Magnus puts his last dress shirt in one of his 3 suitcases and zips it up slowly. There's a sense of finality to it as it breaks the hushed silence in the room. I glance at the clock once more, noting we only have 45 minutes to get him on the plane. I walk over to his other bags and pick them up, keys in my hand.
"Come on, you can't be late." My voice is tired. We didn't sleep at all last night, awake in each other's arms making promises neither of us is sure we'll keep.
"I'll come home and we'll be fine, I promise." he brushes his hand across my jaw.
"I'll take good care of the business, you won't have to worry." I pass my lips over his bare shoulder.
"I won't fall for anyone else." I can feel his tears against my chest.
"I'll miss you every day." whispered into his hair.
"You better." his laugh catches in his throat and turns into a sob.
"You're my everything, don't take any shit from those French guys." I attempt to joke but it falls deaf on both of our ears.
"Please don't forget me."
"Please don't forget me," I repeat his words from last night, my voice barely above a whisper as we stand at the gate. His flight is about to board and I can feel my hands shaking, my whole body straining to be closer to him. He forces a small, sad smile and runs his hand through my hair. Quickly, I lean into the touch, closing my eyes and trying to memorize the way it feels. I feel his thumb swipe across my cheekbone, catching a tear I didn't even realize I'd shed.
"Flight 108 to Paris is now boarding. Flight 108 to Paris is now boarding."
I swallow hard and make myself meet his eyes, my hands clutching onto his waist. He brings his hands up to my cheeks and pulls my face to his, meeting my lips. This kiss is nothing like what we've shared before. It's tense and electric, buzzing with promises and longing. It's fierce but tender and it feels so much like goodbye I feel it deep inside my chest.
"I won't." He whispers against my lips as he pulls back, brushing our noses together. Slowly, he pulls away and turns, heading towards the gate and I feel another piece of my heart break away and go with him.
"Yes, these are the perfect blueprints for what we're looking for." Mr.Grayson looks pleased as he looks at the many papers spread out on my desk. Internally, I hate him for giving us the Brooklyn contract. It's a huge hotel that I know will bring us a massive amount of money, but it's also the reason I'm stuck here and Magnus is halfway across the world without me. He's only been gone 4 days and it's killing me.
"Great, I'm glad it's what you're looking for." I fake enthusiasm, taking a long sip of coffee and smiling at him.
"If you don't mind me asking, Mr. Lightwood, where exactly is Mr. Bane? I was under the impression he'd be handling this contract alongside you. Not to step on your toes or anything, I'm sure you're more than qualified to do the job." I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from sobbing and plaster a smile on my face, shaking my head.
"No offense taken. It was initially the plan to work on this job together, I assure you, but we actually got double booked with a contract based in Paris. Magnus left for Paris earlier this week, actually, and I'll be consulting with him over your contract as well while he's gone. Sorry for the inconvenience."
"Not a problem at all, Mr. Lightwood. You seem to have a great understanding and hold on the project, I trust you'll handle everything well." I nod and stand to shake his hand, watching as he leaves my office before I crumple back down into my chair. He's right, I have no clue what I'm doing. Magnus left me instructions and phone numbers for people I don't know. We were contracted to draw up the blueprints and figure out details on cost and efficiency for getting the job done. Luckily Magnus and a few of the artists from downstairs drew up the rough drafts of the blueprints, but I know there will be more to do. It scares me to have such pressure on me when I have no clue what I'm doing. Maybe I should look into going to university, taking a few actual architect courses. Maybe this was all a big mistake. I shake my head back and forth to clear out the negative thoughts, forcing myself to clear off my desk and try and be productive. Before I can get to work, my cell phone rings.
"Hello, Alexander Lightwood speaking." I answer professionally, not even looking at the number on the screen before I answer. I hear a familiar chuckle on the other line and feel my chest get tight at the sound. "Magnus," I breathe, fighting back tears.
"Hey there, love. How are you doing?" I want to scream, to tell him to come home right now. But I bite my tongue, refusing to make him feel guilty.
"Alright, I guess. Lonely. How are you?" I can hear him pacing around what I assume is his hotel room.
"Horrendous. I miss you to pieces and I realized I don't like being alone anymore. How's the Chairman? Has he even noticed I'm gone?" I laugh a bit and smile into the phone. In mere seconds he's fixed up the most broken parts of me.
"He's annoying me for sure. He misses you. I've been letting him sleep in the bed." He laughs openly into the phone and the sound makes me fly.
"I miss you both so much. It's a nice hotel, though, I'll give them that. I ordered room service because I've ben sulking and it's almost as good as your food." I flush a bit at the compliment and lean against my desk, looking out the window at the streets below.
"Nothing will out-do my cooking, Bane." He chuckles again and I miss the sound as soon as it's gone.
"Hey, Alexander," He begins. I hum in response. "It's only one month and 28 days until I come home." I sigh softly into the phone.
"One month and 28 days too long." He sighs back and I know he feels the distance as much as I do. "But don't sulk too much. Enjoy Paris. Take a lot of photos for me, I want to experience it to, you know."
"Okay, I promise I will."
"Just have fun. I want you to have a good time, I don't want you to hate it because of this stupid situation." I pull a tuft of cotton off of my pants and hear his soft breathing through the phone.
"I'll try."
"It's getting late there, right? Go get some rest, Magnus. Take care of yourself for me."
