I may just be another hopeless romantic telling my love story, but it is the most compelling story that I know. Let's begin with my name. My name is Alexavier Davis, but my friends call me Alex. Life through school was a little rough for me. Everyone always seemed to have relationships with a special someone, even in elementary school. Those pointless relationships, just mimicking everyone and everything we saw around us, in happy and loving relationships. I was always that one kid that sat by himself, away from the world. I always dreamt of the perfect girl, and the perfect world. But as for most of us, those countless wishes never came true, well not entirely anyways.
Like I said, school was never easy for me. I didn't quite fit in anywhere. I definitely didn't fit in with the jocks or the geeks, but the bandies where the closest I ever was to fitting in. But even they had their relationships. Regardless I had a couple of relationships in high school, but it just never felt right to me. I didn't get that feeling that everyone described when they where with their loved one. So, music was the only thing I ever had.
Eventually, I ventured from music, to art, which was a fun time. Once I felt comfortable enough, I would go to a public place and draw. Most of the time, I would draw what I saw from where I was sitting, scenery wise. Living in one of the most artistic places in the United States, New York City, it wasn't hard to find another artist. A couple of them actually gave me some tips on how they do their work. But there was one person that instantly caught my eye and It took everything in me to look away.
As my life continued on after high school, I spent most of my days drawing, out in public. I would go to one different place at least three times a week. For instance, if it was a park I would simply pick a different location in the park. I never really believed in love at first sight, but my mind changed very quickly when I met one person. I remember sitting there admiring the beautiful Fall weather that we were having. The leaves had changed colors and were beginning to fall off of the trees. The temperature was a little cold, but regardless, the scenery looked absolutely beautiful. It was a perfect day for drawing. I quickly sat down on a bench, took my backpack off of my shoulders, and got my drawing book out. I began to sketch out my surroundings. The trees, a water fountain, the clouds in my sky. I countinued for hours upon hours, admiring my surroundings by sketching them out. As I took my first break for the day, it was almost noon. The sun was at the highest point in the sky for the day. I continued to admire everything around me. But as I was glancing around the park, someone caught my eye. The absolute prettiest girl that my eyes have ever laid upon.
She was sitting there, doing as some other people were doing, drawing. That means we had at least one thing in common. Maybe for once, I had a chance. I decided it was finally time to start drawing again. I was hardly getting any work done at all because I was getting so distracted by this girls presence. In a short amount of time, as I was giving quick and sly glares to her, she started doing the same to me. After an hour or so of doing this, she began to pack everything up. My immediate thought was that this might be the only shot I would have. Maybe I'd never see her again. Cautiously I began to stand up, but in doing so, she began walking towards me.
"Hello there, I know this may seem a little odd, but may I tell you something" She said confidently. I was shaking terrible.
"Sure!" I said in a shaky yet enthusiastic voice.
"I know that I really shouldn't say this but I've noticed that you were staring at me. This might be a mistake on my part in telling you this, but I can tell by your eyes that you're in love with me. I could just tell by the look you were giving me. I could just see it." Her voice sounded almost angelic.
I said shyly, "Maybe...maybe you're right."
Her facial expression quickly changed, from a small smile, to a very big smile when I said that. We sat on that bench for hours talking to eachother. Surprisingly enough, we had a lot of things in common. Remembering back to high school, and remembering what my dream girl was like, she fit that dream, perfectly.
"What is your name?" I asked with enthusiasm
"My name? My name is Catherine. What about you?" She said equally enthusiastic.
"The name is Alexavier. Nice to meet you Catherine." a smile appeared as I held my hand out for her to shake.
"Nice to meet you too!" She said as she grasped my hand to shake it.
After about an hour or so of talking to her I remember having a nauseous feeling in my stomach as I was preparing to ask her to go to dinner.
"Hey, Uhm" I was pretty hesitant, and you could tell by my voice that I was feeling nervous, "Would you like to go out for dinner sometime?" Before I had even finished talking, she had already said yes.
"I've been wanting to ask you the same thing, but I thought you might think it was weird or something." She said while laughing. Her smile was absolutely beautiful. Her eyes simply captivated me. Even though I had only known her for a couple of hours, I felt like I had known her all my life. That's when I realized...that what I was feeling, was the exact feeling everyone else described when they were with their loved one. At that moment, I knew that she was the one I had been waiting for.
"I don't really know where to take you." I said as we stood up and started walking.
