Aw, yes! I'm so proud to say I finally got out of this stupid funk I've been in! I guess letting your nine year old sister paint your toenails and watching dumb movies tends to have that effect on some people ;)
Anyway, here is a chapter I'm actually pretty dang happy with! It started out rough and I was tempted to delete the whole dumb thing and start over, but I'm very glad I didn't. Let me know what you think!
Big thanks to ShelaMalu, @jesser1234, @JessieG17, @nonabritt2000, @ChattahoocheeAflint, @CowgirlUp_97, and @_Texas_Cowgirl for voting on basically every single chapter! You guys are the reason I try to write even why I don't feel like it.
Anyway, enjoy!
--Lindsey
***
I didn't roll out of bed on Sunday until nearly noon, and even then, I wasn't feeling the best. Though I never threw up, I was good and hungover, which was never a fun ordeal for me or my housemates. That was probably why nobody bothered to wake me up.
Still in my sweats, I wandered down the steps and searched out the coffee maker. There was about half a cup of old coffee that nobody had finished off this morning and I just threw it out to brew a new pot.
I jumped a little when Coda spoke from behind me. "Hey."
Holding a hand to my beating heart, I spun around. "Oh, hey. You scared me."
"Sorry." Coda's stormy blue eyes were apologetic as she cowered on her barstool.
"No, you're fine. I just didn't realize you were in here."
For a while, the only noise was me wrestling with the coffeemaker. Once it was whirring and gurgling, I walked around and plopped down to her left. "How did yesterday go for you?"
She glanced up in surprise as if she didn't expect me to be speaking to her. "It was okay."
"Did you place?"
Coda nodded and I grinned, even though my head ached. "Yeah, first in breakaway."
"Atta girl! I told you you could do it!"
She rolled her eyes. "There were only three girls competing."
"So? You still placed. I didn't, and neither did Dustie."
When the light faded from her expression, a niggling feeling of irritation bubbled up in my stomach.
Coda sighed and traced the mottled pattern of Aunt Callie's countertop. "Blake, why did you have to go and invite Dustie?"
Instead of answering, I just stared at her long and hard with furrowed brows. After about thirty seconds, she crumpled under my gaze.
"I know you told me to give her a chance, but dammit, Blake, I don't want to!"
"Well, you know what, Coda?"
"What?" Her voice was small and her eyes wide. We'd been friends long enough for her to be wary of what I had to say following such an outburst.
"I don't really give a damn if you like her or not. That girl has been through hell just like you, and I'll be damned if I don't give her a fair chance. You didn't come off as very friendly the first day I met you, either, and that didn't stop me from being your friend. Sometimes it's the people that seem the most rude that actually just need a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. I've been that for you and I don't plan on stopping, but Dustie's gonna get the same treatment whether you like it or not."
Coda let out a long, shaky breath and stared down at the countertop. For a minute, I wondered if she was going to storm off and cry, but she didn't.
"You said her dad died?"
"A bull killed him."
"You think that's why she act the way she does?"
I gave a confident nod. Coda continued to trace the varying shades of brown in the counter and draw measured breaths. I waited.
"Does that give her any right to be rude?"
My eyes narrowed as I stared at my best friend for several seconds. As the time drug on, her hard expression began crumbling ever so slightly, but not altogether. For once in her life, Coda was sticking to her guns.
On one hand, I was irritated by that. For the entirety of our friendship, I'd had the ability to bring her to her knees with a single silent gaze. On the other hand, I was proud of the girl. A feeling of satisfaction welled up in my throat, coupled by annoyance at her refusal to back down. It was an uncomfortable combination, to say the least.
When I finally spoke, my voice was low and cool. "I don't know. Did your family situation give you any right to lead Kellan on?"
I expected Coda to recoil in horror, but instead, she leaned easily against the counter. "No, it didn't. And I think I fixed that mistake. What's her excuse?"
Both of my eyebrows shot up. A calm, biting response was the last thing I'd anticipated, but I had to admit, I was impressed.
"You know, if you'd actually have a conversation with her, you'd figure out that she's not actually that evil. She told me yesterday that you still hadn't talked to her."
"She had plenty of chances to strike up a conversation when you disappeared, y'know."
It took everything in me to not explode on my best friend then and there.
Obviously, she had no idea why I'd disappeared yesterday. She didn't have a clue as to how nerve-wracking rodeos were for me. All Coda knew was that my mom expected a good performance. The only thing keeping me from losing my cool was the knowledge that she wasn't saying these things out of malice; only ignorance. For all Coda knew, I could've up and disappeared to go and make out with someone, not to get guilt-drunk.
She doesn't know any better, I whispered to myself, taking a calming breath. There was a lot Coda didn't know about me, and I think that scared her. That was probably why she had so much respect for me.
"Listen, I'm sorry I disappeared yesterday. I had a bad run, and you know I don't handle those well. I wasn't ignoring you, I was just trying to cool down. I'm sorry."
Coda nodded, her eyes looking more gray than blue. I didn't know if it was just me, or if her eyes really did change colors with her moods. "It's okay." She let out a sigh and her shoulders slumped. "I know you hate it when you have a bad run, but it's really not the end of the world. Everybody has an off day once in awhile."
As I nodded, part of me debated telling her everything.
