I awoke the next morning feeling empty. I wasn't quite sure if it was because Negan wasn't lying next to me, or if it was because he was at one point, but I felt incomplete. My bones felt the exhaustion as I pushed myself up in bed, adjusting to the morning light beginning to shine through my window. I could tell by the soft light it was still early, perhaps 6. I could always curl up and go back to sleep for a while, after all I had nothing better to do. But I opted against it.
My reflection in the bathroom mirror was the same as always, minus the bruise, but something about me appeared different. I rubbed my eyes, trying to get a better look of my image. Same old green eyes, same old brown hair, same soft features, but something was very different. Though I couldn't quite put my finger on it.
I washed my face, in hopes to discover this new found difference about me, but no such luck. I let my hair hang loose, the gentle waves running down my back, and pulled on a typical outfit. As I pulled on my jeans from the day before, I noticed the metal hunk weighing down the left pocket. The pocket knife. I had forgotten about it.
I shoved my hand in my pocket, feeling the cool touch of metal against my fingertips. I wasn't sure if the weapon brought me comfort or fear. The fact that I had a weapon in the den of our enemy should give me comfort, but it didn't. I wasn't going to use it on Negan, I couldn't. But I kept it on me anyways.
My boots were heavy against the concrete flooring as I headed down the winding halls, determined to reach the room of who I sought before anyone else did. Was it a good idea to do this? Probably not. Was I going to do it anyways? You betcha!
Three solid knocks on his door was all it took for him to open, a look of fear across his features, but when he noticed it was me he just looked plain annoyed.
"The hell you want?" he asks of me, myself making a face at his rude greeting.
"Good morning to you too" I greet Dwight, who pushes the door open for me to enter.
I entered his room, looking around at the mess of it. I pushed the door shut behind me as he sauntered over to a chair in the corner of the room. Something about Dwight seemed off, agitated, perhaps guilty.
"Did you do it?" I question, getting straight to the point.
"No" snapped Dwight, "But I know that Negan is gonna think I did, no thanks to your little visit."
I sighed, annoyed with his rude ways, "Dwight, if you did it I'm not going to rat you out," I quietly mutter, "I'm happy he's gone."
Dwight snapped towards me, "Well then maybe you're the one who let him out, maybe you should be the one to blame, maybe Negan should come after you."
Dwight was completely on edge, it was hard to believe he wasn't guilty. But maybe he wasn't. Who knew? Sometimes people seemed guilty when they actually weren't.
Back when the group found me, they kidnapped me and held me hostage. Interrogating me about some little girl named Sophia. I hadn't had the pleasure of meeting Carol's daughter, but I could tell by their forward approach, she meant a lot to the group. They found me marching through the woods just days after Sophia had been missing, so it wasn't completely perplexing as to why they thought I might have something to do with her. The point of this being, I was on edge just as Dwight was. I came off as guilty just due to my fear, but I wasn't. I was just confused as to why I was tied to a chair and two guys wouldn't stop asking me about a little blonde girl. I thought they were going to kill me, but luckily I made friends with Carl through the shed wall. He would sit and chat with me about the randomest things, he was just about 11 back then, so any conversation was amusing. When they finally decided to do away with me, Carl wouldn't let them have it. Luckily, Maggie took me under her wing as well and the group agreed to keep me around. From that, they became family.
"Look, you better get going in case Negan stops by because I don't want to deal with-" Dwight is interrupted by a solid, rhythmic knock on the door.
"Shit" he mutters, shooting me a noticeable side eye, the fear wafting off of him.
"If you're not guilty, you're fine" I assure him, being kind no matter how rude he was to me.
"I'm guilty, but it ain't gonna look like it with you here."
Without waiting for a second knock, Dwight reluctantly faced the door, his hand trembling as he reached down to open it. As soon as he twisted it ever so slightly, the whole door burst in. Phil socked Dwight in the face, knocking him to my feet at the blow of the punch. I hopped backwards in fear, watching as the Savior's flooded into the room. Continuously issuing blows onto Dwight, Negan ever so casually leaning on the door frame. Lucille slung over his shoulders, a wicked smirk on his lips.
