"You don't love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear." Oscar Wilde
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Chapter Twenty – Eight
There she sat, a man at her feet, professing his everlasting faithfulness to her. She felt such pride in this man, a man she barely knew for all intents and purposes. The love would come, she was sure of it.
She prayed to God that she would feel like herself again for him. Whoever that was, she hoped that the feeling of Isabella would return.
But for herself, as well. She wanted her memories. She wanted to feel as though her decisions were being made because she was being true to herself.
And for Jamie. Jamie knew his mother, and Jamie loved his mother. Jamie deserved his mother, and she so wanted to be that woman for him.
Luke helped her to pack her few belongings. She really did not have much in the hospital with her. It made her wonder about her possessions in her home. Would she recognise them?
Jamie tried to be helpful as well. He picked up every object he found and put it with her things, even if they did not belong to her. He thought it a funny little game. He would place something on the bed, and she and Luke would remove it and put it in its correct place.
As irritating as it was becoming, she enjoyed the little family dynamic. Mother, father and baby, all together.
She really did not have any fine travelling clothing to wear. She had been living in hospital nightgowns for months. Whatever dress she had been brought to the hospital in had disappeared. She wondered if one of the nurses now had it hanging in their wardrobe.
"Annaliese will lend you something," Luke assured her.
She had sisters to borrow from. What a fine thing.
"In the meantime," Luke said, before abruptly leaving the room.
She frowned. Jamie did not seem to notice as he tossed clean washcloths onto the pile. She immediately refolded them ready to be put away.
Luke returned a few moments later carrying a large, brown overcoat. Luke placed his arms around her and helped her into the thick coat.
It was such a comforting feeling, to be enveloped in not only Luke's arms, but his clothing as well. She enjoyed the scent. It was very masculine. She could smell hints of musk and pine, as well as the faint scent of smoke from resting near the fire.
The coat was enormous on her, but it hid the fact that she was wearing only a nightgown.
She did not have shoes or stockings either. Those seemed to have gone walkabout as well. Luke offered her his only pair of boots, but she refused. Jamie's shoes would have fit her better than Luke's, and it would have been easier for him to carry her to the carriage than the other way around.
Within half an hour, the room that had been her home for however many months was empty of her things.
A carriage had been sent for to collect them, and was waiting for them outside the hospital.
She made sure to thank Doctor Whitney before she left. The man had drilled into her brain to save her life. No matter the repercussions, she would not have been alive today were it not for him.
"How can I ever thank you, Doctor Whitney?" she asked.
Doctor Whitney simply smiled and said, "By living, Mrs Cassidy. I take joy in knowing I had a hand in that."
"More than a hand," insisted Luke, as he offered Doctor Whitney his hand. The gentlemen shook hands firmly. "We are forever in your debt."
As soon as they crossed the threshold of the hospital and stepped out onto the street, she felt the crisp, spring breeze wash over her face. The sun, how she had missed the sun! No sooner had she appreciated the pleasant weather, the ground beneath her disappeared.
Luke scooped her up into his arms and carried her across the footpath to the waiting carriage. "Are you following Jamie?" called out Luke.
"Yes, Papa!" replied Jamie as he trotted along beside them.
"We cannot have Mama cutting her feet on any pebbles or rocks, can we?"
She smiled and let her head fall back as she was carried. This was simple. She was positive that it would not always be this way. Everything could not always be simple. But it was at the moment.
Luke was choosing this for his family, over a life of vengeance and hatred.
She was certain that the memory of Mary would resurface now and again. How could she not? Mary had made a significant and possibly irreversible impact on their lives.
But Mary would not be a permanent ghost in their lives. Mary would not haunt them. Luke had chosen his family, her, over his hatred of Mary. Love would always win. It was so much more rewarding.
Somehow Luke managed to get her into the carriage without allowing her feet to touch the footpath. She settled into the padded, velvet seat as Luke lifted Jamie up as well.
She rolled the sleeves of Luke's overcoat up so that her hands were free just as Jamie scrambled to climb onto her lap. She liked that Luke chose to sit next to her. She wondered if this was something that Isabella was used to. She hoped it was. It was a nice feeling to be surrounded by men who loved her.
"Are you happy to be leaving?" Luke murmured as the carriage pulled away.
"A little nervous," she replied. She was heading towards the unknown.
"Be sure to tell me if it becomes too overwhelming for you," he said sincerely. "There are four dozen people that live in my brother's house, and all of them know and adore you," he flattered her. "Not to mention my own barmy mother. But I have no qualms with telling them to bugger off if you want me to."
She laughed lightly.
"I have missed that sound."
