A/N: Hey. Here's music. Listen before reading. Or while, don't matter (middle part, you'll know when.) There's another song later in this chapter it'll say play now, so when it does just you know... play it. Anyways felt like this song fits the overall theme a bit- ish.
The day was sunny and warm, and Markys thought to himself that it was a rather swell sign. But the idea was only there to better his nervousness, after all, even with the days in between the ones leading up to this one he found in them no ways to calm the unwanted fear.
Not much was able to fear Markys, he was a man of many attributes and fear was not one of them, brave and kind he was, willing to stand when other wouldn't, when other couldn't. He took pride in himself for that, and before his great fall, many took pride in having a leader such as him. Yet all it took was his son, his mere son, his only child, to cause him to worry the way he was. Causing him to question himself and his decisions, if what he'd done this whole time was truly the right thing, if what he would do soon would be the right thing? And as much elated as he was for finally being able to greet his son, he found himself more frightened by the endless scenarios of how today could possibly go.
If his son rejected him, would he be able to live with himself?
"Oh Markys," Roseline's soft voice caress his racing thoughts and when he meets her gaze she silences the worries,"You're worried aren't you?" her slender cold fingers stroke his cheek and she sits down next to him, dressed in only her undergarments, "I'm with you my love. All will be fine."
"Do you know that?" Markys's golden eyes flashes with a bit of rage and Roseline only smiles at him.
"You think I only speak to comfort you..." her gentle voice dips with amusement, "You know better of me Markys," she stands and walks over to her closet. The slender hips of her small figure swaying as she goes, "I'm not afraid of hurting your feelings... even if it's just a little bit." She grabs a simple long skirt and when turning back around her lips curve playfully into a smile.
Markys to his astonishment smiles back at her suddenly thankful for her toying manners, even though the attribute had the tendency to become quite vexing towards him at some points, it lightened up his mood even if only a slight bit, "Rose darling, wear a dress."
"Markys my love, I'll wear what I please and offer me another attire again then I promise you I will go naked."
Markys stands and catches the sparkle in her light green eyes, before slipping his hands around her slim waist, "I don't find myself minding that so much. I rather like you naked, all the more easier to show you how much I do."
"Mm tempting Markys really," she replies sarcastically before slipping away from him on bouncy light feet. Markys cocks his head as he observes his lover, he could see she was unusually happy and he knew for why as well. She was happy for him, and today, and all that will come with it. She was happy that the hidden secrets would no longer stay hidden secrets and all the burdens she carried on those narrow shoulders of hers would finally be lifted. And though she would never admit it aloud she was happy to be apart of the family she remembered seemingly from so long ago, the very one that included his son.
Walking carefully over to a dresser Markys leans across it, crossing his arm and ankle atop the other, "We're really to do this Rose?" He states incredulously, "Truly?" He meets her gazes warily now and watches her warm eyes melt into a firmness and final answer.
"We're really doing this Markys, yes... Truly."
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Ines
It was not something gentle.
It was not kind, nor sweet.
It did not cure, it didn't warm.
It did not leave neither of us adorn.
It was rather ruthless in fact.
Hidden but untamed. Unspoken but felt no where near the same.
Niether to breath without the other. But neither to truly love with smother-
"Ugh..." I sigh then slam the journal shut and throw it across the bed. Nothing felt right. Not a single word of it felt true, and even when trying to fix it I found I didn't know how to really say it, or what I was truly trying to say to begin with.
Standing finally I go to Arie and Ronan's room to help with their packing. They were going to go back home after the August ball which was happening this Friday. Every passing moment I realized how nervous I was to finally formally meet all of Jerias's... people.
"Ines!" Arie huffs out, "You came to help! Oh you kind soul, how I love you so."
"Why're you so weird," I shake my head at her laughing.
"Why am I so fantastic you mean?"
"No. What do you need help with?"
"Those clothes in the drawer there," Arie points to the dresser next to me, "Take them all and throw them in this suitcase. Thanks."
"Throw them in the suitcase? Are you sure you don't want me to fold them?"
"Nah. You can if you want but I usually don't so I don't care."
I pull the suitcase over the bed and grab some clothes from the drawer to fold, "It's gunna be so boring here with out you." I groan sadly.
