Zayn doesn't know if he should consider this day peaceful, but there's on one bothering him, no one acknowledging him if he's being honest, and he wonders if this how Harry used to feel when he was in Germany.
Neglected.
The girls chatter and laughs don't soothe his mood, and it doesn't help at all when all they talk about is none of his interests.
"I mean, what's the difference if she's a virgin or not? I don't understand men sometimes"
"Well-" Zayn starts and Elma holds a finger up.
"Did we ask for your opinion?"
"You asked-"
"We don't need a man's opinion" Giselle rolls her eyes and Zayn sighs, leaning back again on the soft pillows, and picking up an apple. At least his appetite is still present. He sees the girls standing up and he just looks at them, mouth busy chewing.
"We'll take a walk around, wanna join us?" Hylda asks.
"To hop around and pick some roses while we talk about dresses and handsome men?" Zayn smiles sweetly and bats his lashes, "No" He sighs again, face returning to its neutral state and the girls shrug and walk away. He closes his eyes and allows the sun's warmth to engulf him.
"Still not going to properly sit like a queen?" Zayn opens his eyes to see Liam smiling at him.
"I am sitting properly like a queen" Liam shakes his head and keeps looking down at him, and Zayn hates it because he has to tilt his head up and squint against the sun. "Why did you leave the castle? Did Harry order me back?"
"No, I just heard you went out alone with your ladies, and ..." He looks around, "You probably need someone by your side. For safety"
"I can hold my own" Zayn rolls his eyes.
"With a sword" Liam continues and Zayn sighs, sitting up slightly.
"You're not even wearing your uniform"
Liam looks down at himself before nodding, "Yeah ..."
Zayn chuckles, "If you're going to join me, I won't mind. I'm actually missing some quality time with my friend. A man"
Liam glances around before he's sitting next to him, "I thought you and Niall are close?"
They are, but he's out with his ladies and he can't leave the castle unwatched. He can't tell Liam that though, so he shrugs.
"Doesn't mean I don't have other friends too" He smiles and Liam returns it. Zayn offers him the basket of fruits before Liam is leaning back more comfortably.
"The life you get is too spoiled. You should at least be thankful for that"
Zayn laughs bitterly, "Spoiled. Sure. I would trade that basket of fruits and those soft pillows for a normal life"
Liam gives him an apologetic smile, "Look at the bright side ... It's a lovely weather today. The fresh air must cool you down a bit"
Zayn shakes his head, "The air in England would never feel fresh to me, Liam. I feel suffocated"
"Maybe because you want it to be like that"
"What does that suppose to mean?"
"It means that maybe you're turning everything black on your own. Try to relax for a moment, Zayn. Maybe this" He motions around him, "Is meant for you to see thing differently?"
"See things differently?" Zayn scoffs.
"We don't mean you harm. Harry means you no harm"
Zayn raises his brows, "He has a hand on my throat, and my country's destiny lays between his hands, and you want me to think differently?!" Liam sighs, staring at him for a moment and Zayn shakes his head, "You're his friend. Of course you'd say that"
Liam sits up and uses a hand to turn Zayn's face towards him, "You're my friend as well. I do not wish to see you hurt in any way. Physically or emotionally. And I'm sorry if I can't do more to help other than offer my friendship in this moment"
Zayn exhales deeply, "I feel so drained, Liam"
"Then relax your mind for a while" Liam smiles at him, his words are soft and his eyes are warm, and Zayn allows it for a moment, allows Liam to take him in his arms as they lay back again and hopes that Liam's steady beating under his head would calm him down. "Do you still feel the air suffocating you?"
"It always will, Liam" He replies quietly and closes his eyes. He also allows himself to enjoy the nature surrounding them. Faint calming noises that he really hopes they reach his mind, and he wonders if this is a normal life, if he can enjoy his moment of peace away from politics just like Harry did, and he taps his fingers lightly on Liam's chest along with the wind's movement over the grass, feeling his mind shut momentarily with Liam's fingers brushing through it gently.
"Interesting" Liam jolts to a sitting position, pushing Zayn to the side and making him snap his eyes open in confusion, and he almost groans out loud when he sees Harry standing with his arms crossed and a glare in his eyes that's mostly directed to Liam.
"Harry-"
"I thought I ordered you to deliver the shipment and be back at the castle afterwards"
Zayn watches as Liam stands up, head bowing, and he fights the urge to stand up too and yell at Harry. All he asked for was a quiet moment.
"I did, and I got informed that I'm free for the rest of the day so I-"
"Leave" Harry interrupts him, "I do not wish to hear your excuses"
Liam bows again, "Yes, your majesty" Then he leaves. Zayn stares after him for a moment before he pops himself up on one elbow, a glare on his eyes as Harry returns his gaze to him. "I should let you know that you could be seen and accused of adultery which would be tough to clean your reputation afterwards"
"Oh please" Zayn rolls his eyes, "Because obviously the rumors of you sleeping with nearly two girls a day didn't already ruin what's left of my reputation. Add that to me being locked in the tower and the rumors following" He gives him a too sweet smile, "Don't lecture me"
"I'm the king. I'm allowed to do whatever I please" Zayn glares at him again. He doesn't have to remind him of that. But Zayn isn't giving him the satisfaction of even bowing to him in respect. He keeps his position, half laid down as he picks the basket of fruits again and ignores Harry.
"Suit yourself" He mumbles as he grabs a bunch of grapes.
Harry definitely doesn't let the thought of him being there instead of Liam invade his mind. He still doesn't know the reason Zayn only trusts Liam and treats him as a close friend no matter what he did. And he also doesn't let his gaze linger too much on Zayn in his silky dress. But he sits next to him, adjusting the pillows so he can lay down as well and watches as Zayn pauses for a second.
"Your presence is the most annoying, my king" Zayn turns to him again with that too sweet smile but Harry doesn't comment on how fake it looks on Zayn, but he's closer as he leans back on one elbow, his other hand tapping over the pillow in an annoyed manner.
"That's disrespectful"
"We agreed for me to be honest and tell you what's on my mind"
"Great, then I'll be staying for some more time" Harry smiles too to match Zayn's own until Zayn isn't smiling anymore and he sits up annoyed. "We're invited to a party"
"We?"
"Yes"
"A party?"
"Yes" Harry repeats and Zayn narrows his eyes at him. "Lady Eve would be too pleased to finally meet you, and I cannot decline her invitation. Think of it as a fun night"
"Fun night?"
"Are you deaf?"
"You're expecting me to go to a 'party' while the French are invading my country as we speak?!"
Harry sits up, "Lady Eve's party is not an ordinary party. Almost every noble will be there alongside with guests from different countries"
"And I should care because?"
"Because you need gold for an army. Charm your way into the party and convince the nobles that you need it, and you have your army" He stands up and that shuts Zayn up. "I won't be going with you. Your ladies would explain more about the party to you" He offers another smile before he's leaving.
