh, while he pulled her somewhere. I looked around for James and Sean, pushing through the crowd. I found James leaning on a pole talking to a guy . He laughed and played with his hands nervously. I could tell he was nervous but the other guy seemed to be laughing at everything he said.
I didn't want to bother him while he was flirting so I turned around. I looked around a bit more, trying to find Sean. I saw noticed his mop of head above the crowd and I snuck through a couple people trying to get to him. At first I noticed his back was to me and I got closer I noticed the girl in front of him.
Then I realized what they were really doing, Sean's moth seemed to be swallowing hers. His hand dug through her hair on the back of her head. Their heads bobbed violently like they couldn't get enough of each other. My heart dropped into my stomach, I spun on my heel. My hands clenched at my sides.
I walked down an ally slamming my back into the side of a trailer. I let out a shaky breath, I didn't even know why I was mad. I told Chloe that Sean and I were just friends, nothing more. I had no right to be upset at this. I took a deep breath, trying to lower my heart rate before I walked back out. I immediately ran into Jax and Chloe, as they were laughing at some joke I never heard.
"Where is everyone" Chloe asked.
"Uhhh I don't know" I said shaking my head as I took a deep breath.
"So are we going to on this thing or what" Sean said and walked towards the ride with a spring in his step. I rolled my eyes at his happiness, wow that sounded pessimistic, but it was the truth.
"Let's go" Jax said as he held Chloe's hand and pulling her into the passing seat. It was clear those two had a thing I'm not sure though when I was going to bring it up.
All that was me and him.
"Looks like we're all that's left" He said as he pulled me in the seat with him before I could object. I turned and faced the fields away from him, all I wanted was some space from him and now we were stuck in this stupid thing.
Then I feel a poke at my side. I ignored it. Then another poke.
"Will you stop that" I snapped at him.
"Why are you mad I thought we were starting to get somewhere, get closer you know" he said. If I ignore it will it go away. He was silent again, so I guessed I was right. I kept replaying him with that girl and I felt my temper keep rising and rising.
"Everything seems like its three steps forward, two steps back with you" he said and I could hear him run his hand through is hair. "Please just tell me what's wrong" he said so quietly I almost couldn't hear him. I turned to him noticing his furrowed brows as he chewed the inside of his mouth. He looked at me expectantly and I sighed.
"I don't know. I guess you didn't do anything" I said m
"You're mad for a reason, just tell me"
"I saw you kissing that girl, I don't know. I'm just being stupid" I said and I turned around not wanting to face him. I didn't want to see his face. I was being dramatic and I knew it, "I'm sorry, it's not your fault"
He didn't say anything for a while, I didn't expect him to say anything. We just sat there in comfortable silence as the Ferris wheel kept going until there is a whine and then a sudden jolt. Great just my luck. When I was having the most embarrassing moment of my life is when the fucking Ferris wheel decides to break. Why is it that it seems like bad things always happen at the worst times.
I felt a warm body slide its weight towards me and I whipped around tensing. Sean was now right beside me I could feel the warmness of his body next to me. He looked at me in the eyes, but he didn't say anything we just sat there.
"Look Thea, you're my friend-" that stung "-if it makes you uncomfortable then I won't kiss girls in front of you" he said moving closer and I felt my skin ignite as he moved his arm behind my head.
"I honestly don't care what you do, I'm probably just emotion because Kevin broke up with me" I lied through my teeth. He moved my head so I was looking at him as he smiled.
"Thea, let's not lie to ourselves" he said I felt my heart drop. It would have been so easy to just moved forward and kiss him.
"I...uh I'm not lying" I struggled to say trying to concentrate on anything but his lips. I didn't know what was wrong with my brain, all I could concentrate on was the minty fruity smell of his breath. His eyes flickered down to my lips and mine to his.
"Thea" He breathed as he leaned closer and putting his hands in my hair.
"What are we doing here Thea" he blurted out as he moved away from me.
"What do you mean" I asked.
"Us" he motioned between the two of us "This" he motioned again, "What is it? We always flirt and tease and I don't know about you but I have a connection with you. But then you dated Kevin after one date, instead of me. But after the greenhouse I felt this connection to you that I've never felt in my life and, I know you felt it too. But then I come downstairs and you're kissing him again, so I do the same and you're mad at me" he rambled running hand through his hair and I let out a shaky breath. He moved away from me again and I immediately missed it.
"I honestly don't know what to say" I couldn't even look at him. I thought this is what he wanted, our own little game. But maybe for the first time in a while I misjudged him, his intentions. We just sat there in the silence for a while.
"Fuck it" I heard Sean mutter then he slid back over to me and pulled my face down to his. As soon as our lips touched the skin ignited. The unraveling in my stomach started again and I moved closer to him wanting the feeling more. His lips moved fast against mine as he ran his hands over my body. He left trails blazing on my skin with every touch.
