Uriah
It's while I'm looking for Marlene, hoping she will hang out with me tonight, that I check the training room and see Tris sitting against a wall. She's curled up in a ball, her arms around her shins and her head resting on her knees.
"Tris?" I sit down right next to her and wrap an arm around her hunched shoulders. "What's wrong? Did something happen with Four?" She shakes her head but doesn't look up for a moment. She turns her head to face me, one cheek still resting on her knees.
"I screwed something up, I think," she says. "I tried to get Eric not to hang Christina over the chasm yesterday. Stood up for her. Now... now I think maybe... it seems like he's... interested in me." Oh, gross. I'd be upset if I were in her shoes, too. "And I just feel like I'm messing up all the things that are supposed to happen, and what if Four never falls in love with me now?"
Four not falling for Tris seems impossible to me, but ... she isn't the same as she was when they fell in love before. Back then, she was a little girl from Abnegation just beginning to come out of her shell. This time, she's been through so much. She has ranked first in initiation, almost died a good half dozen times, fought a war, been tortured and experimented on by Jeanine Matthews, and watched her parents die. She has killed people and learned to live with it, been betrayed by her own brother and still forgiven and died for him. And she is in love with Four. Even just that would make a difference.
No, she isn't the little girl from Abnegation that he fell in love with before. Tris is truly Dauntless now.
What about me? Am I the same person I was when Marlene and I fell in love before? Probably not. Like Tris, I've been through too much. I have been through a war, I have killed, I have fallen in love... I've lost the girl I love and my two best friends. I've even been outside the wall, and I have looked down at the world from high above it, like the birds. You can't go through all that and not come out changed.
I sigh. "What did we do the first time?" I ask. "What were we like then? Maybe that's how we need to be now. The old Uriah and Tris, not the ones we are now."
"And then what?" she asks. "That feels like tricking them. I can't have him fall in love with me pretending to be someone else, then suddenly become who I am now one day. That isn't fair to him. Same goes for you and Marlene." Tris lets out a deep sigh and rubs her face with both hands, then looks up at me again. "Do you think it's too late to back off from our friendship some? It seems like maybe people think we are a thing. What if Four and Marlene think that?" I nod. It's going to be hard going through all this without talking to Tris about all of it all the time. She's one of my best friends and the only one that understands what this is like.
"We can still be friends though, right? Just not look like we're as close as we have been?" I ask. She smiles and nods. "Okay, that's settled. Now what are we going to do about Eric?"
Tris shakes her head, then leans it against my shoulder. "I really don't know."
_____________________________________
Marlene
It's been two days since my talk with Shauna. Both yesterday and today, I have had to fight during training; I lost the first fight, which was against a boy named Ryker who is much bigger than me and put me in the infirmary for several hours with a minor concussion. In the second fight, which was this morning, I beat Rita, so I am feeling pretty good today. I've worked up the courage... I think, at least... to talk to Uriah.
That is, until I check the training room in my search for him. I look through the small pane of glass near the top of the door and there he is. Uriah is sitting against the wall with his arm around that Stiff, Tris. Her head is resting on his shoulder. My stomach twists as I back away from the door and every ounce of that courage I told myself I had worked up has suddenly disappeared. I just need to go somewhere... away from here. I need to sit and think. Alone.
When I get up to the roof, however, it seems alone isn't in the cards today. One of the transfers-- a blond boy, Erudite I think-- lies on the rooftop, staring up at the clouds. It's nearing dusk and it was a nice day today. The clouds must have been white and fluffy; the sunset reflects off of them, making them look pink and orange.
I should just find somewhere else. I have no idea where else to go, though. Dauntless isn't always the easiest place to keep to yourself in. With a sigh, I sit down next to the transfer. His hair is wavy and that super light blonde, the kind that would almost be white if it were any lighter. He's tall, strong. He has a strong jawline and a straight nose. Really, this boy is pretty handsome.
The boy sits up next to me. "Hey," I say, and I smile at him. "Sorry, I'm not sure I ever got your name."