Zayn stares after him until he hears noises from behind him and he turns to see Niall. He frowns.
"I thought I asked you to-"
"A letter from you mother arrived"
Zayn quickly stands up and retrieves the letter from Niall, taking some time to decode it. He looks back at Niall with his eyes wide.
"The French are pressing more forces to calm the revolution, and my people are dying. The residence is falling down. If we didn't move before winter, Germany will turn into a French colony!" He needs that army. He'll go to that fucking party. He'll get that gold.
His ladies return, smiles on their faces that fall when they notice his face.
"Ladies! We're going to Lady Eve's party!" He announces and the girls share a look before they're jumping and screaming and Zayn shares a look of confusion with Niall.
"Do you know what kind of party Lady Eve throws? Oh my god! I always wanted to go!" Giselle gushes.
"Imagine all those handsome men with positions around you! If we're lucky we might win a suitor!" Elma continues.
"I even heard that she's inviting Prince of Algeria who is single, handsome, and very rich!"
"I also heard some rumors saying that the prince of Portugal is attending! Poor guy, said that he lost his father a couple of months ago and now he's next on the throne. He's looking for a bride to secure his reign but I heard he's quite reckless. Some even say he's not suitable to rule but the queen's connections are really paying off"
"Portugal?" Zayn interrupts and they look at him, "Isn't he a brother to the king of Ukraine?"
"I guess?"
"That's it!" Zayn ushers them to get closer, "Portugal has a very good relationship with Spain and Italy and the roads are always open for them. Ukraine is at peace within its own region but both brothers are easy to trick. I have some interesting information about both from Harry's records. They both have an army ready to fight, and if we manage to get their approval, we get an army!"
Elma furrows her brows, "And how are you planning to make an offer? We literally have nothing"
"The prince is looking for a bride. No, soon to be king is looking for a bride"
"Have you forgotten that you're married?" Giselle reminds him.
"I am. But you're not"
They look at each other, "You're asking us to marry for political reasons?"
Zayn raises his brows, "I was turned into a girl and forced into marrying another man for political reasons! I have a constant target on my back and have suffered for every one of you! I'm paying my debt for my country and you're not ready to marry a king for yours?!"
"You're asking us to work behind Harry's back!" Alyson whisper shouts, "He already threatened you!"
"I do not trust the English. Besides, I'll be there to do what he asked, that's all he needs to know. I'm not involved. If someone happens to be charmed by one of my ladies then I cannot force love apart" He smiles.
"Love" Elma mumbles.
"Yes" He says sternly, "He's going to fall in love with one of you. I expect a marriage proposal to reach me after the party. And you're going to work very hard for it" He looks at each one of them, "Or I swear I'll interfere myself" He warns and leaves them with furrowed brows and parted mouths.
🌟
"It's a masquerade, that's why Harry is to arrive first. Neither of you sees the other" Zayn furrows his brows as Hylda adjusts his mask, "At the end of the night, if the lovers are able to find one another, the prize is a kiss"
Zayn turns and he doesn't even smile, "Perfect"
"Oh come on, Harry already knows who you are. It's not like you're even lovers to begin with"
"How are we supposed to find the king when they're all wearing masks?" Elma asks. But what runs into Zayn's mind is another thing. How is he supposed to know who is he approaching to gather funds if they're all wearing masks? Damn it. Harry knew it'd be tough. He is not planning to give him an army at all, and Zayn is right with acting on his own.
"We'll meet every hour to exchange information. It reduces the circle we're working on"
Their cart stops and he takes a deep breath as the door opens. He descends first and his ladies follow. The guards lead them towards the gate and there's a lady standing there that smiles when they approach.
"You must be Lady Eve. Very pleased to meet you"
"My my" She drags her gaze over him slowly, "Now I see why everyone has been talking about you, your majesty" She smiles, "I'm not sure my guests will not be able to handle you without a mask" She winks and Zayn has to smile.
"Flattered"
"It's a beautiful night, my dear. Please, enjoy your time" She offers a hand while four other women appear to accompany each of his ladies. "Do not worry, I realize it's your first time, but my rules are very simple" She assures him and Zayn has to watch his ladies being led to a different route in what appears to be a maze, "For tonight. You're a free lady" Zayn furrows his brows, "Behind that mask nobody knows you, my darling. My goal is always providing my guests with the best service" She steps back when they reach an opening, "It's only fair to have your share of fun" She smirks and it clicks in Zayn's mind. Fun. Oh.
"Thank you, Lady Eve" She bows her head slightly before she's walking away and Zayn walks a few steps until he's out and his eyes widen.
The place is huge. The guests are too many, and Zayn doesn't know how they're going to get to the Portuguese king before the night is over. He is not even sure if he will see his ladies in this place. What a party.
"You seem lost, my beautiful lady" Zayn turns to his side, there's a man that he's unable to identify neither his looks with a mask or his voice and he smiles politely.
"It's my first time, honestly. I'm a bit ... Shocked"
The man chuckles and offers a hand that Zayn doesn't find a harm in taking. Maybe he can show him around, "Well, allow me to be your guide then" A servant passes them with drinks and he gladly takes one. God knows he needs to calm his nerves for tonight. They stop as they do and he turns towards the man, "Lady Eve always brings the best wine" He raises his glass and so does Zayn, "Also offers the best food" Zayn smiles despite the fact that he is ready to puke if he was offered food.
"I offer my sincerest gratitude for taking your precious time, lord ..."
"Well, I cannot possible offer my name" The man smiles. "It ruins the whole mood of the party"
"And I cannot possibly remember a face I haven't seen, considering I'll be seeing plenty tonight. It might be my first time at Lady Eve's party, but certainly not my first party, my lord" Zayn replies smoothly.
The man laughs, "I doubt there will be a face to remember even if you have a name to link to"
"You seem to underestimate my memory"
"Forgive me. But I'm willing to take this risk instead of being unwelcomed at court"
Zayn cocks a brow, "For someone to be invited here, I doubt you will be. You surely have a high rank among people"
"No rank can defy the king, your majesty" Zayn stills. How did he know? "I don't think I could forget your beautiful eyes. Even behind a mask tonight, you're still able to catch everyone's breath away"
A pretty thing. Zayn hates it.
But he smiles nonetheless, "The king might have a sword dragged over my neck but he certainly does not own my heart" He raises his glass, "And certainly not my mind"
The man raises his glass as well, "That's a dangerous thing to say, your highness"
"I tend to love danger" Zayn finishes his glass, "Enjoy your night, my lord" He spins on his heels, but before he gets to make a step forward, the man calls after him.
"Lord Rodger. At your service" Zayn turns again to see the man bowing, "I guess stealing a little more of your precious time to see your beautiful eyes would be enough"
How romantic. How disgusting.
