Kain's eyes glaze over as his mind wonders elsewhere.
His features harden.
His jaw clenches.
His grip on the table increases.
Knuckles white.
Kain's eyes fill with so much sadness it makes my heart hurt.
My hand reaches forward to sooth him, even though I don't know what I'm doing.
My hand barely touched the side of his face when his hand flies up and catches mine.
Kain's eyes focus on me.
Mine focus on his.
His grip loosens around my wrist.
My hand is fully holding his head.
His eyes soften.
His entire body sags as if a weight has been lifted.
"I'm sorry..." I say searching his eyes.
His eyebrows crease with confusion.
"You didn't do anything."
I smile a sad smile.
Oh, but I have...
"I know."
I lie because I'm not one for expressing to much emotion....
You guys know that by now hopefully.
Kain looks even more confused.
"Whatever happened to make you look so sad. I'm apologizing for that. You should never look that sad. You deserve to always be happy..." I say as I drop my hand from his face.
His eyes follow my hand.
Kain looks sort of disappointed when my hand leaves his cheek.
I could have just imagined it.
Right?
I turn away from him and focus on the board.
I can't do this...
I can't let anyone close...
What the hell am I doing?
"Will you come over to my house later?" Kain whispers in my ear.
My body stiffens up.
Last time...
"I promise nothing will happen to you..." Kain says like he needs to justify himself.
I smile on the inside remembering the first time I was in his house.
I turn to see him mere inches away.
His eyes look from my lips back to my eyes.
What?
That didn't just happen did it?
Probably not.
That's twice I have refused to believe the things he does...
"OK..." I whisper and smile a real smile at him.
Kain's face splits into a smile that reaches his ears.
I laugh at how happy he got.
What a goof ball...
FAST FORWARD
The last bell rings and I walk to my locker.
I set all of my things in it easily.
Organized by hour.
I close my locker door and head out through the front doors.
"Hey."
I turn and see Kain leaning against the wall waiting on me.
The lighting accentuating every muscle on his toned body...
"Hey..." I smile at him.
He gets off the wall and walks toward me.
Everything about this man I gorgeous...
Kain deserved better...
"Ready to go..." he asks and takes my binder from my hands.
Is he going to carry it for me?
I can carry it myself...
"You do realize I have arms and can carry my own stuff right?" I ask messing with him.
He laughs.
Kain's laugh makes a small smile rise to my lips...
Everything about this guy just makes me want to be more free around him.
"A pretty girl like you shouldn't have to carry her own stuff. Dumb guys like me carry it for you to impress you..." Kain say matterafactly.
I shake my head and walk along side him.
Dumbass...
Once we reach Kain's truck he opens the door for me.
This is so different from how I'm usually treated at home...
I like it.
"Why thank you kind sir..." I laugh at his quirkiness.
Did I just laugh?
I told you Kain makes the weight lift from my shoulders...
He makes me want to be better than I was before...
"Anything for you malady..." he bows and closes the door behind me.
I smile at Kain as he climbs in his door.
This guy...
"What is there something on my face?" He asks me and flips down the mirror.
A laugh bubbles out of me.
Not at all Kain...
You just make me really happy.
"No you goof..." I look out the window with a smile still present on my face.
He starts his car.
I listen trying to determine the engine...
Sounds diesel...
Like maybe...
It's a Dodge and she has a nice purr so I'm gonna take a guess and say?
"Is this a hemi..." I question waiting to hear the turbo kick in...
"How did you know?" Kain asks shocked.
His eyes show how much he liked fact I know my cars and well I guess trucks...
"My friend and I used to build cars..."
I remember his white hair and his ice cold eyes...
I miss him so much.
"What's his name?" Kain asks sounding kind of angry...
Why is he angry now?
"It was a long time ago and I don't want to talk about it..." I whisper looking out the window avoiding Kain's eyes...
He left me in the night.
I called and called but he never answered...
What I was living with must have finally gotten to him and he just up and left me...
Yet, I still miss his smile and all his stupid jokes...
I haven't gone to our place since he left...
The patch in the woods where we carved out names into the tree and jumped into the pond...
I tried to go back once but it wasn't the same...
It felt wrong being there without him.
There was no one to show me why the place was so special.
Without him it wasn't special anymore.
Now everything we ever did is just a memory...
Memories that will live with me forever because he was the only person to make me smile in so long...
Now I have Kain...
That won't last long though because eventually Kain will get sick of me pushing him away like he did and leave me in the night like he did.
I know Kain will leave and that's why I won't let him in...