"Oh you'll be fine." Arie sings, "I can still always just come and visit."
"You better do it every day."
"Awe, are you in love with me already?"
I raise my brows, "Never mind, stay over there and never come back."
"I'm kidding. Kidding." She laughs, "But I know what you mean. I'm gunna miss you too. When I think about it, it really is gunna kinda be boring." She sighs then, and grabs some clothes stuffing them in her suitcase, "But at least you have a job to keep you busy. I should get one too. You're inspiring Ines."
"I know. Thank you."
She turns to eye me and I smile innocently, "Listen, are the people in the council nice?" I ask.
"Oh honey, no. Never. They're ruthless assholes. They'll chew you up and spit you out."
I stop what I'm doing feeling discouraged and a bit unnerved, "S-Seriously," I ask nervously.
Then Arie burst out laughing, "Ines I'm joking. Look at your face you got so scared." She waves a hand, "Relax girl, they're nice people, seriously. Some of them even have Amaranthine themselves, so they should all be understanding."
"Really," I ask doubtfully.
"Yes, really. I mean there are about two men on there who don't have Amaranthine." She shrugs, "it's kinda weird cause they're the oldest ones in the Council, a good three or four hundred years but no Amaranthine. It's surprising that they're still on animal blood."
"And they're mean?"
"Girl they cold hearted. They hate humans, they hate Jerias and Ronan, they hate Jerias's father, they hate the very idea of Amaranthine bonding, they hate me, you and they don't even know you. Girl they just full of hate."
"They hate Jerias's father. Markys?"
"Oh yeah. They were one of the people to vote for his death," Arie shakes her head.
"Damn," I huff out.
"Don't stress over it too much girl. Trust me you'll be fine."
I don't answer her, I wasn't worried about the ball, more rather the fact that Jerias had to work with such people, "When do the guys come back from work?"
"What time is it now? Three... so in an hour or two. Why? You miss your master?" Arie jokes.
"I'll punch you. I swear," and Arie laughs harder, "I just wanted to talk to Jerias about something."
"What?"
"The ball." The lie comes out smoothly.
"What's wrong with him anyways? He's been so out of it lately." Arie looks at me now, "Even with Ronan and you never mind me."
I shrug, "Honestly I don't know." He has been distant, and I felt it firsthand, only time he'd come to me was to feed, or if either of us were in pain. Sometimes I'd have to go to him cause he would avoid me even when he was hurting. Like two day ago, he was in the library working on something, I went down finding him wincing in pain and clutching his chest. He'd been doing it for a couple days before that but never confronted me about it. So without saying anything, I just went up to him and slipped my hands underneath his shirt, kissing his neck. Enjoying the feel of him weakening against me, sighing in pleasure. And then he pulled away, looked at with unreadable eyes, gathered his stuff and left.
I wasn't angry at him, I understood why he was reacting that way. He was just scared, and I suppose he had every right to be.
"Hey," Arie concerned voice snaps me back to reality, "Lets go downstairs, watch some tv or something."
I want to protest but I can tell she only offers in hopes that it'll make me feel better. So I smile and nod, "Okay, but I'm choosing what to watch."
"Yeah, whatever." She rolls her eyes.
I follow her out the room and hesitate a moment as we walk.
"What?" She ask keen to my demeanor.
"I was wondering..." I look to her with a fraction of a smile, "do you ever miss your old life? Do you ever wish this didn't happen to you?"
Arie smiles and trust the back of her head, "Honestly. Yeah, I used to all the time. I actually used to hate Ronan with every ounce of me, he doesn't seem it but he's a jerk. He wasn't as kind and understanding to me as Jerias was to you. So in turn, it took a while for me to understand him. But it didn't make being here, or being an Amaranthine any easier once I did. There were times when I wished I had just died and that was it. But..." she pauses and clears her throat, "That was when I didn't understand."
"Understand what?" I ask quietly.
"What it really meant to be an Amaranthine." She stops walking and I turn to look at her. Her eyes are firm when she looks at me, "You know Ines? This isn't some coincidence. This is..." she shakes her head and looks away, "You and I were meant to be Amaranthines."
"It's fate?" I ask.
"Yeah... no... I don't know. It's- craziness."
