~~~
There is no despair so absolute as that
Which comes with the first moments of our first great sorrow,
When we have not yet known what it is to have suffered and be healed,
To have despaired and have recovered hope.
-George Eliot
~~~
Roentgen Estate;
The continuous, heavy taps on the front door caused Zachary to awaken from his satisfied slumber.
He glanced at Scarlet, who was sleeping beside him- her body flush against his- and smiled.
Another round of heavy knocking and a loud voice calling his name, caused him to frown and groan in frustration.
He lifted his arm from around the beauty sleeping next to him and climbed down the bed,; quickly donning his trousers, the thin white linen shirt and his blue robe.
His movement caused Scarlet to wake up and she sat up in bed, pulling the sheets around her naked body.
"What happened? Where are you going?"
She asked Zachary in a sleepy voice as he made his way towards the door.
"There is someone at the door. They are calling for me. Let me go and check. You should take some rest."
He spoke in an affectionate tone before making his way back to her and gave a swift but loving peck on her mouth.
Zachary descended the stairs faster as the pounding grew more urgent.
Scarlet had dismissed the servants and the helpers so he had to open the door by himself.
Pushing the bolts back, he pulled the heavy door open to meet the faces of the three soldiers.
He frowned seeing them there.
"What is the meaning of this? I believe I had made myself perfectly clear when I told you not to disturb me when I am at Roentgen Estate."
He spoke in a stern and annoyed tone.
His men never disobeyed him. He wondered what had possibly lead them to do that now...
"We apologize for the intrusion, My Lord but we had orders from Lady Margaret herself. She demands you to be home immediately."
The first soldier spoke slowly, looking at his feet.
Zachary's jaw tightened at his words.
He loved his mother but he certainly did not appreciate her treatment of his around his own men, totally disregarding his position as the Lord of the Estate but he swallowed his anger and asked in a firm tone,
"What for?"
The soldier answered almost immediately-
"Lady Saya is in labour, My Lord. It had started at night.
Lady Margaret asked us to inform you that she does not have much time left.
She has lost much blood, trying to birth a son and that this might be the last time you would be able to see her alive."
His words were rushed as if he feared he would miss something.
Zachary felt the ground beneath his feet give away.
His mind reeled at the new information and he did not even realise that he had mounted his horse and was already galloping his way to his estate, leaving the three men to follow after him.
__________________________________
Hayworth Estate;
"Where is she?"
Zachary spoke breathlessly, stopping a maid in the corridor.
She looked at him oddly and he noticed the unshed tears masking her eyes.
She simply pointed towards the gate of the birthing-chamber, at the end of the corridor and rushed past him.
Zachary did not waste any time dwelling on her strange behaviour and sprinted towards the closed door.
The entire estate, upon his arrival, had felt glum and lifeless; an eerie silence shrouded the place.
The overcast sky only added to the gloom and Zachary willed himself to be positive as he pushed the door open with a force.
The women inside the room were startled by the sudden intrusion and several gasps were heard.
But Zachary did not mind them, for his gaze directly fell on the woman, his wife, lying bloodied and lifeless on the bed in the center of the room.
The sight of the blood-soaked sheets alone were enough to cause anyone to gag, the stench of it filled the air.
Saya was lying unmoving and broken on it, her raven hair stuck to her forehead and spread on the pillow while her bronze skin no longer glowed.
Her raven eyes were closed and she looked incredibly ashen.
Zachary felt numb and his breath hitched at the sight in front of him.
"Saya.."
His voice came out as broken whisper as he advanced with excruciating effort towards the bed, but his steps were arrested as soon as soft whimper reached his ears.
His eyes snapped in the direction of the voice and he saw for the first time since he entered the room, his mother and sister standing by the crib- both of them holding a bundle each in their arms.
Zachary's already numb senses could not register what was happening and he simply stared at them.
He found that both of them had silent tears escaping their eyes-eyes which were reproaching him with a coldness that stabbed his heart.
Then the bundle in his mother's arms moved and let out a soft whimper.
Without thinking, Zachary made his way towards her, his eyes focused on the bundle.
Once he was close enough, he noticed that it contained the most beautiful child in it.
The baby was swathed but judging by its whimpers, wished to be free.
Zachary absent mindedly brought his index finger to the extraordinarily small hand and watched in awe as it was wrapped around his finger.
The baby did not even open its eyes.
"Maya"
He heard her mother whisper softly.
With his still numb mind, he simply stared at her.
"She named her Maya and your son as Brandon"
Lady Margaret's voice was soft, but she was not looking at him.