"Edward," he says, smiling back and holding out his hand.
I accept his handshake. "Marlene." After a few minutes of awkward silence, I remember he's usually with that girl with the mousy brown hair. "Where's your girlfriend? I'm not sure I ever got her name, either."
"Myra. She's in the infirmary. She wasn't exactly prepared for the challenges of Dauntless initiation," he says. "She came here to be with me, but I have a feeling she would have stayed in Erudite if we had known about the cuts."
I cringe. That had to be a very unpleasant surprise for her. "That bad, huh?"
He nods. "I'm sure she's ranked last, so far. When we got here I thought at least she wouldn't be last with the Stiff around, but apparently looks can be deceiving," he chuckles. Ugh, really? Tris not only has Uriah wrapped around her finger, but she doesn't even suck at fighting? I scowl. I don't want to talk about her. I'm trying to get my mind off that subject. "Anyway," he continues, "I've tried to help Myra. I've won all mine so far, I've been studying hand-to-hand combat in my spare time since lower levels. But she's not getting it. At all."
At least I don't have to worry that Uriah will be cut, like Edward does about Myra. "So if she gets cut, what will that mean for you? Will you follow her?"
"To the factionless?" Edward huffs, and looks down at his shoes. "I don't know. I really don't want to be factionless. But she came here to be with me, so I feel bad about the idea of letting her go on her own." He shrugs. "I don't think I can give up the entire rest of my life for her."
For a while, neither of us says anything. It's not awkward, though. It's a comfortable silence. It's nice, really. Quiet is hard to come by at the Dauntless compound.
I don't know how long we've been sitting there, just quietly keeping each other company, when Edward breaks the silence. "I had better go check on her, see if she can leave the infirmary yet. Nice talking to you, Marlene," he says with a very charming smile, and he touches my shoulder with one hand.
Before I look back at the setting sun, I watch Edward walk away and jump off the ledge, into the hole with the net at the bottom.
_________________________
Tobias
The field trip to the fence is one of my least favorite days of training the new initiates. It involves a train ride to the fence that surrounds the City, telling them basically about how if they don't place near the top at the end of initiation they'll be working there, which is a rather undesirable career to get stuck with, hang around there for a little while, then ride the train back with them.
It doesn't sound so bad. Unfortunately, when you ride the train all the way to Amity with nine initiates from three different factions-- especially with no other members to distract you from the transfers' bickering-- it's a rather tedious journey. Currently, I've been listening to Peter tease Tris over God knows what, and Tris and her friends dishing it back at him, for the past five minutes. Even worse, Molly and Drew laugh at everything Peter says. Drew laughs silently, so that doesn't bother me, but Molly has an ugly laugh. It reminds me of a horse.
After one of Peter's stupid jabs and a few thrown back by Will and Christina, I've had enough, especially since I know Peter is never going to stop picking on Tris-- though she stands up to it quite well, and honestly seems completely unfazed by it-- if I don't step in. It's not that she needs me to, but the kid is a real jerk and I am sick of hearing it. I glare from where I stand at the doorway of the car. Tris is sitting there just silently watching me while the others go back and forth. "Am I going to have to listen to your bickering all the way to the fence?" I bellow with obvious irritation.
They all go silent for a while, and Tris gets up to move closer to the train car door, but doesn't approach me. Instead, she just leans against the wall opposite the door, staring out, looking deep in thought... looking troubled, anxious... even maybe mournful. I turn away before she can settle her eyes on mine and bring out that unsettled feeling in me again, the one I get when she looks through my eyes right into my soul. I don't know how she does that.
"Penny for your thoughts, Tris?" Will asks, approaching her. Christina follows and they both lean against the wall near her.
"Hmm?"
"Just an old expression. What's on your mind?"
"Just thinking about what's beyond the fence," Tris says. When I glance back, her expression is dark. I can never quite figure out what she might be thinking. I hold both handles and lean my body out the doorway, listening to Will and Christina make conjectures as to what might be out there. Tris remains silent until Will asks what she thinks could be out there. I've started to think she didn't even hear him when she says, "Maybe something that we could never even imagine." What does that mean?
