"People make bad choices when they're mad or scared or stressed." - Frozen
WE SHOULDN'T HAVE GIVEN UP on security busting us so fast.
The second the words slipped out, I looked up to find that Max wasn't looking at me anymore - he was looking behind me, where a group of angry looking Disneyland security members were ready to drag us out of the building. We weren't fired - and I was somewhat thankful for that - but we were sent back to our posts with a stern, "don't let it happen again," thrown our way. I signed about fifty more autographs and took about twice as many pictures with Will before changing and heading to my usual car that took me home every night. It felt sort of strange having a car that drove me to and from work - but since I was one of the youngest staff members, I was pretty much one of the only ones without a car. Still quietly humming the tune of "Beauty And The Beast", I hopped into the backseat with a dumb smile plastered on my face, and all the while, I couldn't stop thinking about Max.
I kept wondering if it had been the right choice to tell him that I was ready to reveal the real reason why I hated Disney so much. He'd had me in such a good mood - and I would have ruined all of it if we hadn't been thrown out so quick. Part of me was glad that I'd never had the chance to say what I wanted to - I probably wouldn't admit the happy trance I was in, even as I walked up my front steps and had changed into my night dress, about to flop onto my bed with a yawn when my phone started to ring, and I was pulled out of it. "Hello?" I asked, trying not to sound as tired and stupid as I knew I would. If it weren't bad enough that we'd been thrown out of the best - and admittedly least uninteresting - place that Max had ever taken me to, all of that dancing and sliding had really tired me out, and all I wanted now was to sleep.
"Alice? Is that you?" A familiar (and attractively deep) voice responded.
"Will?" I asked, my eyes widening despite my sleepiness. "It's almost midnight, what are you-"
"Listen, I've got to get something off my chest," he interrupted, his voice sounding urgent. "I know that you've only been working here for a couple weeks - and that this is going to sound really crazy, considering that we haven't really spent that much time together as Alice and Will instead of Rapunzel and Flynn-"
"Eugene," I corrected stupidly, thinking of what Max would say and smiling stupidly.
"Uh, right..." he sounded nervous - which I found hard to believe, because I was usually the one getting nervous around him, and in this case, we weren't even in the same room. "So anyway, I know that it's a really stupid thing to ask over the phone, but I couldn't find you earlier today, and I can't wait until tomorrow." Will took in a deep breath. "I know that you like to keep to yourself, and I'm totally cool with that - and I know that you aren't exactly enchanted by all of this Disney stuff. So, I'm hoping that it wouldn't be completely embarrassing if I went out on a limb and asked if you wanted to hang out with me... outside of work?"
I was stunned. "Um, w-well I, uh... I-I just..." I stuttered, trying to come up with even a semi-articulate excuse, like I always did. It had been so much easier with Patrick and the others - I didn't care about them. But with Will, it was different - it wasn't that I liked Will, it was just that we were friends and colleagues, and I didn't want to screw everything up. How awkward would it be to have to pretend that we were in love with each other every day if our date was a disaster? I didn't want to take that chance - Will was funny and cool, and I didn't want to lose him as a friend just because he wanted to be more than that.
(And then, like I said, I didn't actually like Will. In that way, I mean.)
After a suitable amount of stuttering, he chimed in. "Alice, I get it if you don't want to. You don't have to try and spare my feelings," he said, and I could hear the hurt in his laugh.
Crap. Say something coherent, Alice... "No - no! It's just that I-"
Will didn't listen. "I already get what's going on - you don't have to explain it to me. I should have guessed it earlier. I hope you two are very happy together," he replied, his voice turning slightly cold. I could hear that he was disappointed - but what was I supposed to do? I didn't want to go out with him - it wasn't my fault that he liked me, was it? Okay, so I flirted with him once - and okay, so I didn't exactly fend him off when he made it painfully obvious that he liked me. Still, he seemed to be having a bit of trouble being obvious about things right now - because I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about.
My mouth hung open, confused. "What? Who? Will, you aren't making sense."
"Don't play games, Alice. You know you like him, and he likes you. I'm stupid to think that you'd like me over him. Isn't it like, every girl's fantasy to be with him?"
"Will, I've gotta be honest, I'm completely lost in this conversation right now."