"I do. The Mystery Place" She said quickly. She held her hand out for me to grab, and as I grabbed her hand she began to run. As she grabbed my hand, a spark of electricity ran through my body. That spark, made my beliefs stronger, that she was the one. As we were racing through the busy sidewalks of New York City, I couldn't get the image of her beautiful smile out of my head for one second.
As we countinued to run, my nervousness quickly disappeared and turned into happiness. To see her holding my hand, running and leading me through the streets to this mystery place, put a pure smile on my face. I can remember everything so vividly, that sometimes I even have dreams, reliving those moments. We arrived at a place called "The Mystery Cafe", and I thought to myself that when she said that we were going to the mystery place, that she wasn't lying.
As we stepped into the cafe the overwhelming smell of coffee filled the air. Looking around the cafe, it looked very cozy. The clock read 3:45. We found a comfortable place to sit, which was a booth for two. After chatting, a waiter finally arrived to our table and we ordered our food. This easily became my new favorite place to get coffee or eat. But anywhere that I was with Catherine was my favorite place. It was odd to know that I could talk to her for hours, and never repeat one subject. I've never been able to do that with anyone.
As we both finished our dinner, I looked up at the clock. It was already 5:55. We had been eating and talking for two hours and ten minutes, yet it felt like 30 minutes. But soon thereafter, I realized that I was late to hangout with my roomate. I cut her off mid-sentence,
"Listen, I've had so much fun spending most of my day with you. You're an absolutely wonderful, beautiful, and amazing girl, and I'd really love to go out again sometime. But I promised my roomate that we would hang out tonight at 6:00. Here's my number, text or call me later and we can continue talking and maybe even plan another date." I said with a sly smile. I felt that it was too soon to kiss her, so maybe just a hug? She stood up so we could say our goodbyes, I opened my arms to indicate that I was going to hug her and she did the same. As we locked together in a tight hug, a spark ran through my body as it did when our bodies first made contact when we shook hands. I felt her head turn in towards my face and she kissed my cheek. Maybe it wasn't too weird, maybe I should have kissed her first. Oh well, hopefully there will be plenty of other chances to kiss her. We both stopped hugging eachother and let go.
"It was great getting to spend this much time with someone that's awesome, like you! I feel like I've known you for years, but we just met today. I'd really like to go out again sometime, I mean if you would too." She said awkwarldly.
"Of course I do Catherine! You're really awesome, and I feel like we have a good connection!" I said as I was putting on my coat. I really wanted to spend more time with her, but I couldn't break my promise especially to my roomate. We waved at eachother as I was walking out the door. I ran throughout the streets of New York, the sun still shining, right in my eyes. But it was even colder than it was earlier in the day, but that's usually how it works. In a short six minutes of running, I arrived at my apartment building. My roomate and I had just moved apartment buildings a couple of weeks ago, so it was still hard to find the right one. The door being poorly lit I could hardly figure out what it said "Apartment Building A". Knowing that was the right one, I opened up the door. Walking up the small flight of stairs seemed like a hard task at the time, running made my legs very weak. As I got to my floor, I walked down the hallway reflecting on everything that happened today. As I had just finished, I reached my apartment building "17A". As I opened the door, my roomate yelled "ALEXAVIER!".
"Hey buddy" I said to him somberly
"What's wrong?" Nathan asked cautiously
"It's nothing, just reflecting on my day." I said in a slightly more entusiastic mood.
"Well... what happened? You're usually home by like 3:30, did you get any good work done?" He asked frantically
"I got about halfway through a really good piece of artwork, then I think I met the love of my life. We spent the rest of the day together. We talked in the park for about an hour, then had dinner at "The Mystery Cafe" for a little over two hours." I said with a great smile on my face.
"Sounds like you had fun! Now come on over here and we're going to watch this new movie together! It's about war, your favorite!" He said as he was patting his hand on the coach beside of him, wanting me to come sit by him. I jumped over the coach and landed beside of him, he pressed play of the DVD remote and the movie began. I couldn't really focus on the movie, because I couldn't get Catherine off of my mind. Everytime I would get deep in thought about her, Nathan would bounce up and yell when someone started fighting.
"Did you see that?!" He asked several times
"Yes, that was awesome!" I responded everytime the question came up, even though I wasn't even paying any attention to the movie. After the movie ended we had what he called "Bro-Time" where we told eachother what happened throughout the day, over eating pizza for dinner.
"I'm not really hungry." I said while pushing away the pizza he had given me.
"But dude, it's tradition in Bro-Time to eat pizza, at least eat one piece." He said with a puppy dog face.