The train brakes with a loud squeal, and I hold the handles tight as the momentum throws me toward the front of the car. After jumping out, I stand aside as the nine initiates jump from the car one by one. "Follow me," I say before leading them to the fence.
I make sure they're all there, then begin my little speech about rankings and jobs. "If you don't rank in the top five at the end of initiation, you will probably end up here. Once you are a fence guard, there is some potential for advancement, but not much. You may be able to go on patrols beyond Amity's farms, but--"
"Patrols for what purpose?" Will interrupts me. Erudite-born. Always curious. Or maybe what Tris said is on his mind.
I shrug. "I suppose you'll discover that if you find yourself among them. As I was saying. For the most part, those who guard the fence when they are young continue to guard the fence. If it comforts you, some of them insist that it isn't as bad as it seems."
"What rank were you?" Peter asks.
I look directly at him when I answer. "I was first."
"And you chose to do this? Why didn't you get a government job?" I didn't get a government job mostly because I don't want to see my 'father', Marcus, the head of the council, but I'm certainly not going to share that with Peter. Tris is looking at me with this look of understanding and I don't know how she could possibly understand or even think she does. On the other hand, I don't know why I notice and analyze every look she sends my way.
"I didn't want one," I say simply.
The gates open for an Amity truck, and I walk away from the initiates to say hello to Mia, a girl from my initiation class. I don't see her often as she is usually out here at the fence, working. "Hey, Four!" she greets me with a smile, and we make small talk for a minute. I watch what my initiates are doing as I talk to her and see that an Amity initiate jumps out of the truck and hugs Tris, who looks uncomfortable. She stiffens and her arms lay limply at her sides. The weird pang in my stomach resurfaces-- the one that I felt when I saw her with Uriah by the Chasm, the one that I don't understand. I wonder what he would think about her hugging this hippie.
"Need to go break that happy little reunion up?" Mia asks me. She's smirking, though I'm not sure why.
"Uh... yeah, probably should save her from making any poor decisions. She shouldn't be fraternizing with other factions," I agree.
Mia rolls her eyes. "Right. You go save her from herself there." I don't miss the sarcasm. What's she trying to say? That I'm... wait, am I jealous? Of a banjo strumming hippie initiate?! I give her my best 'what on earth are you talking about?' look and she snorts. "I've known you for two years now, Four, and I have never seen you look at a girl like you're looking at her. You've barely glanced at me the whole time we've been talking."
I don't know what I feel about Tris, and I'm not going to figure it out here and now. I shrug and roll my eyes. "I'm their instructor. It's my job to keep an eye on them." She rolls her eyes again. "Good to see you, Mia."
Molly and Tris seem to have been arguing; Molly walks away smirking. Tris's 'friend' has just gone back to the truck when I approach her.
"I am worried that you have a knack for making unwise decisions," I say, frowning at her in disapproval.
Tris sighs. "It was a two minute conversation, and it wasn't like I initiated the it, Four. What was I supposed to do, tell him to get lost? It's just my old next-door-neighbor." I frown, not sure if I believe her that there's nothing between them, but still hoping it's the truth. Not that it matters to me. Or so I tell myself.
I reach out and touch the bruise on her jaw. Even though she had done well in training the other day when she practiced on the punching bags, it was surprising and impressive when she beat Christina yesterday and came out nearly unscathed. Christina is taller and stronger than Tris, and the Candor are much less afraid to hurt others than someone like Tris, who grew up always putting others ahead of herself. "You did well yesterday." I pause, knowing what I want to ask, but not sure if I should, or if I want to hear the answer. I ask anyway. "What did Eric want with you?" I heard him keep her back. I waited around the corner and saw him walk past several minutes later with a smirk on his face; when I left a few minutes later she hadn't come out of the training room.
