He knew the smell of hospitals, god he had stayed in this smell for several hours last night but that didn't mean he liked it. In fact he hated this weird scent, a mix of disinfectant, rubber and sickness. He tried to ignore the nauseous feeling it caused in his stomach as he was walking down the hallway, next to Mandy and Iggy.
"Hi. We're here to see our brother Mickey Milkovich." Mandy said to the nurse behind the counter when they reached the ICU. "Names?" He asked, not even looking up from his computer. "Mandy Milkovich."
"Iggy."
"And you are?" The nurse asked, now looking at them, pointing to the third person of the group. "Uhm Lip Gallagher." Lip answered. He eyed him like he wasn't sure if he should let him in but Mandy quickly said: "He's our friend."
The nurse nodded. "Wait here, I'm calling his doctor who will inform you about his condition."
"Do you know how long he will have to stay here?" Mandy asked and the nurse shook his head and said: "But you're insurance is covering the whole stay, including other medical devices."
Lip was surprised. Since when did Mickey have fucking health insurance? Mandy noticed his confused look. "Got a good job now, my insurance covers Iggy, Mickey and me. Iggy looked at her the same way as Lip did. Seemed like he didn't know about that either.
They sat down at the chairs in the waiting area because the nurse wouldn't let them in until a doctor came.
"But shouldn't the government pay for this anyway, since he's a convict?" Lip asked as he remembered where Mickey came from when he was brought into the ER.
A weak smile appeared on Mandy's face. "Ex-con. He was officially released and getting his shit before getting out. Didn't want me to tell anyone, thought about just leaving and letting everything behind so I didn't. Well, apparently he was on his way out when Terry got to him. He didn't care about the guard, knocked him down before he beat Mickey. It took some time until some other guards came and stopped him. Prison called this morning and told me. You know the rest of the story." "Holy fuck." Iggy said and Lip thought the same. It was like some heavenly force didn't want to give Mickey anything else but shit in his life. Not that Lip believed in any of this religious crap.
"How the hell did he get released?" Iggy asked. Interesting question.
"Sammi lied during her testimony so they would lock Mickey up for sure. They found out and actually there wasn't enough evidence to hold him, plus the victim had lied under loyalty oath, so they released him." Mandy replied, making quotation marks with her hands when she said "victim".
Lip snorted. That bitch would have deserved to die for what she had done to Carl and Ian but he knew from Debbie, that she and Mickey hadn't intended to kill her and just thought that she was dead. Not that anyone would have been sad about that but unfortunately she had come back with a gun, ready to kill Mickey and in the end he was locked up.
"Are you here to visit Mikhailo Milkovich?" A woman in a white lab coat made her way towards them. Mandy nodded. "Yeah."
"Then follow me, please." The doctor said and turned around, Mandy, Iggy and Lip quickly followed her. They entered a small room with a desk, some chairs and a couple shelves, obviously the doctor's office. She sat down behind the desk and pointed to the chairs in front of it. "Please have a seat."
When they were all seated she said: "Well, my name is Dr. White and I'm the one who performed both surgeries of Mr. Milkovich. One when he arrived and another one just a couple hours ago."
"How is he?" Mandy asked and Lip could see how she was rubbing her hands nervously against her thighs.
"As you were already told, we were able to stop the bleeding and close the wounds caused by the knife he was attacked with." Dr. White explained in a calm voice, "But unfortunately the injury in his spine was very severe and..."
"The hell does that mean?! What about the tests you were going to do?" Iggy interrupted her impatiently.
"It's hard to say because we still have to run some tests when he's conscious but he will probably not be able to move his legs. We have to check if he can still feel impulses below his waist but he's not going to be able to walk again."
She paused to let the information sink in and Lip saw how Mandy closed her eyes and heard how Iggy breathed in heavily and he felt his hands getting cold. What would he tell Ian? How would he tell him?
"I know this is a shock to you but on the other hand there was a big chance that he wouldn't survive. He's a fighter."
Mandy laughed bitterly. "Yeah, we know he's a fighter. He's been fighting for his whole fucking life."
Dr. White looked at them, obviously hesitating. "What?" Lip asked.
"The report I got from prison says that his father did that to him and I also saw a lot of different scars on his body. Am I right by assuming that those come from his father as well?" She said, moving uncomfortably in her chair.
"Probably." Mandy answered, "But he also got shot twice and in several other fights, why?"
"Are there any children under eighteen in your household?" The doctor asked, "If that's the case I need to inform child protective services."
Iggy snorted. "No, it's a little late for that by now, plus our dad has been locked up like half of our childhood."
Lip saw something that could be pity in the doctor's eyes. "South Side." He explained. She nodded.
--
"Can we see him now?" Mandy asked, blinking her tears away.