I took the piece of pizza and began eating it slowly. I was trying my hardest to actually listen to what he was saying, but the subject of Catherine kept creeping into my mind. I was fading in and out of our conversation, what a good friend I am!
"Alexavier....Alexavier are you listening?" He said tapping my shoulder.
"What... oh yeah! Sorry, my turn?" I said as I recollected all of my thoughts.
"Yeah." He said, he looked a little angry.
I told him every detail that I possibly could about Catherine and what we did today. He seemed to be pretty attentive and interested, so I continued on with every detail.
"Wow man, it sounds like you really are in love with her!" he exclaimed. Then my phone started ringing, and it was a number that I hadn't seen before.
"Let me take this phone call, maybe it is her!" I answered the phone.
"Hey Alexavier, this is your boss Jason calling. I need you to come into work tomorrow at 8:00 in the morning and work a double shift. Sorry for the late notice, we're low on workers. If you know anyone that needs hiring, bring them with you." He said calmly
"No problem sir, have a good night!" I hung up the phone. I stepped back into the room. Nathan was anxiously awaiting my return.
"Was it her? Was it her?" he said with great excitement.
"No it was my boss. Work at eight tomorrow morning, double shift." I said with a saddened voice. But then my phone rang again I held up my index finger to tell him to hold on a second. I answered it and stepped out of the room. I heard the sweet angelic voice of Catherine.
"Hey there cutie." She said
"Uhm who is this?" I asked in a cautious tone, just playing with her.
"Oh no, wrong number. Sorry!" She exclaimed.
"No no no, don't hang up. It's me, Alexavier. I was just joking!" I said whilst laughing.
"Oh haha, verry funny!" there was just a hint of sarcasm in her voice. "Want to meet tomorrow and have lunch or dinner together?" She asked nicely
"I'm so sorry but I can't I have a 14 hour shift tomorrow. They are low on workers." I said somberly
"Oh really, Where do you work?" she asked
"The Rockin' Cafe in downtown." I said. I thought that she might have wanted to work with me.
"Hey, they are hiring, do you uhm...want to go for an interview? I'm basically my bosses favorite, so I'm sure I could talk him into giving you the job." I asked cautiously.
"Sure, I know where it is. I'll meet you there at 7:50! But if I have to get up that early, I need to get some rest. I'll see you in the morning. Goodnight cutie!" She said
"Goodnight!" I said quitely as she hung up. I stepped back into the apartment.
"That was her!" Nathan exclaimed
"Yeah! She is most likely going to be working with me now!" I said excitedly
"That's awesome! But buddy, you definitely need your beauty rest." He said as he punched my arm playfully and I did the same to him.
"Ouch that really hurt!" He exclaimed
"Sorry." I said with a puppy dog face
"Really?" Nathan asked
"Yes." I said in a sacrcastic tone. I punched his arm again and ran off into my room and jumped onto my bed and hid under the covers. I swear we both act like five year old children sometimes. Nathan burst into my room and started play punching me.
"Dude, let me sleep!" I yelled
"Oh yeah, I forgot. Sorry buddy, goodnight!" He said as he climbed off of my bed and walked back into the living room.
I leaned over and set my alarm clock for 7:00 A.M and rolled onto my back. As I was lying there, I couldn't get the image of Catherine's beautiful smile out of my head. I felt like I had been lying there for five hours already, so I looked at the alarm clock but only twenty minutes had passed. Time went by so fast when I was with Catherine, but when I wasn't with her everything went by so slowly. Eventually I fell asleep, and woke up to the sound of my alarm clock. I took a quick shower and got completely ready and began to walk out the door when Nathan walked out of his room.
"Good luck today!" He winked as he said it.
"Thanks!" I said as I closed the apartment door. I wasn't in a hurry so I locked the door, and began walking out of the apartment building. The sun wasn't very high in the sky, as it was only 7:30. My phone vibrated, alerting me that I had a text message.
"Hey cutie(:" it read.
"Hey, walking to work. See you there (:" I replied quickly. I personally do not like walking and texting, as it can be remotely dangerous. Texting while walking can be especially dangerous in a city as big as New York City. In a short fifteen minute walk, I arrived at "The Rockin' Cafe". I was greeted by my boss.
"Good morning, Alexavier!" He exclaimed as he was unlocking the door.
"Good morning sir! I brought one of my friends for an interview this morning. I think she would be a GREAT addition to the staff. She would be a great waiter. She's beautiful, smart, relatable to almost everyone, she'd be perfect for the job as a waiter." I said with great enthusiasm.