She looked up and met his blue eyes and saw the utter sincerity in them. The intensity she saw there was oddly comforting. "What makes your mother barmy?" she asked softly.
He grinned. "Mothers are always a little bit barmy," he winked and nudged her playfully. She could not help but smile bashfully. "But mine is a special case," he joked. "No, I am being cruel. My mother loves us all fiercely. I was always her favourite, though. I think she felt sorry for me as a child."
"Why?" she asked curiously.
"I was the second son, I suppose." Luke shrugged. "Matthew's life was already set. He was to inherit from our father. My mother worried about me, about my future, and so she babied me. Naturally, as a growing boy, I rebelled. I did some shocking things. Pulled some horrible tricks. I think that was a behaviour trait that William got from me." He chuckled.
William? William ... nephew, she remembered. Luke had mentioned his name earlier.
She then wondered if Jamie would rebel as Luke had done. Did Isabella baby Jamie? He was her only child. And already she felt such immense protectiveness. Perhaps she did. But she did not want her son to rebel against her.
"But my mother always made it her business to take special care of me. She knew as soon as my father died that I would be left with nothing. I attended the finest schools in England, just as my brother did. I never paid attention, and the tutelage was wasted on me. I truly regret it now." Luke sighed as he rested his head back on the padded wall of the carriage.
She watched him with curiosity, willing him to continue. She was enjoying this normal conversation between husband and wife.
"We will make sure that Jamie takes advantage of his education. To be educated is a privilege, and it is one that is not afforded to many."
She heartily agreed. She could not remember if she was educated, but she could read and write. She could not remember if she was well read or clever at things, and she honestly would be quite saddened to find out if she were not so.
"I think Mother had her heart set on the clergy for me. Either that or the law."
"She does not approve of the navy?" she asked.
"Oh, she does. Just not the idea of me in it," he joked. "And her fears did come to fruition eventually. Though coming home blind is better than not coming home at all." He smiled slightly. "I will never forget the day my father announced I was to join the navy."
"It was not your choice?"
Luke shook his head. "I was eighteen years old. My idea of an enjoyable time was expensive liquor and gambling. My father would not have it. Matthew was the good son. Always in my father's study with him, learning. He got married and settled young, too. I was on the road to destruction."
She could not imagine the man who sat beside her as a self-destructive youth. He seemed so worldly, with only the slightest hint of playfulness. Though, she supposed, much had happened to dampen his spirits. She wondered if she would ever see the reckless, dangerous side to him.
"He announced that he had purchased me a commission in the navy and I was to start training immediately. Now, you must understand that my parents never had a particularly loving marriage. It was a society match really. They were friends ... I think. But these two people, who I had barely seen converse more than pleasantries at dinner, had the loudest quarrel ever to shake the walls of Cassidy House." Luke chuckled. "My mother screamed. My father had betrayed her. He had disgusted her. He had all but sent their son to his death. They did not speak for months."
She did not know what to say. Luke's mother sounded as though she loved her children fiercely. It warranted respect. It made her wonder if she approved of Isabella as a wife for her favourite son.
"I never saw my father again. He died while I was at sea."
"Oh, I am sorry," she whispered sympathetically.
Luke smiled down at her. "I am not. I love my father very dearly for what he did for me. He made a choice for me, one that I did not appreciate at the time, but I now know he did it because he loved me, no matter how it upset my mother. I hate to think where I might have ended up had I not joined the navy. A gutter somewhere dreadful, no doubt. And you certainly would never have considered me for your husband were I not a dashing naval captain." He winked, eliciting a blush from her.
"I think that your respect for your father tells me a lot about your character," she said, trying to steady her voice.
"I always respected my father. But I did not love him until after his death. I do not want Jamie to feel the same way about me."
Jamie, upon hearing his name, looked up at Luke. Luke immediately smiled with such adoration. It would be nearly impossible for Jamie to feel anything but love for his father.
"Does ... does your mother approve of me?" she asked, fearful of the answer. How could she ever measure up to this woman? She was just a girl ... barely a woman. "There is nothing particularly extraordinary about me."
"On the contrary," Luke said intensely. "You are the definition of extraordinary."
She smiled, and buried her bashful face in Jamie's blond hair. She stole a peek at Luke. "But does she approve? How can I be worthy of her favourite son?"
Luke snaked an arm around her and cuddled her into his side. She did not shy away from the contact, no matter how foreign the sensation. "She wanted me to marry. She wanted me to love someone enough to be careful while I was away. You, my darling, are her every answered prayer." He pressed his lips into her hair. "She might even love you more than me now," he added teasingly.
She could not help but laugh at that.
