Someone was moaning.
Like, loudly.
I grunted and rolled over, hoping that whoever it was would get the idea and stuff it back in his pants before he woke everyone else up. We were supposed to be on the road all day today, there was no reason to be up early and I wasn't planning on stepping a foot out of bed before I got hungry.
I opened my eyes and flipped onto my back, staring at the ceiling as the moaning continued.
"Quit it" I whisper yelled, whacking on the wood above me.
Still it wasn't stopping. Now that I was listening closer though, it didn't really sound like that kind of moaning. I frowned thoughtfully, swearing that I'd just heard a whimper.
I knocked on the ceiling again, more gently this time, "Oi Haz, that you?"
A low groan was all I got in response, along with the rustling sound of someone moving about in their bed.
I sighed. I was going to have to break my no getting up rule.
I quietly opened the curtains and tossed my duvet into the corner of my bunk, swinging my legs around until my feet hit the floor. Across from me Niall and Liam's curtains were still yanked closed and both of them were dead silent.
It was just beginning to get brighter, the sun creeping up further in the sky and I estimated that it was probably some time around seven. Too bloody early to be up.
I grunted as I got to my feet and pulled open Harry's curtain. The sunlight immediately hit him in the face and his eyes popped open, his body quick to draw away back into the shadows.
"What are you doing...?" He murmured sleepily, trying again to reopen his eyes. His hair was a total mess, which wasn't a surprise considering all the tossing about I'd heard him doing on a minute or so before.
"You were making noises in your sleep or something like that" I explained, narrowing my eyes a bit so that he understood that I was not impressed. Maybe it would've been funny if it wasn't so early in the morning.
Harry opened his mouth to say something but then his lips suddenly locked shut and he swallowed visibly. He squirmed a little in his knotted duvet and his hands started fidgeting, twisting themselves in the sheets and trying to fight their way up to his face.
Maybe he was embarrassed.
"Was it a nightmare? Everyone has bad dreams sometimes H" I tell him, hoping that it would be enough to calm him down a little. I didn't talk like that a lot of the time, the special tone I owned without a trace of sarcasm or playfulness, but even though Harry wasn't a kid anymore he was still the youngest of us all and when it did slip out it tended to be around him.
I was waiting for a reply when suddenly his body heaved forward and his hands rushed to his mouth. I was quick to aid him in getting down from his bunk as he scampered frantically out of bed and rushed the few steps to the bathroom, falling down onto his knees in front of the loo.
I was about to follow him in when he kicked out his leg, successfully slamming the door in my face.
"'M fine Lou, go back to bed" he ordered in a strained, half controlled voice that had me nowhere near convinced that he was as 'fine' as he said he was.
"Are you sure Harry? I don't mind staying with you" I offer, leaning against the closed door.
"I said I'm fine."
Came the choked reply from inside the bathroom. My face twitched and I bit down on my lip. If I really wanted to get in there I easily could, the door locks on its own but it's easy enough to pick with a pair of scissors. I have to stop myself though, because Harry obviously doesn't want my help.
I scuffed my sock on the ground and reluctantly headed back to my bunk, somewhere in the back of my mind knowing full well that I wasn't going to be getting any more sleep.
I messed around a bit on my phone for an hour or so before I heard someone else get up and pad into the kitchen. Harry hadn't returned to the bunks still which meant he was either still in the bathroom or he was out in the main room, pretending that he hadn't just filled the toilet with vomit. Neither thought was reassuring.
Coincidentally I swung my curtain open for the second time the same time Niall did and he rubbed his eye as he grinned at me, "hey."
"Hi" I replied, waving slightly.
"Sleep well?"
"Right up until Harry decided to upchuck" I replied with a wince.
"What? I didn't even hear anything" Niall frowned, swiping his hair up and off his forehead.
"You must've been in a deep sleep then, he was groaning like he'd been shot" I sighed, "hopefully whatever this is, is cleared up by tomorrow because I get the feeling management isn't going to let him out of anything."
Niall snorted, "course they won't."
We headed out to the main room to make ourselves something to eat. Liam was in the shower and Harry was fast asleep on the couch.
"Geez he's white" Niall crept closer to his elongated body, all stretched out on the cushions. I glanced over and sure enough Harry's skin was a sickly pale colour, like he'd taken a dip in a pool of baby powder. His mouth tightly shut and the closer I looked the more reason I found to believe that he wasn't as asleep as he looked. His eyes weren't closed in that relaxed manner a sleeping persons usually are, instead they were all scrunched up and his chest was rising and falling way faster than it would've been if he was asleep.
"Should we call an ambulance?"
