"It's a girl!"
The words sounded like music to my ears. Her little cry is so soft that I burst with joy. After nine incredible, chaotic, heartfelt, near combustion months... She's here. In the real world. Harry rushes to cut her umbilical cord. The look on his face is indescribable. It's perfect, with dimples embedded in his cheeks. I turn to Ali with a gracious grin and even she has tears in her eyes. I don't know what to say, and clearly, not does she. Ali sits in her wheelchair and I can almost sense her heartache. This was going to be her baby. But instead of hatred or anything uncomfortable, she leans in to hug me and she whispers in my ear, "she's beautiful."
Harry is back at my side, wiping sweat from my forehead with the cloth. "How is she?" I ask, out of breath, my heart still pulsing out of my chest.
He kneels down and kisses my forehead. "She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, Taylor. She's perfect."
I wrap my arms around Harry, it's like the pain became numb with my adrenaline. I'm exhausted and happy. Extremely happy, and I just want to hold my little Ellie. I have to wait a few moments before she's brought to me, but when she is, I can't even explain the rush I get. Her little wiped down body, swaddled in a blanket. As she's being placed in my arms, I feel the most amazing sense of comfort. "Hello, Ellie." I say, touching her little red button nose. For months I've been saying her name. Feeling it out as it rolls off of my tongue. Numerous times I've say there and just talked to her through the barrier of skin. Now I see her. Lips slightly parted and slowly, her eyes open. The first thing she sees is me, and I wouldn't change that for anything. She's the finest thing I've ever seen, could have ever even imagined. She's beautiful though, just like Harry said. She looks just like him... And me. A combination fitted beautifully.
"Hello, baby girl." Harry whispers gracing her cheek with his fingertip. She breaks her first ever smile and two dimples appear in the corners of her cheeks, just like Harry's. "Happy birthday to my two favourite girls! I will never forget this moment." I shoot a look at Harry and he lets out a laugh. "It's your birthday, her's two. 12:28. That's when she was born."
With a impressed and surprised smile, I look upon my little angel. I never thought I could share my birthday. Not be pregnant on it. But look at me. Not only bearing a child, but delivering one the same day of my birth. What a special thing we have going already. Something so, unique. And different. "Say hi to the camera, Ellie!" Mom interrupts, zooming in on her new precious granddaughter's face.
I roll my eyes and push my mom away, all while my eyes glued to Ellie. Slowly but surely, the nurses and doctor leave. My mom stands beside Ali, a smile spread against her lips. "You sure are a beautiful family." I hear her say before a flash goes off. "This is getting framed as soon as I get home!"
When mom leaves, Harry and I both know we have to talk to Ali. We don't know what either of us want to particularly say, but we know it has to be said. Ellie is quiet and near sleeping in my arms when I look at Harry, then Ali. "I want to name her after you."
Ali's gaze moves from Ellie to me. "What do you mean?!"
"Ellie Alison Styles. It's got a ring to it." Harry adds.
"It's your middle name, Taylor. Of course you're going to pass it down!" She sighs, "thank you for the thought, though."
"I'm serious, Ali. This is for you. And you can stay with us for as long as you need to get back on your feet. We love you. You're our family."
She looks down, digging her fingers into her thighs. "I'm going to burden you. You're new parents."
"Please!" I insist. "It's the least we can do."
•••
They've finally let me out and about. After two precious days of being bed ridden with Ellie, I was finally allowed to drink tea. Although, I didn't entirely want tea, and mainly just wanted to get some air, it was a good enough excuse and seemed to work.
Ellie is an angel. I have no idea how I got so lucky. She hardly cries, and the only time she ever whines is if she's hungry, which is acceptable. She perfect though. She's so alert of her surroundings, and she's gave me the best birthday possible. Of course I'm in pain but seeing her smile, it cures everything. Just like now, she's in my arms, looking right up at me as Harry pushes us through the halls of the hospital. He says he's not lost, but I beg to differ. It's okay though, because these are the moments I cherish and always will cherish.
After a long detour and an adventure around the hospital, we've finally found the coffee shop and get in line. "Oh my gosh, your baby is so cute! Congratulations!" I hear a bright peppy voice say and I look up.
"Ellie!" I squeal with delight as her eyes switch from delighted to ecstatic.
"Taylor!" She says, wide eyed. She's the same wide eyed girl from the meet and greet in Portland one day. Except, she looks happier, healthier.
"What on earth are you doing here? So far from home!"
With a smile at her lips, she laughs. "My cousin is a klutz. Our other cousin got married and the first cousin got drunk and went skinny dipping and was running around and ended up getting a concision." She rolls her eyes. "And you?"
I know she already knows the answer but I'm pleased to give it to her anyway, "this is my daughter." I smile, as she takes her hand, cooing at my tiny one. "Her name is Ellie." I add.
This was the best part. I've dreamt about telling Ellie that I named my daughter after her. I never thought I'd get the chance to. But today, I did and what's about to come up I can't tell if it is reality or imagination. "T-Taylor... You didn't!"
"Ahh!" Harry buds in happily from behind. "This is the lovely girl that our daughter got her name from."
She nearly choked, her eyes darting from me to Harry to little Ellie in my arms. "But... Why?!"
"Do you have some time. For coffee maybe?" I gesture to the table.
She swings her now, light hair over her shoulder with a smile. "Absolutely... But is that okay?"
I roll my eyes. "I wouldn't of said it if I didn't mean it." My fingers pull on Harry's from my shoulders and look up at him and his dimply smile. "Chi tea please."
Harry's lips embed into my forehead. "Anything for you?" He asks Ellie and it's like the question scares her off.
"Oh god no, I can pay for my own coffee!
"Ellie, please. Let us but you coffee, what do you want?" I insist. She orders a latte before wheeling us over to the table around the corner. "So how have you been darling?" I ask, staring intently in her eyes.
"You flipped my life around." Tears in her eyes are immediately paired with her smile. She pulls up her sweater sleeve and flips her wrist, adjusting the tour bracelet she still had it on. "I got it tattooed." She points to the black marker that's permanently marked her skin. "I got help. I went and talked to a therapist and they put me on anxiety and depression medications. I'm weening off them now. I've started writing songs and I have this book that I take everywhere. I just can't thank you enough."
"Can I see it?" She looks at me like a feat in headlights, nonetheless, pulling it from her bag anyway, sliding it across the table. "Do you want to hold her?" I ask, gesturing to the hushed child in my arms. Throughout the last two days, I've hardly let that child leave my arms. Harry holds her often, so does my parents and Ali. Austin isn't too keen, more nervous or dropping her than anything. So when I offer this, it's coming from the heart, because in a way, Ellie was just like me. I pull the attached felt pen from the book and start jotting down words on the empty blank first page.
To Ellie,
For good luck with verses, choruses, bridges, and poems.
Love,
Taylor.
When I look up she hasn't even taken her eyes off of Ellie. They're pealed, as if the moment she looks away, she'll miss everything. She's going to be an amazing mother one day. I can sense it. I close the book and attach back the pen, running my fingers down it's leather binding. "It's a beautiful book." I say, sliding it back.
"You saved me, Taylor." Her words pour as she looks up for a moment.
"And you saved me."
She thinks I'm crazy after that statement. Like I've lost my mind. "What do you mean..."
"Orders up!" Harry comes just in time. Drinks in hands, pastries on a plater. "What are you lovely ladies talking about?"
"Oh nothing much... Not yet anyway!"
A/N
Ahhhhhhh when Taylor wrote that note to a girl in club red the other night I KNEW I had to incorporate it somehow. This would've been up earlier but AHHHHHHHHH. Taylor's hair 😍😍😍