For some reason, I trusted this girl. I had since the very moment I'd met her, and my trust didn't come easy. Then watching her muddle through life, I'd resolved to help her out and try my damndest to fix her and be a person she felt like she could trust.
As I sucked in a deep breath, I made a decision. There was no way Coda was going to trust me fully until she understood how I worked. But a conversation about Dustie was not a good time to tell her my whole pathetic backstory, so I resolved to save the vast majority of it for another day.
"I know that. Sometimes it's just hard to remember when you have so many people counting on you to not fuck up."
As usual, Coda was quiet. Unlike me, she was good at thinking through a response. The only time I ever did that was when I wanted to put my intimidation skills to use.
"I think that's where you're wrong."
"What?" My eyes snapped up to hers.
She took a deep breath and fiddled with her fingers. "I dunno, Blake. I just don't think people really expect you to be that perfect all the time."
A crooked little smile graced one corner of my lips. "Coda, you have no idea. Maybe the people up here aren't pushing me that much, but if you ever had to live with my mom when she's not being a hostess, you'd be singing a totally different song."
Refusing to meet my eyes, she chipped at the coat of blue nail polish on her fingernails. Unlike me, she didn't bite them so they were long and feminine. "Okay."
I sighed and spun the barstool I was sitting on, head tipped back. My hair, which was more out of the braid than in, swung wildly with me. "Ugh. I don't even know how to explain the relationship with my mom except to say she expects too much and I'll never be able to live up to that."
"I'm sorry."
Waving off her apology, I continued to spin. "Not your fault. And anyway, we were talking about Dustie. All I'm saying is you need to start being nice to her because everyone in this world needs a friend and everyone in this world deserves a chance."
Coda sighed in defeat and dropped her head to the counter. "I know," her voice was muffled, "but I just don't like her."
"Well," I slid off my barstool to refill the purple coffee mug in my left hand, "you better start liking her. We're friends so I think you two are gonna start seeing a whole lot more of each other."
"How do I even do that?" She whined, looking pitiful with her cheek on the counter.
"You need to start the conversation. She's new, she's in your territory, and she's not gonna be the one to initiate it. That's your baby."
"Ugh," Coda groaned, dropping her head again.
"Seriously," I slid back onto my barstool, feeling a lot more alive now that I was on cup of coffee number two. "I feel like you're making an effort to leave her out, and that sucks. She feels it, too."
"She does?" Coda stared up at me with blue puppy dog eyes.
"Um, duh. You're about as subtle as a gun."
"Shut up," she grumbled, poking out her lip.
"Coda, if you don't start being nice, I'm gonna have to beat the mean out of you."
"Who're we beating?" Kellan stormed into the kitchen at that moment and grabbed an apple off the counter. "By the way, good morning, drunkie."
I rolled my eyes and ignored him.
"Anyway, who're we beating up?"
"Me," Coda pouted, propping her chin in one hand.
Kellan took a massive bite of the apple and glanced between the two of us, slightly alarmed. "Why?"
I stayed silent and Coda sighed. "Because I'm not being nice enough to Dustie."
"Well, I'm gonna have to side with Blakey on that one," my cousin said, surprising us all. "You haven't been very welcoming and it's awkward for all of us. Plus, I think it hurts her feelings."
"That's what she was just telling me," Coda grumbled, pointing a thumb at me.
"Dustie's actually pretty cool. Give her a chance and you might be surprised." Kellan's blunt statement seemed amplified when he bit off a piece of apple with a resounding crunch.
Coda slumped over again and I patted her on the head. "Just do what we tell you and life won't be so bad."
Taking my cup of coffee, I sauntered out to the back deck. Kellan trailed behind, demolishing his apple with a series of loud bites.
"She took that pretty well, don't you think?"
Staring out at the grazing horses, I nodded. "Yeah, I thought I'd have to make her cry before things got better, and you know I don't like doing that."
"Aw," he drawled, wrapping an arm around my shoulders, "Blakey really does have a heart."
I shrugged him off and glanced up at his hat shaded face. In the afternoon light, I noticed a sunburn across his nose and wondered what he'd been doing all day. "Yeah, I do, but don't tell the whole damn world. It's really hard to keep up my reputation."
"Such a badass," he continued egging me on. I wondered just what had my cousin in such a chipper mood.
"But seriously," he sobered rather suddenly, making me glance up in surprise. "Are you okay? I know yesterday was rough. I mean, you know it's a bad day when we have to carry you up the stairs at the end of the night."
I sighed and stared at my bare feet. The hems of the too-large sweatpants I wore stuck obnoxiously to the wooden deck beneath me. "Yeah, I'm okay."
Kellan placed a large hand on my shoulder. "I know it wasn't exactly the best run, but just know I'm not mad at you for missing. Sometimes things just go that way."
Sentimental talks between the two of us were few and far between, and I usually cherished moments like these. But I'd already done enough heart-to-heart conversing for one weekend. "Yeah, and usually they're your fault."
He grinned down at me before taking the ball cap off his head and smashing it down over my face. "Yeah, yeah, I know. It's actually kinda nice to see you be the one screwing up."
"Yeah, right," I retorted, shoving my shoulder into his ribs. "But thanks for not being all pissed off at me."
"Well," he drawled, taking his hat back, "I figure you've beat yourself up over it enough. I'll let you off the hook, but just this once."