I'm afraid
Of admitting defeat.
Of swallowing my pride, my posts,
My words.
Of going back to normalcy.
And the uphill climb
For affirmation and self-worth.
I'm scared
To be seen as a failure.
To not be taken seriously,
Because I didn't make it;
Because I couldn't
Take it anymore.
Im terrified of bringing home
Disappointment
Problems
Me.
There's no point in the "I could've...
I should've..., I would've...";
No drive in the now.
And no vision, ambition
For what lies ahead.
Inside this husk of a man
Exhausted emptiness echoes.
Shallow surrender screams.