Harry's eyes popped open, "No Lou!"
I snorted and rolled my eyes, "Dumbass, you're not that sick. I just wanted to see if you were actually asleep. Apparently not."
A flush of red crossed over Harry's pale skin for a second as he tucked his head away behind his arms. "I'm not in the mood Louis" he grumbled.
Niall plopped down on the edge of the seat, winding his fingers through Harry's hair. Usually Harry liked it, it calmed him down, which I guess was why Niall thought it would be a good idea but this morning Harry just lifted his head and pulled a sour face.
"What was that look for?" Niall asked innocently.
"I just- ugh" Harry shook his head. Niall touched Harry's forehead with his palm and shrugged, "there's no fever brewing in ya at least. That snarky attitude you're hosting probably swallowed it whole."
"Come off it guys, he's unwell" Liam's voice came from behind me. When I turned, he was there with a towel hanging off his waist and a T-shirt with little wet spots covering his chest.
"Thank you Liam..." Harry sighed, shuffling away from Niall's hand. I could tell Niall was trying not to let the offense show on his face, but I caught it anyway.
"Do you want something to eat Mate?" Liam asked as he wondered into the kitchen.
"Eggs?" I replied.
Liam turned to look at me, the amusement glittering in his eyes ruining the glare he was trying to shoot my way, "I wasn't talking to you Tomlinson," he bit his lip, trying not to laugh. I smirked and repeated it, "eggs?"
"Do you feel like eggs Haz?" Liam questioned. Harry groaned and shook his head against his cushion. I noticed the tense grip he had on the couch.
"You sure, having something in your tummy might make it feel better?" Niall prompted kindly. However this time he kept his hands to himself, not wanting to be the victim of Harry's glare all over again.
Harry completely ignored Niall this time. I patted his back as I walked past him and into the kitchen where Liam was retrieving the eggs from the fridge.
***
Three days later we were at a meet and greet and I was quickly using the bathroom. There were so many people outside waiting, and I felt terrible for making them wait like I was but really it was the organisers fault for leaving such big glasses of water on the table. I had no doubt that it would be refilled the time I got back and I'd be finding myself with a similar problem within the next hour or so
I was just finishing up when Harry stumbled inside, one hand clutching onto the wall and the other wrapped around his middle protectively. I watched with a frown as he stumbled along the wall.
"Harry?"
I hadn't even realised that his name had come out of my mouth until he jumped in shock and looked up, meeting my eyes. He instantly straightened up and forced a smile, his teeth biting down hard on the insides of his cheeks.
"Hey Lou" he said in what I think was supposed to be a cheery manner. Honestly though, it needed work because I could've sworn he was about to cry.
"You good?" I zipped up and moved carefully over to the basin to wash my hands.
"Hm, you know, just gotta do my business..." he replied awkwardly. He was waiting for me to leave.
I wasn't stupid, he definitely came in here to be sick. There was that day that he threw up a couple of times on the bus but I hadn't seen him be sick since then, and I hadn't noticed him looking unwell either. He had been acting stranger than usual though, frequent bathroom breaks, oddness around food. It hadn't gone unnoticed by the rest of us.
Apparently he was still getting over this stomach flu or whatever it was and just wasn't letting anyone know. I knew exactly how hiding sickness usually went for us, and I knew that it was never good.
I was watching Harry in the mirror closely when he suddenly froze. I was halfway over to him when his knees buckled and he fell down before throwing up all over the floor with a cry of pain. I gasped in shock and floundered for a few seconds unsure of what to do. He hadn't wanted me anywhere near him last time, so what would happen if I tried again now?
Harry gasped and vomited again, half digested food spewing out of him projectile style as he coughed and choked. I took a breath and sat down beside him, locking my arm around his waist so that he wouldn't slip from his kneeling position. Thankfully he didn't try to wriggle out of my grasp like I expected him to, and instead he let his head drop onto my shoulder, breathing heavily and sporadically. I leaned over as far as I could to swipe a couple of hand towels from the disposal machine and then I help him clean up his mouth and hands as he got his breath back.
"You should've said you were still sick..." I murmured, holding his curls out of his face so the cool air could reach his forehead.
"O-only f-feel it sometimes" he stuttered in reply, holding his stomach and closing his eyes.
"Yeah, but if we'd hung back today this wouldn't have happened" I sighed sympathetically, trying not to look too hard at the mess he'd made all over the bathroom floor.
Harry groaned and tried to lock his knees underneath himself so that he could get to his feet. He was shaking a fair bit, and there was a reasonable amount of extra weight on my shoulders as I stood with him. It meant that he'd definitely thrown up more than three times in the past three days. He wouldn't be so weak otherwise.