Confused to her answer I continue walking and she follows, "How'd you react when you found out about vampires existing, well Nosferatu's but you know what I mean."
"Can't say really," she shrugs, "I knew something was up, I had died yet suddenly I was alive. Everyone and everything was strange. I wasn't so much shocked that they existed as one was supposed to be. I kinda had a month or two to delve into the idea after all."
"While healing right?" I nod agreeing, "Same for me. But it wasn't because I died and came back to life but because I watched Sulana move from one side of the room to the other in like one freaking second," Arie laughs and I continue, "I mean seriously, I thought I was hallucinating for so long."
Grinning wide I shake my head sighing heavily, "But you know... sometimes I do think about it," my voice is calm but saying the words aloud causes my blood to rush and my heartbeat to pulse loudly in my ears, my body vibrating with every thump, "I think about being dead right now." I look over at her, "I would be with my mom right now if I were still dead," looking down at my feet I fold my hands behind my back shrugging, "And then sometimes I think about what if I never died... I'd be in college... getting my degree in... something. I don't know in what exactly since I was undecided but... still, you know..."
"You find yourself wanting that more than what you have now do you?" Arie says understandingly.
My smile is small and sad, "Sometimes. Yeah..."
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Jerias hand were soft and coaxing against my leg, traveling up slowly over my body.
My eyes flutter open and I look at him, my smile is undeniable and free when our eyes lock, "Hey," I whisper.
"Hey sleepyhead." His honey baritone voice fills me up with softness and glee and I laugh at him.
"Sleepyhead?" I ask.
"Mhmm," he lowers himself and his lips find my bare shoulder and plants trails of delicate kisses up against my neck, "You're always lying around Ines, case you haven't noticed. You do nothing all day, everyday."
"That doesn't make me a sleepyhead Jerias," I cup his face pulling it down to my own and he lies on top of me on the couch. The press of his body against mine more than satisfying, "That just makes me lazy."
His smile is small and he lowers himself, "Maybe I should wake you up a bit hmm?" His lips fall softly on mine but it's only a teasing kiss.
"How?" I breath out all too excited.
His fingers reach down, fluttering over my belly grazing against my pants and presses against a sensitive area between my legs. I shut my eyes making a soft short sound, "Like that." He tells me and his eye darken to my liking. That wild passionate look in his eyes that let me know that Jerias was being himself right now.
I search his face and nod lifting my hips to press against his hands, "Yeah..." I say softly, "I like that."
"I know you do," He cocks his head pleased with my reaction.
"Mhmm." Whimpering I allow his lips to fall against mine harder than before. My lips part allowing entrance and the feel of his tongue wet against my own leaves my stomach floating with pleasure. Jerias himself groans and I reach my hand down, touching against the hard length of him. He shudders and I smile against his mouth. Such a guarded man yet he had the purest reactions.
He pulls away and removes his shirt and I watch him do so, not bothering to hide the pleased look on my face of seeing him shirtless. Bending down he lowers his head over my hips where he begins pulling my shorts off along with my underwear. His eyes are heavy as they bore into my own and he parts my legs tantalizingly slow before kissing me-
"...nes."
"Mm." I moan out shifting a bit.
"Ines... ke up. Are you okay?"
"Wha..."
"Ines?" Arie's concerned voice cracks through me mind like rocks. My eyes snap open and I look at her in shock.
"You okay?" She ask me as I sit, moving away from her on the couch. The tv was still on but the living room was darker now, the light had been shut.
"Oh my gosh..." I breath out my body stricken with heat from embarrassment.
"You were crying." Arie continues, "Were you having a bad dream?"
"No..." I say and then I look at her shaking my head, "I mean yes. Yes, a very horrible, disturbing, bad, bad..." I slow my breathing placing my hand over my chest, "Dream."
"Ines," Arie looks at me skeptically, "What?"
"What time is it?"
"Bout five thirty." She looks back at the tv clearly disturbed by my reaction.
"Is Jerias home?"
"Yeah. He came with Ronan a while ago."
Getting up I ignore Arie when she asked where I was going. I see Jasper on the way and he tells me that Jerias was in his study.
"His study... what? Can you just maybe show me where it is?"