"I don't know, really... he didn't really yell at me or anything. I stood up for Christina yesterday, and it was like he was telling me he didn't like it... but... I don't know. I got the feeling that... that he's interested in me. I really didn't like it. It was weird. He creeps me out." It feels like a rock settled in my stomach, like a deep, heavy feeling of dread. Eric is dangerous.
"Be careful, Tris. You're dating Uriah, right? Did you tell him about Eric?" As much as it bothered me seeing her with Uriah, he's a good kid and will protect her.
She shakes her head. "No... I tried to tell you that first night, by the chasm. Uriah is just a friend. I think you got the wrong impression of me." Wait, what?! I really thought she and Uriah were together. This conversation is leaving me feeling like I don't know which way is up; hearing her say she isn't involved with Uriah in that way left me feeling lighter, but Eric's interest in her did just the opposite.
I have a sick feeling in my stomach at the thought of Eric setting his sights on Tris. Damn it... I had wanted to just keep my distance from Tris, and now I feel compelled to protect her.
________________________
Shauna
Zeke always works more during initiation. Four can't work his shifts there for those few weeks because he's training initiates, and Zeke picks up quite a bit of the slack. I've been missing him at dinner. Tonight after dinner, I decided to make up a plate for him and bring it by the control room to surprise him.
The room is rarely locked, so I walk right in. Zeke is playing one of the dumb computer games he programmed on his computer rather than watching the screens-- typical Zeke. I roll my eyes as I tap him on the shoulder.
He spins in his chair, grinning when he sees me. "Hey, beautiful," he says as he pulls the headphones down around his neck and stands, leaning in to kiss me. "Mmm, lasagna, my favorite. Thank you." I pull up the empty chair from Four's station and sit behind him, leaning back and absently looking at the screens.
I hear Zeke huff a small sigh and follow his gaze. The screen he is looking at shows the training room and I let out an annoyed sigh when I see it, too. On the screen I can see Uriah, but he's not training. He's sitting on the floor against the wall, next to the Stiff. Tris. Just sitting next to her is one thing, but he's got an arm wrapped around her shoulders. I can't see her face-- she's facing away from the camera, but I know it's her.
"Uriah sure seems to like that transfer," I say bitterly. Marlene is like a sister to me, and I hated seeing her so upset the other day.
Zeke shakes his head. "Hmm-mm," he hums. "No, actually, they're just friends."
I raise my eyebrows at him and scoff. "Just friends? That doesn't look like just friends to me."
"I'm serious," Zeke insists. "He came in here all down the other night because of girl trouble. I, too, immediately thought it was the Stiff, but he seemed totally confused by that assumption and insisted he cares about her like a sibling, not like that."
I really don't get it now. He's known her less than a week. How do you get close to someone like that in just a couple of days? "Then why does he spend so much time with her?"
Zeke shrugs. "He says they have some crazy connection and he 'can't explain it.' But that it's not romantic." Zeke takes another bite of lasagna, chews, and swallows before continuing. He knows I won't put up with him eating with his mouth open or some shit like that. "His girl troubles were about Marlene."
"What?!" I screech. This is the best news I've heard all week! "He likes Mar?!"
Zeke's head bobs up and down. "Yep," he says, popping the 'p'. "He was upset because he feels like she's distancing herself from him or something."
I huff. I swear, these Pedrad boys. They have a lot of really great qualities-- handsome, friendly, funny, daring-- but most of the time, 'smart' doesn't make the list. This is one of those times. "And it didn't occur to him, or to you for that matter, that maybe he should not act like he's in love with Tris, if he wants Mar to be falling at his feet? Even if he stayed away from her more now, I doubt it would matter. Mar is convinced that he's 'smitten' over her. And yes, she actually used the word 'smitten.'"
Zeke grins. "We'll have to do something about that then, won't we? Unfortunately, I promised Uriah I wouldn't tell anyone, but we could--"
"And I promised the same to Marlene," I interrupt. "So how are we going to do this?"
Zeke rubs his chin, then his eyes light up. "Tris is what's standing in their way, even if she doesn't mean to. So... we need to find someone for Tris."
I only have to think for a moment. I know just the guy.