Nandani's POV
I slapped him...Shit!! What have I done? But I can't apologies for it, not after what he had said. Without wasting a second, I turned around and just slept. I heard the door open and shut but I buried my face into the pillow and cried. All my hopes were connected to this baby. Mom is getting closer to Manik, she is trying to forget everything, just for the sake of this baby. Our friends were so excited, Rishab was so happy! This baby mattered to me so much too, it was a part of me and Manik! Then why? All these days he was upset about this!! He never expressed his feelings about the baby, I should have understood then only. This is what I had been afraid of all along, his insecurities would come between us. But now what do I do? Will I have to choose one from either? No no no...I need to sleep before I overthink everything. I will talk to Manik, I will ask his reasons and I know we will make this work. But tomorrow, because just as I need the space, Manik too needs sometime to think this through.
I woke up and turned around not to find Manik. He must have not come here the whole night. Why does he always to this? I have been waiting the whole day and now night too, but he didn't come. He just left...again! Obviously Nandani, you slapped him. I don't even know what's in his mind and yet I just slapped him. I could have asked for an explanation at least, but no! Where are you Manik? Office, I am sure he is still there. I have to go and drag him back here.
As expected, he was still in the office struggling with some papers. "Manik." I called out and he kept gazing at me for a while. He was guilty about what he said that's why he couldn't gather the courage to look in my eyes. "What are you doing here? It's 9:30 already, let's go home." I said but he avoided me.
"I am a little....busy today, will have to work all night. You go home, please." He said and again started shuffling the papers in his hands.
I walked across the cabin and grabbed those annoying papers behind which he was trying to hide. "Let's go home Manik!" I said, rather ordered! He tried to think for an excuse but eventually agreed.
"Fine...but, let's not go home." He requested.
"Okay....chalo." I said. Perhaps a quite place would neutralise the turmoil in our minds. We sat at the Marine drive watching the ocean waves rising and falling.
"I am sorry that I always become the reason of hurting you." Manik said looking away.
"You don't want this baby, our baby.....your baby?" I asked controlling my wild thoughts on losing either one of them.
"The doctor said that your reports are not to good....your body is not strong enough to conceive the baby. There are high chances of you having a miscarriage at any stage of your pregnancy." He said.
"Do you want the baby?" I asked again.
"I asked you to abort the baby because I am scared it may harm you if things go wrong." He avoided my question once again.
"Look at me Manik....." I said and forced him to look at me. "This baby is my hope to get everything back to normal. I know how much you want mom to be the same again as before. Besides, it's our baby....a part of you and me. This baby will bring the best phase of our lives, then why don't you want the baby?" Tears rolled down my eyes as the words got out of my mouth.
"It's not that I don't want the....baby!" He said looking at me.
"Then?? I have noticed you have never spoken about the baby nor have you shown your feelings. Rather you have avoided me so many times regarding this....Tell me what's in your heart Manik!" I asked.
"I was scared...." He said after a long silence that killed me. But what...he is scared?? Of what? The baby? "It feels like we just got together and then the baby....it came so quickly. I am not even sure if I am ready for such a big responsibility. My childhood was not exactly perfect......I thought I was an orphan and always battled with myself if I wanted to know who my biological parents were. All these years I had spend hating two unknown people who abandoned me. Then I got to know the truth....Nandani, I don't even know what my mother's full name was....how can I be ready to have my child already. And...." He stopped and looked away.
"And....?" I asked.
"......and I....I though...I would....become less....important for you!" He said like a jealous boyfriend, except it wasn't another boy but his baby. I couldn't help but laugh at his words despite of the situation. "Why are you laughing?" He asked being the confused child.
I held his face between my palms and placed a long kiss on his forehead. "Manik....there is and never will be anything more important than you in my life...not even this baby. People may say that I won't make a good mother if they heard me say this but this is the fact. You are not a choice for me Manik....you are my everything that I need for survival. I may survive without oxygen....but not without you." I said.
He just chuckled at my words. "You need to be kept in labs for observations. You know like the first person on earth to survive without oxygen!" He mocked me while I hit him.
"Manik..!! Yeah it was a bit too cheesy.....go on the emotions yaar!" I said. Logically my words weren't true but I meant all of it. I took Manik's hand and placed it on my tummy. "But Manik...this is a part of us. Let's just give it a try....we may struggle, we may fight, we may get lost, we may fail....but if we are together we will survive. This baby may bring another meaning to our life." I said.
"Fine...but I need your promise on one thing.." He asked as he took both my palms in his hands. "Your body is not strong enough for...our baby yet. Your life will necessarily not be in danger but the doctor said that there may come a time during your pregnancy where we could have to...chose between your life or the baby's. If that ever happens....I want a promise that you will let me chose you!" He said seriously.
"But Manik...." I tried to argue. Even though Manik tops my priority but the baby will always be above myself in the same list. We could possibly think of all this when it happens...why does he want a promise now?!
"No...no arguments!" He said.
I just nodded my head as I don't think I could possibly say yes. If I was blessed with this, then I am sure God will take care of us...all three of us and this time will never have to come. We sat there for few more minutes, in each other's embrace just looking at the waves. Manik still kept his hand on my tummy which made me happy. We finally fought this out to.
"Nandani, I am going to need you at every step of my life from now. I really don't know how to handle kids...All my life, I have always ran away from kids...how will I handle my own...my own baby?" Manik spoke with a hint of excitement.
"Well more then me, I think we both will need google, youtube, books and mom the most." I said and he laughed. Happy days are on our way....
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