Behind Sanity
Chapter Thirty
1
Wendy’s fingers gathered the material of her thick, winter dress. Sitting beside Tommy in front of Doctor Robertson was not the most desirable place in the world she could think to be, especially judging by the look on the man’s face. This was not going to be good news.
Robertson sat quietly for a moment, flipping through some papers. Wendy wondered what they were about, and knew that shortly she would find out, whether she really wanted to or not. Alice…or Morgan? Though she loved them both and didn’t fancy losing any either one, she had lived without Alice once. She could never imagine herself living without Morgan.
Tommy sat in the chair beside hers uneasily. She took his hand when she saw how tightly he was gripping the arm of the chair. She hoped to calm him down for the news, while in her chest her own heart was beating rapidly. Robertson looked up at them slowly over the top of his small glasses.
“Mr. and Mrs. Madison,” he addressed. “I’m sure you know why you’re here. You know it is, of course, to talk about your daughter and about Alice Liddell.”
“You’re going to tell us something bad, aren’t you?” asked Tommy.
Wendy squeezed his hand lightly, making way for the doctor to continue.
“We have done several tests on your daughter. As far as we can tell, she is as healthy as she ever was,” he said.
“Then, what’s wrong with her?” demanded Tommy.
“I believe that whatever’s wrong with your daughter is purely in her mind.”
“Meaning…?” asked her father.
“Meaning that whatever is keeping Morgan asleep is mental, not because there is something wrong with her body functions. I don’t mean to discourage you, but this sort of situation has – ” He paused a moment. “– never been cured.”
A slow stream of tears began to flood into Wendy’s eyes.
“I believe that there is an answer,” Robertson quickly, trying to assure them that he had hopes. “And I will keep trying to work with your daughter as well as I can. I also believe that the answer may perhaps lie within Alice.”
A bit of hope settled into Wendy’s heart. Her tears stopped momentarily, just in time to see the doctor’s face fall slightly.
“Sadly, Alice has withdrawn herself from me. I can no longer work with her, and so I am forced to give her up.”
“What about Morgan?” Tommy asked, unrelenting.
“All I can do for her is work with what I know. We are calling in someone new for Alice. If he can find the answers in her mind, perhaps we can help Morgan, but, until that time, you two will not able to see either of them. I’m sorry.”
Wendy had already broken down in tears, though she tried to hold them back. Tommy took his wife’s arm and began to rise, but the aid did little for a mother’s heart.
“I’m sorry it had to be like this,” said Robertson. “I had hopes. Still do. But for now, I think this is the best thing.”
The doctor showed them to the door. Wendy exited first, but Tommy lingered for a few moments, and behind her, she heard him speak.
“Just do whatever you can,” he said. “For Morgan…and Alice, too.”
Robertson nodded sorrowfully.
“We are,” he assured him. Wendy didn’t want to believe that.
2
Robertson leaned against the back of his office door after the two had left. That was the kind of news that he hated to deliver – especially since this made him feel like a failure. He took a deep breath and kept trying to tell himself that it wasn’t his fault. At least the Madisons were understanding. Such news would be difficult for anyone.
Looking back towards his desk, John caught sight of something in the shadows, and a scowl fell across his face. Someone was in his office without being invited. He looked back at his desk with complete and utter contempt.
“What do you want?”
3
Alice’s eyelashes slowly fluttered and she awoke to the sound of churning water. Her body felt weak and her head was throbbing with pain, but she could breathe. The last thing she remembered was a great shadow coming over her as she was swimming with the Mock Turtle. Now, she found herself here.
She was still in the water, but she was laying on a slanted platform of some sort. Her legs and arms were hanging off into the pool, but from her waist up, she was chilled in the cool air. Her hair – which she noticed had miraculously grown back to its full length since she’d cut it – was beginning to dry, and so was her dress. She must have been laying here for quite a while. But where was she?
She looked around at the dull scenery. To her right, there was a churning waterwheel, pulling black water from a river. The water here was calm and undisturbed, save for the waterwheel. In the distance, she heard the chime of a clock. The sound penetrated through her mind and caused her to sit up, despite her weariness.
Before her in her sight was a bridge of grey stone over the black water, and sitting there, she couldn’t help but notice that the sky was dark and dotted with stars, but was covered by thin drifting clouds that reminded her – of all things – of the squares on a chess board. She scooted herself backwards on the platform, withdrawing her legs from the cold liquid. Finally, a voice reached her ears.
“You’re awake! Good. I was beginning to worry.”
Her eyes drifted toward the water and to her surprise, there drifted the Mock Turtle.
“How did you…? What happened?” she asked.
“The fish spit us out,” he said. “Go figure. There was just enough air inside his stomach to revive you first. But personally, I think you didn’t quite agree with him. So he spit us both out!”