"That's a dangerous thing to say, my lord" But Zayn knows him, perhaps not his face but certainly his reputation. Owning a vast amount of lands across England and even managing to have a hand on some in Scotland. He is someone that Zayn can count on to supply them, and he can't let go of that. "But unfortunately my time is limited, and I would hate to leave but the schedule of a queen is very busy as you might have heard. Our minds are never resting to take care of a country's affairs"
"Well, perhaps I can offer to relieve some of the tension tonight" The man steps closer and Zayn has to smile even though he's disgusted by the approach. He's never getting used to men approaching him with hungry eyes.
"My tension is physically irremovable"
"You sure make men descend to their knees by your heavy requests"
"I never request, my lord. The do it willingly"
The man nods slowly, "And what am I willing to do for you, your majesty?"
Zayn smiles again, tilting his head slightly to the side, "I have already told you. I do not request" He turns to leave again, "But perhaps you can see more of my eyes at another time. I was told they look different in the daylight" And as he walks away, he can't believe he had just said that. He needs another drink. But at least Lord Rodger knows his requests by now. Zayn is expecting him at court in a couple of days.
"It's hard to see other things in daylight"
Spoke too soon.
Zayn inhales deeply and stills, watching as Lord Rodger comes to stand in front of him, and Zayn doesn't do anything more than stare up at him for a moment.
"There are many things a queen cannot show"
"Lady Eve planned this night especially for fun. For tonight, your majesty, you can be whoever you want to be"
"If I'm capable of being another, I won't be standing in front of you right now" Zayn replies quietly and he wonders for a moment if he could have joined as Zayn. Behind his mask, nobody would recognize him, and he could cover his eyes entirely if they show him that much. But of course Harry won't allow him to. Because 'fun' isn't in Zayn's dictionary anymore.
"I'm offering something you crave, your majesty"
Zayn cocks an eyebrow, "What I crave is something unobtainable"
"And your pleasure isn't? Rumors are flying very quickly outside the castle walls. Or is it that you're terrified they're true?"
Zayn laughs. He had honestly forgotten what a sexual pleasure is. But he heard the rumors, and he will not allow a noble to drag him down. "When men can't obtain diamonds, they replace them with gold and silver thinking they can even the value by gaining a bigger amount to match them. But my lord, they can never obtain their shine. A Diamond will remain untouchable until there's a hand worth enough to hold it. A hand that doesn't touch Silver or Gold ... Desire is a very dangerous emotion that leads men to their deaths. Uncontrollable. But not everyone allow such desire to reach them"
Lord Rodger stares at him for a moment before he's bowing before him, "Allow me your majesty to admire the beauty of your mind before the beauty of your body"
"If you'll excuse me now"
"But" He starts again, "If such mind isn't interested in the party, then what am I to offer?"
Zayn smiles, "Owning such a vast amount of lands surely provide you a stable income. I can only imagine that your profit after paying the taxes and expenses is decreased by a fair amount. I can only provide you with information that would help you avoid the losses and increase your properties"
"And where's the trick?"
Zayn smiles wider, "We're at a fun party, my lord. You're not the only person who would enjoy my company for the night" He starts walking past him, "We'll be expecting you at court" He doesn't wait for a reply, but he knows now he got one. He hopes Lord Rodger won't follow him anymore.
He sees Lady Eve approaching him again once he's inside the mansion and she smiles widely as she hooks an arm with his own, "Must be an eventful night. Are you having fun, your majesty?"
"Quite. It's a very lovely party" Zayn smiles politely.
She stops and turns to him, "Wouldn't be without your presence"
"Thank you. You're most sweet"
She gives him a nod as a servant reaches them and Zayn takes a glass of wine along with her, seeing the look the servant gives him before she leaves. Zayn doesn't understand.
"Your voice isn't exactly quiet when you're inside a party" Lady Eve replies for him as he turns to look at her again, "You didn't spend more than a couple of minutes inside the mansion and word is already spreading inside as well. It won't be long before it reaches all of my guests"
"Pardon?"
"My darling" She pulls him to a corner, "Rumors spread faster than you think" Zayn still furrows his brows, "The servants heard your conversation with Lord Rodger and you're already turning the tables" She gives him another smile but Zayn still looks at her with confusion. She sighs, "I would say you don't understand me if I didn't already know what you're capable of" Zayn raises his brows because honestly, he has no idea what she's talking about. Or he has, but waits for her to choose between the alternatives he put in his head. "The people now believe that you're the one who rejected the king. That's why he's been sleeping around. Because he could not lay a hand on you. I honestly admire your strength"
"You're not on the king's side?"
"My darling, look around you" She motions with her hand holding the glass, "A man did not build my empire. I did. My husband died and left me with no title and no land. I learned not to give up and so did you. I heard lots of things about you. How you fought your way up till now. And I have to admire you. I admire a strong independent fearless woman. I support you"
He's not a woman, but he's treated like one, so he would take this as a compliment.
"But I am a German queen. Someone that does not own an actual power" He frowns, "I lost my country and ran away. You surely heard of that too"
Lady Eve smiles again, "I do not care about your origin, and I believe you did what you needed to do to survive in a world of men" She finishes her drink and sets the glass down before she's bowing and heading outside. Once she reaches there, she turns again, "You're not going to request, are you, my dear?" Zayn blinks at her, "Strong to the very last moment ... I believe this is a start of a very beautiful friendship. Come on, it's time I introduce you to my guests"
Zayn stares at her for a moment before he's smiling and approaching her.
"I offer my deepest gratitude" Lady Eve smiles again and leads him outside. And if Zayn put his trust in her for tonight, it certainly pays off because she takes him to the nobles, and Zayn maneuvers his way through conversation with each of them until he's got a fair number of nobles ready to fund the crown. Harry shouldn't be able to restrain his side of the deal any longer.
But he can't only rely on that, and he asks Lady Eve about the Portuguese king. He learns that he's inside where some of the guests are enjoying a dance, but before she tells him who he is, she's interrupted by one of her guests. Zayn glances around the dancing couples and they're not too many. He should be able to at least detect an accent, and he allows a man to take him to the center when he offers.
He lets them compliment him, offering a sweet reply in return every time, until there's an arm placed on his stomach, back to whoever is next, and Zayn's eyes still roam around to ensure that he's not missing someone, cancelling those who he recognize as not the Portuguese king. There's a deep voice whispering in his ears.
"You look breathtaking tonight"
Zayn turns his head and furrows his brows, taking the appearance of the man, "Liam?!" But Liam is a guard, he could not be possible invited, "Spying for Harry?" He hisses as Liam turns him but Liam frowns.
"Zayn-"
"Wasn't enough for him to already aim his sword towards my chest, now he's keeping me on a leash?!"
"No-"
"And I thought you were a friend!"