He staggered against my side over to the sink and I helped his wash the sweat from his face.
"Mmm, okay, I'm r-ready to go back" Harry swallowed with a wince. His throat must've been raw from the stomach acid.
I raised an eyebrow.
"Go back to the bus?"
"To the m-meet and greet" he corrected raspily, just like I suspected he would.
I gestured to the puddle of puke on the ground, "don't you think this justifies a break?"
"I'm okay" he shook his head tiredly.
"Listen, I think you should go back to the bus. If you stay, you might get other people sick. Us, the fans" I told him. If I knew him as well as I thought I did, that should be enough to get him to comply. He wouldn't want to hurt anyone.
Sure enough, his shoulders slumped even further and looked down at the floor.
"Come on then, let's get you out of here."
***
I don't know what's wrong with me.
What I do know however, is that my stomach hates me and I hate it. It's been weeks or tortuous concerts, rehearsals, promo, and the nausea that I woke up with that day is still wreaking havoc inside me, fluctuating in various types of strength and making me feel miserable for the majority of each day. Not a day had gone by in the last 16 days where I hadn't been sick at least once. My throat was ruined, the skin raw and painful as I struggled to sing in front of the thousands of people, and ever so slowly my stomach was beginning to worsen.
It was probably because of the lack of care I was giving myself. It really wasn't my fault, most of it came down to management refusing to give me a break but I will admit that some of it is most likely on me. I can't eat much. Once the food is inside me it's usually fine, it even helps a little sometimes, but forcing food into my mouth with the lingering nausea clinging to me at all times is almost impossible. Eight out of ten times I raise food to my face I end up gagging and give up.
Water is another thing that's been a struggle. It makes my throat burn, the whole swallowing thing, and it doesn't sit as well as food does. Usually it comes right back up within the hour and although I know that if I don't drink I'm gonna get dehydrated I can't help but wonder if forcing the liquid down my throat is really worth it.
"Harry, I really wish you'd let us take you into a clinic or something" Liam frowned with worry. I stared at the piece of toast on my lap, swallowing hard to keep the nausea under control. You'd think I'd be used to it by now but no, it still feels as awful as it had in the beginning of all this stupidness.
"We don't have time Li, and I'm sure it'll go away soon" I whispered hoarsely, pushing the plate away and snuggling back up on the couch. I was dead. Or at least pretty close to it. These days I could hardly stay awake for three hours at a time. I was nana napping like I was ninety.
"You said that last week" Louis pointed out, taking the plate away with a long exhale.
"And the week before that" Niall added.
"Third times a charm" I whimpered as my gut swirled sickeningly.
"Do you wanna try a drink instead?" Liam gestured to the glass on the small table by my head. It was mine. It stayed in the same place all the time where I could reach it and no one else was allowed to drink from it in case they got sick too.
I shook my head with a yawn, "no, just wanna sleep."
"Okay" Liam sighed, "well wake you up just before we have to leave for rehearsal. Buckets below you if-"
"Yeah yeah, I know" I grumbled, cutting him off.
Later on Liam woke me up just like he'd promised. He stood very close while I stood, arms twitching by his sides. If he had it his way he'd probably be carrying me in one of those baby backpack things.
I picked up my trusty new best friend, the bucket of joy and fucking happiness, and puke most of the time, and dragged myself off to get changed out of the ratty clothes I was wearing. I felt a bit weird, my legs felt like of jelly like and the thudding in the back of my head warned me of the headache that was on its way.
While I was slowly tugging on my jeans the nausea amplified and I sat down, holding the bucket on my lap. Saliva gathered in my cheeks and Niall sat down beside me, rubbing my back gently.
"Let it out" he encouraged, as if I had any choice. I was thankful for the hand on my back though, I had to admit that it feel good. Apparently not good enough to keep the small amount of water and crackers inside my stomach but still.
The bus jolted to a stop as I was about to remove the bucket and I paused, making sure that I wasn't about to be sick again. Fuck, my tummy hurt.
"You good?" Niall questioned softly. I nodded and stood back up. I grunted in frustration when my shaking hands wouldn't do up the button on the front of my jeans. It too multiple tries but in the end I got it and when I lifted my head the blood all rushed to it and I stumbled slight, grabbing onto the wall behind me to steady myself.
"Harry..." Niall murmured worriedly as his grip on my forearm released when he noticed that I had the majority of my balance go.
"Let just get tonight over w-with" I whimpered.
So, I made it through half the night. The rehearsal went as smoothly as it could've, there were a few mishaps and I spent the majority of it sitting on the stage and struggling to get any lyrics past the ripped skin in my throat.