“Well, I’m grateful, but it’s still quite the insult,” she said, rising and wringing the water out of her dress. “So where are we?”
“The Pale Realm,” he explained.
The Pales… Yes; she remembered. On Wonderland’s enormous chessboard, they went about in constant war with the other side, the Reds. She had heard mention of this. Since the Queen of Hearts and the Red Queen were one and the same now, White was constantly defending in a game they could never win. Glancing around at the black and white land, she wondered how she hadn’t recognized this place earlier.
“That would explain the scenery,” she stated.
“You should fit right in. But be careful, Alice,” the turtle warned. “White is a potential ally, but they are at war with Red. The Chess pieces can get rather suspicious at times.”
“I will remember that,” she said, walking up the ramp. “Oh, and thank you for saving my life.”
“I’m sure you’ll return the favor later,” he said with a smile on his bull’s lips. “Be careful, Alice.”
She watched as the turtle submerged and swam off through the water. Now to get down to business. White could be friendly, could it? She would have to make sure she played this game to its fullest then.
Alice’s thoughts were disturbed by a low rumbling laughter near her. Turning, she saw the long-overdue, smiling face of the cat, perched atop the grey stone railing of the bridge, his tail twitching gleefully.
“What are you laughing at?” she demanded without the least bit of tolerance.
“You look like a drowned rat,” he mused.
“By that I take you to mean: ‘You look good enough to eat’, in which case I’ll take the complement. Sorry I can’t return one.”
The cat winced in mock pain at her comment, but was still obviously pleased.
“Really, if you have nothing useful to say, please don’t speak,” she said. “I believe you’re a little late at showing up.”
“Who? Me? I’m never late. Actually, I had no idea I was supposed to show up. I don’t much care for water anyway.”
“Far be it for you to have to bring yourself down to help me.”
The cat chuckled once again. “Now you’re catching on.”
Alice began to walk away from the feline. He hoped down from the rail to scurry after her.
“You’re always so touchy,” he teased.
“If you would lend a helping paw every once in a while, perhaps I wouldn’t be,” she said, walking on through the quiet black and white town.
“Are you forgetting the Dodo incident?” he reminded her.
“I’ve already thanked you for that,” she replied.
“You’re still mad about earlier, aren’t you?” he asked, darting through her moving legs so that she couldn’t walk.
“That’s very annoying,” she warned, stumbling a bit.
“Are you going to gut me?’ he taunted, sitting down in her path.
“Don’t tempt me.”
“Why don’t we make a truce?” he proposed. “I’ll stop trying to annoy you if you promise not to be mad.”
“We’re all mad, right?” she asked.
“Using a phrase in a different context does not make it a worthy comeback,” he hissed victoriously.
She smirked in mild amusement.
“We can’t have a truce because you won’t hold your end,” she pointed out, walking on.
“Why would you believe that?”
“Because you do only what suits you at the moment,” she reminded him.
The Cheshire smiled further. She was right.
“Why is it so quiet around here?” she asked, stopping short in the town’s black and white court square.
The only sound was the water churning in the distance and the ticking of the large clock overhead.
“The war with Red has broken them down,” said the cat. “Most are hiding now, but some still patrol. Many stay in the castle. Of course, there are battles being fought as we speak. The Queen wants the White forces on her side, but now they are neutral, resisting all they can.”
“So, I must convince them to fight the good fight?”
“That’s two points for you today,” he said, sauntering along before her.
Alice remembered this also from years before. Red and White were always at war. Red had always been overcome with greed, and had been trying to take over White for as long as Alice could remember. But oh well. That was simply how the game was played. Soon though, it seemed that this eternal battle would find its check.
“I can’t stand this silence!” she burst. “There is absolutely no one around!”
“Perhaps they think you’re a spy for Red and are hiding – waiting for the exact moment when they might pounce!” exclaimed the cat, appearing in front of her on a drably-colored barrel.
She looked at him in annoyance. He shrugged his thinning shoulders.
“It was just a suggestion,” he said.
Alice drew her eyes away from the cat and peered around her, looking intently for a clue.
How curious!
Where was everyone in this town? Should she call out for assistance? She needed answers! As Alice thought of what her decision should be, through an arc of black and white blocks came an elderly Bishop. The priestly piece looked as he should, his head adorned with a tall hat declaring his station, but Alice knew, of course, that the hat as just as much a part of his body as his hands and face. He carried a staff in one hand and hovered easily across the tiles in a diagonal fashion. The Bishop halted, however, once he caught sight of her.
“Good day, sir,” said Alice as friendly as possible, though wondering if she should have addressed him as ‘father’ or something of that sort.