"I have to explain a few things to you." Dr. White answered. "Considering his condition and recovery."
Mandy sighed. She didn't want to hear it. Didn't want the doctor to list all the things he wouldn't be able to do but she had to listen. Had to make sure not to miss anything so she could help her brother. Although she felt like she couldn't help at all.
"Mr. Milkovich will have to spend at least four months in the hospital in order to make sure that his spine injury heals properly." Dr. White said and then corrected herself: "I mean in order to make sure there won't be more damage to his spine." Mandy closed her eyes. Four fucking months?
"During his time here he will receive physical therapy. Our tests say that fortunately he won't have problems regarding his ability to empty his bladder and his intestine, so we don't have to discuss that. Also he is probably going to be able to have sexual intercourse in the future because the paralysis is only in his legs."
God, she didn't want to have to know if Mickey was still gonna be able to piss or have sex. She knew that he would die because he would feel so ashamed if he could hear the doctor right know. She hadn't even thought about this kind of things but apparently she should be thankful that he would still be able to do this private stuff on his own.
"Do you have any questions so far?" Dr. White asked and all three of them answered "No."
"Okay, so I'm going to inform you about the requirements regarding his home. You will have to make sure that he can reach all the places needed, meaning a bed, a bathroom and kitchen. Does he live in a house or apartment?"
"House." Iggy answered after he shared a short look with his sister.
"Does it have more than one story?"
"No." Iggy said again.
"Well, if there's any stairs... for example if the house has a porch..." "It does." Iggy interrupted.
"Then your insurance will cover the cost for a ramp, as well as an accessible shower and the wheelchair."
The wheelchair. Mickey's legs to-be. Mandy swallowed hard.
"I know that all of this must be really hard for you." Dr. White added and she actually sounded like she gave a shit. "It is going to be hard especially for him, so I recommend that he sees a psychologist to figure out if he also needs help to mentally deal with his disability."
Disability. From now on her brother was disabled, therefore dependent. He needed help, someone to be there, at least in the beginning if not always. Could Iggy take care of him? Or would she have to give up her job and move back in? But what about the insurance then? Or her dream to get out of this shithole called South Side? As soon as the last thought popped into her head she felt guilty. This wasn't about her.
"Uhm, can we see him now?" Lip asked and interrupted her thoughts. "Yes." Dr. White said.
She lead them to a room at the end of the hallway that contained her office.
"The anesthesia still has an effect, so he's probably sleeping." She explained when she opened the door.
Mandy entered the room, followed by her brother and Lip before the doctor closed the door, leaving them alone.
The room was big enough for two beds but at the moment Mickey was the only patient there. His bed was next to the window that offered a great view to the parking lot of the hospital. She eyed every inch of the room, the walls, the floor, the TV in the corner hanging from the ceiling, just to avoid looking at her brother. But then she did. Looked at the person lying in the bed. As Dr. White had assumed, he was asleep. His skin paler than ever, matching the bandage around his head. He was linked to several machines which were quietly beeping. It was the only noise in the room. She stepped closer and saw the bruises and scratches covering his face. He also had a black eye and small cuts in his cheek.
Terry had left his typical marks and that was only Mickey's face. She didn't want to think about the rest of his body left alone his legs.
There was a chair next to the bed which she sat down on and grabbed his hand with the U-UP tattoos. The one with FUCK laid on his other side where she could see a needle in his arm, connected to an IV.
His fingers were warm which she was surprised about. It felt good because suddenly she noticed that she had been cold since she had got to the hospital.
--
Lip slumped onto the small couch on the wall, next to Iggy. He had only come here for Ian, because he wasn't sure how his little brother would have reacted to the things the doctor had just told them or to the sight of Mickey. Fiona and he had agreed that Lip would go and check on Mickey if Fiona made sure that Ian stayed home. He didn't know that Lip was here right now and Fiona had probably said that there weren't any visitors allowed yet. But he wasn't sure if Ian would come even if he knew he could.
Mickey's eyes were closed and his breath was calm. He looked kind of peaceful, something he had never really seen on him before. Ian probably had.
--
Iggy and Lip left about half an hour later. Her brother had to run some errands Mandy didn't really want to know about and Lip said he had to go to work. She called her boss and told him about the situation. She got a week off. When she put her phone in her pocket, she felt a twitch in Mickey's hand that she was still holding.
"Mickey?" She asked, her heart pounding hardly in her chest.
He slowly opened his eyes but didn't really seem awake yet. She squeezed his hand. "Mickey, can you hear me?"
He tried to focus his gaze on her and started the attempt to say something but failed.
"You wanna drink something?" She asked and took the cup of water a nurse had placed there earlier and helped him to take a couple zips before she put it back.
"The fuck happened?" Mickey tried again and this time she understood.
