God has planned Happiness for each of us at the right time;
it is only that he does not share his calendar with us.
I laughed at the words in front of me at my laptop screen. Who has a proof that God has such a calendar? I have a proof that he does not- I have had constant disappointment since the past one year and it did not seem that “LORD ALMIGHTY” had anything planned for me in that calendar of His.
And so I decided to ask him. Prayer is what everyone did and as the saying goes, ‘you do what you always did and you get what you always got’. As crazy as it sounded, I decided to send an email.
“Dear Heavenly Father,
I wanted to talk to you. I really hope that you will reply. It is said that you have planned everything for everyone. What about me, Father? Piano was my life and now that I have lost my arm, how can I play? The accident has ruined me.
No one’s life is a bed of roses, I know. But my life has been so unfair.
Why me?
-Kay
And I pressed send.
“ERROR! Please specify at least one recipient”
Now who would know God’s email address. If I were God what would my E-mail address be? Not that God would actually have an address, but since I had already typed the E-mail I decided to type an imaginary address. And that’s how I came with this address – rulestheworld_residesinheaven@peace-peace.com
Why I ever chose this email address, I myself don’t know, but no sooner had I pressed sent I received a reply.
Yes, a reply from one who resides in heaven and rules the world- God.
‘ Dear Kayla,
Be strong, child.
Disappointment to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal; it strengthens, tempers, intensifies, but never destroys it.”
Keep calm and have patience. I shall help and guide you always. But, l have a deal.
-Your Heavenly Father
What electronic device would God have used to reply?
Steve Jobs must really have made heaven techno-savvy.
This had to be a prank.
‘For all I know you could be a stalker’ I replied. After all who had not read of those horrible stories of murders due to e-mail with strangers? But the fact that the mail had been addressed with my real name, name that I rarely used and no one knew, was strange.
Dear Kayla,
You find it unbelievable. You have very little faith in me, I must say.
By the way, I don’t need Steve Jobs or any of his electronics to send a mail.
Good night child
-God
My heartbeat accelerated to a rate that I did not know even existed. I had received a reply, from God. I somehow knew that moment that I did not need any proofs. That night, before going to sleep, I prayed for the first time in years to my new heavenly friend.
Next morning I woke up happier than I had been since days, because I knew, for the first time in so many days that someone was looking out for me. I could not help but smile.
I looked up at the sky and said ‘what deal was it? Count me in!’
‘Kay-Kay!
So you have accepted the deal? Without knowing what I have planned? Good girls don’t do that, but then again no girl sends an e-mail to me! So, my deal- As you asked me to guide you and help you, I will. But promise me not to question ‘why’ ever. I will be there for you whenever you need me, but my only rule is that you will trust me and have faith in me, do not ask me why.
Even though you said that you have already agreed, I am still giving you a chance to back out.
Fine with you, dear?
- Your heavenly friend
I smiled at the screen and nodded but the smile faded as soon as my eyes landed on the piano. My fingers itched to play. My soul longed to create music. The passion that overcomes when you play, I longed for that passion, I yearned to play. I felt my phone vibrate in my hand and looked down to see that my friend had sent me a new mail.
‘Kay-Kay,
Please don’t be upset. Whatever I do, I do for good. Go and play. Try, it’s going to be hard at first but you are not ordinary. Fight back like you always do and most of all, have faith in me.
Try.
-your heavenly friend’
I asked Him for the power and the patience, and started to play. It was even harder than the first time I had played when I was 6, but I was not going to give up, not when God was with me, literally.
I tried once, I failed.
I tried twice and I failed.
I tried again and again and I failed again and again.
And so I tried every day.
There were days I would give up, there were days when I was too depressed to play, but then that friend of mine, always helped me and made me smile. I blindly did as I was told, I trusted him.
And then one day, I played the Lord’s Prayer without any difficulty. My happiness knew no bounds and within seconds, my entire life had changed, again.
And life went on; my heavenly friend was with me when I was low, when I was not able to play the piano through everything. He e-mailed me whenever I needed him.