He pulled away and he were both heavily panting, but I just wanted to kiss him again. I looked around and realized that we were almost already at the bottom of the ride. I silently thanked him for pulling away because I knew I would never hear the end of Chloe asking me questions. When we get to the bottom he helped me out of the seat we walked a little too far apart in silence back to the car.
"Are you ready to party best friend" Jax said as he saw me,
"Yep but I am not wearing this I have to go change really quick" I said as I ran to the bathroom. I thank god the bathroom was nice and I opened the bag Chloe packed for me. I struggled to put on the red lace bodysuit, as I shimmied into black skinny jeans. I buckled my belt tighter before stepping out of the stall.
As I walked out of the bathroom, the confidence I felt in the bathroom decreased as people looked at me. As soon as Chloe saw me she screamed,
"Every time I think I can't out do myself, but now look at you" she yelled and I giggled, "Stop getting hotter, I swear to god" she shook me making me laugh even more.
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As we walked in it felt like everyone was staring at us. It might have just been because of the outfit but it felt like we had everyone's attention. The music blared in the speakers tuning out every thought.
"Let's go" Jax said as he pulled my wrist and I pulled Chloe's wrist at the same time. He pulled us through a bunch of hallways and we got to the kitchen where there were kegs lining the wall. Jax filled three cups, handing Chloe and I one. I couldn't believe Jax was gonna drink more after how much he drank in the car.
"What is it" I asked looking at the deep purple juice in the cup,
"Beer" he yelled downing the entire thing.
"Let's dance" I said as we make our way back to the dance floor. I let the music take over my body. I didn't mind the men that come up to dance with me then they leave. I didn't know how long I was dancing for. But after some time my head was hurting I needed a breath of fresh air .
The hallways were hard to navigate and I ended up on the side of the house. The air felt crisper outside and I appreciated the cool temp. I heard the door open and close behind me and I turned around. Our school's rival football quarter back stood in front of me.
"Thea!" he wrapped his arms around my waist placing his hand over my ass.
"What do you want Justin" I groaned trying to peel myself out of his grasp.
"I haven't been able to get you out of my mind, that outfit..." he ran his eyes over my body and I shifted, "what do you say you go home with me tonight" he said biting his lip.
"I don't think that's a good idea" l said walking away from him but I felt his arm grab me by my waist and pull me into his body.
"Get off me" I said trying to push him off of me.
"Shut the fuck up" he said as he started to kiss my neck but I was pushing me off. It felt like no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get his body off of me. His hands were pulling at the straps of my shirt as his mouth leeched onto my neck.
"You know you want me babe, stop it" he whispered into my neck.
"No, I don't get the fuck off me" I yelled trying to push him off me. He finally got one of my straps off my shoulder, making my panic double. I finally pushed off me so he was a little farther back, as he came back my fight or flight kicked, all I could think about was getting out of this situation.
I kicked him in the groin as hard as possible making him hunch over. As he was hunched over used all my force punching him in the back of the head.
"You bitch" he said crouching over and as he was about to recover I kicked him in the head. He was laying face down in concrete and I brought my heel down and slammed it into the concrete. Blood started to pool on the concrete and without second thought I brought it up one more time, before slamming it into his head, feeling the crunch of his skull under my foot.
I took a deep breath, calming myself down.
I stood there frozen to the ground as I watched the scene in front of me. Our rival teams star quarterback bleeding out on the ground. Any drunken teenager could just casually walk out and catch me red handed..... literally.
"Holy shit" I assessed my situation, analyzing the best option. I dragged the garbage can over to the body, I struggled to lift his body in the can. After he was fully in there I pulled him to the front of the house and proceeded to walk down the street to the rocks over the ocean. I pulled his body out pushing him over the rocks. I watched him lifelessly tumble over the rocks until he fell into the water. The waves crashed his body over the rocks a bit before swallowing him into the water.
The walk back was much faster considering I didn't have to carry a body. I washed the can out the only nose coming from the music blaring at the house. I slipped back in pushing past people to get to the bathroom. I locked the door behind me and leaned over the sink looking at myself in the mirror. A single tear fell down my face and I quickly wiped it. I just washed my face and hands scrubbing, and scrubbing. I looked at myself in the mirror practicing my smile before heading out again.
"Where were you" she slurred as she saw me.
"Just needed fresh air" I said taking her cup and downing it.
"Everything okay now"
"Yep"
"Good cause I think you need more shots" she said as she handed me another shot.
"Lets" I said taking more. I danced with Chloe more slowly forgetting about everything I did earlier.
I lurched back to the kitchen as I giggled at a joke I told myself as I turned the corner I ran into another familiar chest.
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Yay I finally was able to update. I realize that how Justin died is kind of gruesome but I don't tolerate people that try to sexually assault people. Remember to comment and vote!
QOTC: Have you ever been to the Carnival?
AOTC: I absolutely love the carnival. I like going with my friends and once my crush asked me out there so I just have good memories there.