A very beautiful and thoughtful poster by @my_salvatore. I'm in love with it!
February 20, present
Melissa
"I'm sorry about before, Melissa." Layla finally said after a long pause. We were sitting in my room, in front of the TV watching 'New Girl''.
"What?" I asked taking my eyes away from the screen to look at my best friend.
"You know, about Matthew. I didn't thought you would have that reaction when you saw him."
I chewed my bottom lip as I remember the child, feeling as guilt slowly consumed me. "I scared him, didn't I? I heard him cry."
She gave me a grin. "Don't worry, just tickle him and you be one of his favorite people."
I smiled. "I want to see him again."
"We can do that later but now," she said suddenly a smirk was laced in her cherry red lips as her body was now fully turned to mine. "I want to know what is going on between you and Blake?"
Blake? Blake.
I could feel my face heating up as I tried to hide it by looking back at the TV as I mumbled. "What are you talking about?"
From the corner of my eye I saw her rolling her eyes as she switched the TV off making me sigh. "I'm talking about the fact that Blake couldn't take his eyes of off you though out the dinner. Seriously, you should have seen him, there was something different."
My eyes snapped to hers. "Different?"
"Yes!" she said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I noticed it while you were completely oblivious to it. It wasn't the look that said 'I want to f*ck you right here and right now' but it was more like, "Layla chewed her lip as she thought about her next words before she spoke. "....it was more like 'I want to kiss you hard and deep until you forget your pain in my embrace' kind of look. Melissa, is there something I don't know?"
Suddenly my vision blurred, seeing the memory of the day I have given him my first kiss. An innocent kiss that was act of anger and jealousy. A kiss he never returned. A kiss that made him look at me in disgust. I was disgusting.
"I kissed him." I found myself blurting out.
"What? When? How?"
I pulled a stand of my hair behind my ear as I shrugged, feeling as sadness broke my heart. "Before that happened. But he didn't respond. He...he didn't like it, Layla. It was a mistake and now I can't even look at him anymore."
"But he wants you to look at him. I can f*cking see it. A blind person can see it for f*ck sake." Layla reasoned with me.
"He told me something," I whispered after a pause. A soft colored blush tingled on my face as I said the exact words Blake had told me, wanting to know what they exactly could mean. "....he told me 'my touch will feel like a feather against your skin'. If only I let him touch me, that is. What do you think he meant?"
"A feather?" Layla grimaced, like a feather was the most ridiculous thing in her crazy world but in mine it sounded almost.....romantic. Layla shook her head before looking at me. "Well, if that was his exact words....it sounds like he doesn't want to touch you as a brother but as.....what is the innocent word now again? Emm.....lover!"
A bolt of excitement increased throughout my body making my blood warm as I whispered. "As in romantic way?"
"F*ck yes!" she yelped, before she smiled sweetly to me. "Melissa, do you realize that he's the only man that has touched you without causing you fear or..."
"I know." I mumbled as recalled a few hours ago when his arms were around my body sending me to a pure heaven where the Demon was unable to enter. I wanted to experience it again. And again. Again. Again.
"How did you feel?" she question me, her green iris boring into mine.
A tingle small smile twisted upon my lips. "I....I....It was different. There was no fear when he touched me instead all I really felt was safety, like he is my guardian angle with his feather wings around me, protecting me and......" loving me. I didn't say the last part out loud instead the words only caressed my mind in the most soft way, telling me to believe the words.
"Do you think you can allow him to be close to you the second time? Third? Fourth? Fuck-"
I pursed my lips. These was no part of me that could deny the want of wanting him around me at every chance I get. Blake did something inside me, he set me in fire. A good kind of fire. He made me feel. After months of seeing blackness, I have finally allowed myself to see the lightness in that darkness. And with every innocent touch, with every pure glance and with every word he spoke, he was slowly making the small lightness to widen. Helping me to grow it bigger and bigger, fighting away the darkness around it until there would be nothing but.....peacefulness.
"Yes," I mumbled, enough for Layla to hear me. I could sense a smile slowly twisting upon her lips. "Whether he sees me as his sister or....something else.....I want him close to me."
I want his feather like wings to wrap themselves around me, bringing me closer into his warm embrace....and show me the pure and true lightness.