"That's good, I'll interview her as soon as she arrives. With how you're talking about her, she might start today!" He said as he opened the door.
I began to wipe down the tables. At exactly 8:00 AM, Catherine opened the door.
"Hey Catherine!" I exclaimed. "My boss is in the back, and should be ready for your interview." I said. She nodded and began to walk towards the back of the restaurant. As I was anxiously awaiting her return, I continued to clean the tables. Thirty minutes passed, and she came out of the back, with a uniform on in her hands and gave me a big smile so I returned it but with two thumbs up. She walked into the restrooom to change, and came out with the shop's uniform on. She ran to me and hugged me tightly.
"Thank you so much, I'm assuming you put in a good word this morning for me?" She said excitingly.
"Only a sentence or two, so you did most of it on your own!" I said as she was shrieking with excitement. I thought to myself, that it was going to be absolutely amazing working with the girl that I love, and I was absolutely right. Everything was going absolutely perfect. Every week, we would go out for dinner at least twice a week, never going to same place in a month. Once every month, we would go to the first place that we had dinner together. I can remember the first time we met like it was yesterday. It was October 13th, 2010 when we first met. The second time we visited the Mystery Cafe is when I asked her if she wanted to be in a relationship with me. It was Novemember 16th and it was hardly snowing, but the ground had a small layer of snow on it. We were sitting in the same booth that we had first sat in. After eating, I remember shaking because I was so nervous.
"I've got a question." I said shakily. Her eyes lit up and she just started nodding.
"Spending this past month with you has been absolutely amazing. From day one, I knew that our friendship would grow to a very strong friendship. From working with you, to these "dinner dates" I've enjoyed spending every single second with you. Would you do me the favor of being my girlfriend?" I asked
"Yes!" She kept repeating with a bigger smile on her face each time. We both stood up and hugged eachother, and grabbed eachothers hands then walked out together. We took a very long walk that night. Even though it was snowing, we both wanted to continue our walk, so we did. We finally arrived at her apartment, but by this time it was basically a blizzard.
"Just come inside, I don't want you walking home in this mess." She seemed confident.
"Okay." I was pretty hesitant. We walked hand in hand, into her apartment building and she lead me to her apartment. We both went straight to sleep. We both had work the next morning too, so everything worked out perfectly.
Seven months had passed after we began dating and I knew that it was the right time to pop the question. We both loved each other at first sight of one another, so I knew we wouldn't really be rushing things. I once again, took her to the same place we both met. This time, it was June 16th, 2011. We sat in the same booth as we did the first time.
"Catherine, these past nine months with you has been absolutely incredible. I've enjoyed every second that I have spent with you. I knew from the first time our eyes met, that you were the one that I was meant to be with. I knew, that you, Catherine, were the love of my life. I love you, and I always will." I got down on one knee and pulled the ring out of my pocket. "Catherine, Will you please do me the favor of taking my hand in marriage and spending the rest of our lives together?" I asked confidently. She had the same reaction as she did, when I asked her to be my girlfriend.
"Yes!" she yelled "Yes! Everyone in the cafe began clapping, and congratulating us. But there was a slight look of worry on Catherine's face.
"What's wrong dear?" I asked
"I've got something to tell you. I took the first test at the end of May and it was positive. But I was waiting to take another test." She seemed a little hesitant. "Alexavier...I'm pregnant." She said with a smile on her face.
"Really?" I said in a questioning tone, but also with excitement in my voice.
"Yes!" She exclaimed.
"This calls for a celebration" I said!
That night, we got our favorite pizza and ice cream, rented a movie, and went back to her apartment to celebrate. That next morning we slept in. When I finally got up, and gathered everything to leave, Catherine got out of bed and hugged me.
"Thanks for such an amazing night, I love you." She said with a smile on her face and then kissed me.
"There's no other person that I'd rather spend time with than you. Especially when we are eating pizza and watching a movie." I said as I laughed. "I love you too" and then we hugged and kissed.
"Goodbye honey, I'll talk to you later!" I said as I walked out the door.
