Martha had come over for tea with her mother at around noon as she dispensed her upset expectations over Henry, Arthur and Joseph in results of their engagements elsewhere.
"Weeks since we last saw them! Weeks, I cannot bear to see only ladies everywhere I go," Martha complained though I was glad to see ladies rather than Mr. Howard.
"Well we will most likely see them in the Winter Ball," I tried to comfort her.
"The Winter Ball is fifteen days away Alice, it might as well be a lifetime, I will die of boredom if I have to keep sipping on an endless supply of tea without any male companions in sight."
"You will not die, and you will behave until you see Henry, though what you find in him is beyond me."
"Well that may not matter much by the Winter Ball, mama is probably telling yours right now about the proposal I have received from Mr. Dunn," she stunned me with the news.
"You mean the widower near Cynthia's place?"
"Yes, I told you he had been too agreeable towards me."
"Yes but he revulsed you did he not?"
"He does and not because he is a widower for if he were Earl Bridgeston I would not think so hard on it." Martha said of Mr. Howard's appearance in contrast to the older Mr. Dunn, "though the Earl does scare me a little and he does not really get on with many people. Well I guess when everyone is beneath you there is not much need to be pleasant and obliging is there?"
"Probably not."
"Although he was very pleasant to..." Martha began the sentence and I waited confused why she was taking so long to talk.
"To who?"
"Your mother," she said it and I was relieved she did not say me but a little horrified she said my mother.
"Well they must have a lot in common is all," I repeated Joseph's words for lack of anything to say. "But how did your proposal come about?"
"Mr. Dunn sent a calling card this week, and when he showed up for tea he asked for a private audience with me, I thought I would collapse there from shock but no I handled it like a lady."
"So he is in London?"
"Yes and he will stay until I give him an answer."
"And you did not reject him?"
"No, my parents are asking me to consider him, they are afraid this is the only proposal I will ever get and so am I Alice. You know this is not my introduction to society, I have been out long enough unlike you, most girls I came out with are married, some even have children."
"Right yes so why did you not say yes?"
"I am trying to say it, will you help me? I want to be married and it's just with the opportunity here I find myself considering other matters than just being a wife and a mother. I had thought of nothing other than to have my own home to take care of but now I keep finding reasons to not accept him, reasons I never thought of before."
"Of course, I will help in any way I can, but maybe those reasons are valid?" I touched Martha's hand.
"Well just say you will be help me whether I need you to help pick out my wedding design or to help me run away."
"Either way I am here," then Martha and her mother left.
Martha looked composed enough for someone asked in marriage and she was right about everything like the good realist she was. Mr. Dunn was older than Mr. Howard and his looks were not to be admired as for his personality he lacked a joie de vivre which I thought Martha would find unbearable to live with. As she was no fortune hunter the money was little to do with her motivations for entering into marriage unlike Cynthia's family who demanded a title from the chosen husband. Yet she had never been proposed to before and if this was her only chance to secure the future family she honestly desired, was the sacrifice to be endured or not?
On the week previous of the Winter Ball a calling card with the Howard Crest appeared on a plate to mama written to her and she smiled after she was done reading it and went up the stairs with it without ever telling me anything. Though I was curious it was not enough to go through my mother's things to find the card to read and I settled in peace that besides knowing Joseph was still in London, there was no sign of Mr. Howard.
"This is the menu for tonight we will be expecting two guests," Mrs. Trudor gave it to the new cook, the previous one quit because of Mrs. Trudor's overbearance.
"Excuse me, guests?" I asked Mrs. Trudor for mama had not told me anything.
"Yes milady," she huffed and went away so I was forced to go ask mama of it until I saw Edna.
"Edna did you know about the dinner tonight?"
"Yes your mother has already chosen her dress may I help you chose yours?"
"I guess we must," I shook my head and we went up the stairs together and we chose a light pink dress with a bow on the breast and of course the standard white gloves.
"How can I be sure this is the right dress when I do not know who is coming?" I complained to Edna who looked over the inherited jewelry from my grandmother to pair with the dress.
"Well you will look like one of those pink roses and what guest would not want to behold that?" She put up a necklace to my neck with a smile.
"It is probably just Martha and her mother she sent me a card the other day wanting to talk but her mother said she had been out too much, and ladies are not meant to be seen out and about or it makes them less wanted." I repeated what Mrs. Miller had taught though I had been lucky enough to go out unrecognized and back before mother caught me out in the street coming from church.
"Right the other day when Mrs. Miller could not find you and you were out with Miss Martha, she said the same thing about her." Edna had lied for me when I went to see Mr. Howard and that was when I knew Edna was more than a lady's maid she would soon be my confidante.
"Well then I shall be careful to not end up like Martha."
"Yes Milady I believe it is wise," she nodded and I nodded back it was too soon for explanations but it was a mutual understanding of our first secret, and someone who knew your secret yet still treated you with respect was always be worth the friendship.
We got ready to host our first dinner in London waiting in the drawing room reading until our guests arrived.
"Lord Bridgeston and Lord Stanley have arrived ma'am," Mrs. Trudor said to my mother who stood up happily.
"Lord Bridgeston is dining with us?" I asked mother, "why did you not tell me?"
"It was meant as a surprise now stand up to receive our guests," she charged me and the door opened as I choked on the necklace around my neck.
"Mrs. Stewart," Joseph walked in and greeted my mother.
"Lord Stanley," she nodded.
"Lady Alice," Joseph kissed my hand and Mr. Howard stepped through the door observing the gesture.
"Joseph," I nodded knowing my every move was being watched by the one I feared the most.
"Good evening Lord Howard," mother opened her smile to him calling him by what he asked her to last time and my heart shriveled in my chest.
"Mrs. Stewart it is indeed a very good evening when we are in the midst of friends," Mr. Howard replied by kissing my mother's hand who almost blushed.
"You are entirely right sir," mama nodded to him and I could die of the torture to think there was any chance of my mother having any inclination towards Mr. Howard.
"Good evening Lady Alice," Mr. Howard said nodding and looking at me with one of his thick eyebrows arched upwards and his astute smile.
"Good evening Lord Bridgeston," I swallowed my tension of the ill-suited dinner and his surprising distance, he did not kiss my hand only my mother's and yes I cared enough to dislike it.
"I see you are still a great reader," Joseph said commenting on my book face down on the sofa marking the page where I stopped.
"Ah yes I should mark down the page properly before I lose it," I picked the book and put a piece of ribbon to mark the page.
"What is the name of the book?" Mr. Howard asked.
"It's um... The Duchess of Malfi," I responded wondering why he made me say it out loud.
"Really?" Mr. Howard talked looking at my mother first. "I had the first edition of it but I misplaced it about a year ago at my country home. I have desperately sought it out though with not much luck of returning it to my library where it should have never left in the first place."
Mr. Howard ended the short story staring at me as I held the book in my hands, it was then another thought entered my head he loved this, the secret. As long as it was a secret he could keep the upper hand on me, since he had the power to destroy my reputation at any moment, he enjoyed seeing my nerves show through my quiet actions.
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Copyright: All Rights Reserved to A. Sena Gomes.