"Of course." I follow him there and once we arrive I waste not even a beat of moment to enter the room, it wasn't until I was inside that I realized I hadn't knocked. Shrugging the action off, I search the room for him but his plain large black desk, and grey chair is empty. The sleek room was a nice area, and the simple decor of a small square couch set made the room more open to my liking. Stepping forward I spot him in another room, completely revealed as the walls where made of mere glass. I find myself pausing just as quickly as I began walking.
Jerias was shirtless and glistening with sweat, his arms flexing and muscles stretching as he threw his fist continuously forward at the punching bag, moving at vigorous speed with angry blows. I was almost scared enough to not approach him, but I had something important to say, so I pushed the half discomfort and half arousal feeling away and continued onwards to him, noticing the work out machines.
Is this a study or workout room?
Slightly slamming the door open I flinch when it bangs back against the glass walls.
Jerias falters his movements, but it's only for a split moment. Rolling his shoulders he doesn't even turn around, clearly choosing to ignore me. Instead he's throwing punches again, with more severe precision than the last time.
Oh really? He's mad?
I cock my head to the side with my hands on my hip ready to start yelling at him. Ready to give him my fair share of foul words and a piece of my mind. I was more than a little bitter, and at this point I deservedly needed an explanation to why he was ignoring me.
"Excuse me!" I yell stepping forward close to him, nearly knocked off my feet by the musty sweet scent of his.
"Jerias!" I yell again shoving at his arm, his jaw clenching in anger; more rather furiously, but that didn't matter to me. I'd finally gotten his attention even though he still refused to look at me. Instead his arms falls to his side and he rolls his shoulder as if stressed. His eyes look up and then he shuts them, I watch his handsome flushed face contort into a variety of emotions I related to much more than I wanted. His newly cut hair slightly damp with sweat, a drop of it slipping down his cheek. Quickly, he wipes it away and distances himself from me, my heart shattering in my chest. I blink rapidly to keep tears from falling, and I ignore the feeling of my chest dipping into my stomach. Slowly becoming numb I feel my heartbeat quicken and sadness starts mixing with anger.
I open my mouth to speak but my voice cracks immediately. Thats when a tear falls and my fingers wipe it away before it can complete it's journey down my cheeks.
"Fuck." I curse under my breath and try again, "I..." Clenching my jaw I stare up at the ceiling into the light before I feel my nails digging into my palms. Deciding that I didn't really want to argue with him right now I come up with something else to say, "I didn't know you had a punching bag."
Jerias adjust the straps on his hand and looks down at it, "Yes." He says then wiping his brow with the back of his foreman, "What of it?"
"Nothing... with all the uh..." I try clearing my throat again as I attempt to awkwardly say anything, "All the uh... work you do and stuff I just didn't think you had like... time for-" turning around I take a couple steps away from him and I find myself heaving for air now. And I know that the pain in my chest currently was only just pure anxiety, "Why won't you look at me?"
No response came from him and it was exactly what I expected, exactly what I needed to make me angrier.
"I mean you- you won't touch me, you feed from me less, you only do ever acknowledge my existence only when either one of us in pain. And even then do you touch me as little as possible!" I start ranting off a list of random things I felt matter to me and I find myself standing much closer to him now, though his back is still facing me, "Did I do something to you. Are you mad at me? You're just... probably stressed right? You're worried about whats happening..."
I run my fingers through my loose hair and groan in frustration, "And all I can do is think about you. Worry about you... Dream... about you," the last words come out softer, "I dreamt about you t-touching me. I actually dreamt about you... that's never happened to me before, no one has ever been on my mind so constantly that they've reached the unconscious depths of it."
He scuffs and turns sideways to me, tugging at the gloves on his hand, but he still refuses to look, "Welcome to the club." His cynical words cut deep and I'm angry all over again, stomping as I move to stand in front of him. Forcing him to see and truly acknowledge my presence.
"You know what?" pointing at him now suddenly feeling over it, "Fuck you." I claw out bitterly through clenched teeth. "Fuck this, fuck your bullshit and fuck you."
He steps closer to me hovering over me with enraged golden eyes, as if to say how dare I speak to him that way, his lips part and it seems like he's going to finally blow. Finally speak and spill out his deepest thoughts but they press together just as quickly and instead he says, "Leave Ines. Now."