"Alright, Alexander. Take care." I hang up and breathe deeply, trying to fight off the breakdown I can feel looming over me. Sighing, I sink down into my chair and bury my face in my hands, dropping my phone on the carpet. After several minutes of silent misery, I slowly pull myself up and pick up the discarded object, tucking it into my pocket. It's nearly 5 anyways, no point in starting any paperwork I won't finish, so I decide to head home early. I walk out of my office, turning the lights off and closing the door behind me. Meliorn is just sliding his coat on as I walk out.
"Have a good night, Mr. Lightwood." He smiles at me and I force a smile back.
"You too, Meliorn." He flashes me a soft smile as I head into the elevator, chewing my lip as it descends. Tessa throws me a sympathetic glance as I step out of the elevator and I assume it's because I look like I've been crying, which I'll admit, I nearly have. I smile at her sadly and she pulls me into her arms. We've spoken a few times over the past couple of months, mostly about Magnus. She shares funny stories about him and we laugh over the stupid things he does daily. But now, there's no lighthearted storytelling or laughter. There are only her arms around me, her small hands patting my back reassuringly as if to say 'he'll come home' or 'it'll be okay' but really, I just feel as if she's holding me together because we both know I'm seconds away from shattering.
I walk home, letting the balmy summer air engulf me. I slide my suit jacket off, hang it over my shoulder and scuff my shoes along the pavement. The world moves on around me, young girls bustling down the streets, arms linked and laughter sweet as candy ricocheting off the buildings, men sauntering down the streets talking, people calling cabs and cars whistling by. For me, everything is still. I feel as if I won't properly move for the next two months as if I'm just a statue and I need Magnus to bring me back to life. But as one of the young girls stumbles passed me, throwing an apology over her shoulder, I realize that even if I stop, nothing else will. Even if I'm broken, the rest of the world keeps existing.
"I really have got to go, babe, these French guys wait for no one." I smile into the phone and sigh.
"Fine, Bane. You show them who's boss. Make that money or something." He laughs softly and sighs into the phone as his laughter fades.
"Alright, I'm counting down the days."
"Me too." I hang up and shuffle my file folder together, checking the time before heading down to the meeting room. It's the final meeting with Mr. Grayson on the Brooklyn contract before it's out of our hands and we get paid. Things have been running smoothly over the past several weeks since Magnus headed to Paris. Other than the bitter ache that has resided in me and the longing I feel for him constantly, business has been running well. I haven't seen much of Jace, Simon, Max or Izzy, what with them spending their summer in the sun while I work and sulk. I walk into the meeting room, plastering that fake smile on my face and sitting down. This is going to be a long meeting.
I put Chairman Meow's food down and take a bite out of an apple, leaning against the counter and watching him eat. It's only 6 in the morning but my excitement has been building over the past week. It's only another week until Magnus comes home and everything in me is amped up, ready for his arrival. I don't have work today, seeing as it's only Saturday, but I can't make myself go back to bed. With a sigh, I throw the core of my apple away and amble into the living room, the Chairman on my heels, always down for a cuddle session. Since Magnus left, he's all I've got. Flicking the television on, I sink down onto the comfortable cushions and watch the news, stroking the Chairman as he curls up in my lap. I find my thoughts drifting, wondering what all has changed in two months. I imagine the best things, like Magnus' smile as he glides towards me, like sinking into his strong arms, like carding my hands through his dark hair and laughing at the glitter that floats out, like kissing his smooth lips, tasting the caramel and sweetness on them, melting into his touch and telling him how much I missed him, how glad I am that he's home. I imagine spending the evening in bed with him, relearning each other's bodies, rememorizing each touch and sound, coming undone beneath him. But I also imagine the worst, like him stepping off the plane holding someone else's hand, or him only coming home to tell me it's over, that he met someone new. I imagine him telling me he's grown bored of pretending I'm worth his time, or stepping off the plane and looking disgusted when I throw my arms around him. I curl into myself, the Chairman meowing in annoyance and hopping off my lap in search of somewhere better to sleep. I choke back the sobs, burying my face in the couch and throwing my fist against it in an attempt to wash out the pain. I feel weak and unsteady like I've completely lost it as I sob into a stupid couch for a guy who is worth far more than I'll ever know. After breaking down on the couch, I pull myself up and blink at the clock, seeing that I've wasted an entire hour crying to myself. With a forlorn sigh, I drag myself to the bathroom and into the shower, hoping the hot water will calm my aching nerves. One more week, I tell myself. One more week and then you'll have your answer.
It's been the longest week of my life. I tied up the contract with Mr. Grayson, thankfully shaking his hand for the last time and seeing him out of my office. Magnus' plane lands in an hour and I'm just finishing getting ready. I look at myself in the mirror, hair arranged into its usual half messy state. My cheeks are flushed with nerves as I refold the cuffs of my blazer at my elbows. It's a deep navy with white lines vertically and horizontally cutting across it. Beneath it, I wear a crisp button up white shirt. Nervously, I smooth my hand down the front to make sure it's flat. I look down at my dark black jeans, making sure they look perfect tucked into my brown dress boots. With one last glance at myself, deeming myself decent enough, I grab my keys and head out to drive to the airport. When I get there, I'm a trembling ball of nerves. I grip the bouquet of deep purple orchids in my hand as I wait near the gate for his flight to land. My palms are sweaty, hands shaking with anticipation and fear of the worst, but I try and just imagine Magnus' beautiful eyes and smile, his arms wrapping around me and taking me home. I see the gate open and tense up, standing on my tippy toes to see better, looking for that familiar spiky black hair that I love so much. And in a split second, my world becomes clear again.