***
I sigh and opened my eyes. My attempt to fall asleep for the last half an hour was failing hard. And I knew why. I lifted the cover form my body and stood up, my bare feet meeting the clean floor. Taking my satin robe, I quickly slipped inside of it and tied the knot around my waist, hiding away my nightgown.
With quite and steady feet I exit my room and walked down the quite hallway. Dim light came form the lamps above as it was easier for me to witness where I was going. It was middle of the night and everyone was asleep at this hour.
Expect me.
I couldn't sleep until I asked for forgiveness.
Even if it was to a child.
Finally I was standing outside his door. I could hear my heart beating softly as I slowly and gently opened the door. I saw a lamp giving the room a small dim lightness. My eyes swiped over his beautifully room until my eyes gazed into the crib where he was laying. I smiled a little seeing as he was wide awake, his blanket had moved to the edge of his small feet. He was making small noises like he was talking to himself.
I could still hear his painful cry inside me making my chest clench. The first time he saw me....I made him cry. I made my nephew cry. And it shouldn't be like that. I wanted to make him smile. I wanted to love him just like I wanted him love me. I wanted his forgiveness.
Carefully I walked in and made my way to his crib until I was standing over him. Almost immediately his brown eyes met mine. And this time I didn't freak out. I didn't let the Demon to consume me. Instead I smiled, suddenly seeing what Vanessa was talking about. His eyes were innocent and pure brown. There was no shadow lingering around them. Not like his.
They were beautiful. Just like him.
"Hi Matthew," I softly said as I reached over and caressed his gentle cheek as he looked at me almost in awe. "I'm Melissa."
It took small and quick seconds before his hands went wild with excitement. I chuckled and stroke his small hand, and just like that he gripped my index finger into his tiny hand. I could feel tears starting to prickle on my eyes as I saw the beautiful bond we're creating this right moment.
"I'm sorry for making you cry, Mat." I said, our eyes meeting. "I never meant to hurt you. Can you forgive me?"
"I think he already forgiven you, Mel."
I jumped, as the melody of his voice reached my ears sending a wave of goosebumps though my skin. I straightened up but didn't turn around. He was right behind me. I became immobile as I could practically feel his body heat slowly warming my back. We weren't touching. We were just standing impossibly close that we could feel each other.
My breath quickened. My blood became warm. My heart was hammering so loudly that I was almost afraid he could hear it. He never fails to unravel layers of my body until he ignites every wonderful yet frightening emotions within me.
I swallowed slowly as I felt his heated breath against my neck, fanning it and set it into wild fire. It made my whole body tingle as my eyes snapped shut. A man was standing behind me, close may I add, and yet I wasn't running away. I couldn't run away. I could move one inch of my body.
I realize that I liked the emotions that was slowly rising within me, consuming me.
No, I realize that I loved it.
"Mel....." he whispered in a feather like tone, making small butterflies suddenly spread their wings only to fly crazily around my stomach. My lips parted as I gripped the edge of my satin rope in my fits. We were still not touching. Yet I felt every part of him.
"My Mel, don't let the Demon win. Fight. Fight against him, be a warrior. I know your strength." he continued whispering, making my body sparkle with fireworks.
"I can do that."
It wasn't a question but a statement that I needed for him to hear. I needed to let the words out, because saying my promise I made for myself aloud....I would not only prove for myself that I could move on but also him. If I fail, I wouldn't only disappoint myself but I would also disappoint him. I was letting him inside my small secret bubble and time will tell if our bubble will be filled with happiness and strength or break into nothing.
I let a small smile rest upon my lips, seeing as Matthew was slowly fluttering his eyes close until his body calmed down and he was flying in his own dreams that held nothing but brightness.
Slowly I turned around until I was facing Blake's tall yet hard frame. My eyes darted up to his magnificent brown iris that suddenly took my breath away. I was drawn to them. I always been and always will whether I wanted it or not.
"I can do that." I repeated my words again, letting them wrap themselves around us.
***
So how was it? Any thoughts? Melissa is going to fight against the demon with a LITTLE help from the one and only.......Blake. Who is excited?
I know the chapters are shorter than LLO chapter, but I promise to give as many updates as I can, like three updates in a week? We'll see, yeah?
Please note: This story is not going to be dark, instead it will be romantic *wink*
Until next time (which will be sometimes next week), Vivvi
(Sorry for any mistakes, I will edit the story once it's done.)