Instead, her gaze was directed towards the bundle in his sister's hand.
Zachary's heart soared at the possibility of what her words implied.
He walked slowly towards his sister, who turned her head away from him as he approached and noticed an angelic baby sleeping soundly in his sister's arms.
His throat constricted at the sight of his children.
The reality of the situation- that he had a beautiful baby daughter as well as a son- sunk in and his heart welled up with love for them.
However, as he stretched his hands forward- to hold his son in his arms, his mother's cold voice stopped him.
"She asked you to take care of her children."
He turned back to meet his mother's unforgiving and icy gaze.
"She also asked you to love them, even though you did not love her."
Zachary felt a lump rise in his throat at her words and his eyes welled up with tears.
His mother's face however, remained stoic, though the tears were falling freely as she advanced towards him.
She leaned forward and spoke in a bitter voice,
"And she asked me to tell you that she loved you, Lord Hayworth."
No blade would have cut his heart deeper at that moment than his mother's words.
She had never called him by his title; to her, he had always been her Zach. Always- until today.
The room was utterly quiet.
The maids and the midwife had left the chamber upon his arrival, to give the family some privacy at their time of grief.
Lady Margaret glanced at her daughter and motioned for her to follow her outside.
They made their way towards the door, still carrying the infants in their arms but before they could move out, Zachary's broken whisper reached them,
"Mother, please..."
But this time it had no effect on Lady Margaret. She felt no other emotion for the man standing in the room besides shame and spite.
Without turning back, she spoke in the same unfeeling voice as before, though this time it was laced with reproach and spitefulness-
"I curse the day she married you. You did not deserve her and I hope you live with this regret for the rest of your life, feeling a fraction of the pain you inflicted upon her every moment."
Saying this, she hurried out of the room along with Eleanor, leaving behind a devastated Zachary.
__________________________________
Once outside, Lady Margaret leaned her back on the wall and sobbed softly.
Eleanor handed her nephew to the midwife standing there and went to console her mother, even though her own heart was full of sorrow.
__________________________________
Zachary stood beside the bed, his eyes taking in the state of his wife.
He had never considered Saya to be beautiful, though her mother and sister suggested otherwise.
Yes, she was blessed with exotic looks and luscious, ample curves and held an innocent charm about her but she was nothing special to him.
The simple fact being that he did not like her type of women.
But today, he would have given everything in the world to have the colour return to her skin, which looked unusually pale and ashen.
Zachary kneeled down beside the bed and took her lifeless, blood-stained palm in his shaking hands; her bronze skin contrasting against his pale one.
He was feeling a whole whirlwind of emotions but to top all of them were regret and shame.
Regret, at not being able to be with her when she needed him the most despite knowing for a fact that the time of her labour was approaching and shame, at the fact that while his wife lay in her deathbed,- taking her last breaths, he was enjoying himself in the arms of Scarlet.
Zachary had not even gained her forgiveness for the unspeakable pain that he had put her through.
He had vowed to try his best to do so but fates had now snatched that chance away from him.
His mother's words rang in his ears-
"She said she loved you..."
The tears finally escaped his eyes.
He could never love her. He had tried but he couldn't while she had loved him with all her heart.
He had always been aware of the fact but his indifference was his one main defense against it.
Today however, he wished that he had at least acknowledged the fact as he wept his heart out, holding his dead wife's hand in his.
He cried for his wife and the mother of his children, a woman whose essence would forever be ingrained in his life...
__________________________________
Meanwhile, in the gloomy courtyard, stood a lone figure; so forlorn and devastated, that his mere sight was enough to arouse pity in anyone's heart.
Geoffrey's world had collapsed the second he heard the news from the mouths of the wailing maids.
His eyes were stinging due to crying endlessly and his shoulder-length black hair was tangled and messy.
The bells of the tower had already announced the birth of a son and not long after that, came the news of the death of Saya.
The beautiful light shone no more.
It was extinguished forever...
Not being able to control his feelings anymore, he dropped down to his knees and clutching his raven locks in his calloused hands, let out an agonizing cry....
(To be continued...)
Author's note-
Thank you to all who are supporting this book.
It means a lot!
I would like to dedicate this chapter to my little sister, Sakshi....
She was the one who typed all this, consulting my notebook...I was too busy!
If not for her, I wouldn't have been able to post this till next month.
So, thank you sister 😘
I know what you all might be thinking...Even I'm surprised by her act of kindness!
(Though I had to bribe her a little 😋)
But anyways, she did this...So 💕💕👯💖