"Mia, what a surprise sweetcheeks" he comments on my being, but his voice seemed hostile. As if the surprise to find me in here was not at all pleasing.
He continued leaning on the door frame as the "oofs" and cries of pain ring out from Dwight.
"What're ya doin' in here?" Negan asks of me, his eyes falling onto Dwight, then back to me. I could tell their was some jealousy in his tone, but I chose to look past it.
"Just came to ask Dwight if he knew anything about Daryl" I honestly confess, Negan eyeing me suspiciously, "He doesn't."
Negan lowered his eyes, keeping his guard up this moment, "Hmm, and you believe that?"
I nod.
Negan smirks, "It amuses me how you believe everything so easily, my love."
Now it was my turn to lower my gaze, "What the hell does that mean?"
"It means, you don't do any investigating, you fall victim to the simple words of someone" he tells me, "This world is dog-eats-dog, stop pretending it isn't and being such a naive little girl."
The anger bubbled inside of me, why was he being like this? He never treated me like this, he never belittled me. Now he was. And for what? Because I believed Dwight when he said that he wasn't the one who let Daryl go?
"You're a dick" I mumble, his expression remaining the same.
"Maybe so, but I'm a dick that get's shit done," he eyed me, I couldn't read his expression but he sure as hell could tell I wasn't please with his attitude this morning. Without another word, I pushed past him, ignoring the cries from Dwight behind me.
"And where the hell are you going?" Negan calls to me, but for the first time, I ignored him. I knew that ought to have pissed him off, but at this point, I didn't care. I marched down the hall, as far away from him as I could get. Negan hadn't treated me like this before, why was he acting like I was...well like everyone else? He had always treated me with a bit of favoritism, but for some reason he was acting as if I was just another girl today.
Most likely, he had to keep his badass appearance in front of his men. He didn't need them thinking he was falling weak because of a girl, that would make him look bad. But he didn't have to be so rude to me.
Shrugging it off, I headed to the cafeteria to get some breakfast. Already the large room was full of workers, filling up for their long work day. When I entered, a few gave me second glances, as if "That's the Negan girl." Others looked past me as if I was just another worker. I didn't know which one I preferred more.
The kitchen was serving bowls of scrambled eggs with apples this morning, which I graciously took and headed towards a table in the corner. Nobody came to sit with me, which I didn't blame them. They most likely feared they would turn out like Nigel if they did. I didn't want that for anybody.
I quietly people watched as I ate my breakfast, observing all the different types of people sat together. A group of men burst into laughter over some breakfast conversation they were having, some woman knitting as they intensely conversed nearby, a group of kids playing with their food rather than forking it down. Things like this made me forget we were in the apocalypse, it made me feel more human again.
"Uh - excuse me" a soft voice spoke, myself shockingly peering up to find a pretty blonde in front of me.
"Hi?" I greet her, astonished someone was actually speaking to me.
"Can I sit?" she questions, warily checking her surroundings as she asked.
I hesitated, not wanting to get her in trouble. But Negan was quite busy with the Daryl dilemma and she was a female after all. So I nodded.
As soon as she sat, I could tell she had something she needed to talk to me about. It was evident in her eyes. They were gentle and kind, but concerned and curious.
"I'm Eliza" she juts out her hand, myself taking it warily. She meets my eyes with her own, lowering her voice, "I'm Nigel's sister."
As soon as she said it, her facial features all seemed to make sense. Her gentle blue eyes now looking awfully familiar to her brothers, the way her lip curled on the left side and how she furrowed her eyebrows when she smiled - it was like I was looking at Nigel again.
"You look just like him" I softly observe, dropping my fork onto the plate with a loud clink.
She smirks at my words, "Twins."
Of course, their were like mirror images of each other but the other gender. It made complete sense that they were twins.
She let out a shakey sigh, "I know this is quite burdensome of me to ask you, but do you know if he's okay?"