"Zayn" Liam holds him closer, and Zayn is actually annoyed, attention lost, "Harry is a friend of mine too. Lady Eve wouldn't allow guards other than hers in order not to start an unwanted chaos. It's been always peaceful at her parties, and she plans to keep it that way. I do not even think a spy can get inside her party" He sighs, "It's just a once a year event and Harry wanted to apologize for this morning, and I wouldn't miss it"
Zayn exhales as well and closes his eyes for a second before he's nodding. They're brought apart by the next dance move and Zayn was about to actually move away and ask Liam if he saw the Portuguese king, but as he turns, spins, and looks up into the next person's face, it's none other than those green eyes that he could never read, whether they're honest or cold.
Harry's arms wrap around his waist and Zayn's lock behind his neck, and Harry has heard the rumors, and maybe Zayn thinks he is trying to fix his image, but Zayn is close, and when he leans his forehead to Zayn's and closes his eyes the latter doesn't tense and he would take it as a good sign if he didn't know already that Zayn is merely in his arms this moment because he either thinks he can't protest or that he is about to say something. But Harry has learned to deal with it.
"I told your nobles that you're going to reward whoever offers great funds to the crown" Zayn's voice is quiet, and Harry knows it's because he doesn't want to be heard by the others, so he doesn't think much of it. But he kind of wished for it to be different.
Forget about whatever plans you have for a moment!
But he knows that Zayn is waiting for an answer.
"I did not offer such thing"
Zayn still doesn't move away, eyes fixed on Harry's chest, but he can tell that Zayn's eyes are mostly narrowed at him. "It was improvisatory. Do you honestly expect the nobles to pay such a huge amount unless there's something in return?" Now Harry is sure he's glaring by his tone.
"I was expecting for you to consult me first before you offer anything to the nobles"
"Because I would obviously know you behind all those masks!"
"Well, you didn't have any problem finding all the right people to ask. If you wanted to, you would have. Unless you were planning to work behind my back?"
Zayn's lips press together for a moment, "You wanted me to gather funds. My ways of obtaining it was not defined. Blame yourself before you blame me"
"I am the king. I don't have to listen to anyone, and that includes you"
"You made a deal with me" Zayn's voice is low as he pulls back to glare up at him and Harry forces his eyes open, "I finished my part"
"Not yet. I did not receive any funds"
But Zayn knows it's true, and if Harry sees the amount of doubt in his eyes then he should, and Zayn doesn't need his presence anymore, and he's reminded that Harry is not his only option. So he slips his hands away, offers a bow before he's turning and leaving the hall. Harry just blinks after him.
🌟
Zayn blames Harry on losing the Portuguese king –even though he didn't really know who he is– and finds himself seeking some fresh air in a balcony. He sees the people below him chattering and laughing, having fun through the evening, and he hates how he can't be one of them.
"You can be anyone behind that mask tonight. It's what they told you, right?" Zayn turns to his side and sees a man standing inside as well, looking down at the people, "Can you imagine the amount of lies these people speak?"
Yes. He is one of them.
But Zayn shrugs, "Hard to tell"
The man turns to him and Zayn can't even see if he's smiling or not or where his gaze is locked because his mask is completely covering his face and he's seeing through ting holes in the mask that makes Zayn think of why he didn't go after a mask like that from the beginning.
"I have to disagree with that" Zayn raises an eyebrow, "I can't imagine someone like you unable to tell the difference"
You have no idea.
"Someone like me?"
The man walks slowly towards him, and Zayn notices the Golden Celebration rose he's holding. "Not every mask can hide who's behind it, and surely yours doesn't, your majesty" He offers him the rose and Zayn takes it. He still hates how he's so recognizable, and he would hate whoever the person is in front of him right now if he made a single compliment about his appearance. He is not a pretty thing! "Your reputation precedes you" Zayn nods slowly. What sort of reputation? What did he exactly hear about him? Because he'd done lots of things. "If you would allow me to entertain you for tonight" He offers a hand and Zayn offers a smile. There it goes.
"Entertain me?"
"I would hate to leave without a reminder of you" He steps closer again and Zayn steps back. He swears he's about to kill the next person if it's not this man in front of him. He is not a pretty thing! What is wrong with all of these people?!
"I'm married!" Well, it's the first thing that came to his mind.
"To someone who doesn't appreciate what he has"
"Well, I'm certainly not going to allow a shameless person to touch me" He retorts.
"Your majesty, I highly respect you"
"Apparently it doesn't top your desires"
"You're missing on the fun part of the party. If you're afraid anyone would find out, Lady Eve makes sure that whatever happens tonight is locked away forever" He reaches with his hand, but he's so mistaken if he thinks he's some delicate girl that won't resist. Zayn swats his hand away.
"I'll have to remind you that I am queen!" Zayn glares at him, voice stern and loud.
"That doesn't own much power" The man replies and Zayn's eyes go wide. He throws the rose in his face.
"Don't you dare question my power. I am able to hunt you down if I wanted to" He warns in a deep voice, "Disappear from my sight if you do know about my reputation" He pushes him away and walks past him. If Lady Eve didn't approve of blood spilling inside her mansion, he'd be so happy to cut this man into pieces.
🌟
Zayn spots his ladies among the guests and he hurries in his steps to reach them, excusing themselves from the conversation.
"Tell me that you found the Portuguese king"
"We ... did" Alyson replies and Zayn hates how she's speaking.
"And?"
"We tried, I swear!" Elma hurries, eyes wide as he turns to her, "All of us took turns like you requested but ..." She trails off, biting on her bottom lip and looking away.
"But?"
"He said he already has someone in his heart and mind, and that he'd determined to get that person" Giselle replies quietly, and Zayn closes his eyes for a second to take a deep breath.
"How could not four beautiful ladies seduce him?!" He whisper shouts as he reopens his eyes.
"Because love doesn't work that way" Elma answers, "And obviously, not everyone has eyes like yours"
Zayn furrows his brows. He doesn't understand why his eyes would matter when he's a girl more than he ever was a man. He did receive some flattering words before about them, but what's happening now is too much and unreasonable.
"Then we move to plan B"
"What's plan B?" Hylda widens her eyes.
"Using political pressure"
"Deceiving, you mean?"
Zayn gives her a stern look, "Where is he?"
Elma sighs, glancing around until she pulls at his arm and standing closer to him so she can whisper in his ear. "Do you see that man next to the tree? The one wearing the blue mask that's covering his entire face"
Zayn blinks a few times and his lips fall apart. No, no, no, no. Why?! Just why?! He closes his eyes and bury them in his hands. His ladies look at him in concern as he uncovers his face.
"I need a drink"
🌟
Liam finds him with a drink in hand, eyes distant as they look at nothing in particular, and he frowns.
"What's up with the depressed mood? Your look is heartbreaking"
Zayn looks up at him slowly and sighs, "When you're losing, that's the type of looks you get"
Liam shakes his head and sits next to him, "I thought you were finally able to breathe for a moment? You looked different a couple of hours ago"
Yeah. When I thought I had a chance.
But something else catches Zayn's eyes, "Why do lots of people have those roses?"
