Louis held a sharp metal object in a firmly grip against his arm. He had found the shiny item lying on the floor in the hallway as he was in a rush to the bathroom. He needed to release some pain, and get back some kind of control over his body, and the only thing that worked for Louis was using a sharp object and pushing it down into his skin.
Louis didn't like the word 'cutting' nor 'self-harming' and instead would like to call it 'life escaping for a moment.' It didn't sound quite as bad as the other words.
Sighing loudly, he closed the door to his stall and sank down onto utterly disgusting toilet. He knew it was very risky to cut overtly and probably only people who lived on the edge would do it, but sometimes you just have to. He also knew that someone could walk in on a bleeding and vulnerable him anytime but he was ready to sacrifice that. All for the love of misery and pain.
In a go, the silvery item was pushing into Louis' thin forearm. Causing blood to drip out, and pain to shoot through every single vein and muscle on his body.
''I deserve this,'' he whispered out, needing to tell himself that this pain was his own fault. He couldn't put the blame on anyone else but himself. It is his own fault that he's gay. It's his own fault that he's ugly. It's his own fault that he's fat. It's his own fault that he is such a disappointment to the world. It's his own fault that nobody likes him. Everything is his own fault, and Louis bloody hell knew that.
He laid pressure on the sharp object again, this time moving it across his arm to cause a long line of blood rushing out of his body. Louis felt weak like this, but also so much stronger. He could feel blood pumping out of his body, and he could feel himself getting even more dizzy for every passing minute, but Louis didn't care enough about that to stop.
His vision became blurry just as he heard a loud slam of a door. A door that led to the stalls of toilets and sinks.
''Shit,'' he cursed weakly, immediately throwing away his still unnamed sharp object.
''Anybody here?'' A loud voice echoed through the ever so silent room.
Louis kept still, trying his hardest to not move an inch, knowing that that would totally reveal him to the still mystery man outside his toilet stall. Louis slowly brought his feet up to his stomach, hiding his legs from the open space under the door.
''I fucking know you're in there, Tommo! Come out and play as a man!'' The voice demanded, but Louis still didn't move. Why should he? Just to get beat up and then spit at? Hell to the no. He'd rather sit inside his stall, playing with his phone or something.
''You're a weakling, you know that, fag?'' The man shouted, and only now Louis recognised the voice as Zayn's. Fuck.
Louis could hear Zayn pushing all of the doors open, and then pause at the only locked door left, Louis'.
''You know what, Tommo, I think you're a huge fucking disappointment to the world,'' he spat as he kicked on the door to Louis' stall. ''You've never done anything good to anyone, you're just a fucked up mess that should die,'' he continued.
Louis could feel his eyes getting more watery and watery after every audible word Zayn said. He knew all of this was true, all of the things the raven haired boy said, but it still hurt like hell.
''If you don't fucking open this door soon, I will kick it open.''
''Please, leave,'' Louis pleaded. ''Please, please, please,'' he hiccuped as tears streamed down his face. The pain in his left arm was still there and Louis yelped as he covered the scars with his hand. He didn't want to bleed to death in the school's disgusting bathrooms. He needed to get out of here. But how?
Zayn was still waiting outside the door, probably ready to beat the shit out of Louis if he ever showed his face to him.
''You fucking queer, come out now!'' Zayn ordered.
Louis cried, he cried hard and loud. He didn't care about the fact that Zayn could clearly hear his broken sobs and screams. Everything was crushing down on him and he didn't have the strength to hold himself together anymore. His arms were weak, his legs felt like paper and his head was spinning with so many emotions and confusions that he thought he might explode soon.
Louis heard the banging on his door but he hadn't the strength to care. Suddenly the door bursted open and in came a furious Zayn. Louis could feel himself being thrown down onto the cold dirty tiled floor. He looked up for just a millisecond and saw Zayn standing above him. His face showed nothing but anger and he held his knuckles tight in a firm grip.