"What do you want to listen to?" Kain asks gesturing to the radio.
He steals me away from the thoughts that were slowly drowning me.
"Ummm......." I don't really listen to music that much.
What do I say?
The last song I listened to was released seven years ago...
"Whatever you want to listen to..." I say continuing to look out the window so Kain can't see the out of place look on my face.
I don't know how to express anything properly.
Joey would make fun of me for it all the time...
His name.
It makes my heart twist painfully as all the things we did as kids flashed though my head...
I miss Joey so much and yet I still haven't wanted to go looking for him...
He left me.
I don't need to go looking for someone who left me with a monster...
"Alrighty..." Kain sighs and turns on the radio.
The music that plays through the speakers takes me by surprise.
I was expecting something more masculine.
Something guys who look badass listen to, but instead I got sweat, melodic music.
The song struck a chord with me.
My mom.
She used to play music around the house when I was younger, and this song was one of many she would play.
I remember her dancing, singing and swaying to the music.
She told me that if I ever fell in love to make sure to listen to the music that they like.
The music they like shows you the kind of person they are.
The song continued to play and the tears continued to fall.
I loved my mom more than anything on this earth.
I still love my mom more than anything on this earth.
The song is slowly dragging back memories that slipped from my mind for years...
Everyone leaving my heart a little more broken.
Once the song ended my hands shot up and I wiped the tears that stained my cheeks.
I didn't want Kain to see me so weak...
He as seen me weak to many times already.
Flinching away and then flinching again when he tries to, I guess, tickle me?
I haven't been tickled since...
"Are you OK?" Kain asks worry evident in his voice.
I wipe the remains of the tears in my eyes and turn to Kain.
He just look back at me waiting for my response.
I don't know what to say...
I don't want him to know about my mom, but it seems that I will have to tell him.
"That song just reminded me of someone I used to know..." I say looking at the road infront of me.
Still avoiding the truth.
"Who?" Kain asked carefully.
He didn't want to intrude.
Yet, he still intruded...
"My mom..." I spoke with no emotion.
He inhales stiffly.
I look at Kain with hooded eyes.
He seems to not want to talk about his mother either.
I can't blame the guy because I understand it.
It's painful to talk about someone that is no longer in your life...
"Is your mom..."
"Dead?" I finish his sentence.
Kain looks at me like he is seeing me for the first time.
Strange...
"Yes, she died when I was 15 years old..." I say remembering her smile.
Her perfume.
Her demeanor.
Everything about her.
Everything she ever said to me that shaped me into who I am today...
"I'm sorry..." Kain whispers like he knows exactly how I felt.
No one knows exactly quite how I felt when she died.
"How 'bout you? How's your family?" I ask wanting to know about Kain.
He knows more about me than I think I would like to admit.
"I don't have any family left..." Kain says shrugging his shoulders.
What?
He had to have some family...
"What does that mean?" I ask confused.
Kain looks angry and reluctant to answer.
I suddenly regret asking the question...
I don't want to make him feel hurt.
I never want him to feel anything but happy...
He deserves to be happy.
If he can make someone like me want to be better then he has to be someone special...
"My mom and dad were murdered last year..." Kain whispers looking everywhere but my face.
My heart feels heavy.
I want to go back in time and not ask him that question.
It's to soon for him...
"I am so sorry Kain I..."
What do I say to him?
I've never had to try and comfort someone before.
"Noel it's fine, don't worry about it..." he sighs and pulls into his drive way.
I need to worry about it though Kain...
I made you sad when all you should ever be is happy.
His house it's fucking huge.
Fucking beautiful.
Looks like one a movie star would live in.
Not something someone like me should ever go inside.
I don't want to ruin anything...
"What's wrong?" Kain asks when he notices I haven't gotten out of the truck yet.
What do you mean what's wrong?!?
I'm freakin' out here!
"Your house... it's beautiful..." I gasp dumbstruck.
Kain looks at me like I'm stupid.
Oh yeah...
"You didn't look at it last time?"
Now I feel really stupid
"Well... No..."
Wow if I could see myself I would know I look completely stupid right now...
Kain shakes his head and walks around to my door.
He opens it and sticks his hand behind his back and bows.
I laugh, "Why thank you Kain, you are to kind."
He is such a goober.
Once I am out he closes the door and locks his truck.
Kain opens the door to his house and everything looks familiar.
Probably from the last time he kidnaped me...
Kidding, I'm kidding.
The spiral staircase I crept down before.
The closet I hid in.
The kitchen he was sitting in.
Everything looked the way it had been before.