Liam follows Zayn gaze to land on the different vases filled with roses, "Lady Eve didn't tell you? About the end of the party?" Zayn furrows his brows when Liam looks at him again, "You offer a rose to your lover, and if they accepted, you get a kiss and a night"
"Impressive" He replies in a monochrome tone. "And when this happens we leave, right?"
Liam stares at him for a moment, "Harry didn't tell you?" Great. What's now? "Lady Eve invited you to stay the night"
Zayn sighs deeply, "And this whole ... thing" He motions with his hand around, "Is avoidable?"
"Well ... I mean, if you don't have a lover" He pauses, "Which apparently you don't" He continues in a lower voice and Zayn almost throws the rest of his drink on him. But Liam is right, he can't have a lover.
He picks up his glass again to his lips and glances behind Liam's shoulder. He's not drunk, he can still think properly, but he's fuming from the inside, and if he can't use force then at least he knows how to destroy an opponent in other ways. He smirks, putting his glass away and Liam gives him a confused look when Zayn's gaze shift to him again.
"Do me a favor and follow me" He gets up, offering a hand to Liam that he accepts and furrows his brows when Zayn doesn't let go of his hand. He notices that Zayn is heading for the roses and he stops when Zayn picks one.
"Um, what are we exactly doing?"
Zayn doesn't reply, turns his head and watches as the servants next to the candles start to set them off.
"Follow my lead" He walks to the side, pulling Liam with him until he's backing himself against a wall. The lights go down and he pulls Liam to himself again, picking the rose for a cover. "Don't ..." He whispers slowly, eyes fixed on Liam's wide and confused ones as he rests his hands on his waist, "Close your eyes and trust me" His hand that's not holding the rose traces Liam's neck and he keeps his head tilted for a few more seconds until he hears noises again, and he pulls back, dropping the rose as the servants start to light the room again.
"Do you realize what you just did?" Liam whispers, opening his eyes again, and Zayn glances at his side, watching a certain figure leaving after standing frozen in his place for a decent amount of time before he turns his gaze back to Liam.
"I needed to get people off my back. It's not like I kissed you for real" He smiles instead of rolling his eyes because the lights are on and he can't appear to be scolding Liam after a kiss.
"You-" Liam sighs, "Rumors are not going to leave you, and if they reached Harry-"
"He doesn't care" Zayn cuts him off, "He is the king. He can have me beheaded anytime of the day for nothing. He doesn't need rumors to kill me"
"And how do you think this is ending for me?"
Zayn blinks at him and stares for a moment, "I thought that Lady Eve doesn't let rumors spread of whatever happens tonight outside this mansion?"
"She doesn't" Liam mumbles, "Forget it" He shakes his head and pulls away but Zayn frowns.
"What's bothering you?"
"I'm just worried for you"
"I've got nothing more to lose, Liam" He replies quietly, "Is the night over now? Can I leave this party?"
"To your chamber"
"Then take me to my chamber" Liam raises his brows and Zayn actually rolls his eyes this time as he pushes him away, "Oh please" He laughs and Liam smiles, and a servant accompanies them to his room.
Zayn hears a very familiar voice and turns towards it before he climbs the stairs. There, among some nobles, is Louis, and Zayn isn't sure why he would even think he's not invited. Louis is a noble with a very high rank among other nobles as well as a very closer friend to the king aside from being inside the council and gaining the position of the king's deputy. He doesn't care though, Louis is someone he wishes he would strangle to death with his own hands, but he can't, and he turns to leave instead.
But there, across the room, there is another person who saw their little episode.
🌟
Liam helps him undo his dress and corset, and Zayn doesn't know if Lady Eve provides every room with sleeping gowns, and he has no idea why he wasn't told from the beginning. He would've told his ladies to pack properly another outfit, but Harry doesn't tell him much, and he wonders if it's to embarrass him. But there's a sleeping gown for him and he'd have slept naked for all he cares, but a servant might come in, and he wants to avoid any unnecessary situation. Besides, Liam is with him in the same room, and he doesn't know why he's uncomfortable, they're both men, but Zayn doesn't dig deep into the matter. He saves Liam the awkwardness of his changing process and leaves him on the bed as he changes.
Liam is still sitting on the bed when Zayn finishes, and he unties his hair as he looks at Liam. "Why aren't you undressing?"
"That sounded awkward" Zayn laughs, sitting on a chair and brushing his hair. "I bet you never did that before" He points at the brush and Zayn sighs.
"I would have thrown a pair of pants on with some shirt and that's it. On other occasions though, when I wanted to make myself more presentable, then yes, I did brush my hair. It was quite long, reached my shoulders, and I had to. Although on many occasions I wanted to cut it all" He grabs his hair and stares at how long it is right now.
"Well, um ... I think I can sleep on the Chaise longue"
Zayn rolls his eyes, "I'm assuming you're sleeping in your clothes as well?" He stands up and sits on the other side of the bed, "Don't act like I'm some stranger, Liam"
"I'm not, you're just-" He struggles with words and motions at Zayn's body who look down at himself in confusion. Zayn might have taken out the extra boobs, but his frame is the same, and if Liam is being honest, Zayn looks very different from being a man, but he can't tell him that. "I'll just-" He tries again and Zayn looks up at him, and yeah, he's sure if people kept staring into his eyes, they might forget about the boobs.
So he stands instead with a sigh and Zayn flops on his side of the bed. It's not exciting as watching a girl strip, Zayn knows that, but he can't help but stare at Liam's back muscles as they flex, his biceps, and he doesn't miss the hard abs and the chest hair when he turns, and Zayn would kill to have that, but his body decided against it, and when Liam approaches the bed again, keeping his underpants, Zayn's gaze shift automatically to his thick thighs and alright, he should stop.
"I envy you"
Liam furrows his brows, "You envy me?"
"You're basically my body goals"
Liam laughs as he slips under the covers, "I don't think you'd be able to be a queen if you had a different body shape"
Zayn pouts at him, "I didn't want to be a queen. I'm a man"
Liam blows off the candle and turns to him, "I think people would give anything to have eyes like yours"
"What is it with men and my eyes?"
Liam laughs quietly again and gets in a comfortable position, and he can still see Zayn's eyes in the dim lights, "They say that the eyes are a window to the soul, and yours happen to be very beautiful"
Zayn blinks at him before he's turning to the other side and pulling the covers over him, "Goodnight, Liam"
🌟
Liam wakes up to knocking sounds on the door. Zayn is turned towards him, the cover is reaching his chest and his hair is a mess, but he looks peaceful and mostly adorable with his body sinking into the sheets. He reaches to remove his hair out of his face and hears the knocking again so he sighs and gets up slowly.
There's a servant smiling at him and offers them breakfast with a box and a note attached to it. The servant leaves and he picks up the note informing them that it's time to leave. He returns back to the bed and brushes his fingers through his hair again.
"Zayn, wake up. It's time for our departure" Zayn sinks further into the sheets and Liam shakes him until he hears a groan.
