Chadron, Nebraska
12:07 am
It wasn't more than a few minutes before we arrived back at the motel. The car stopped and Sam came around to help Dean out of the car. He groaned while sitting up. I felt horrible. I kept telling myself that it wasn't me. I could feel the remnants of that anger inside me. I didn't even hesitate. Sam and Dean were already inside by the time I got out of the car. I sat on the two steps that led to the walkway that wrapped around the motel. My head buried into my hands. I took a deep breath as my hands ran through my hair with frustration. It was nearly an hour before Sam came outside. He sat down next to me.
"How are you feeling?" he asked.
"I just feel like I could have done something. At least tried to stop it," I sighed.
"You know that ghost was his wife. She killed herself about ten years ago when she found out he was cheating on her. I just didn't think he'd go that far."
"What do you mean?"
"He was controlling her. Using her to basically keep the place haunted. And like you know. The longer they hang around, especially against their wishes, the angrier they get."
"That explains a lot."
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"When he told me, er her, to kill you I just felt this rush of anger. There was so much hatred for him. She didn't want to. I could feel that much, but-"
"Hey, you didn't do bad for your first hunt. Like you said this isn't your kinda thing."
"Yeah, guess you're right."
"But, um, I'll take that fifty dollars whenever you're ready," he laughed.
My head snapped in his direction. He was trying to contain his laughter. My hand dug into my bag and I pulled out a crisp fifty dollar bill. I shoved it at him.
"Damn, my pride. I never stood a chance to beat you two, did I?" I groaned.
"Hey, you pulled me into the bet. That's your fault," he said happily taking the money from me.
"How's Dean?"
"He's fine. You barely scratched him."
"Oh, just a scratch?" I asked holding up my bloody hands.
"He's fine. He'll just give you crap for awhile. Probably about the salt."
"Ugh, what was I thinking? I just launched the damn thing at him."
"It was really funny. Did you see his face?"
"Yeah," the laughter quickly slipped from my mouth. Sam was mimicking his brother's face. He looked so goofy, "that's perfect! God he looked like such an idiot."
"Who looked like an idiot?" Dean's voice boomed from behind us, "you aren't really making fun of the guy you a-salt-ed today."
"Dean," Sam groaned.
"Can I stab him again?" I asked chuckling at his good use of a pun.
"Come on, that was good," Dean beamed proud of his joke.
"With that. I'm out," Sam said while getting up, "thanks for the cash."
Dean took the spot next to me. His hand extended. I placed my hand in his. He looked at the gesture before looking at my face.
"Although I enjoy holding your hand. I think you owe me something," he smirked.
"Fine."
I dug out another fifty and handed it to him. His smile widened as he tucked it into his pocket. With a swift movement his arm was around me. My body pulled into his. They weren't even giving me a moment to mope.
"Hey, you did your best. You might be good with guns, but we have got to train you with salt."
"Shut up, Dean," I smiled.
"I'm okay, ____, how are you?"
"I'm fine. You two jerks won't give me a moment to be upset about this."
"Shit happens, can't hold onto it."
"You've never had anything that bothered you like that? Something you just can't get out of your head? No regrets? None?" I asked.
"Alright, alright. But I'm fine. I'm still here. It hurts a little, but those weren't your actions. Not the ghost's either. So don't sweat it."
"Fine."
"Come on, it's late. We have a long day tomorrow."
"You have another job already?" I asked.
"No, heading back to Bobby's for something. He said it was important."
"Hey, we should go now! I can drive if you're tired."
"Why would you want to do that? And you are not driving that car. You can't even handle salt."
"I kinda asked him to look into something for me," I admitted.
"What's that?" he asked.
"If I could be fixed. Like if there's a cure for me."
"Why would you want that? You'd just be a regular person then. No more cool powers."
"Yeah. I'd just be a person, but I'd get to be one with you," my voice faded to a whisper.
"Why would you do that for me?" he asked.
"For the first time I'm afraid that I might hurt someone. And I don't want to hurt you, Dean," I was abruptly cut off by an unwanted voice.
"You," Crowley's voice growled, "we need to have a talk."
"I'm good," I said.
"You killed one of my best demons and are prancing around with the Winchesters now. Do they know what you are?"
"We know. We don't care," Dean interjected.
A smile broke across Crowley's face. His eyes danced between the two of us.
"Don't tell me you two are,"he paused, "oh you are. ____ you could do so much better."
"Are you really giving me relationship advice?" I asked raising an eyebrow.
"You're not even human," Crowley spat, "I'm sure there are laws about that sort of thing."
"You into me or something, Crowley? You're always around."
"I think of you as a daughter."
"Well, that got weird real quick," Dean said in a hushed tone, causing me to laugh.
"You two together are worse than either of you by yourself."
"Listen, Crowley. You had me under watch for years. And that fake training to try to get me to go bad. It didn't work. Maybe you could just, I don't know, get over it?" I said placing my hands on the rough concrete behind me. My body leaned into the motion.
"I've let you play good long enough. I'm tired of waiting for you to come around."
"It's not like you can snap your fingers and turn me evil," I joked.
"I can do exactly that."