"Good night, Alice."
"Will, wait!"
And he hung up. I climbed into bed and tried not to think about it - the more I worried about what work with him would be like the next day, the less sleep I would get. I found myself slipping away into sleep with ease, and woke up a few hours later to the sound of something outside, tapping at my window. My head shot up quickly, and I stared at the moving shadow behind my curtains, my hands shaking. I snatched my cell phone from my bedside table and dialled 911, my finger hovering over the call button readily as I got out of bed. My lip trembling, I grabbed my frying pan (I'd accidentally brought it home with me after work, a force of habit after carrying it around with me all day) and walked slowly to the window, hoping that it was an oversized bird or something, and not a masked murderer ready to jump inside my bedroom.
(What a perfect night to be home alone.)
The tapping on my window continued, and I shakily unlatched my window and drew back the curtains in one quick, swift motion, hoping that I could knock out the burglar before they even had the chance to bound into my bedroom. When I saw the surprised expression of the redhead in green sitting on my windowsill, I almost screamed at the top of my lungs. "Don't shoot! It's just me," Max whispered, holding his hands up in surrender.
"What the hell, Max?" Now I was glad that I was home alone - I could scream at him without waking anyone up. "You almost gave me a heart attack!" And how exactly would I shoot you with a frying pan? "What are you doing here?" I asked annoyedly, my heart still thumping in my chest.
"You never got a chance to say what you were going to tell me," he replied with a smile. "I couldn't sleep until I found out. I also may have had something that I wanted to tell you, too - but the security guys showed up, and..." he admitted, trailing off. "Can I come in? It's kind of cold out here," he asked, shivering slightly as a gust of wind blew past.
I rolled my eyes, stepping out of the way so that he could climb inside. "You are seriously the biggest idiot I know," I grumbled, trying to hide an amused smile. "How did you even get up here?" I asked, peering out the window and looking down at the ground below it - it definitely wasn't an impossible trek, since there was a space of roof outside my window and nearly a billion ways to potentially sneak up, but it was still strange - even for Max.
"I climbed," Max grinned triumphantly. I turned on the lamp from my bedside table, watching in confusion as he looked me up and down. I realized that I was standing in front of him in a light blue nightgown - one I'd bought on impulse the day after our trip to Ariel's castle, and had immediately regretted, but not wanting to waste my money, I decided I'd wear once or twice. It wasn't exactly like Wendy's, but it was similar enough to give him the complete wrong idea.
I wrapped a blanket around myself awkwardly. "Would you care to tell me why you're still in uniform?" I asked, trying to direct the attention away from my bedtime attire.
Max grinned. "C'mon, don't tell me you haven't always dreamed of having Peter Pan come through your window," he teased, not realizing that he was saying the complete wrong thing.
"Max, do me a favour? Shut up."
"Just have a little imagination, Alice. I'll be Peter, and you can be Wendy. Sure, Tink's not here yet, but I can still teach you how to fly! All you need is faith, trust, and-"
"Max, stop it. Now."
"We can go to Neverland and never come back. We'll never have to grow up, it'll just be you, me, and the Lost Boys," he grinned. "And I'm sure Tink won't try to kill you this time."
"Seriously Max, it isn't funny-"
He extended his hand towards me. "Run away with me, Wendy," he said playfully, grinning up at me. I was staring open-mouthed at him now, trying to remember how to formulate words. Here he was - Peter Pan, I mean - standing in front of me, asking me to run away with him, just like I'd imagined and dreamed he would thousands of times. I'd gotten my hopes up for a dream that would never come true long ago, and even though I knew that Max wasn't trying to make fun of it, I wished more than anything that he had known how badly this would set me off.
(More than anything, I couldn't bring myself to remember that he wasn't the real Peter Pan.)
I pushed his hands away, and he stumbled backward. "You still don't get it, do you?" I asked, raising my voice. "You think it's all fun and games all the time, but it's not. You know, just because you play Peter Pan, doesn't mean you have to act like him."