This is not good, was Louis first thought as he looked down to the floor again. Too weak to move.
''What the hell is that on your arms?'' Zayn asked as he brought his gaze over Louis visible scars.
Shit.
''No-nothing,'' Louis stuttered as he fiercely pulled his sleeves over his both arms, knowing that Zayn had just seen the weakest side of him.
''Why do you do that to yourself?''
''Why shouldn't I,'' Louis asked himself as he crawled towards one of the walls, pulling his legs up to his stomach and wrapping his long thin arms around them to keep them in place. ''I deserve this, as you say,'' Louis whispered.
The brown haired boy didn't even know why he was telling Zayn all of this, but he guessed he just didn't care about anything no more.
''That's right! You do fucking deserve this!'' Zayn confirmed as he kicked one time onto Louis legs. ''You're just a useless pice of shit, thinking that you are something that you're clearly not!'' He continued as he threw a punch to Louis right cheek.
Louis gasped in return as he felt the burning sensation swipe over the now red area. That'd definitely leave a pretty big mark later on.
Louis was quite startled of himself as he shouted a loud, ''Why are you fucking doing this?'' to the big guy hovering over him.
''Why are you here?'' He screamed as the tears kept streaming down his cheeks.
Zayn looked surprised when he heard Louis shouts. Why was Louis talking back? Zayn was the one to speak and Louis was the one to listen!
''Can't you fucking go away and stay the hell out of my business for at least one fucking day?'' Louis yelled. He was so sick of being constantly beat up by Zayn, Josh or Harry. They couldn't just push him around like he was some kind of trash. He was for once, going to stand up for himself.
''You fucking coward!'' Louis shrieked as he stood up, ready to fight. He took two steps forward and pushed Zayn down onto the floor.
Zayn's gulped as he landed, wondering where all of this 'confident' on Louis side came from. He put his arms around his body and brought his legs up to his stomach as Louis had done before. Talk about the tables have turned.
''You know what Zayn? I think that you are fucking hiding something from everyone!'' Louis said. He wasn't going to beat up Zayn. He knew better than so. Louis was going to use his mouth this time.
Louis looked at Zayn and realised that he was crying. What? Zayn was crying? What the hell was going on here?
''S-stop!'' Zayn pleaded as his own tears flooded down his face.
This situation was fucked up, big time. One of the most popular guy on school was in a bathroom with one of the most hated guy on school. Both were a crying mess.
''I'm not going to fucking stop, Zayn. You've hurt me so many times and I've had enough. I've had enough. You can't push me down no more. I'm going to fucking stand up for myself because you're just a fucking coward that needs to take away others happiness to have your own happiness. And Zayn, that is so fucking messed up!'' Louis exclaimed as he wept some of his tears with his shirt.
''You won't come anywhere in life if you have to push others down to fucking stay happy!'' Louis screamed as he looked down to see Zayn's facial expression. He didn't expect what he saw. Zayn was a mess, he was pulling his black hair and screaming at himself. His tears were all over the place and he was shaking. His normally brown eyes were bloodshot with so many emotions that Louis couldn't even name one.
''What the hell happened and made you such a horrible person?'' Louis whispered as he too, fell down onto his legs. He felt bad for Zayn now, he didn't mean to hurt Zayn this much. But he had to continue to get some answers.
''Did someone fucking die or?'' He asked as he then laughed after.
''Stop! STOP! Stop, please please please shut up!'' Zayn hiccuped.
Oh, so maybe someone did die in Zayn's life. ''And who may that be? Because honestly, no one can become such a horrible person just by someone's death,'' Louis mocked.
''YES SOMEONE FUCKING DID DIE AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT. LIAM JAMES PAYNE DIED.''
What?
What?
WHAT?
•*•*•
Cliffhanger again hihi!
No one guessed right by the way, as I expected! ;) But I loved seeing all of your guesses and thoughts! Comments are what I keep writing for.
I changed the cover again by the way. Ops.