I've always been able to "predict" when something bad is going to happen. I feel like God tells me to be prepared for what will happen. I feel like God sends me a message internally, triggering certain nerves. I got that feeling as I walked out the door. I began mentally preparing myself, for God knows what. I knew that I had to be alert and attentive to my surroundings. As I walked out of the apartment building, the transition between the cold apartment building, to how hot it was outside was a little drastic. I began walking in the direction of my apartment building. I had only been walking for a maximum of three minutes before some shady people began walking behind me. I didn't really think anything of it, but "the feeling" shot through my body again. Is this what God was trying to warn me about? Is this what I was supposed to be preparing for? As I continued walking they began to get closer and closer. Soon thereafter I felt their hands grab onto me as I continued to try to walk, they pulled me into a dark alley. They kicked me to the ground. Why in God's name where they doing this to me? I'm a good person, why did I deserve this? I have a child on the way, and I'm finally engaged to the love of my life. I managed to yell for help once. That was a mistake. They began cursing and telling me to shut up, which in turn made them start kicking harder. I knew if I managed to get another yell out, I would be in big trouble. I managed to yell as loud as I possibly could. They kicked me even harder, and then started taking everything that was in my possession. My wallet, my phone, my apartment keys, everything. Lucky as they were doing this, a cop must have heard or seen what was going on. Before he stepped foot into the alley, I saw him talk into his walkie-talkie, then he began to run towards me.
"Stop and put your hands up. Drop everything you've taken and keep your hands up or I'll shoot." He yelled as he pointed the gun at the one in the center. Surprisingly enough they did as he said. As I was getting up and gathering all of my things, someone else walked into the alley and towards the cop. As soon as I saw that this mysterious guy had a gun, I quickly tried to gather everything and tried to run. It was actually a limp, and even trying to remember it, I can still feel the pain that I felt then. I managed to limp out of the alley as I heard a gun shot. I turned to look and saw blood fly out of the cops head and onto the alley's walls. I tried to limp as fast as possible to my apartment building. It took me around five minutes to get to my building. As I got inside, I got some odd stares from a couple walking out of the building. I got to my apartment and knocked on the door. There was no answer, Nathan usually left the door unlocked so I tried turning the door knob. It was locked. So I fumbled in my pocket for my keys, but they were nowhere to be found. I must have left them at the scene. I knocked on the door even louder, and just kept knocking. Finally I heard footsteps, and Nathan opened the door with just a towl wrapped around his body. He started to speak but cut hiself off mid sentence.
"Dude, why didn't you just use your-" as he saw me standing there, crippled with blood on my face he seemed shocked as any normal person would be. "Oh my gosh, what happened to you? Get in here!" He exclaimed. He helped me into the apartment and sat me on the couch.
"Hello, 911?" He said
"My friend is barely concious and can't tell me what happened to him but he has blood everywhere on him and seems to be fading in an out of conversation, get here fast. Please." I heard him said frantically
"Now tell me what happened" He said sitting on the couch facing me.
"I was walking home" I began fading in and not and not being able to finish my sentences. "Three guys...taking everything...call...cath-" and I blacked out. I can hardly remember that, but I don't really want to remember it.
I remember waking up in a hospital bed, with so many different things hooked up to me. As my vision slowly came back to me, I saw Catherine on one side of the bed in a chair asleep, and Nathan on the other side with his forehead on the railing of the hospital bed. I managed to move my hand and tap the back of his neck. He raised up and as soon as he saw me, his face immediately lit up.
"Dude, you're up!" He yelled. At that moment Catherine woke up and with much excited hugged me as tight as possible. Her stomach looked so big now. How long was I out?
"Ouch!" I let out with pain
"Oh sorry hun, I'm just so excited to see you awake. We thought you were gone for sure." She said with excitement, yet I could hear a touch of sadness in her voice which usually meant something was wrong but I let it go. Nathan hugged me, but with caution because he knew after Catherine hugged me that I could easily be put in pain.
"I missed you man. Those seven months just weren't the same without you in the apartment." He said somberly
"Wait, what? Seven months...what happened? What day is it?" I was confused and didn't know what was going on. Nathan nodded to Catherine indicating she could tell me what was going on.
"It's January 27th, 2012. Do you remember anything that happened?" Catherine asked.
"No, not really." I said, wondering what happened.
"It's sort of a long story and this is all that I know. Some thoughts may be triggered once you've heard me tell you." She said shakily, it seems like she can hardly speak of it without getting emotional. "It was the day after you proposed to me. We had went back to my house that night to celebrate. You woke up and was going to go spend some time with Nathan at your apartment. You were only a few minutes away from your apartment building, when three guys pushed you back into a dark alley and began beating you and trying to take your stuff. They were kicking you in the side and then when you would try to yell for help, they all three starting kicking you as hard as possible. You managed to yell as loud as you could and that's when they were using the same force, but to your head. You had some broken ribs and were in a coma because of your head injuries. You managed to limp to your apartment before you blacked out. Nathan quickly got ready after the emergency services arrived, and called me and told me to meet him at the hospital. But he could barely tell me anything. You were fading in and out of your conversation with him, so what you were saying didn't really make sense. There was a cop that saved your life, if he wouldn't have came down the alley they would have killed you. But someone else that was a member of the game, came up behind him and shot him in the head. I don't know if you witnessed it or not." She was trying her hardest to explain to me.
