234, 235, 236, 237, 238, 239 -
I get interrupted from pacing and counting my steps when Nick comes into the room with two coffees in his hands. He sets them down on the table and holds his arms out and I step into them immediately.
He kisses my head. "Babe, you're going to be fine."
"What if I totally blank? Or forget one of my lines? Or she asks me something that I don't know how to answer? Or-"
He holds my face in his hands and stares at me, effectively cutting me off.
"Sara. Ellen has been informed of your condition, and you know all of the questions she's going to ask, remember that letter we got in the mail, stating everything that's going to go on during this interview? Hun, you don't need to worry."
My condition.
I nod my head and look up just as Ellen is going to commerical.
"When we come back, Sara Alexander will be sitting right here!" She says, pointing to the red seat beside her. The show cuts out to commerical and I look at Nick, my eyes wide.
He grins at me. "It'll be fun, trust me. Ellen's hilarious."
I nod. I know this. Every since I got the letter in the mail saying that she wants me on the show, I've spent every moment almost watching her show, seeing what's she's like.
"Yeah, it'll be fine." I murmur to myself.
A crew member comes in suddenly, "You have about three minutes, Sara!" She says, smiling at me.
I nod, "Thanks."
She grins and leaves the room and Nick sits down on the couch. "I'll be watching from here babe. It'll be great." He says, grinning.
I smile and walk out the door, turning sharply at the corner and walking down the long corridor until I hit the hallway where I stand waiting. I watch the remaining commercials that will be aired with the episode and then the show comes back on.
Ellen smiles at the camera, "Our first guest is idolized by millions of teenagers around the country, you know her from being one half of 'Nara', Sara Alexander!" Ellen stands up and I take a deep breath, walking out of the large doors and into the blinding lights.
Pitbull's "Timber" is playing as I walk out and I move my arms awkwardly to the beat, and smile at Ellen. She grins back and she hugs me tightly as soon as I reach her.
"You'll be fine, hun." She whispers in my ear.
As we pull back I smile at her in thanks.
The music fades out as we sit down and Ellen throws her hands up slightly. "So how have you been? It's been awhile since you've been here!"
I nod, "Yeah it's crazy, a little over a year I think." I say and she nods back.
"So the last time you were here we were talking about your latest album 'Peace in my heart' and now you have a new album out," She takes it from the table and looks at it. "'After'. What inspired this?"
"Well, this past year has been a big one for me. A lot of things have happened, some good, some bad. I've really been tested in different ways, my morals have been put to the test. But in the end, after everything, I'm me. The little things that don't matter can't change a person in the long run. When you have friends and family helping you through everything you can come out of it smiling." The audience breaks into a loud applause and I grin, I guess it was good enough. I was hoping it was, I'd been practicing it for the last few weeks.
She smiles at me, "Wow, what a message! So how is everything now? I mean with the accident, and all that hospital time. It must've been hard to get back into things."
I nod, "It definitely was, it was a change that I had to make within myself definitely, but I got it. With all the support of everyone around me and the constant loving support from my fans I have and will continue to pull through." The audience cheers again and I smile wide.
She looks at me, and I sense a hint of respect in her eyes that wasn't there before.
"You truly are an inspiration Sara. Not only for all of your fans but for the whole population in general. The things you've been through, and to just come out of it shining like that..." She shakes her head and looks at the crew members that are shaking their head at her. I'm startled to see this, I can tell she wasn't supposed to say that. "It's amazing." She finishes and then looks at the camera. "We have to go to break, more with Sara when we get back!" She says, seeming to have recovered herself.
The camera people signal to us that it's commercial and she turns to me, taking my hand. "Wow."
My eyes widen and I just stare. I don't know what she means.
She smiles. "Sorry hun, it's just... you are a serious inspiration for everyone, weither you see it or not. It really is an honor to... meet you." She says, laughing.
I nod, smiling. "Yes, it's an honor to meet you again. You're so understanding, and it's amazing. Thank you."
She shakes her head. "Anytime, doll."
The crew signals again and she straightens up. "Ready for the real stuff?" She asks.
I turn my head. "Real stuff?"
"The relationship talk. It's brutal." She grins.
I laugh. "Oh yeah. So ready."
They signal that we're on again and Ellen smiles at the camera. "We're back with Sara Alexander! So, I've been wanting to ask you, how is Nara?"