"Keeping trying me? And I will leave." I was taunting him now. But the idea of it had grown strangely keen to me as soon as I said it. Get away from this all? Part of me would really love that... but is it even possible?
The words get a reaction of shock and outrage from him and I smile slyly.
"That's what you want right?" I whisper resentfully, "For me to go. Cause I could Jerias. I could go back to my home town or something and just leave this place and never come back. Probably would be better for you. Isn't that what you're thinking?"
He doesn't answer and I still give him a moment in hopes that he'll deny my accusation, but when I find he won't I shake my head at him disappointed.
"Fine. I'll go," I turn on my heels quickly making my way away from him. He can find some other bitch to be his Amaranthine, "Piece of sh-" my body is slammed against a wall immediately restricted and trapped as Jerias presses his large build between me and my passage to leave. I yelp out against the slight pain but Jerias shows no care.
"What the hell is wrong with you?!" I say shocked, at first surprised, but then just as quickly I narrow my eyes when I see the dark look in his, "Let me go." I bore my gaze into his own, and my words are low and clear, a calmness that shadows the storm in me. And I say it but I don't mean it. Not right now, not ever. Not with his intense blazing golden eyes, his full lips pulled into that hard line. Not with that wild look on his handsome face, not ever, not with him like this. For me.
"And where would you go Ines?" He growls out, "Home? Everyone thinks your dead. You plan to pop up out of the blue and say hello to old friends huh?" His eye bore into me with meaningfulness to be sure I understand his next words, "You are mine. You're not going anywhere."
"Fuck you." I only tell him, "Let. Me. Go!" I throw my fist at his chest and he grabs it, obviously not phased, holding my wrist tightly against the wall and I make a strangled sound similar to a frustrated groan, "Get your hands off of me!"
"You want me to touch you?" He questions still with the darkness hovering in his eyes now, "You want me to give you attention?" He cooes clearly mocking me, and his hand slips lower gently down my arm, the other moving around my head and slipping into my hair. Pulling back so that my neck was exposed, "I do those things... And then what huh?" His voice breaks off before he continues, "Everything was working out fine. I was able to be near you, have you with out wanting more, with out falling into desperation and now- and now I can't even live with touching you Ines. Touch you? I can't stop touching you. It hurts when I don't. Do you know what that means? Do you understand it? Because that's big Ines, it's huge... And it. Changes. Everything."
"A little bit of something new and suddenly you're scared. You runaway right?" I find no sympathy in me for him.
"Scared?" he laughs a dry emotionless laugh, "You- You... really don't get it do you? We can't-" His voice is hushed and intense, "I can't stop. It gets... harder every time I do. This- desire for more from you...." he scuffs, "I'm a lot more like my father than you know Ines, and that isn't a good thing."
Linking his lips I watch his eyes wander frantically as if searching for the right words to say before they meet with mine once again in clear certainty, "I..." He starts off, "I touch you Ines and... I get lost in you. I look at you and I am weakened by your beauty, I hear your voice and I'm mesmerized by the sound of it. And all at once, just like that, I want more. I- can't. Stop."
His hand in my hair has loosened and his leans closer, and I only stare at him as I find my words are lost in space unable to formulate into a proper sentence.
"I've never been more angry at you before than I am right now. You've got a mouth on you I never knew you had," he smirks cynically then says much personally, "That was rude Ines, yet..." His lips lean closer to my cheek, "... yet all I can think about is bending you over my desk so I can have my way with you and hear you moan my name."
A shiver caresses me slowly down my spine and I whimper.
"But that's just right now," Jerias's voice softens and I notice how he sounds sad, "Most times I wish to take you away some where far where we could be alone. I'd spend... all night touching you in all the ways that speak of love. All the ways that I know I could finally be honest." He pauses and suddenly I've melted in his hands, "I want to make love to you Ines. And that is more... because, I also wish not to fail my people, and for me to do so... I cannot have more."
Silence is hefty in the air and we only stare at each other, him looking to see if I understand and me understanding yet still anticipating his lips on my own.
"You know?" I whisper, "It does hurt." I shut my eyes to keep tears from falling and I force a smile when I look back at him, but it is weak and my voice wavers with emotions, "In my heart, in my mind. It hurts... fuck the body aches Jerias. It's like... my heart is breaking into a millions pieces."
