Anna:
I am running away. With tearful eyes and shaking limbs I pack my bags in the middle of the night, moving as silently as I can fearful to wake the sleeping monster in my bed. For so long it was the bed we shared together, despite everything you put me through I always forgave you. Never second guessing your words. After all you loved me; you would never lie to me…
I was such a fool. You were lying the entire time. You never loved me, you used me. Now I have to escape before you wake up and stop me for good.
Grabbing my duffel bag I grunt as I heave it from the ground. It’s heavy… Walking out of the small one bedroom house I hurry away from the cage I’d been trapped in for so long. A few hours later the sun is blooming from underneath the horizon and I can feel my body start to react to the lack of him…and it. I need to relax… My body trembles and a slow, dull headache began to build behind my eyes. Pulling into the parking lot of a shopping complex I feel the emotions build up within me. Tears prick my eyes sharply as I feel the shakes burst forth from within. I’m so scared… Sobs wrack my body. I’m free. My heart hammered in my chest. Where do I go from here? I have no one… He made sure of that… He took everything from me. My friends one by one drifted away, my family disowned me… I have nobody to go to, no money, nowhere to rest my head…
A sudden memory hit me like a bucket of ice cold water. Him... There was only one person I could go to… The one person I would rather jump off a cliff than go to, but I didn’t have any other choice… He lived a few towns over; hopefully he lived in the same apartment as before… I tried to push away the memories, but they overwhelmed me; 18-years old, loving recklessly and living wildly…; before he walked in and got me hooked, before everything fell to pieces. Four years and so much has changed…
The apartment building looked the same as before. It felt wrong walking up these stairs after what happened. I didn’t move my bag from the car; I was surprised I could even drive here with how bad I was shaking. From fear, withdrawals, or both I didn’t know. 335B the familiar number burned into the back of my mind.
“I wonder if he will even recognize me.” I laughed coldly to myself. Ringing the doorbell I waited and no one answered. Turning I looked at the parking lot, his truck wasn’t here… Maybe he’s out… or he did move. The sun was low on the horizon when I leaned against the wall next to his door, pulling my hoodie close around me I pulled my knees up resting my head on them I fell asleep. I’ll deal with finding somewhere to stay tomorrow…
Nick:
“Hey Nick!” Clarisse called from the front of the bar. I looked up from wiping down the counter. “Wanna go out to dinner with all of us tonight?” She asked smiling like always, always the same offer.
“Nah,” I shrug, “You guys go on without me.” She sighs rolling her eyes.
“How are you going to get a girlfriend staying home all the time?” She placed her hands on her hips.
“Next time…” Was all I said before returning to wiping down the bar, I watched as they left, Clarisse, Damien, and John. They were good coworkers. Clarisse was a bit desperate to get my attention, John drank too much, and Damien was a player, but they all had their good points too. Sighing I locked up the bar for the night and headed home. Stopping by the convenience store I picked up some bread and milk.
How long am I going to keep this up? Just living, not improving my life in any way… Clarisse is right… I really should start getting my life together.
Pulling into my usual spot I hold my grocery bags in one hand and my keys in the other. Walking up the stairs I pause as I turn towards my door. Someone is sleeping by my door… Sighing I walk over.
“C’mon you can’t sleep there!-” I stop as the sleeping face looked strikingly familiar. My body ran cold as memories stung in the back of my mind. “Anna…” I whisper. She looked a lot worse off than when I last saw her… Walking away from me with him. Her once long beautiful hair was cut short, and her complexion was pale. She looked sick and starving. Unlocking the door I put my bag down on the counter and walked back outside.
I was surprised by just how light she was. The baggy clothes she wore had hidden just how sick she was. Closing the door behind me I sighed and set her on the bed. What have you gotten yourself into? My heart ached in my chest. After showering I laid down on the other side of my bed watching her sleep. She had curled up on her side pulling the blankets closer around her body.