"This is not how you wake up a queen" Zayn mumbles and turns to glare at him, or trying to with his sleepy state, and Liam just grins at him before getting up and putting on his clothes.
It takes Zayn a couple more minutes to finally get up, and he finds new clothes inside the box delivered from Lady Eve as well as an invitation to join her for tea after his breakfast. Liam helps him with his outfit, and they find a servant to lead them to where Lady Eve is but Liam is asked to go elsewhere and Zayn finds her in the garden speaking to Louis before he's leaving and she's turning to him.
"My apologies, I hope I didn't keep you waiting for long" She motions for him to sit and he does. A servant pouring him a cup of tea once he does. "I had to personally walk Lord Tomlinson out" She smiles at him and Zayn fakes one. He knows Louis must have strong contacts and she is one of them. He just hates Louis. "I hope you had a wonderful night"
"I would call it peaceful" He replies, because it has. Liam's presence isn't new to him. "So you and Lord Tomlinson seem close"
She smiles again, "Louis is one of a few. I cannot simply reject him"
"Indeed" He nods slowly, "So you would be chatting him too?"
She pauses, staring at him for a moment before dropping her gaze and sipping on her tea, "I know what you're asking, my dear, but I cannot answer you"
"Because he has powers. Actual powers. Combined with intelligence. Such a dangerous combination"
"That you wish" She finishes for him and Zayn has to offer a smile.
"So you're playing on both sides?"
"I'm playing on mine. I thought you would understand the most"
"True"
"So" She sets her cup down, "Getting involved with the king's guard isn't something that would benefit you. Not when he's a very close friend too"
"I thought you don't tell on your guests?" He raises an eyebrow.
"My darling, I can't help you when you're getting involved with people close to each other. The king might not be able to accuse you of anything, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't know of it. Keeping a secret relationship inside court is a tough task"
"The king doesn't care. I'm positive he found his way through the night with another. And I can't care any less"
Lady Eve stares at him again before nodding slowly, "I apologize if I can't tell you who they were"
"Because the secrets of your guests remain hidden, I understand" He stands up when he sees his ladies. "Thank you for your kind hospitality. I would have been at a worse state if it wasn't for your hand throughout the night"
Lady Eve stands as well, "Any time" She bows and Zayn nods once before he's walking towards his ladies. "I do keep the secrets of my guests, your majesty" She calls after him and he stops, "But there are other factors that I cannot tell you specifically" He turns to her, "Power is risky" She says quieter and Zayn stares at her for a minute.
"But you're not on the king's side"
"Have a safe journey" She winks at him and he furrows his brows. If she's not telling him because of the king, then why? No, who?
Zayn should know the answer, but he doesn't, and he can try to guess, and he bets that he can find it, but he doesn't care. Harry's affairs doesn't concern him in any way. He is disposable, he's not a girl, he doesn't have any possible effect on Harry, and he surely doesn't own enough power to face him right now. So he just leaves it at that. Leaves Lady Eve to think he's irritated because of the king's affairs instead of his loss of an army to save his country.
🌟
Harry finds Zayn sitting with his ankles crossed next to a window in the hallway, a beige and gold silk dress hugging his frame perfectly. His hair is down with a thin gold hairband on top of his head, and his gaze is fixed on the flower between his hands and his fingers trace its petals gently. He's not doing anything major, but Harry doesn't mind kneeling next to him with his head in his lap instead of the flower and his hands stroking his legs over the material of the dress. But he can't. So he stands across from him instead with his arms crossed over his chest, and Zayn must have known already, he wouldn't be out of his room and alone next to a window that is close to the gate.
"The nobles have arrived. Many who are offering to fund the crown" Zayn's gaze shift to the side, and Harry can see it too, how one of the nobles stop to look at him before noticing Harry and bowing in respect, or to cover his embarrassment. He was ogling at his supposed wife and queen, but Harry can't object to that either. Zayn returns his gaze to the flower again and Harry wonders who gave it to him, Zayn isn't the type to like flowers, but he doesn't want to know the answer. Zayn on the other hand is more disgusted by how men keep giving him those looks, but he knows he's related to this mess, and he knows that Harry is probably going to ask him to fix it.
"I have also asked for the generals' presence" Zayn doesn't pick his gaze up, doesn't reply to him, but he's not leaving either, and Harry doesn't know what to make of this. "If you have something in your mind, say it"
Zayn hums, "You're gathering an army that I'm not sure it is for me" He rips a petal, "I don't know your agenda but you need me alive to cross the borders because we both know that my people are going to attack once they see the English flags" He rips another petal, "You either don't want me here fearing that I'd ruin your country or that I'm going to be murdered and you lose your only chance of obtaining the German throne" He rips another petal, "But you're highly mistaken if you thought that I would surrender to you" He finally picks his gaze up, amber pools glaring at him, "My people hate the English just as much as they hate the French if not more. At least the French have been our enemy and their intentions are known. Not like those who seek an alliance just to interfere in our affairs and destroy what's left of us" His voice is low, and Harry can see the rage, terror, worry, confusion, and hope in his eyes before they drop again to the flower in his lap.
"You wanted an army to kick the French out, and I'm doing my part of the deal. The alliance between my country and yours remains. I did not interfere in your affairs and I do not wish to. But if you want, I can send the generals back home"
Zayn looks up and smiles, that fake sweet one that Harry hates, "Do I really have an option, your majesty? You eventually do what you want, because you have power and I don't" His smiles falls and he throws the flower out the window.
"You're giving up?" Harry raises his brows.
"You have my hands tied, what do you want me to do?"
"Take the shot" Harry replies and turns to leave, because he'd learned to read Zayn's movements by now, and as much as he hates to admit it, he knows that Zayn is only replying to him this way because he has nothing else to do, only for now, but he hopes he would actually give up and trust him on this.
🌟
Zayn sees his ladies with a worried but hopeful smiles on their faces, and he turns one last time to look at the castle behind him. He sees Liam among other soldiers, then Niall approaching him.
"We're going home, my friend"
"We're going home" Zayn repeats and Niall pats his shoulders before he's smiling and walking away. His hands fumble with the letter between them until he spots Harry and he waits for him to be close enough for a conversation.
"According to my mother, Cuxhaven is a safe route for us to enter. The French presence won't be a problem there and your army can settle there freely until we can move again"
Harry nods and motions for him to get to his cart. And from what Zayn learned, Harry is leaving Louis responsible since he's his right hand, a member of the council and has an army that is ready to defend England in case anything goes wrong. Zayn isn't sure if Louis staying would benefit him or not, but he is glad that he doesn't have to deal with him in their journey and hopefully never in his life anymore if his country is back to him.
They reach the ships and Zayn can't help but feel worry over the small number of army Harry had summoned, and he can clearly see that Harry isn't exposing his agenda yet, and despite how many times Zayn tried to read him, he can't.