He looked confused. "Alice, I wasn't trying to-"
I cut him off. "Do you ever just shut up and listen for once? Stop being such a child, Max - and stop trying to get me to like Disney. I'm tired of your stupid games and attempts to get me to think like you do - I'm never going to start believing again, Max, and there's nothing that you and your silly little movies can do to change that!" I shouted, angry and tired and not realizing what I was saying even after the words had already slipped from my mouth.
Max looked wounded. "Alice, I'm sorry if I said something to offend you, I didn't mean to. Truth is I'm horrible at saying this stuff, and I know I act immature sometimes, but what I was really trying to say was that-"
"Sometimes?" I was fuming. "That must be the biggest understatement of the century," I grumbled.
Max and I kept talking at the same time, completely ignoring what the other was saying. "I guess I thought that if I joked around about it then it wouldn't be as awkward when I asked if-"
I shouted above him and he stopped. "You still don't understand, and you never will! There is no such thing as pixie dust, there is no such thing as Neverland, and there is no such thing as Peter Pan. The sooner we both accept that, the better," I concluded, glaring at him.
Max was speechless. "All I wanted was for you to believe again," he defended sheepishly, staring at the ground.
"But that's just it, Max. I have tried so hard not to fall for this stupid Disney crap - and I willingly let you drag me back into it all over again! I'm an idiot for taking this stupid job, I'm an idiot for agreeing to your stupid deal, and I'm an idiot for liking Disney again. So there - you won the bet. Now hold up your end of the bargain and leave me alone!"
"Fine, if that's what you want, then I will!" I could see the anger and disappointment in his eyes.
"Then go!" I demanded, ignoring the tear that'd escaped down my cheek.
"Fine!" He threw his hands in the air.
"Fine!" I shouted, pointing towards the door.
He opted for the window instead. He climbed straight through and all the way down, and I ran to my window and looked down despite myself, wondering if he was okay. I could feel my eyes brimming with tears, and I just stood there like an idiot looking out my window, watching him walk away with a sadness in my eyes that I didn't want to admit was there. I felt a pang in my heart as I thought about the stupid things I'd said to him out of anger and hurt, and I didn't even realize that I'd been crying until I looked into the mirror beside me and saw my tear-streaked face, wiping the tears away hastily. Great, you let him see you cry. Why don't you just let him see every embarrassing part of yourself, huh Alice? What do you have to lose?
The best week of my life, I reminded myself. That's what I have to lose.
I could feel myself crying even though I didn't want to be, and repeating the words I am not going to cry over Peter Pan in my head a million times as if it would work. I crawled out onto the roof outside my window and sat there for hours, repeating the same words to myself like I had when I was seven, even though they never worked then, and they most certainly weren't going to work now. Still, the only thing I could think to do was to tell myself, I am not going to cry over Peter Pan, I am not going to cry over Peter Pan, I am not going to cry over Peter Pan.
If only Max had known - and if only I'd done a better job at controlling my temper, for once. All of these realizations would have done me a lot more good if they'd come before Max and I fought, but now, it was too late. And then I realized that it wasn't just our fight that was making me cry. It was the thought of going to work the next day with Will hating me, Grace finally getting what she wanted, and Max wanting nothing to do with me ever again - especially now that I could actually stand him.
I am not going to cry over Max.
And then I do.
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a / n ~ NO. I'm crying. This chapter wasn't fun to write, you guys. My birthday party, on the other hand, was loads of fun! So I had no idea that Marvel is owned by Disney now, so one of my friends came as Loki, and it made my life. There were lots of Minnie Mouse's, Elsa's, and a super cool karaoke party! It was great to put my Rapunzel dress to good use (and, honestly, just to show it off, because who wouldn't want a replica princess dress?) Let me know what you think of the chapter - I actually really would love any feedback you have, to help me with editing! Disney question while we're at it: favourite Pixar movie/short? I just looked up the Pixar theory yesterday, and it blew my mind. I can't think straight anymore. My favourite Pixar movie is, without a doubt, UP! Married Life is my obsession and I just love the entire movie so much! I also love Toy Story, Monsters Inc, Brave and Wall-E! As for shorts, I'm obsessed with The Lava Song, so Lava has definitely got to be my favourite. Outside of Pixar, my favourite Disney short of all time will always be Paperman, and I love that short with all my heart. Which are your favourites? ~xoxo, sydney ♥