“Who are you?” he demanded, raising his staff. “A spy for the Queen no doubt!”
The Bishop squinted at her through blurry eyes and Alice shook her head vigorously.
“No. I’m Alice,” she corrected.
“Alice, you say?” he asked, skeptically.
“Yes.”
The Bishop tried to look at her a few more moments, but then lifted his nose to sniff the air.
“Come closer,” he said.
Alice picked up her feet to move forward as he’d asked.
“Wait! What are you doing?!” the Bishop demanded suddenly.
“I – I was coming closer like you sa – ”
“How dare you, child! I said nothing of the sort!” he protested.
“Yes you did!” Alice insisted. “Didn’t he, Ca – ”
She turned her head all around her, looking for the mangy feline. He was nowhere in sight. Her eyes narrowed in anger. Where was he off to now? Of all the unreliable…
“I beg your pardon,” Alice said directing her attention back to the Bishop. “But you very well did!”
He stared a few moments longer until he could no longer contain himself. The piece before her began to laugh hysterically.
“What’s so funny?” she demanded.
“I’m only jesting with you, Alice!” he screamed with laughter. “Though it is hardly the time to laugh, I couldn’t resist a little joke! Come! The King must see you!”
Alice smiled, glad the it was only a joke. She would hate to have had to kill this poor old piece. The bishop led her on, moving diagonally across the black and white checkered floor. Alice saw it quite unnecessary to follow his exact movements, so she simply let herself drift back behind him.
She followed him on for a while, until she heard a noise disturbing the quiet scenery. She lifted her eyes to look around. What?
She searched the roofs of the buildings around her as the Bishop rounded the corner. Standing there, the first thing Alice looked for was any sign of color in this dull place. If the noise had been made by the Pales, then there was no threat. It was an attack of the colored kind that she was worried about. Even so, she saw nothing.
Hearing a loud shriek from around the corner, Alice broke out of her trance and ran onward, only to round the corner and find the poor old bishop on the ground with a spear though him. She bent down and scooped him up to see if he was still alive.
Breathing slow and choking on blood, the bishop raised his eyes to peer behind Alice and raised a finger in horror, though he couldn’t speak. She jerked back behind her to find two Knights of Red hopping toward her on their bases rapidly, moving in L-shaped patterns. The horse head carvings with swords and shields were upon her too quickly for her to move. Alice shielded her eyes. Would this be her doom?
Hearing rapid movement to the other side of her, Alice dared to look up just in time to see two large muscled Rooks of White leap over her head and attack the Knights.
Thank goodness!
She looked down to the Bishop she had been trying to protect, but it was far too late for him. He was gone. Though her sympathy went out to him deeply, she snapped from her thoughts of remorse when she noticed a strange sensation in her hand. Peering down, she saw a small rectangular object. Half of it was in her hand, but the Bishop was holding to the other half. A gift?
Pulling the object slowly from his hand, Alice found herself looking at a card. But this card was nothing ordinary. Each side of this card was razor sharp, and this small object was heavier than normal. What to do with it?
“It’s your deal, Alice,” said the cat, reappearing on the ledge before her. “Perhaps you should shuffle.”
Looking down at the card in her hand, she reached her other hand over to it and pulled slightly. Another card came off in her hand. Now there were two cards. She tried this motion again. Now there were three! Using both her hands to hold the cards, she moved to spread out her hands. The number of cards multiplied to fill the space as far as she spread!
Looking behind her, she saw the Rooks with their crowed tower heads putting up a good fight, but it appeared that the sides were even – just as the Caterpillar and Mock Turtle had said! The sides would always be even in strength.
Taking a handful of the cards, Alice threw them forward and hit one of the Red Knights. The piece stumbled backwards, giving the Rook enough leeway to throw a strong punch and smash the Knight into tiny pebbles. She took another handful of the cards and flung them at the other Knight. This time, they sliced through the hard make of the Red piece and made it collapse in lifeless slabs. Opposition had been removed from this brief battle.
The Rooks then turned to face her, crossing their huge, muscular arms without words. Alice wasn’t quite sure what to think. Were they threatening to fight her as well?
“They don’t say much,” said the cat, coming up beside her. “You should just follow them. And don’t worry. They can move in a straight line. None of that quirky, pattern behavior.”
“And where have you been?” she reprimanded with anger in her eyes. “You ran away just when the situation was looking dangerous!”
“I saw the Reds watching you from afar. I thought you might need a royal escort or two,” he said motioning towards the two Rooks.
Alice sighed. She couldn’t show her gratitude. Not this time. She was far too stubborn. She disregarded the feline.
“Lead on,” she said simply to the rooks.
