Beep-beep-beep. Beep-beep-beep.
Lauren lifted her head, brow dropped, eyes squinted, and she surveyed her surroundings.
Beep-beep-beep. Beep-beep-beep.
"What the hell is that?"
Camila moaned and pulled Lauren's arm back around her waist, locking their fingers together to hold her in place. "Ignore it. It will stop in a minute. Go back to sleep." The brunette was too groggy and far too content pressed against the diva to argue and nuzzled into Camila's hair.
"You smell good."
Camila smiled at the comment. "And I haven't even had my morning shower."
"Morning..." Lauren echoed in a groan. "Any chance you know what time it is? If that beeping was the alarm on your phone, then I can assume it is six in the morning?"
"Ha! No. I'm far too exhausted from work anymore to wake up that early. That's not even my exercise alarm. However, I can tell you that it is eight thirty by it."
Lauren's eyes flew open and she sat up quickly, startling the diva awake. "Shit!"
"What? What is it? What's wrong?"
Lauren wrestled the covers off of her and searched the floor for her clothing. "This isn't exactly my apartment Camila. People work here and K-" She was cut off by the sound of shuffling footsteps and crinkling of paper. Lauren ran her hands over her face in pure disbelief. "..and Kim is always here by eight fifteen. She's eager, remember?."
Camila instinctively drew the sheets up to cover her naked body as Lauren pulled on her blouse. "Well, get rid of her."
"How am I suppose to do that without her knowing exactly what happened?" She fluttered her blouse to show Camila the buttons were gone and she could no longer close it. The diva winced in regret of being so forceful with its removal. "Are you entirely ready to be outed to your biggest fan?"
Outed? Camila's eyes dropped from Lauren. Was she gay now? How did this all happen so quickly? "What do we do then?" She asked meeting Lauren's eyes weakly.
The photographer's heart thudded heavy in her chest when she saw the look of regret and uncertainty in Camila's eyes, but she pushed the heart ache away. Even if this was nothing more to her, Lauren still needed to get her client out of there with her dignity still in tact. "I need you to trust me for a minute."
Camila nodded. "Okay." Of course.
Lauren straightened her posture and cleared her throat lightly. "Kim? Is that you?" Camila snapped her eyes shut, but quickly remembered to trust.
There was a long pause and both women hoped it was due to shock of hearing another voice and not that the young assistant was looking for her boss. "Y-yes. I didn't realize you were here. I thought you just forgot to lock up." Lauren rolled her eyes at the notion of forgetting to lock up a room with tens of thousands of dollars worth of equipment just lying around. "Where are you?"
"I didn't mean to scare you, but I need you to do me a favor. Can you run down to the storage room and bring up the old lighting stands. I was brain storming and I need to see them." Camila silently praised Lauren's quick thinking and acting skills. "Can you get them now?"
"Yes, Ma'am." Both women breathed a sigh of relief as they heard footsteps departing and the ding of the elevator.
"Come one. Get to wardrobe and find something to wear. We can act like we are going to a breakfast meeting to catch up on old times." Lauren waved the diva past and watched as she ran to the other side of the long room wrapped in a white linen sheet. Adrianne was probably right. Camila didn't know what she wanted, only thought she did. Lauren pushed the thoughts aside and followed, in need of a new shirt.
They both scurried to get dressed in silence but Camila's eyes were glued to the Lauren's expressionless face. "Lauren...I..."
"Don't." She cut her off with s soft voice while fixing her hair. "Just forget it ever happened. It's okay. I understand."
She moved to exit but Camila jumped in her way. She didn't want it to end like this. She didn't know what was going through her mind or what to say, but seeing Lauren hurt was not an option. "No! I just...I..."
"Can't even look me in the eye." Lauren finished the diva's stumbling sentence with her own thought. "Two minutes ago you were cuddled up to me and now you can't even look at me. What am I suppose to think?" Her calmness wavered and a hint of frustration seeped through.
"Just give me a minute to process things. There's a lot there!"