🌟
For the first time, Zayn finds himself able to breathe freely once they spot land. Harry is there next to him, eyes empty, and Zayn can't read him still, and he hopes they're showing emotions like they always do, but it appears that Harry is also capable of covering them, and Zayn doesn't know why he expected Harry couldn't.
"Raise the German flags" Harry orders and Zayn glances at him briefly. "You're going first" He knows that. Knows that the English can't proceed without being fired at unless he shows that he's with them. So he doesn't reply, turns to leave to his boat with a few soldiers and Niall by his side.
There are archers hidden in the trees on the hill, and Zayn can spot them, but they wait for an order, and Zayn sees a group of men approaching the shore as well.
"You're back" The middle one shouts and once Zayn comes closer, he can see clearly his face.
"With an army, general" He replies and turns to the soldiers who came with him, "The French kicked me out of my own country, continued to spill my people's blood, and dared to mock me to leave my throne" He turns to the general again, "But I am here, asking for your trust once more to take back our country. The English are our ally in this war, and I swear on my honor, I will not leave Germany until either every single Frenchman is dead or I am"
The general stares at him for a moment before bowing with the rest of the group, "Welcome back your majesty. The English are our ally at this war. Let them pass" He nods and Zayn releases a sigh of relief before turning again to the ships waiting and watch them getting closer.
The camp is set, Zayn meets with his people to know of the situation and returns to Harry. There are a few English generals by his side and they leave once Zayn enters his tent.
"The French army is spread across the country, I believe we can take them out easily considering we have a larger number, but ..."
"But?"
Zayn takes a deep breath, "Striking at one place at a time will cause more blood to be shed from my side. If we're not moving quickly enough, the French can have the advantage of gathering their forces at one place and fighting us, and their number is much larger than us. They have even managed to secure many strategic positions inside the villages, and I'm not sure if this is in our favor ..." He pauses once he sees Harry's determined eyes again, and Harry doesn't miss the amount of fear that flashes through Zayn's eye, "Are you offering me back my country or are you offering my country to the French? Because you might as well kill me now and save us both from this useless conversation.
Harry sighs, "Come here"
"In case you haven't noticed yet, I'm not following your orders anymore. You are not my king and I'm not obliged to listen to anything you say"
Harry picks up the letters scattered on the table and walks until he's standing in front of Zayn and drops them into his hands. Zayn furrows his brows, and there's his defense posture and alarmed eyes, but he picks them up and reads them.
"I could not risk losing an entire army. Having a small number following me from England would give France the impression that we're not ready, or that I'm considering an alliance like they offered before" Zayn's eyes snap up to his, "Which I'm not" He assures him, "The rest of my army is arriving tonight. The first group is entering Kiel, the second following from Konstanz, and the third from Cottbus"
Zayn lowers the letters slowly, "You planned this a long ago" Because there is no way Harry would be able to gather this number in a short period of time. "You- Why?"
But Harry doesn't get a chance to reply to him as a guard interrupts them, informing him of the arrival of the first party. "Go back to your tent" Harry tells him quietly, "You're a queen, and your people need you alive to rule"
It's the last thing Zayn hears from him before he's been guided outside, but there is a million thought that goes through his head that neither goes anywhere far because he has a war to attend to instead.
🌟
They reach Hanover successfully, Harry's forces stay uncombined with messengers between them to avoid trapping their entire army. The other troop reach Stuttgart, and Zayn receives another letter at the middle of the night, so he goes to Harry's tent, and Liam smiles at him and steps to the side to let him in.
"Harry" Harry's sleeping of course, and Zayn sighs before reaching him and sitting next to him, "Harry" He calls him again, and he understands his position. Zayn might not be the one in charge this time, he knows that neither him nor Harry are fighting, but he knows it's tiring to think of a plan to enter the next village while taking in consideration the lives of Zayn's people as well as the lives of his own soldiers. He noticed how Harry doesn't want to make much damage to the villages they pass through considering that Zayn will have to fix that later, and he appreciates it, he does, but he is trying to push those thoughts away because they make him feel weird.
And he falls silent for a minute, watching Harry sleep, which is creepy and he should stop and wake him up already because there is an important matter to attend to rather than this, but he just looks so peaceful, so opened, like his body language is already giving away his intentions that Zayn is trying to block. And if he's being honest, even when Harry's eyes are closed, he can still sense that warm feeling they give, and he would never admit it out loud, but despite all of those people complimenting his eyes, he sees Harry's as most honest which is far more beautiful than a pair to lust for, and he wishes Harry would tell him already for all those times they go blank. Zayn will never say it, but he hates the way they don't show emotions, not because he can't read them, but because it gives him the feeling that Harry isn't being himself, which worries him sometimes, and he knows that his mind will drift very far to many theories and he can't stop it.
So instead of drifting again, he shakes Harry to wake him up, and once he gets a glimpse of his eyes, his hands retreat on their own because Zayn can't describe what he felt.
"What's wrong?" Harry frowns and sits up.
"I've received a letter from Kassel, the survivors had sent an urgent plea to save them. The French committed a massacre after hearing we're on the move. My people are dying and I need to save them"
Harry takes the letter and shakes his head, "Kassel is surrounded heavily by the French forces. Soldiers died trying to reach them, I don't have enough information about it but from what I've heard, they're luring us in. It's a trap" He hands him back the letter and Zayn's mouth gapes.
"They're my people! I trust them!"
"Not all of your people want you alive. Don't do anything reckless" He warns and Zayn stands up.
"You're telling me to let down my own subjects?!"
"No. I'm telling you not to trust anyone just because they were born inside the same country as you" Harry replies, voice still calm, "This" He motions outside the tent, "Is your army. Loyal soldiers that are ready to give their lives for you"
"No. They're your army. They don't give a damn about me"
"Zayn" Harry sighs, "They would follow you too"
"Because?"
"Because I ordered them to. Because they've seen what you're capable of. Because they want to end this as well. Because you can threaten them inside your own country. Pick whatever you want to believe, but I wasn't lying to you when I told you that I would give your country back to you, just not like this. I know you care for your people but you have to understand that you can't throw those soldiers who fought this far for you to their deaths. I will manage something" And Zayn hates how Harry's eyes are still honest. "I know you've been providing us with vital information. I know that this is your country, but you have to also understand that even you don't know everything happening inside your country and surely not after the French invasion ... You don't work separately, Zayn. This is not how to fight properly as a ruler"
Zayn stares at him for a minute, and Harry stares back, hoping that Zayn would calm down and retire to his own tent, but instead, he moves closer with his arms crossed over his chest.
"A king won't march to another kingdom without a hidden desire, so what's yours?" He asks quietly and Harry takes a deep breath.
"All you need to know that I wish you no harm and that I'm not turning Germany into an English colony"
"Then why?" He asks desperately, his hands are falling to his side again and Harry shakes his head, picking the covers again as he lies down.
"Goodnight, Zayn"
Again, he leaves Zayn with more questions than answers.