Isabella must have been extraordinary, she decided. She only hoped that she could live up to what Isabella had left behind
Royal Crescent was one of the loveliest buildings she had ever seen. Aside from the hospital, though, it was the only building that she had ever seen. The beautiful houses were all connected to form a "U" shape along the street. Although identical, as the carriage travelled past each house, they seemed to appear grander and grander.
The people entering and exiting the houses, and walking along the street, were dressed exquisitely. She had never seen such finery. Not one person was out and about without their waist cinched and their hair perfectly coiffed. She suddenly felt very underdressed. The boniness of her hands reminded her just how gaunt she was. She suddenly felt very ugly, too.
The carriage came to a stop outside one of the fine houses somewhere in the middle of the "U". One had to be very rich to stay there, what with how fine everything was. It had not occurred to her that the Cassidys were wealthy. She certainly did not look like any one of the rich wives that were prancing alongside their husbands.
She was not even wearing slippers!
"Oh, I cannot go out there," she said worriedly just as a primped and proper trio of ladies marched past the carriage, giggling and jabbering away.
"They are all too preoccupied with themselves to worry about us," Luke assured her. "Besides, who will be looking at you when you are with me?" he teased.
She smirked and nudged him in the ribs. "Very funny."
The door to the house opened a man emerged in fine livery. He was quickly followed by Annaliese, and another blonde woman, a girl really. She presumed it was her other sister, Eleanor. They had not officially met. She could see the resemblance between the three of them.
The carriage door was opened by the servant, and steps were put down so that they could climb out. Luke ushered Jamie out first, and then jumped down himself.
"I did not realise you were coming home today!" cried Annaliese. "We would have ordered a nicer dinner! I feel awful now. I have a terrible craving for mutton and gravy."
She did not mind. Luke held his hand out for her and she carefully placed a bare foot on one of the steps.
"Oh, I should have brought a dress," Annaliese chided herself. "Mine are not going to fit me soon anyway."
She furrowed her eyebrows curiously just as Luke asked, "So it is known, then?"
"You knew?" gasped Eleanor. "I think I am the last to know!"
"I only knew because Annaliese emptied her stomach in my chamber pot," teased Luke. "I thought you were not going to tell anyone for a while."
"Annaliese brought her luncheon back up this afternoon," laughed Eleanor. "She had no choice but to tell us all. I am so excited to be an aunt again!"
"Hush, Eleanor," scolded Annaliese. "You need not use such vulgar language. I was indisposed is all."
Eleanor ignored her. "We have not officially met. I am Eleanor," she introduced herself. "I am your younger sister."
"It is nice to meet you, Eleanor," she said softly.
"My parents are still here," Annaliese quietly complained to Luke.
Luke gave Annaliese a sympathetic look as he lifted her into his arms. Luke, followed by her sisters, carried her into the house. As soon as they were on the cool tile, Luke set her on her feet.
She had never felt such expensive flooring. The smooth marble felt impossibly luxurious underfoot. In fact, the entire foyer was impossibly luxurious. The foyer was a long, rectangular room with black and white marble covering the entire floor. At the end of the foyer was a grand staircase that swept up to the upper floors in both directions. The walls were covered in fine white wallpaper with gold accents, and the furnishings were all mahogany, polished so well that one could see their own reflection.
And there she stood, wearing a hospital nightgown, her husband's enormous overcoat, and nothing on her feet.
"If you are not too tired, Isabella, we shall quit the house tomorrow and go home," Annaliese said, coming to stand beside her. "Now that Matthew knows we are to have another child he is determined to have me resting for the next six months." She rolled her eyes. "I cannot wait for you to meet my children. They love their Aunt Isabella so." Annaliese grabbed a hold of her hand and started to pull her towards the stairs. "I have something upstairs that you can wear. I would wager that you would want out of those hospital garments. Come on, Eleanor," she called over her shoulder.
As soon as she was pulled away from Luke, she began to feel apprehensive. The feeling of safety seemed to leave her, even though she was going with her sisters. She looked over her own shoulder at Luke, who was standing with Jamie, arms folded across his chest, smiling at her. He nodded once, reassuringly.
She returned the gesture and moved forward.
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I hope everyone had a great week!
Nearing the end of this story *cries* but I have a new one up my sleeve which I'm hoping you all will love! I'm so excited about it. It's nothing like I've written before. I've been thinking about this story for a few months now. I usually think of a name I'd like to use and I think up a personality to go with them.
Ever since I saw Rogue One I've had this name in my head and have been dying to use it.
But I still have one more twist for this story before it's over ;)
Have a looooovely weekend!
Xxxxx