Lauren inhaled a deep, calming breath when Camila finally did meet her eyes with a pleading stare. It was a lot. She couldn't really expect everything that happened yesterday to stick and they all of a sudden be this happy inseparable couple. Camila was ruled by her emotions, but they shifted from day to day. "Okay. I'm sorry. Just finish getting ready and I'll take you out to breakfast. Maybe we can talk about it then."
Camila nodded and let her pass. This is why things are suppose to be taken slowly. It was all her fault too. She pushed for it. Lauren was trying to be professional and was now being punished for Camila's rash decision. What had changed? She woke up so happy, happier than she has been in a long time. But it all just seemed so out of character for her. She hadn't seen Lauren in nearly a decade and now she was sleeping with her? She had never even been attracted to another woman before yesterday.
Lauren was disposing of the linens in a laundry bag when Camila found her. She tossed the bag into the corner and picked up her abandoned camera. "Battery's dead." Camila stepped back and let her pass so she could swap out the batteries and transfer the pictures to the computer. "We didn't actually take too many, but maybe we got lucky with a shot."
The diva watched over her shoulder as she flipped through the dozen or so photos and stared in amazement. Each one of them had that spark in her eye that Lauren had managed to catch in her last photo of their first set up.
"Those turned out well." Kim noted as she arrived with the lighting stands. "She has that look again. Almost like she is trying to eat you through the screen. How do you draw out a look like that?"
Lauren didn't answer, but Camila thought about it. The first time it happened, she had been immersed in Lauren's passion. This time she was just immersed in Lauren. "You have to make a connection." The photographer and assistant turned to look at the diva as she continued, peering into Lauren's eyes. "There needs to be a spark to get a look like that."
Kim nodded in the intense silent stare down between the other two women. "Right. Um, I saw you hadn't checked you messages yet this morning." Kim broke the awkwardness and pulled Lauren's attention away from the diva. "So I checked them for you. Just a few confirmations for tomorrow and a few for next week and a woman named Adrianne called. She wanted to meet up with you one evening. She said 'when everything turns out like she expected' for you to give her a call. She is available on Tuesday."
Camila's jaw clinched. "Are you ready for breakfast? I'm starving."
"I was wondering what you were doing back here so early." Kim remarked looking back to the diva with an intrigued smile, obviously never expecting to see her again after yesterday.
"Yes, Lauren and I have a breakfast date."
"Meeting." Lauren corrected her. "Breakfast meeting."
"No. Date." Green eyes met Camila's again but were still filled with caution. "Normally I require a date before sex, so last night was a freebee until I get my breakfast."
"Wow." Lauren huffed with a laugh, a little less than amused. "Where did your modesty go?"
"On the floor of this studio."
Lauren went three shades of red as Kim quickly excused herself. "You are the most bipolar yo-yo I have ever met. Figure things out, then mess with my emotions." Lauren walked off in her long strides of purpose and Camila was hot on her heels with short frantic steps.
"I have. I have figured it out."
The photographer tossed her a disbelieving glance over her shoulder as she continued walking. "No. You haven't."
"Will you stop walking? I can't keep up." Lauren ignored her request so Camila relied on her childish instincts, tackling Lauren to the ground and sat on top of her, holding her in place.
"Are you crazy? That hurt!"
"Deal with it. All you had to do was stop walking. You made your choice and I made mine." Camila waved off the concerned assistant who was rushing to her boss' aide. "Now you need to listen to me."
"I need to listen to you?"
"Yes, but that requires you to shut up." Lauren lowered her brow, unamused. This was definitely not the same Camila Cabello from high school. This one has balls. "I want you. I want to be with you. But you have to admit, from my end of things, this is all happening insanely quickly." Lauren opened her mouth to plead innocence in the blame but Camila covered her mouth. "I'm not done. You have spent many of the last seven years knowing who you are and how you feel towards me. This time yesterday, I still only knew you as the school girl who tormented me for her own amusement. Now, not even twenty-four hours later, I am waking up in your arms. I have over twenty years of memories of you as that school girl. Twelve hours of you as the most amazing woman I have ever met. I'm sorry that I needed to be reminded of how I got to that point."