"I remember it now. I remember everything. I did witness the cop being killed. His blood...it splattered all of the walls of the alley. They tried to steal everything I had. I left my keys in the alley. Were the ever caught?" I said shakily.
"Yes" Nathan said, "They caught them shortly after everything happened. The cop had called for backup before he went to help, luckily they arrived as the gang was getting ready to leave."
"I love you so much, I thought we were going to lose you" Catherine said as she hugged me gently.
"Well, you haven't lost me yet!" I exclaimed.
But then, I got "the feeling" again and last time I felt that way, I ended up in a coma for seven months. What could POSSIBLY be worse than that? Well I was soon to find out. The doctors had to keep me in the hospital until Februay 3rd which was only a week. I either had Catherine, Nathan, or both by my side during that week. When I got out, the doctors told me that I needed to get more rest. So Nathan said that Catherine could stay in our apartment for a little bit if she wanted to. Of course, she took that chance.
"So when is your due date?" I asked Catherine excitedly
"In just fifteen days, my due date is February 18th. Now it's just a matter of time." She said with excitement.
"What are you having? I feel like a terrible father not knowing what my baby is." I said quickly
"It's a boy!" she said with great excitement. I can't believe that in just a few weeks I would be holding my baby boy in my arms. Everthing seems so surreal, like I was in a fantasy land. Everything seemed to be going so perfectly, you know except for the coma part. But that's in the past. My future was looking so bright and wonderful, but that changed very quickly.
It was Valentines Day, so Catherine and I were going to have a picnic at the place we first met. Luckily it was sunny and dry outside, but it was very cold. We bundled up and got everything ready for the picnic. But as we were walking out the door, Catherine looked at me.
"My water just broke." She sounded a little scared. "It's time!" She said with excitement disregarding her last comment filled with fear.
"Hurry come on!" I said
So many different thoughts were going through my head at that moment. I've heard so many stories about the woman dying after giving birth, the baby dying during birth. Could that happen to my Catherine? Or my baby boy? I tried to shake those kinds of thoughts, but they just kept creeping back into my mind. "The feeling" ran through me once again, I knew that I could not disregard it this time. What was going to happen that was so bad this time? We began our walk to the hospital which was less than half a mile away. Luckily I had stayed the night at Catherine's place the night before, or she would have been on her own on the trip to the hospital. Living in New York, we walked pretty much everywhere, and I've always heard that walking helps induce labor. So this was a win/win situation, aside from the fact that it was almost fourteen degrees farenheit which is pretty cold. But luckily we had already planned on wearing plenty of clothes because we really wanted to picnic in the same spot as where we first met on Valentines day. It was also a late one year Anniversary of thembeginning our relationship, considering I was in a coma through our anniversary.
"Have you thought of any names yet?" I asked
"A few, what about you?" She stopped for a second then started walking faster.
"No not really, I've just been thinking about what happned." I said in a monotone voice.
"Well once we get to the hospital we can talk about it some more. Right now, let's focus on getting there." She said surprisingly patiently. We arrived to the hospital and went directly to the front desk.
"My fiance's water broke." I said frantically but Catherine patted my back to assure me that everything was okay.
"Okay sir, follow me." The nurse said as she got up and lead us through the doors and into a hallway.
We got settled into the room and Catherine and I began talking about names again.
"I really want to name him Daniel." She said shakily.
"Of course we can name him whatever you want, but is something bothering you?" I asked
"It's...it's just Daniel was my father's name." As she said this, I could see her getting depressed.
"Well uh, where is he now?" I asked. I knew that was a bad idea. She began crying. I walked over to comfort her. After I got her calmed down she finally spoke.
"My father, Daniel, died when I was only eight years old. He found out he had cancer when I was six and managed to live two years. Coincidentally he died on Valentines Day, when our son will be born." She said with tears in her voice. "I miss him so much." She said "I can remember him playing with me like it was yesterday. I remember one time when I was seven or eight, it's one of the most cliche things ever, he would pick me up under my arms and swing me around in a circle." She sighed "I really really miss him."
"We can definitely name him Daniel, honey. I love you so much and we will give our son a fantastic family." I said with enthusiasm.