🌟
Zayn wakes up to a loud noise piercing his ears and he's jolted awake to find Niall trying to get to him.
"What's going on?" Zayn pushes his hair out of his eyes.
"Cannons"
"Fuck" Zayn hurries to wear his clothes properly, "How on earth did they manage to get them without us noticing?"
"It's coming from the east side of the camp" Niall pulls him until he's on a horse.
"East ..." Zayn whispers to himself and turns to look at it when his vision is interrupted by Harry on a horse as well. He sees Liam following behind before he's passing him and Zayn turns again to look questionably at Harry. "What's a kingdom without its king?!" He shouts at him and Harry gets closer, "You're seriously staying behind?!"
Harry shakes his head and is soon surrounded by a group of soldiers, "Keep moving, I know my way through that forest. Me and Louis used to go there plenty of times before"
"You're a king!" Zayn shouts again.
"Who is risking to lose his soldiers if I didn't stop these cannons! They're not going to stop until half of my army is gone!"
East.
"I'm responsible for this mess, I'll go. I know this forest just as much as you do!"
Harry gives him a confused look but shakes his head again, "No. You don't. There is a moment when you have to realize that you don't know everything"
"They're Germans!" Zayn shouts again before Harry gets to turn, "Those are not French cannons ... They don't want you here, let me talk to them"
"They opened fire on the camp that you are at. They're not your people" Harry replies quietly, "I'll send a signal once it's cleared. It shouldn't take more than a couple of hours"
"Harry!" Zayn shouts at him again, but he's being blocked by soldiers, and he looks at Liam for assistance but he's also giving him the same determined look, and he doesn't have a sword to fight, and he doubts he can win against all of them. Besides, he doesn't really have time, hearing another blast near him.
The soldiers are protecting him while his supposedly supporters want him dead. Harry was right. These are his men now.
🌟
Zayn stares at the hill until his feet are tired. He paces across his tent until he's dizzy. But Harry's been gone for more than a couple of hours and there has been no signal. And after the day almost ending, Liam took Niall and the two went to clear the area, finding that silence might be better to detect them if there was any harm done, and they'd be able to calculate exactly how many men they might need if they found resistance.
Funny. Harry used to be the one to tell him not to be reckless.
Liam enters his tent and he stops his pacing.
"This is for you" He hands him a small box and Zayn furrows his brows.
"What is this? Where's Harry? What happened?" He opens the box and there's a letter and he picks it up, setting the box aside and when he opens the letter, Liam leaves the tent making the crease between his brows deepen and he suddenly feels suffocated again.
'Dear Zayn, if you're reading this letter then I know that Liam had done his job as my best friend. You asked me before why I am doing all of this and I believe I owe you an answer if I'm no longer capable of seeing your face ... This might sound awkward to you, but it has been a weight on my shoulder and at least I know it's not completely new to you. I know that Liam is someone very dear to you, and despite the fact that I didn't like it, at least I know he's by your side'
'We met when we were younger, when you'd accompany Tiana and sit there with a bored expression as she talked about politics. I still remember your confused face when we were conversing in Spanish, and I still like to tease you with it, but every time my attention would be drawn to you, whether it's your eyes shining in the sunlight or your smile spreading on your face or how you sounded in your accent as you grew bored. I still remember how carefree you were, never in a million years you'd have thought to rule a country, and I understood. You didn't spend many days at the English court, and I accepted that fact'
'I have to be honest, I got a little bit excited when I was told I was marrying Tiana. I thought I'd get to see you, but didn't see other than a princess with her ladies arriving at court, and I understood. Marriage was never going to stop anyone from trying and I wanted to try, but then you ended up as my bride, and things got more than complicated, but I couldn't lose you now that I finally got you. But you didn't want to, and I understood. I wanted to keep your secrets, I wanted you to shine as a queen, but you shut me away, and I understood. Forgive me if I stood up to you but it was for your own good. I couldn't sit anymore and watch you dragging yourself down nor that I ever wanted for my country to be ruined. I knew that it was the only way for you to finally acknowledge me, and I was a king. I couldn't let you go any further'
'Perhaps the thought crossed your mind before, but yes, me and Louis were in some sort of an affair. I wanted to be experienced, I knew I could never have my way given my position, but I still wanted it, so one time turned to another and another. Louis was a friend and an army and I needed both. Yes, we've agreed at some point that there were no feelings from my side, but that didn't stop him from helping me, and I wasn't going to lose an opportunity like that. Louis has been helpful plenty of times. He was a force when I had none, a mind when mine got blocked, a position when I needed influence, and a body when I was stressed. I do not regret anything I did, I believe it wouldn't have been any other way'
'I never had any doubt that you'd make an amazing ruler despite your mistakes, but you're human, and you just needed a little more time and experience that I'm positive you'd get eventually. You have a good heart that might have been ruined since you were given this position, but I still believe you do, that the conspiracies left you to doubt everyone around you, but I still believe you can see this through'
'I'm sorry if I was never able to tell you this directly, but I couldn't bear to be rejected by you, and if you found another, then this is what we've agreed on, and I understand. But I fell with the first time you laughed so brightly, and I would still fall a bit deeper with every flutter of your lashes, and you might hate me for this, but I never planned to fall in love with another and certainly not your sister. I'm not proud to say that I thought of you numerous times on my bed instead, neither that I'm happy to say that longing for you made me pass so many opportunities to gain a higher position, and I'm not proud to say that even when you helped assassinating my parents, I couldn't feel anything different when you were in my arms, but you can't blame me'
'I wasn't asking for anything in return. I would have accepted the fact that we would be separated after the war ends. I would have stuck to the alliance ... I would have given you anything actually. It's cruel how the world works against you, but I hope you find happiness inside your country. I cannot ask you to care for England, you never did, and I can't force you to do it, but it has been my country, and I know you wouldn't blame the people for what a previous king had done to you. I really hope you can see them for who they are instead of where they come from. Don't let your hatred blind you'
'I love you. Your appearance never affected my heart, your position never blocked me away. I wanted you then, and I wanted you afterwards. And I wanted to believe that fate sent you to me, but your heart wasn't directed towards me, and I truly understand. I've been living with that fact for so long now. Royals don't get to follow their hearts, and I'm not sure where I stand to be honest, but I guess it was fine as long as you were near. I apologize again if this was not what you expected to hear from me. I would accept the fact that your feelings might not still be towards me, but I can't help mine. And please don't think of me as a pathetic person, but I sort of wished that I would propose to you, as Zayn, and the thought never left my mind, and I had a ring with me all the time. I know it's stupid, but I would have still proposed, even though I know I'm risking to cut the line of succession. Maybe in a different life ... From someone who dreamed to call you mine, Harry'
Zayn grabs the box again, vision glossy, and he picks up the ring. It's a diamond surrounded by green gemstones, shaping in his favorite way, and it fits around his finger in his left hand.
Zayn lets the tears fall.