She removed her hand and stood up, backing away a few steps as Lauren picked herself up off the ground. They stood panting in their frustrations with one another in silence, Kim's eyes bouncing between them, waiting for someone to talk. As the long seconds passed, she took it upon herself to speak first. "She sounded pretty convincing to me..."
"See." Camila pointed to the other brunette, thankful for the unexpected aide. "She understands. Lauren, I want to try this. I know I've caused a fairly crappy start, but I want to try. Please don't close me out." She took a step closer. "We can start this again slow, like it should have been. I'll learn more self-control." Lauren arched an eyebrow and Camila bounced her head towards her shoulder. "Okay, so I'll learn some self-control. Any amount is more than I have now. I'll work on it."
Lauren couldn't hide the tweak of her lips signaling her amusement in the diva admiting she needed to work on something, a flaw. Camila took another step closer, begging for an answer. Lauren finally nodded as Camila took her hand in hers. Their eyes dropped from each other and turned to the applauding assistant whose enthusiasm faded under their stare. "Sorry."
Camila smiled and Lauren rolled her eyes. "Hey!" The diva poked her in the side. "Don't roll your eyes at my biggest fan."
Lauren arched an eyebrow. "Are you already meddling in my work?"
"I am." She answered nonchalantly. "Now, I thought you were taking me to breakfast." Camila grabbed her coat and Lauren's, offering it to her with an out stretched hand but pulled it back as she reached for it. "Kiss me so I know you're not mad at me anymore."
"You kiss me so I know you really do want this."
Kim's eyes bounced between the two stubborn women again. "You two are going to starve at this rate."
"No we wont. I'll just go out without my coat." Camila scoffed at the photographer's level of stubbornness but smiled at her playful nature. "So shall we go? There's a nice little place down the street that serves some vegan food. You are still vegan, right?"
She nodded her head and smiled a little wider that she remembered. "At least it is close otherwise you might freeze before we get there." She commented brushing past Lauren and made her way to the elevator. "And stop looking at my ass."
Lauren's eyes shot upward and then to Kim as the assistant giggled. "She knows you quite well already. I didn't even know you were gay."
The photographer smiled with a bit of a blush. "I like to keep my personal life separate. Trying to learn from my past mistakes."
Kim nodded wit a hidden smile. "But last night doesn't count, right? Or is this a normal habit...to sleep with your models?"
Lauren narrowed her eyes, there was something to her comment that seemed...informed. "Are you...are you worried I am a womanizer and am going to hurt her?"
"I'm her biggest fan, of course I am."
"Hurry up, Jauregui. I'm hungry!"
Lauren took a step towards the exit but kept her eyes on her assistant. "You may be her biggest fan, but I'm still your boss. Remember that. Also, remember my personal life needs to stay personal. We aren't ready for this to come out yet. Whatever this is."
Kim nodded and made a hand motion of locking her lips together as Lauren finally left to join Camila in the elevator.
~/~/~/~/~/~
"I can not believe you walked all that way in a short sleeve shirt with snow flurries falling down out side." Camila lectured as she ran her hands up and down Lauren's shivering arms while they waited in line for their food.
"I can't believe you let me." Lauren retorted.
The diva roller her eyes and moved from Lauren's arms to her hands, pulling one from her pocket and massaging it between hers. "We are learning each other's level of stubbornness. It is a start. We do have seven years to cover, you know."
"So, you really want to give this a try?"
Camila looked up to Lauren's serious face and nodded her head slowly. "I honestly never considered anything like this ever happening, but now that it has, I would like to see where it goes." She dropped her eyes and pulled the remaining hand from Lauren's pocket to warm it as well. "I can't say that I am in love with you or that I have always wanted to be with you, but I like where this is heading."
"I can respect that. And because of it, I'll let you set the pace for how fast we take this. I have no regrets about last night, but maybe we should slow it down a bit."