I smile. "Perfectly fine. We're really happy, he's been so great. I really don't know what I'd do without him."
She grins. "Nara is all the talk these days. I was grocery shopping the other day." She looks at the camera. "Yes. I do my own grocery shopping." The audience and I laugh.
"Anyway, I was shopping and literally," She pulls about five magazines up from the table. "You were on every single magazine." She goes through them and they all come onto the big screen behind us.
I nod. "Yeah, it's insane."
She puts them down. "Also I've been reading stuff about you online."
I fake apprehension. "Oh no, what now?"
She laughs and then gets serious, "Give that monkey back to the zoo."
I burst out laughing, clutching my knees. I did not see that coming.
She's laughing just as much as I am and the audience is just kind of awkwardly laughing, having no idea what we're talking about.
"I really saw that on the internet! A 'witness'," she says holding up air quotes, "Saw you taking a monkey from the zoo!"
I'm still chuckling, but I've calmed down. "Yes, it's absolutely crazy what people come up with." I look at the audience. "Just to let you guys know, the monkey is mine. I'm not giving it back." The audience breaks out into loud laughs and I grin. Ellen is laughing to and I think, this isn't so bad. Not really. It's fun.
Ellen touches my knee. "We'll be right back. More with Sara." She says into the camera and then leans back into the chair when the crew signals.
"You are a hoot, Sara." She says, chuckling.
I smile. "Thanks, I didn't know you were going to mention that!" I say and she laughs again. "I had to, how could I not? It was ridiculous!"
I nod, "It was."
"So how are you, really?" She asks, clutching my hand.
"I'm good. It's been difficult but I've survived." I say and smile. She smiles at me and the crew signals again.
She looks at the camera, "So we're back with Sara..."
The rest of the interview goes like that and when it's done, I'm actually sad. It was really fun and I can see myself doing more of these types of things in the future.
I walk back into the room and Nick engulfs me into a hug. "You were awesome, babe!"
I laugh, hugging him back tightly. "Thanks, it was so fun. Ellen's great."
He smiles at me and takes my hand. "Let's go out to lunch, I'm starving!"
~*~
We settle on a place called Nandos and find that they have amazing chicken.
"We definitely have to come here more." Nick says and I nod in agreement.
He looks at me. "So a monkey, huh?"
I laugh at him. "Oh my god, I will never be able to live this down."
He shakes his head. "I'm sorry, I just can't believe that. It's so stupid."
I laugh. "It is."
He grins and opens his mouth to speak again but is interrupted.
"Sara." A girl is walking up to us. "Sara freaking Alexander, oh my god."
I look over at Nick in panic. I don't know who she is, that means I met her within the last four years.
But Nick is completely pale, looking at the girl. It's like he's seen a ghost.
I take his hand. "Nick, tell me who she is before she gets here. I don't know her name!"
He shakes his head. "Shit."
It's too late now, she's already at the table. "How are you?" She gushes, pulling me into a hug.
I laugh awkwardly. "I'm fine, uhm.. you?"
She grins at me as she pulls away, "I'm fine. Perfectly fine. How is everything?"
I look at Nick, but he's looking at her, his eyes wide in panic. I furrow my eyebrows. Who is this girl?
"I'm great." I say, looking between her and Nick.
She smiles, "I bet you guys are wondering about-" Nick stands up. "Can I talk to you for a second please, Caren?"
Caren. Okay.
She nods at him, startled. "Okay."
He ushers her over to a nearby table and I look at him quizzically. He just smiles, I sit back down and take a drink. Weird.
A few minutes later she walks over to me, well.. rather storms over to me. Nick is on her heels. He's begging her, "Caren, please don't do this!"
"She has a right to know Nick! This isn't right! She lost everything with that accident, four years of her fucking life! I am not going to keep this from her!"
He tries to quiet her down and talk low, but I hear it, "We're going to tell her, just not now. Please, don't."
She shakes her head and he puts his hands in his hair.
She pulls a chair up next to me and Nick takes his seat. "Caren-"
"Either you tell her or I will." She says to him, her face containing all seriousness.
I look between the two of them in utter confusion.
"What the fuck is going on?" I ask, and Nick looks at me.
He doesn't say anything and Caren speaks.
"You have a daughter Sara. Her name is Rain, she's three years old and I'm her adoptive mother."