Title: World Leaders
Author: AakashBansal2
Genre: Mystery/Thriller
Cover:
About the cover, I fail to see how a bunch of clouds relate to your story. Did you mean to show the new world that you've introduced in your book?
Your title can barely be seen against the white clouds. I suggest moving it to the center for better visibility.
If the phrase, "The Fall Of Humanity", is your subtitle, I suggest making it smaller and placing it at the top of the cover in place of the title.
Your name can barely be seen at all, please enlarge it and place it somewhere else.
Title:
In the three chapters that I read, the title did not make sense.
That's fine, some published books have titles that don't make sense until you finish the entire book. However, readers generally don't mind if published books do that, because they've paid money to read those books. On Wattpad, a reader can easily close a book and move onto another one if the book fails to interest them.
Maybe you could change it to something like "Lost: The Story of a New God" or something like that. (Feel free to take my opinions with a grain of salt)
Summary:
The start of the summary, while thought provoking, is just filler. The filler is six sentences and there are just two sentences related to the plot. A rewrite may be in order.
Just pick a sentence or two out of the filler that you really liked. Add some plot related points like the earth was almost destroyed and is now inhabited by a new species, a boy was given a mysterious holy book to read and so on. Just don't go overboard and tell the entire story in your summary.
Story's Plot and Pacing:
I really did not understand what was going on at first. It took me three or four revisions to fully comprehend what was written.
First of all, it's a unique plot. A story about a guy who becomes the God of a new species is quite interesting. However, the execution needs to be drastically improved.
The prologue is the same as Chapter 4, which was really confusing. I suggest cutting the prologue out completely, since you've already described those events in Chapter 4.
There is a lot of "telling" as opposed to "showing". Instead of just monotonously telling us your character's actions, you could show them through little actions and expressions.
There's a lot of filler here as well. You don't need to mention where the cupboards are in his room. Instead, just focus on the lack of technology and the difference between his room and the room of a teenager from or generation.
The pacing was weird at the start, when you shifted from one POV to another. It's a bit better in the later chapters.
Characters:
The main characters seem to be the boy who was kidnapped and the boy who's reading the holy book. You haven't mentioned their names at all, this is something you absolutely have to correct.
Also, you haven't described your characters, so I have no idea how to picture them.
You seriously need to work on your characters, because I don't feel connected to them at all. There should be one character, at least, that any reader can relate to. Readers won't continue reading a story with characters they can't relate to.
Grammar, Spelling and Punctuation:
The structure of your sentences is quite awkward to read. You've used a lot of commas and your sentences are quite lengthy in nature. I suggest that you break them down into smaller ones to make reading them a bit easier.
You keep misspelling "weird" as "wierd".
In the prologue, the first words of all sentences are in lower case.
Example: "The woman smiled through the whole thing and as soon as I was finished, punched me in the stomach and shouted who brought this idiot here?"
Fixed Example: "The woman smiled through the whole thing and as soon as I was finished, punched me in the stomach and shouted, 'Who brought this idiot here?'"
Another recurring error is your wrong usage of the question mark.
Example: "I didn't know where I was?"
Fixed Example: "I didn't know where I was."
Also, paragraphs need to be short. Yours are big blocks of text which make the story incredibly difficult to read.
My thoughts:
This story has an interesting premise, but it needs a lot of work. There are a lot of books on Wattpad which give writing tips, check those out. Also check out the Improve Your Writing club, it has a ton of threads which provide excellent advice. I'd recommend getting an editor to check out the chapters before publishing them.
Anything else:
The story seems to be more science fiction than mystery/thriller. Also, increase the chapter lengths, maybe you can club two chapters together.
I hope you found this helpful! This is my first official review and I appreciate any feedback on my reviewing process. Did you like it or not? Is there anything I should improve on?