"Hey, shithead." She said and couldn't help but smile as she saw his response in form of flipping her off.
"You don't remember?" She asked. Dr. White had told her that could happen when someone woke up after a traumatic experience but he would probably remember within a couple hours.
"Got in a fight." He managed to get out, obviously trying to fight the numbing feeling, caused by the painkillers the machines were pumping in him.
"Yeah, you could put it like that." She said and tried to keep herself from crying again.
He shouldn't have to know yet, that something was wrong.
"Why the fuck are you holding my hand?"
She didn't respond and he didn't take his away.
"Is that a fucking hospital?" He asked as he noticed the needle in his right arm and the machines around him. She nodded.
"What about the other guy? He also here?" He had a cocky grin on his face but his eyes couldn't feint her, he was in pain despite all the substances that were being pumped into his body.
"No." She croaked, trying to hold her tears back, "Prison."
"Right, I was gonna get out that fucking place. Did I do anything too stupid, so I go back there when I'm out of here?"
"No, you're a free man." And she felt a sting in her guts at that lie. He wasn't going back to prison, but he would never be free again.
"Good." He said before he dozed off.
She allowed her eyes to let out the tears. How long in his whole life had he actually been free? Less than a year, between that night at the Alibi and the day everything went to shit.
Mickey slept most of the day and Mandy stayed with him, watching TV and reading the stupid magazines someone had left on the table in the corner. Every couple hours a nurse came in, adjusted the machines and checked on him. It was almost 5pm when he woke up again. "Still here?" He asked, "Since when are you so fucking clingy?"
She didn't get to answer because the door opened and Dr. White rushed into the room, followed by a bunch of young wanna-be doctors.
"Hello, Mr. Milkovich." She said, smiling at him as the group of medics was standing behind her shooting curious looks at Mickey.
"I prefer Mickey, if that's alright." And Mandy couldn't resist the smile that appeared on her face when she heard how her grumpy brother could be so polite. If they were in South Side he would have just told the person who would dare to call him "Mr." to fuck off. But here he didn't have to maintain a reputation, she figured, so he could be nice. Or at least not a complete asshole.
"Okay, Mickey. My name is Dr. White but everybody that spends some time here skips the title and just calls me White."
His eyes flickered for a split second.
"Is it okay for you if my young colleagues here stick around for a few tests? They won't be here when I inform you about your condition."
Now there was serious worry in his eyes as he looked at Mandy. She nodded at him, reassuringly.
As far as she knew the tests were there to check if he was still able to feel anything in his legs. Something she was hoping for so fucking badly.
"I'm sorry" White said, "but I have to ask you to step out during the tests Mrs Mil..."
"Mandy." She said and stood up. The doctor nodded at her as she walked out and she knew that she wasn't allowed to be in there because White didn't want her to react in any way that would make Mickey suspicious, if the tests didn't turn out the way they were hoping for.
It felt like ages until the door opened again and the medics came out. The last one held it open so she could slip in. White was writing something in the binder she was holding as she showed her to sit down. Mandy took her seat beside Mickey's bed and the doctor grabbed another chair from the table with the magazines and sat down next to her.
"Well, do you know what exactly happened Mickey?" White asked. Just breathe Mandy told herself, as she tried to stay calm.
"I grabbed my stuff to get out of that shithole and then I got into a fight with someone." Mickey answered, nervously eyeing White. He seemed to know that this wasn't just it.
"Yes, but do you know who you got into it with?"
"If I did I would probably just fucking tell you, wouldn't I." Mickey snapped. Mandy swallowed. There it was: The defense mode her brother was mostly in, something he had built up over the years trying to protect himself from their father.
White didn't seem offended and replied: "You were attacked by your father Terry."
The second he heard the word "father" Mickey's gaze hardened and his fingers formed fists. Signs of anger and fear. The doctor continued.
"You were brought here with several injuries caused by a knife, punches and hard kicks. We immediately performed surgery on you in order to stop your bleeding. We managed to close the wounds. They should heal within a couple weeks."
"Is that all?" Mickey simply asked but Mandy knew he was afraid of the answer.
"I'm sorry but no. Your spine was injured as well. We stabilized it but there's a permanent damage."
Mickey didn't look at White neither at Mandy, an undefinable expression on his face.
White seemed like she didn't want to go on but she did.
"Mickey, I have to tell you that won't be able to walk again."
He didn't react, just kept staring at some spot behind them.
"But our tests say that you can feel impulses below your waist."
She stopped and Mandy couldn't blame her. How the hell would you continue after that? Tell him that he was still able to take a shit or get a boner?
They remained silent for a couple minutes in which Mickey didn't move at all.
"Out." He finally said, his voice barely hearable.
White and Mandy left.