A couple of vomiting incidents later and a pounding headache later I was all prepped to go on stage. The crowd was already screaming and I already felt worse than awful.
The first two songs I managed to get out a couple of choruses, the rest of the lads keeping a close eye on me. I could feel them all staring, even though they were trying to be sneaky about it. The noise was beginning to make my vision swim though, and dizziness forced me into my bottom right there in the middle of the stage. I took a deep breath and continued singing, forcing a grin as if everything was okay when really I was beginning to think that it was far from it.
Another song and I was sure I was about to be sick. I hoisted myself back upright, my breathing going heavy as I was suddenly feeling very lightheaded. Somebody must've noticed, thankfully, as I definitely did not want to pass out. Especially in front of every one.
I staggered along behind whoever was dragging me backstage, catching a short glimpse of brown hair. It wasn't Niall, and the head was suspiciously high so I I concluded that it was Liam over Louis.
The screaming grew even louder as the audience disappeared from my sight and I was instead crowded by the backstage team. I gagged into my hand and then threw up onto the floor. My eyes locked with Liam's before the staticky blackness crawling into my vision took over completely and I couldn't help but pass out on top of him.
I might've opened my eyes a few times after that, but I couldn't remember a thing from my trip to the hospital.
Right up until woke up is just one big black blank spot.
When I did wake, I was quick to throw up yet again. It was caught in something, even though I'd hardly moved.
"Hey Haz, you remember what happened?"
I hummed and coughed, trying to force my eyes open. They were too tired to get anywhere past a slit.
Had I, fainted?
Probably. There was t really much else of an explanation that made sense. I definitely wasn't still at the concert, that was for sure.
"You passed out backstage, you're in the hospital."
I hummed again before managing to force my eyes open. My friends were all there, standing around awkwardly while a short lady in nurse scrubs moved a white container filled with my puke away.
"Might I just say how amazing you look right now?" Louis said, but I could tell that it was just an attempt to lighten the mood.
I reached up to pull the finger at him only to feel a unfamiliar tugging sensation on the back of my hand. I looked down to see that there was needle in it and my eyes followed the tube all the way up to the bag hanging just to my left.
"You were really dehydrated, that's what you fainted like you did" Niall explained. I glanced up at the bag again. Whatever was inside it was doing miracles. The dizziness had pretty much vanished completely and so had the headache.
"They did a whole bunch of tests while you were out too, asked us heaps of questions. They say you've got a stomach ulcer or something like that" Louis added.
All of this drama over a stomach ulcer. Typical.
"It's not good though Harry, they're trying antibiotics but if it doesn't work you're gonna need surgery" Liam murmured worriedly after seeing the dismissive look on my face.
I swallowed nervously. I quickly remembered how much pain swallowing brought to my throat and winced.
"When we said how long you'd been sick they checked you throat and teeth, said how wrecked your throat is. You're not going to be able to sing for a while" Niall smiled rightly and sympathetically. I groaned, you had to be kidding me.
"It's fine Haz. Management has to give in to a break after this" Liam said reassuringly.
"You reckon?" Louis pulled a doubtful face.
"We just packed up and high tailed it out of the middle of a concert to go to the hospital. If they made us perform they'd look look awful people" Liam laughed. At his words a throaty and crackly sound came from my lips and my eyes widened. I was never laughing again.
Niall snorted, "cute laugh H."
I felt the heat rise to my face.
The antibiotics kicked in properly within the next few days thankfully and the vomiting lessened a little bit. The doctors said that since the drugs were working, surgery was most likely off the list and I couldn't have been more relieved. The thought of having someone cut into my insides just wasn't pleasant at all.
The day when I managed to get through the whole day without getting sick once felt like Christmas or something. It felt like it had been forever since I'd actually had a good day and I couldn't have been more pleased. My throat was still kind of ruined, so I had to wait another week or so until I could get back to properly performing but finally things were looking up and I couldn't wait to get things back into rapid fire.
The only thing I was kind of annoyed about was how I'd been so stubborn about going to a clinic. Of I'd started taking medicine for this before I could've been better weeks ago but instead this whole scenario happened and it could've been completely avoided if I'd just listened to Liam.
Next time, Liam knows best.
There you go! Been chatting to the person who requested this quite a bit and I'm super happy to get it up for her, she was super excited! It was a bit of a struggle towards the end, 1000 words got deleted so I rewrote them plus another thousand on my laptop and then when I went back to my iPad the 1000 words that got deleted were back and the two thousand I'd just written were gone! But it's okay, I got there in the end :)
Hopefully you enjoyed it:)