As time went on, Santana started to open up more and more to Kehau. It had been so long since they had an actual conversation that she had forgotten what it was like to talk to her. Back when they were still together, Santana would be on the phone for hours and before she knew it- it was morning. The sun had risen and it was time to get ready for school. She never regretted nights like those, regardless of how tired she was that day. She always felt like they never ran out of things to talk about. And tonight wasn't any different. It was like they picked up where they left off, like their relationship hadn't skipped a beat.
"Can I ask you something?" Santana turned towards Kehau. "You know that first song you did for ensembles? Was that for me?"
"Yeah, it was. I mean, did you hear the words?" Santana reeled in her line. "I was heartbroken over that shit you did to me, Kehau. I found my escape in music."
"Music was always your escape, even before you knew it." Kehau grabbed the pole from Santana and casted the line. "I'd catch you singing while we were on Skype. You'd think I was doing my homework, but I was listening to you."
"Why'd you do it?" Santana turned all the way to Kehau now. Kehau set the pole back down in it's holder and did the same. "We had such a great time together. Unless that was just one sided?"
"No no.. You're right. We did have a great time. The best, actually. I just, I don't know San. I was a different person then. My mindset was crap, and I made a mistake. I dated that girl for maybe three months. But even when I was dating her, I'd come down here every weekend. And my friends just didn't understand. And neither did I. Maybe I was thinking that if you came down here, then I would snap out of it but you never came."
"I wasn't gonna come down here that's why. You know my connections to this place..." Santana looked out to where her line was floating in the water. She shrugged. I actually did think about coming down here this past summer before school started. But that was the same day as my mom's company party so I ended up just going with her."
They were quiet for a while. It wasn't awkward or anything, more comforting than anything. Santana didn't have any feelings for Kehau, but she had missed her. They were friends for a while before they started dating. So once they broke up, it was a huge part of Santana's life that was gone. The amount of time, and the things she had shared with Kehau was a large investment of her life. Cutting her off like that was the hardest thing she had ever done up until having to deal with her dad's deployment. She just felt like, everything was crashing down on her.
"San?" Kehau was waving her hand in front of her face. "I know you're thinking about something. Just talk to me."
"Remember when my dad got to his second duty station? Right when we started talking?" She nodded. "Well, remember how he told me I should go to West Point?"
"Don't tell me you're considering it now?"
"I think I am. There's so many emotional connections to places I have on this island. It's so hard, you know? Having to go somewhere and a memory hits. I want somewhere, that's fresh. Somewhere new."
Kehau knew that this wasn't Santana talking. "This isn't you, San. You told me yourself. You're not down for waking up early, having to do the uniform thing. Just, think about what you're saying. I know you want somewhere new, but you can just go Oahu. Or to the mainland. Joining the military is a huge difference."
"Yeah, I know. But still. I can't even bring Brittany out this side without thinking about you. It's hard for me."
There were so many times that Santana wanted to bring Brittany out to Kona but there were so many connections to Kehau there that she couldn't. But what she didn't know, was if she didn't want to take her because it reminded her of Kehau, or if it was because of Kehau. Those memories were special to her.
"Just really think about it. You'll be stuck for 3 years or more if you join. Yeah they pay for school and what not but, I don't know San. I can't, I can't think about you leaving like your dad. Overseas, getting sent into danger. That's hard to even swallow."
The feelings were there, and Santana knew it. She treaded carefully. "I know. But it was just a thought. I never said that I was gonna go for sure. Michigan had one of their coaches contact me. They want me to send a highlight reel when season is halfway done."
"Do it! I know that was like your #1 school."
Santana looked down at her phone. 2:37. It was fucking late and she didn't even tell her mom where she was. She started putting her fishing pole and everything away.
"Do your parents know where you are? It's super late. And I know how they are." Kehau looked down at her phone. "Well?"
"Yeah they know where I am. Why don't you just sleep over? They were actually asking if you were staying over tonight."
Her heart stopped. Sleep over? "Uh.. I don't know Kehau."
"Nothings gonna happen tho I promise. It's just late. I don't want you driving all the way back to Honoka'a."
What harm could it do? She had no feelings left for Kehau, and this was a chance for her to show Brittany that she could trust her.
"Let me just call Britt, just go wait in your call. I'll let you know."
-----
It had been about, 3 hours since Brittany had gotten that last message from Santana. Her mind was racing, but she knew that she needed to trust her. Up until this point, Santana hadn't done anything to make Brittany not trust her. Other than the kiss, with Kehau. Which put her back into the same state of worry she had just gotten out of. It was crazy.
Rachel had dropped her off at home about an hour ago. They had gone to eat dinner before both heading home. Brittany's dad was downstairs, so she decided to go and talk stories with him.
"Hey dad." She pulled a chair out from the island in the kitchen and sat as her dad was washing dishes.
He turned back and looked at her. "Hey baby. You alright?"
"I'm okay. Rachel and I had gone looking for Santana cause she just found out that her dad is deploying again. So she went off the grid for a bit but I heard from her. She just didn't let me know if she was home yet or not."
"He's deploying? Oh wow. I haven't heard that word in a while."
"What was it like? When mom would go and you'd be at home?" Brittany had never talked to her dad about those times.
"Well," He wiped his hands with the dish towel and sat directly across of her on the island. "It was hard, you know? At the time, she was all I had. Your grandparents were still overseas living in Italy, and Uncle Derek was in Seattle with his wife. So I'd literally go to work,then come home and wait. Hoping that she would call that night."
"You didn't do anything else?"
"Not really. I mean, I didn't want to risk it. I didn't have a cell phone then. So she would call the house phone. I'd always tell myself to go out with my friends. But what if I had gone out, and missed her call and then something happened to her?"
Brittany hadn't really thought about it like that. "But it might be easier now right? Since there's cell phones and stuff?"
"It might be but, for her its hard you know? They already live separate from her dad. I can just imagine what's running through her head. Especially since his job is something that isn't exactly in the safe zone."
There was so much more to deployment than she thought. It made more sense though, why she basically lost it the first time he went. She might be stronger now though, she thought.
"It's a really touchy situation. So when she's ready to talk to you, don't try to understand how she feels. Just listen and let her say what she needs to say."
"Thanks dad. I've never really talked to you about mom's deployments before. I don't know how you did it." He smiled. "Was it easier though? The more she went?"
"You would think it would get easier right? But it really didn't." He laughed. "Especially after she had you. I was so scared, I didn't know if I could handle raising a girl all on my own."
Brittany laughed. "I'm pretty sure you did a fantastic job, dad."
They talked for another half an hour. When Brittany finally went back upstairs, she checked her phone and saw that she had 3 missed calls from Santana and a text message that read, Hey babe. Call me.
But when she called back? Her phone went straight to voicemail.
-----
LOLOLOL CLIFFHANGER. Stay tuned. I actually have a few chapters already written out, just waiting for the day to post them! :)
Reviews, comments, criticism are all welcomed as always! I just want to thank the loyal ones who have stayed with me on this journey. It is probably my favorite piece I've written to date, and I'm excited to share it with all of you :)