"What?" fear took over my voice. I could feel my heart stop as tears pricked my eyes, "Crowley, wait-"
"Oh now you want to talk?" he smirked.
"Don't you dare," Dean said standing from his place next to me.
"This doesn't concern you, squirrel."
With a snap of Crowley's fingers Dean was gone. I looked at the empty space as I stood up. My eyes slowly trailed my way back to Crowley. He had moved closer to me. His hand readied a snap. My hand grabbed his before he could finish the motion.
"I don't want to be like that again," I sighed, "it took so much for me to stop that part of me. Please. If you have any shred of decency you'll just leave me alone."
His face leaned closer to mine. With a quiet laugh he responded, "I'm a demon, darling. We don't do decent."
My eyes widened as he flicked his free hand. I flew into the impala now behind me. I groaned as Crowley smiled. Another figure appeared behind him. It was the same presence at Bobby's house. The one I convinced myself was a bad feeling from killing Rhett. A man donning a trench coat and stern expression appeared behind him. His eyes met mine.
"You're not going to really do that, are you?" the other man asked.
"She can get there easier. And she's half human. Worst case she doesn't come back," Crowley whispered.
"Screw you, Crowley! I'm not going back there. I don't know what you two numbs skulls are doing, but you should quit while you're ahead," I snarled.
"You've been there before?" the other man asked, almost caring for what happened next to me.
"This asshole sent me there when I was six! I won't go back. And I swear Crowley, if you change me back-"
"You'll what?" he smirked.
"I'll do something worse than killing you."
He laughed as the other man just looked me over. I caught his stare and shot him an angry look. He straightened his shoulders.
"Do we have a choice?" he asked, "Dean will be upset if he finds out I played a part in this."
"You won't need to worry about him. I promise that," I snapped.
"I assure you, Castiel, it will be fine. A quick in and out. And I'll even set her back to normal for Dean."
"Castiel? The angel? Friend of the Winchesters? You think they'll forgive you if you go along with this?"
"I think they will understand in time."
I looked over at the room they were in. Both of them stood watching the events unfolding. Dean slammed his fist on the window. The sudden noise caused me to jump. Castiel looked over seeing his friends. He didn't realize they were watching us. His eyes softened.
"Don't let him do this," I pleaded with Castiel, my head nodded to Crowley, "you know whatever he's saying it's not true."
"I'm sorry, we have to do this," Castiel answered.
"You heard the angel," Crowley said.
My body lurched forward, but was instantly met with the sound of his fingers snapping. I felt this normality I had finally found for myself slipping away. My head felt like it was being whacked over and over with a metal bat. I left out that I had basically an embodiment of pure evil to Sam and Dean. I tried to forget myself, but the thing about secrets is they always come out eventually. My body tensed completely before my body fell forward. Castiel had stepped forward to grab me.
"You needed someone who has been there. She's our key," Crowley smiled.
"This doesn't feel right."
"If you are backing out, more souls for me. Guess you don't mind-"
"Let's just get going for now," Castiel said.
"Souls?" my voice laughed, "that's why I'm back?"
I pushed the angel away from me. My head rolled back as it cracked loudly. My eyes set directly on Crowley. I raised a finger and wagged it at him. The right side of my mouth pulled into a smirk.
"You really are a glutton for punishment," I said, "should have let sleeping dogs lie. Even I wouldn't have brought me back. But I'm not really in the mood to help either of you out."
"You don't have much of a choice," Crowley said.
The angel stepped forward. My head rolled in an exasperated fashion. With a swift movement of my hand he stopped in his tracks. I twisted my hand as he grabbed his chest suddenly. He fell to his knees with a worried expression. Crowley stepped forward. My other hand lifted as he froze.
"Sending me back there would be a big mistake, Crowley, I have a lot of enemies," my head tilted, "but you, you have more. And I'd be happy to show them the back door-"
"That's enough!" he shouted.
The hand controlling Crowley twisted very slowly. His eyes widened as a pain rushed through his body.
"I don't appreciate that she managed to beat me into the back of her head. Or that she wasted her abilities. But she's something else. You may have tricked her into thinking there was some sort of deal, but we have one," I explained, "you see you broke her. Purgatory broke her. I had a blast, but she didn't. And I like her, she'd let me out every now and then since you got her out. She can use me and this power whenever she wants she chose not to. And if you put her back there, well, you brought me forward. I'm the dominant one in this head of hers now."
"You little-" Crowley started.
"I'm not done talking!" my voice screamed. My eyes closed as I took a deep breath to calm myself, "she was happy. I was happy. And if you do anything, anything to hurt her you deal with me. Got it?"
His head nodded. My eyes drifted over to the window. Dean looked over sadly. There was a pang in my heart, this heart. I gave a blink of my eyes. I knew they went black. A slight smile formed on my face. With that I was gone. When I reappeared I was instantly met with tears falling from my face. My hand wiped them away, but they continued to fall.
"I know, I know," my voice cooed, "come on I look crazy talking to myself. But I know you can hear me. I'm going to set things back to the way they were. We were better that way, okay? Just understand I have to do a few things first. But you'll be back with that absurd family of yours in no time. I promise."