There were times when I was treated differently, when I was looked at with pity, like I was something fragile and made of glass. That was what I hated the most. I wanted a normal life but I was constantly reminded of my handicap, no one let me be normal again. He told me that it would me make me strong. I did not know how, but I believed him.
‘Hey friend,
Don’t you have a name?
What happens when we die? Is it true that our souls go to hell or heaven as per our deeds?
Why did you make us, humans? Do angels exist?
Is it true that you create each one of us specially and you plan our futures for us? How do you do that?
How old are you?
-Kay Kay
I was inquisitive. I could not wait to receive the reply. I had so many questions running through my mind.
‘Hey Kay Kay,
Good gracious! So many questions! And I know that you still have more questions in your mind. Control your inquisitiveness little girl! I have my secrets that I cannot share. I’m a mystery after all. I cannot share that much with you.
Now that you can play the piano impeccably with one hand, I want you to participate in a competition. You have worked hard reaching where you have, and your journey now is not going to get any easier. Just work hard, stay strong and have faith in me.
Practice hard.
-your heavenly friend
I smiled when I read at the message. I loved the name ‘Kay Kay’ and the way he would always call me his child or his little girl. In the little time we had become friends he played the role of my mentor, my father and my friend.
For the next month I worked hard, day and night for that performance. My family and friends supported me, though I still got that much hated special treatment. I had never put in so much efforts into anything ever before, but then nothing had ever meant so much for me. There was a small voice in my head that kept on saying that my pen pal from heaven will not let me loose.
My life was slowly getting better and I found a reason to smile again. I would spend my time not whining around, but focusing on what I had. I practiced like never before and maybe I was too confident about winning.
All my dreams and hopes came shattering down that day of the performance. After all the hard work and practice, I thought I was going to win. When I did not, it felt as if I had been crushed. The truth hit me like a strong gust of wind. I could never play with one hand. It was the best performance I could have given, but the judges were not satisfied. I started to doubt my abilities once again and my faith wavered.
And that was then I questioned Him. I was angry and disappointed and in my frustration I forgot about our deal, and I asked why.
No sooner had I spoken the word that I regretted it from the bottom of my heart. But I was stubborn as a mule, I was blind but most of all I was a human. I saw the present, but God had planned the future. That day of my performance, a journalist saw me and contacted me. She was impressed and wanted to do an interview with me. I told my story and played the piano on national television. Soon more and more people were calling me for interviews and I was being invited to speak to clubs and organizations of the physically handicapped. I was famous overnight. I met so many people, and made so many friends. I was told that I was an inspiration for so many.
Through all this I tried to contact my friend so many times. I prayed, tried E-mailing, but to no avail. I had broken the deal after all. Even if I don’t talk to Him anymore, I know He is looking after me. My accident was a blessing in disguise. It changed my life in so many good ways. I know the real meaning of life now. It is not about going through the cycle of life, but it is about living it. It is to see beauty, not in clothes and make up, but in smiles and laughter. I now know that what does not kill you makes you stronger. I believe my Father will not give me anything that I will not be able to handle. ‘Happily ever after’ is only in fairytales, my life may or not have a happy ending. I don’t know anything about tomorrow. Who has seen the future? My Heavenly friend has. So every night, I give up my worries to Him. Whatever life may throw my way, I have my friend up there looking after me. We keep on asking questions, we keep on criticizing. If only we realize that it’s not our job. There is God who is doing all the planning; we only have to trust him. The more we depend on God the more dependable we find He is. Our life is like a novel. We keep worrying about tomorrow and we keep crying about yesterday when we are not even the writers. It is God’s novel, and we just have to let him write it.
And since I know that He is writing it, I know there will be happy ending. Joy is sometimes a blessing, but it is often a conquest. we are going to suffer, we will have difficult times, and we will experience many disappointments — but all of this is transitory it leaves no permanent mark. And one day we will look back with pride and faith at the journey we have taken- because the writer of our life is God.
And today when people ask who my best friend is, I say God. They think I am crazy. But well, they don’t know anything about my best friend, about my E-mails with God.