The two of them turned slowly and began to lead the way to the royal keep. The cat behind Alice shook his head, but didn’t follow.
“What next?” he called after her.
Alice turned back to him abruptly.
“What?” she snapped.
“Whoever said too much of a good thing is not enough, speaks the truth,” he sneered.
“What does that mean?”
“Whoever said too much of a good thing must be bad tells a lie.”
The cat stopped then to laugh at his own insanity. Alice shook her head.
“What are you talking about?”
“Your tolerance has fallen short,” he said. “Though you should be firm, you shouldn’t isolate yourself from those who might be helpful.”
“Like you?” she asked, placing her hands on her hips. “Are you getting mad at me now?”
“We’re all mad, remember,” he reminded her.
“Using a phrase in a different context doesn’t make it a proper comeback,” she quoted.
“Ah! So you do listen to what I say after all.”
“You don’t give me enough credit,” she said sharply.
“Really?” he asked. “And I suppose that is to convince me that you aren’t forgetful either.”
“No,” she said. “I’m not.”
“I see,” said the cat, beginning to fade away, pausing only to look back and forth, then to look back at her with a satisfied grin. “So, where’s Rabbit?”
Rabbit! She had forgotten… Damn that feline! Unfortunately, it was a fine question. Rabbit was supposed to meet her when she came out on the other side of the vale, though she wasn’t quite sure she had wound up where she was supposed to. Where was Rabbit?
An abrupt noise behind Alice caused her body to jerk. The Rooks were ready to depart. She nodded to them and moved to follow close behind. Alice stuffed the razor cards that were left into her pocket. If they were to keep multiplying, she would have quite a helpful hand indeed.
The Rooks led her onto a small elevator and pressed the button to take them up. Alice couldn’t help but let her mind wander through all this. So, everyone in Wonderland was once a human. They had all had human minds and bodies. They had all been sane once. Even these silent Rooks had once been human? Even those Red Knights she had killed? They too had been human? She didn’t much like the thought of killing people if it wasn’t their fault. They were simply insane. Could they really be blamed? Oh well. She supposed that those who stood in her way must be removed somehow.
Soon, the elevator came to a halt and the Rooks exited off onto a stone platform ahead. Before her, Alice could see more pieces standing about. While it may have been expected that the interior of a King’s castle would be elaborately built and filled with fine things, the area Alice stepped onto was not quite a picturesque throne room. There was a flat stretch of checked floor, and then the world seemed to end. Perhaps, as far as this land was concerned, this was the edge of the world. There were no restraining walls, and no ceiling to block the night sky. There were two Knights flanking the King’s throne, where he sat regally. Beside his throne was a smaller seat. The Queen’s throne. But she was not there.
“Alice,” the King addressed. “Come here, my girl.”
She looked down at herself. She was still quite wet and her hair was matted and tangled. She was truly no sight to be presented before royalty, but what was she to do? Stepping forward, she placed the vorpal blade between her teeth and offered a grand curtsey, dripping water and blood on the pale tiles.
“Alice, it is good to see you again,” said the White King.
“Thank you, sire,” she said. “Always a pleasure.”
“I had hoped that I would not have to call upon you, Alice,” the King said regretfully. “We hoped not to become a part of this war, but times have become desperate.”
“What’s happening?” she asked.
“Red has greatly damaged our forces. They have captured our Queen!”
“And you want to ask me to get her back?” she guessed.
“The time seems right, now,” he said. “I would not ask for such a favor if it wasn’t extremely necessary. I hadn’t wanted to get you involved. I hoped to keep my kingdom neutral.”
“I’m very sorry to say this, but I will have to insist that if you aren’t with me, you are against me,” she said.
“Which is why I am asking you this. If you do not succeed in helping us, the White forces will be taken over by the Queen. We will be forced to be against you. I would much rather be on the side of the Champion.”
“A wise decision,” she mused.
“I am glad to hear you say this,” said the King. “You will help us?”
Alice nodded.
“I will do what I can,” she promised.
The King nodded cordially.
“I will have my Rooks escort you to the gates,” he said.
Alice once again followed behind the Rooks, dismissing the chess war for the time and instead wondering many things about the Cheshire Cat. Why was he being so intolerant of her all of a sudden? He didn’t like any of her methods? Perhaps it was her fault. Or perhaps it was simply that feline temperament. But there was yet another thing that she knew now: he was a human inside there, which meant that, to some degree, he must have thought like a human. That was an issue for another time, however. There was something more important, and that was this: Where was Rabbit? Would Cat have mentioned it if it wasn’t imperative for her to know where the furry creature was?
Though these things bothered her, she would have to get back to the task at hand. She was to save the White Queen single-handedly. But with the help of her toy collection, she foresaw no real difficulty.