His lips capture mine quickly, desperately caressing. Warm and alive and wet, and even though it's quick and short my body still reacts as if I just started breathing again. Melting and tingling all at once, as a feeling of being complete and at one finally comes over me. It felt like peace, there were no feelings of butterflies or jitteriness. It was safety and love and comfort. Such comfort. And when he parts away I breath out and I have to ask him, "Now tell me you don't feel that?"
He nods breathing heavily as well, "Every time Ines." He whispers and though his eyes were overly bright, he looks away and he shuts them. And he stands there hovering over me collecting himself it seemed. But instead he soon pulls away removing the straps off his hands. And enters the other room, I take a moment to gather myself as well but nothing calms me and eventually I'm following him into the study. He stands leaning over his desk, his hands gripping the edge, "This is driving me insane."
***PLAY NOW***⬇️⬇️
My eyebrow twitches up, "You?" I mumble out. I cross my arm and lean against the doorway, "Funny..." my mind drifts to a past memory, "You remember when you told me this was something neither of us could understand?" Looking down at the ground I shake my head at him cynically. As confusing as Jerias wanted to make this... it was never that complicated. We knew exactly what we felt, and in the end that was all that should've mattered, "I can't seem to find myself relating to that because... it's like every single part of me understands it Jerias. And I know you do too."
"I do understand." He blurts out frustrated, and turns around to face me sitting back against the desk.
"Then speak to me Jerias," my voice rises all at once again, "Tell me something! Anything! You walk around in your stupid ass brooding silence and I just know you have like a million thoughts. But you tell me nothing! Nothing! You never speak to me!"
"I can't!"
"You can!" I yell my voice slightly raw with strain, my eyes widened in anger and confusion, "Stop saying you can't. Stop pretending you're alone in this! Stop acting like you're making this shit better when all you're doing is making it worse!"
"I am making it better!" He yells, "This-" he stands suddenly and faces me, "This is making everything better. This is safe, whatever in the hell it is! We...? " he points between me and him, "We aren't supposed to work, we can't work Ines! No matter how hard, how painful-hell we could die!" He arms go up in the air hysterically and then he shrugs shaking his head, "We... still... don't..."
"So what? Then you think there's no point. We could die and hurt and that wouldn't change not a thing in you, not an ounce of your heart would want to even try to- to fix this."
"There's nothing to fix."
"It's funny that you say that Jerias. We could die and still it wouldn't work, cause I could see it..." I cock my head to the side and stare at him unsmiling, "Cause it sure as hell looks like its killing you. But then you kiss me..." my voice softens and I breath out a shaky breath, "You kiss me and just the look of peace and relief and content... just that look washing over your face makes me happy."
Jerias stares at me, chewing on his bottom lip, a nervous habit I've never seen him do before, and then he closes his eyes turning his head away as if I wasn't even in the room with him.
"I hope you know what you're doing." I whisper, "I hope you know that the pain that will come with this- all of this, it will be your fault. I hope you know you're the one pushing us away from each other."
"I don't want to fail everyone, the people under my care. And... the price we might have to pay. Death as a price is not unlike my kind to act out... I don't want to see you dead Ines. I don't want to see neither of us dead."
My laugh comes out almost evil sounding void of emotion, "After this Jerias? You're already dead to me."
His eyes flash with something new. Something hurtful and dark, and I immediately regret the words I'd just uttered out just as quickly as I had said them, I open my mouth again to apologize, to tell him the truth, that I in fact already feel as if I'm dying with out him. But tears fall instead and I look down watching the drops of tears hit the carpeted floor on the ground. I spin around as I try to quiet the sniffles, but they only worsen and hiccups arrive, joining with the tears.
"I'm so sorry Ines," Jerias whispers as he pulls up near me, his hand barely brushing my arms before I pull away.
"Don't... don't touch me." I walk over to the wall heaving, and sinking to the ground as the world blurs through my tears, and I feel his arms surround my body with unwanted warmth, only reminding me how painful everything will be when he crushes the last string of hope we had. There will be no more back and forth. No more chances to hold him and or for him to hold me. This was it, this was his decision. I will only be his Amaranthine, nothing more, and nothing less. Jerias had made his choice.