We checked into the hospital at around 11 AM, she didn't start pushing until 7 PM.
"Congratulations you two now have a baby boy!" The nurse said as she handed Daniel to Catherine. As we were both staring in astonishment at our newborn baby boy Daniel, a doctor walked in.
"Ms. Catherine, I have some good news and some bad news." The doctor said. "Good news first: You can take your baby home with you in two days." The doctor began to look depressed, "I always hate this part. The bad news: according to the blood work that we have been analyzing from a few days ago, you have a hereditary type of cancer." Catherine and I both looked at eachother and burst into tears.
"I don't want to lose you" I managed to choke out whilst crying.
"And I don't want to leave you or Daniel" She said doing the same as I did.
"It looks like it is too late to do anything about it. I'm very sorry that I have had to tell you two about this. It always saddens me to do so." He said as he walked out the door. "Take care" He said as he closed the door.
"Do you mind if I move in with you? I want to spend your last few weeks with you and my son." I asked.
"Of course!" She exclaimed.
"Well I'm going to go gather my things. I'll see you later" I said as I bent down to kiss her and Daniel's forehead. I took a slow walk home that night to recollect all of my thoughts and reflect on everything that had just happened. My first son had just born, and I had just found out that I was going to lose the love of my life. This is what God was trying to tell me to prepare for. Why did bad things always happen to me? Was it God testing my faith, well he definitely did that time.
I arrived at the apartment building and walked to my apartment. The door was locked so I fumbled around in my pocket for the keys, I put the key in the door and slowly turned the key and opened the door.
"Nathan, I'm home!" I said as I opened the door. No answer. I thought to myself, maybe he was just at work. He had taken my spot at the cafe which I had absolutely no problem with. I found my suitcase and packed everything I owned. It didn't all fit, so I remember I had to find my old backpack to put stuff in. I went into the bathroom to gather up all of the medicine that I had. But as I opened the medicine cabinet, a sinister plan was conjuring in my mind.
"Maybe, this is my way out. Maybe if I take my own life, Catherine's won't be taken." I whisper but as I continued on I began yelling and scrambling to open the bottle. "I'm not fit to be a father, or a husband. I'm worthless! I've done NOTHING good in this life except hurt everyone around me. I've ALWAYS been the annoying one. But this will be the LAST time I hurt anyone." I said as I opened the bottle and poured the small white pills into my hands, and swallowed them all in one gulp. Nathan opened the bathroom door and saw what I was doing.
"ALEXAVIER WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" He yelled "STOP!" He yelled again as I found the strongest medicine in the cabinet. I opened it and as I was pouring them into my hand, he grabbed my wrists and slung the bottle out of my right hand and the pills out of my other hand. I began crying.
"I'm a terrible father, and I'd be a terrible husband." I choked out while crying as Nathan wrapped his arms around me. We stayed like there for a long time. Nathans large arms wrapped around my skinny self. Just sitting there crying into his shoulder. After a while, he helped me out into the living room and sat me down. He got me a glass of water and I sipped on it as he called poison control. Luckily he knew exactly what I took and how many were left, I'm so thankful that he always kept track of that.
"Poison control said you should be good, as long as you take nothing else for a couple of days." He said with a sense of relief.
"What did I take, and how many did I take?" I asked
"You took five generic acid reducer pills." He said as he sat down beside of me. We sat there for a couple of hours and I can remember how awkward everything was.
"Don't tell Catherine. Please" I blurted out.
"Don't worry, I won't. Just promise me you'll never try anything like that ever again." He said as he leaned in to hug me.
"I promise." I said as we locked together in a hug.
"I don't think I could function without my best friend." He said with a tear in his voice.
"Me either." I said
After a while, I told him the news the doctor had told us, and he was almost as saddened as I was. I told him that for the next few weeks, I'd be living with Catherine. But he understood completely, and said he'd be glad to help if we needed anything.
I started my journey back to the hospital with my suitcase and my backpack, I remembering being so thankful that Nathan walked into the bathroom when he did. I really would have made a huge mistake if he hadn't. Killing yourself is never the answer, and that's one of the things I learned from all of this. I finally got back to the hospital and went to the room that Catherine was in. She was just lying there with Daniel, who was sleeping.
"Hey honey," She whispered "What took you so long?"
"You know me, I had to triple check and make sure I got everything." I tried to whisper but couldn't.
I pulled a chair beside of her bed and laid my hand on hers, her warmth felt so good. Everything seemed perfect, somehow looking at Daniel and watching him sleep made all of my thoughts drift away. I forgot about the current situation.