Anna:
Warm… It’s so… freaking… warm! Grimacing I kick the suffocating blankets off my body my foot connected with something hard and a loud “Ow!” sounded from beside me. My body went rigid. Where am I? Fear constricted around my throat as I scrambled off of the bed crashing to the floor. My heart banging in my chest. Looking up I froze. Looking almost exactly the same as four years ago sitting up in the bed hair a mess around his familiar face was a very tired and confused Nick.
“That’s how you repay me for letting you sleep in my bed?” He asks casually as if nothing had happened, as if it hadn’t been four years. As if I hadn’t betrayed him and broken his heart.
“…I…Nick…” I look at the wooden floor underneath me. Tears forming in the corners of my eyes.
“Anna…” He sighed running a hand through his unkempt brown hair. “We can talk about that later. Right now I just want to know why you just randomly show up on my doorstep like this.” He looks away and then stands up stretching. He walks shirtless to the small kitchen popping bread into the toaster.
Standing up I stretch my entire body sore from head to toe I ached all over.
“You hungry?” He glances over at me from the kitchen.
“Yeah.” I sigh walking over I sit across the counter from him. A few minutes later he places a plate of toast and eggs in front of me and then slides a coffee as well. “So…” I sigh, “How’ve you been?” He chuckles.
“I work at a bar, and live in a crappy apartment.” He shrugs. “It could be worse.”
“What happened to starting your own book shop?” I ask before sipping the coffee.
“Eh…” He scratched his head. “I gave up on that.” I set the cup down, feeling so uncomfortable.
“Have a girlfriend?” I prompted trying to lessen the tension in the air. He stared at me deadpan.
“Does it look like I have a girlfriend?” He gestured towards the empty apartment. I shrugged.
“Touchy.” I whisper from behind my cup rolling my eyes.
“So did you walk here or…?” He sighed. I look up and cocked my eyebrow.
“Do I look like I’m able to walk that far?” I shook my head pulling out a pair of keys from my pocket. “I drove dumbass.” He shrugged.
“How was I supposed to know?” He sniffed. “Why didn’t you call before hand?”
“You blocked my number. Remember?”
“…right.” He sighed. “Forgot about that.”
“Yeah.” Was my reply. I finished eating and drinking the coffee before I dared speak again. “I… Can I stay here for a few days?” I look up into his deep drown eyes. He looked shocked and confused.
“Why? What happened with what’s his name?” He grimaced looking away. Ice shot through my chest.
“…Zack. His name was Zack.” I whisper my hands clenched into tight fists.
“Yeah him.” Nick looked away, his face tense.
“It…didn’t work out…” I replied. My stomach twisted and I could feel my body shaking.
“How long exactly?” Nick asked still not facing me.
“Just until I can get a job and find a place to stay…”
“So what? A month?”
“Yeah. I think a month is enough time.” I shrug.
Nick helped me bring my bag up to the apartment. It was different than before. The walls weren’t covered in posters and the bookshelves sat on the far wall untouched. The stereo and stack of CD’s were also dusty.
“You should take a shower.” He threw a towel at me. “You look like shit.”
“Okay.” I laugh humorlessly. Gathering my clothes from the duffel I freeze as my phone rings. Looking down at it I feel my entire body start to shake. Lifting it slowly I look at the caller ID. It was him. I quickly ended the call, but he called back right away. Turning my phone around I rip out the battery then toss it back into the duffel. Without a word I head to the bathroom, clothes and towel in hand. I could only imagine how angry he must be… I shivered closing the door behind me. I hope he didn’t find me ever. The first lesson I learned in our first year together was that his temper was the worst, but no matter how careful I was I could never go a day without angering him. Pulling my hoodie and pants off I avoided looking in the mirror, although from the corner of my eye I could still see the black and blue marks scattered across my deathly pale skin. The way my bones stuck out like swords, so sharp and angled. I cringed away from the mirror and turned the shower on. The warm water was so nice and comforting I didn’t want to leave.
After I had washed my hair and body I wrapped the towel around myself and stepped out into the steamy bathroom. I pulled my jeans on and was pulling my shirt on when the door opened.