"Yes. I agree. Let's try hand holding first." Camila interlaced their fingers and dropped their hands comfortably. "And try the mind blowing sex with the longest lasting orgasm I have ever had again later."
Lauren smiled and blushed, turning her face away from Camila. "Are you always so blunt?"
"Are you always so shy?" Camila cooed. It was endearing to see the once stone cold school girl melt away at a compliment.
"Order up."
Lauren thanked the man, handed Camila her food, and took hers separately as to never have to release the diva's hand and Camila fell a little further. She may not be in love with the woman yet, but she was definitely headed there. They took their seats at a tiny table inside and Lauren kissed her hand before she let it go. Taking it slow was quickly becoming a problem. All Camila wanted to do was lean over and devour Lauren's lips for breakfast.
"So, are we defining this, or..." Lauren inquired between bites of food.
Camila thought about it. Things were so easy with Lauren. It was when they threw the rest of the world in that things got scary. She knew what she wanted to say, but thing were so much more complicated than just saying: 'Hey world, this is my girlfriend. Now move on with your normal day'. Granted it wasn't uncommon for this type of relationship to occur in the theatre circuit, but those people were normally out before their careers took off. It was a bigger deal to come out when you had thousands of eyes on you.
Then there was Margaret to worry about too. Once she got over the shock and ranting about all of the high profile dates she had set up for Camila, she would be all over Lauren. She would want details on the relationship, how it came to be, what their past was about. Then it would start appearing in the magazines and newspapers. There would be questions about it in every interview she would have from this point on. Lauren would get endless phone calls at the studio asking for inside scoops. It was going to get messy.
"I don't know. If we define this, that I'm with you, then you get attached to me in the eyes of the rest of the world."
Lauren furrowed her brow and ate slower as she tried to follow. In her mind, that was the point of a relationship. To have the other person.
"Okay, let me try and explain that better. If you and I, as friends, were to have our picture snapped this morning, the caption would read; 'Camila Cabello and friend were spotted having breakfast'. If we were dating, it would read; 'Camila Cabello and new girlfriend Lauren Jauregui, the highly sought after photographer whose studio on whatever street has been buzzing with beautiful women traipsing in and out at all hours, were spotted having breakfast. Let's hope Camila isn't the jealous type'. Get it?"
"Got it. I become public domain and of high interest. Especially because of the girlfriend part." Camila nodded. "Then I guess we can't hold hands either." The diva's eyes widened in argument. "If I were to walk around holding your hand, they would know something was up. We are in one of those situations where we either embrace it or hide it completely. That, of course, is your call."
Camila hesitated eating and shifted her eyes between Lauren and her food. "And how is this just my decision? Do you not have any concerns about the side effects of being in a defined relationship with me?"
"No." Lauren answered flatly, shaking her head. "I have wanted to be with you for so long, I'll take whatever comes just so I can be. If it requires that we hide behind closed doors for awhile...I can do that too."
"Which would you prefer though?"
She huffed a little bit of a laugh and dropped her eyes to her food. "I would prefer not to have to try and fight my urges to touch you. Especially when you decide it is time to progress from hand holding to kissing. Because that is going to be hell. I have become a very affectionate person, you know...or don't know, but now you do. Still though, if I need to learn to deal with it because that is easiest for you, then I will. As long as I get you when no one else is looking."
Camila didn't want it to be like that but it would be easier right now. A relationship is hard enough, but adding a rough history and the world's prying eyes...it was going to be, as Lauren so put it, hell. "I don't know."
"Well," Lauren began shifting sides of the equation around to look at all the pros and cons. "The benefits of just coming out are freeing. We don't have to worry about whose watching every move we are making in fear that we will be discovered. But what about, like, the thing you said in the captions? About the beautiful women and rumors? We don't really know each other yet. Can we handle the rumors in the papers, not being really sure if they are rumors? We don't really have that base of trust yet.. Say you see a candid picture of me with another woman...do you get jealous or angry thinking there is a possibility I cheated on you? Do you even know if I have ever cheated on a partner before...not counting Shawn. High school doesn't count."