The poor girl, she didn't know how or where her brother was. I didn't know much either, but I believed she was turning to me for reassurance.
I nod, "I believe he's okay, he escaped with Daryl, so he should be alright."
She slumps on her hand, offering a slight smile, "Alright, that's reassuring," she sighs, "I just didn't know if I was just being over concerned or" she sharply inhales, "I just really love him and want him to be okay."
My heart went out to her, this poor girl had lost the only family she had in a matter of days. The odd part being she didn't seem terrified to be without him, she was only concerned for her brothers health and well being. It was enlightening really. To be able to see her brothers face get melted off and still have a positive outlook on his health.
I reached across the table, squeezing her hand with my own. Her face brightening at the encouraging touch.
Lowering my tone, "I know the guy who got them out of here and I know where he took them. They're safe, I promise you" I smile, her face filling with hope at my words.
"Thank you for that" she sighs, "It's just -- he's all I got, ya know? I just wish I actually, truly knew that he was okay. I trust you, I just wish you actually knew."
She wasn't being doubtful, she was only being real. I had no idea what could've occurred to the three of them, maybe they didn't even make it back to the Hilltop. Maybe they got stopped along the way, who knew?
"I'll find out for you" I promise her, not exactly knowing how, but I knew I was going to keep that promise.
Her bright eyes widened in curiosity, "But, how?"
I didn't know how, I didn't know if I even had a chance to find out, but then the gears of my mind began to shift.
"I've got an idea" I whisper, pulling the backpack I had off of the floor and unzipping it. I pulled a small note book out of it, sliding it across to her along with a pen. "If you have anything you want to say to Nigel, write it down."
She gives me a puzzled expression, "What, what're you going to do?"
I shake my head, "I don't know, but it's going to piss Negan off if I do it."
After I parted ways from Eliza, I headed out onto the common grounds. My recent promise still stirring within my mind. There had to be something I could do to get in touch with Nigel, just something. Poor Eliza needed to know he was okay, she deserved that. Though I could make educated guesses based off Daryl's note, I truly didn't know if Nigel was alright.
"Simon!" Negan's loud voice called off in the distance.
I spied his brute figure come around the corner of a van, swinging Lucille around carelessly, "You heading out to The Hilltop?"
I watched as Simon nodded, still hesitant around Negan from the beating he last gave him.
"Good, turn that place upside down. We ain't gonna rest till Daryl is found" Negan assures him, "Now get goin'."
Simon nodded, fearful to question anything Negan had to say.
But wait, Negan said they were heading to The Hilltop? Well that would've been where Daryl and Nigel would've gotten off to....
My eyes fell down to the note I had crumbled in my hand, diverting back up to the van getting ready to head off to where Daryl and Nigel were at.
Do you see where I'm going with this?
"Mia!"
Negan called to me from where he stood down by Simon, raising his arms, "Where've you been all morning darlin'?"
I scoffed, first he treats me like shit and then he calls me "darlin'" I wasn't having that.
"Avoiding you" I admit from the distance I'm at.
He chuckles, eyeing me mischievously and then turns away.
"Now Simon" he begins, wrapping an arm around him and leading him away.
Here was my chance.
I bolted forward from where I stood on the stairs, racing down towards the van.
I would most likely regret this later, but right now it seemed like the only right decision.
I pulled myself up into the back of the van, shuffling behind a couple tall boxes, them being my only cover.
"Alright, now get goin', wasting daylight."
My heart pounded against my chest into only adrenaline, but fear as the engine started. If Negan found out, this would piss him off. I didn't need to do that because Negan was just starting to open up to me. Just beginning to reveal that vulnerable side, but I couldn't focus on that.
I needed to get this note to Nigel, I needed to make sure he was okay, for Eliza.
So off to The Hilltop we went.
AN: hi guys, so sorry for taking so long to update! Life has been crazy right now. But I will update as much as I absolutely can for you guys. Thank you so very much for reading, I love you all! Love, Zan