Leaning into him I breath in and out slowly, trying to calm myself, but it does very little for me. It isn't until I hear one heart beat, that I begin to calm. For it was only one heart beat, when there were the two of us here... Except it wasn't one heartbeat, but two beating in unison. Jerias and my own.
I lift my head and look at him wistfully and then I look back down at his chest, placing my hand over it gently, "Our hearts beat in one Jerias." I pause as if to let the words sink into him, "Our hearts beat as one but you still keep us apart. It's like... like... every time you thicken the wall between us... it gets a little harder to breath."
His face falls and a look of him breaking inside become evident in his features, "Come," he takes my hand lifting me up off the floor, the knock at the door comes again, "Don't... Don't cry." He whispers.
"What happens to us then Jerias? Huh? After everything... we live together for god sake. Do we just pretend to be strangers all over again?"
"If that's what will help." He words are quiet and timid but I can tell by the look in his eyes that he means them.
I nod and look down sniffling as I wipe my cheek, "Okay."
His hand strokes my arm soothingly and I look back up with one quiet request, "Close your eyes for me. Please..."
He stares at me a moment but doesn't protest, his thick lids fall to a shut and his long lashes cast a shadow over his cheeks. I breath in taking in his handsome serene face, I lift my hands over his chest. Closing my eyes as I take it the large and strong shape of him. His shoulders broad length, hard with muscle, his arms promising with security in its vital strength, his neck thick and soft. But his lips even kinder in texture, even better against my own. Gently coaxing to him, I kiss him all while holding my breath in fear and sadness. My body beginning to fill up with a contaminating melancholy and emptiness that I knew to be far too near. And as I kissed him I kept repeating to myself a little longer, a little longer. Cause I knew when I pulled away, it would be the last time we would ever touch. The last time the warmth of his hands would brush across my skin, the strength of his arms would pull me close to him like he was afraid to lose me. The last time he'll convey the slightest bit of himself to me.
So with tears falling down my face like a quiet calm river I allowed myself to slip into him. Our emotions to seep together like restless waves. Until they didn't anymore. And then there was only the wall left.
I didn't even look at him when we stopped, and I was almost clueless standing there in my despair, very much grateful by the knock on the door, grateful that I didn't need to say something or look up.
If I did... the words that come out my mouth will be ones of truth. A truth that will be entirely denied from now and hereafter.
It's almost unbelievable.
To think this would happen, to think he'd choose this, to think this was what would happen to us. To think I was so close, we were so close. One moment happy in each other's arms, then torn apart by... by- by what? Life? His people? Or is it his choices?
It felt like there was this nothingness consuming me, and the abnormality of it was drowning me with empty pressure... Drowning. All around a deep blue sea. I must've...
sunk to far.
"Ines... I'm sorry."
I step back immediately and I remain staring at the ground. Hoping he won't push forward. Hoping he'll let it go now just once and for all. I don't want to hear sorry. It's not his fault, not really at least. But it's just... it's just that no matter what it still hurts so so bad.
Another knock on the door comes and it's urgent and almost frantic.
"Who is it?" Jerias finally says aloud slightly irritated.
"It's Evans sir."
Jerias sighs heavily stretching his arms as he walks to the door, "Evans," he says in a defeated manner ready to apologize for taking so long , "I'm s-"
"We have the man Jerias." Evans cuts him off and enters the room shutting the door behind him. He turns and eyes me as if he's unsure if she should be telling this to Jerias in front of me.
"The man... Well have him locked up. I'll address him later I'm a little busy now-"
"No," Evens shakes his head raising his hand stop Jerias once again, "You don't understand. He arrived at your doorsteps willingly."
Jerias runs a hand through his hair, "What?"
I only just notice the look of disbelief in Evans face, it was worry mixed with a tinge of fear. Clearly something was terribly wrong. Evans moves closer to Jerias and eyes him shaking his head a bit.
"Jerias. It's your father."
Yaaaass sus, we moving along here 👌🏾
Comment and vote, everyone. Especially you ghost readers 🙄 there's a lot of you lol. Anyway hope you enjoyed.
I'm outtie ✌🏾