Camila froze for a second. Lauren had a point. She would have trusted Lauren wouldn't cheat but she really had no reason to believe so. She was nothing like the girl she knew in high school. She very well could have incriminating secrets or be the worlds best manipulator. "Okay. I'm following. But, have you? Cheated on a partner?"
"No. I haven't. I'm not the cheating type. But those are the things we have to learn so we aren't torn apart by the rumors. So, since we are just starting this out, maybe we should keep it on the down-low for a little bit. A few weeks or so. Not like a permanent or long term thing."
Camila nodded slowly and then quicker as she felt more comfortable with that idea than she did just coming out right away. They needed to be prepared for the worst. "Yeah. And then when I think I am ready, we can make it be known. At our own pace." Lauren smiled and nodded her head sharply in agreement. "Good to know you aren't the cheating type, by the way." She added later as a casual joke. "But what skeletons do you have in your closet that I should be worried about? You know, that way they are out in the open."
"Uuhhh..." Lauren sat back in her chair and pondered her answer. "Just to start off with honesty? Things you might not be thrilled to learn about later from someone else?" Camila nodded. "Okay...then I wont lie to you. The last four months...without Adrianne or the three year long commitment, I have to admit, that I might have garnered a bit of a reputation."
Camila arched an eyebrow. "A bit of a reputation?"
Lauren crossed her arms over her chest and dropped her eyes in slight embarrassment. "I've been enjoying the single life and having the opportunity to do so while my days revolve around beautiful models...I kinda, 'whored around' as my father would have put it."
Now both of Camila's eyebrows crept up to her hairline. "You 'whored around'? Like, how many woman are we talking about here? In four months? Are we talking one a day for a total of, what, a hundred and twenty?"
Lauren scoffed. "No. The studio wasn't open every day." The diva dropped her brow, unamused. "Maybe one or two a week. So, a dozen or so."
This honesty thing was creating its own challenges. Camila was slapped with a massive wave of jealousy and wanted nothing more than to take Lauren back to her apartment and claim her territory again. A dozen or so? Please, Camila would make sure Lauren would never even look at another woman like that again. "Well, I guess you should know that I am a bit possessive then."
"I know." Lauren beamed at the flustered brunette across from her. "You always have been. But I don't mind. Despite my actions over the last few months, I do enjoy being 'claimed' by someone. Even though we aren't defining this, I have no intentions of giving any other woman my attention."
"Okay. I appreciate that and it is reciprocated." The photographer tried to lessen her amused smile as Camila still tensed in her obvious jealousy. She loved it. The angry sex would probably be great right now, but she pushed the thought aside. They needed to take it slow. She could always strike that nerve again later to get a rise out of the diva. "So..." The diva began again as she finished up her breakfast. "Do you have any plans for Thanksgiving?"
She shook her head as she silently studied the woman across from her. Every movement and mannerism, memorizing them.
"Then would you spend it with me? I know it's not until next Thursday and things can change for you, but I'm heading home to Miami and I would like it if you came. I think I am going to wait until then to tell my mom and dad that I'm romantically interested, and in the basic definition, dating a woman. It would also give us the opportunity not to hide anything..." Camila wasn't sure what to expect as an answer. Lauren would probably be game for it but she hadn't been back in seven years. Obviously, she never intended to go back.
The photographer worried her bottom lip between her teeth. "That's in five days, right?" Camila nodded. "Then, sure. I would love to. Are your parents going to mind me being there? I'm still that bitchy girl from school to them too, you know."
Camila wiped her mouth with a napkin and waved her hand. "They will love to meet you. They never had the opportunity in high school and will understand that things change. People change. Especially when I tell them that you have been pining over me since graduation." Lauren rolled her eyes and blushed. "It's cute and they'll eat it up. They'll love you."
"I hope so." Lauren added with a smile. I really do hope so.