“I just need my…” Nick froze his eyes didn’t meet mine but instead trailed down my bare back. With one quick movement I pulled my shirt over my body and brushed past him. My heart was racing and my cheeks were on fire. I quickly sat on the bed my back to him as I went through my clothes looking for socks. I didn’t want to look backwards at him, but I could feel him. Staring at me… I felt as if I would explode if this continued. I sighed as I finally found my socks. Pulling them on my feet I walked towards the door where my shoes were. Sitting with my back to the wall I tugged my boots on. Lacing them up I risked glancing up at him where he had moved like a ghost to the bed. He was staring at the floor.
“I’m going out to look for a job.” I dared not speak louder than a whisper. I had to get out of here. I felt so nervous. I didn’t know what he was thinking, but I didn’t want to wait for him to say something. I felt so ashamed of having him see those. I knew he didn’t just see the bruises, but also the hickeys. They littered my body like marks of shame. Standing I opened the door and was halfway out when he spoke sharply.
“How could you?!” He growled. “How could you let him do that to you?!” His voice shook. My muscles tightened as tears blurred my vision. I turned to look at him his eyes bore into mine.
“I didn’t just let him do those things!” My voice cracked. “You think I wanted that to happen?” My body shook. “You don’t know how many times I tried to end it.” My knees ached as I slid to the floor. “To get out. To leave…” I wrapped my arms around my body and all me emotions poured out like a broken dam. “I couldn’t… When I tried to leave… He’d… He’d beat me.” I spat out the words angrily. “He drugged me!” I yelled at the ground folding in on myself. I could just barely feel Nick’s hand on my shoulder. “He raped me!” Suddenly the ground lifted away from me and all I could feel were Nick’s arms wrapped tightly around me, holding me to his chest. At that moment that was all I needed. It was all I held onto.
“Anna.” Nicks voice floated down to me from where I lay curled up in my mind. “I love you. I will do everything in my power to keep you safe. He won’t get to you, I won’t let him.” The promise lifted the unbearable weight from my shoulders. Knowing Nick I knew he wouldn’t go back on his promise. Wrapping my arms around his neck. I let him carry me to bed, where we spent the entire day watching TV. I didn’t really pay attention to the shows. I just faded in and out of sleep. Nick by my side every time I woke up.
After that day, everything slowly started to get better. I went to group twice a week for my addiction. Slowly but surely the shivers and muscle aches went away. I found a job and things started to look up. Every day was a battle, I could still remember the feeling of the drugs running through my body and I ached for it. Before I knew it the month was up and I was moving into my own apartment. Nick understood that we would have to wait before I went straight back into a relationship. I got a job at a bar & grille near where Nick worked. On Friday nights we would go out for dinner with our work buddies and just have fun. Then afterwards go back to either mine or his place and watch movies till we fell asleep. This was our routine, and after a while this became my everyday life.
Soon it had been four months since that day… Since I’d left and I hadn’t forgotten, I don’t think I ever will, but now it seemed like a bad dream. Thoughts of Zack and those four years were locked away as I poured my heart and soul into going to work and now going to my college classes. Both I and Nick planned on getting a degree in business. Things were looking up and I knew this was the start of my life…
“What movie did you want to watch tonight?” I talk into the phone smiling to myself as I leaned against the brick wall behind where I worked.
“Uhm…” Nick thought aloud to himself going over a few recent movies that he wanted to see. “What about Inception? I know its a few years old, but I really like it.”
“Mm…” I contemplated it, “If we watching it I get to choose the pizza this time!” Nick groaned but eventually sighed.
“Fine, you get to choose the pizza.” I smiled.
“My breaks almost over. I’ll see you tonight.” We exchanged goodbyes and I pushed off from the wall. Turning down the alley I headed towards the back door to my work place. Ahead of me someone turned down the alley. As I tugged the door open I noticed them and my blood ran cold.
“Hello… Anna.” His icy blue eyes seemed to glint maliciously in the evening light. His familiar pale white hair fell down his shoulder in a braid and his piercings glinted in the light.
“…No…” I managed to whisper. “It can’t be… How’d you find me…?” I felt my entire body shake as he took a step closer. “Zack.”