"Can I hold him?" I asked quitely
"Of course you can, he's your son too you know." She said with a smile. As she handed him to me, I did that awkward thing that most guys do when they first hold a baby. I tried to figured out what exact way to hold him and I finally found the perfect way for him to lay. I sat there for hours sitting there holding him in my arms as Catherine slept. Eventualy, Daniel woke up and began crying. I didn't quite now what to do so I started rocking him, and singing to him. His crying diminished, and as I kissed his forehead, he stopped crying and fell back to sleep. Watching him drift back into sleep was a beautiful thing. Knowing that there will be countless nights of staying up and rocking Daniel to sleep, tired me out then. Even though I knew that I would lose many hours of sleep, I knew it would all be worth it in the end. But, I knew it was going to be hard to be a single parent, but people have done it in the past, so I saw no reason why I couldn't do it if anything ever happened to Catherine.
Two days after Daniel was born, we were able to leave the hospital. Not only was I glad to leave, but I was also a little depressed. I knew that in the weeks to come, Catherine would get sicker every day, and eventually she'd be gone. Unfortunately, I was right. Each day that passed, she seemed to grow weaker and weaker. I didn't want Daniel to be a burden on her, so I let her rest and did everything for him. But I was absolutely fine with that. The restless nights were getting a little old though, because Daniel would cry out twice if not three or four times a night waking Catherine and I both up. But as a parent, it's your responsibility to take care of your child, and restless nights are just part of it, I learned that as time went on. But eventually the day came. I woke up not to the sound of Daniel crying, but to Catherine crying. The feeling struck me and I knew that today, would be the day. I tried to comfort her but nothing seemed to work, so we just went to bed and were cuddled up to eachother for hours.
When it was time for sunrise, I opened the curtains in the bedroom to let the sun shine. Unfortuantely as I opened the curtains, there was no sunshine. Only dark gray clouds, to reflect my internal mood, but on the outside I tried to keep a positive mood. Snow covered the ground outside. Honestly, aside from the dreary clouds, it was beautiful outside that day. I was in the living room watching television with Daniel as I heard a yell come from the bed room. I put him in his crib and ran into the bedroom to see that Catherine had fallen in the floor. I knew this was the time. As I lifted her up into the bed, her heartbeat was getting slower almost by the second. I looked at the clock and it read 12:20. We were lying there with her head on my chest and her arms wrapped around me. I kissed her forehead and we began talking about our short life together. Everything we had done that was important was mentioned. Daniel must have fallen asleep because he had not made one sound. I looked over at the clock and it read 3:44, but as 3:45 hit, Catherine began to speak.
"I...Love...You." She managed to mutter out and I said I love you too thinking nothing of it but after no response I looked down. The life seemed to strip away from her. I knew that she was gone, so I kissed her forehead and shut her eyes. I stood up to take one last look at the scenery from this apartment then shut the curtains. I started gathering everything and after I was doing I called Nathan.
"Everything okay?" He asked frantically
"She's gone. Can you come help me pack up?" I asked in a monotone voice.
"I'll be right there." He said plainly.
I called 911 and told them what was going on. The ambulance arrived and took her away. Later that day I got a call about the autopsy. They said she died at 12:20. But that's impossible, We interacted for another three hours after that! I guess God spared me a little more time with her spirit. I knew that she was in a better place then, and I'm sure she still is. Free from all the pain, free from all the suffering, that's all I ever wanted for her. Nathan agreed to help take care of Daniel with me.
Catherine didn't have many friends, and all of her family was dead or lived on the other side of the country now. I contacted all of them and wanted their approval before I did this. I wanted her body cremated and put into a jar. After her body was cremated, her ashes were put in a beautiful urn. I made a special place in the apartment dedicated to her. I put a shelf up with a photo of us together, her urn, and the picture that I was drawing at the time I first met her. I felt I needed to do this, even though I was already at peace with the situation. I felt she needed respect payed to her.
Most people would have been depressed for weeks, or even months about the death of a loved one, which is absolutely fine. It may seem rude to you, but here is the way I look at it. As a human being, we only have so much time on this Earth. We need to cherish that time. We do not need to spend our life being depressed, or angry at someone. We need to live our life, the way it was intended to be lived. Everyone has a purpose on this Earth, or God would not have created you. If you waste your time throwing a pity party for yourself, you won't do anything worthwhile. Sometimes you really just need to move on. Sometimes you just need to live, and let go.
Written by: Derek Tanner Easterling