"Looking for someone," I heard a female voice say. It was Monday morning and I was at my locker, scanning the halls casually. I turned quickly to see Mia standing there with a soft smile on her face. Her blonde hair was in soft curls around her face, her wide blue eyes staring at me curiously. Her smile grew as our eyes met. "Hey," she said happily. She jumped up to peck a kiss at my cheek.
"Hey," I murmured. "How are you?"
"I'm good now. How was your weekend? Did you do anything fun?" Oh god, how did I know she was going to ask that question? I felt my stomach twist into butterflies at the thought of what I'd done the past weekend. The events of Friday night and Saturday flew through my mind. From kissing Jayden to our deep talks to our pillow fight we had since I decided to start talking shit about his music. I wished I could have gotten to see him on Sunday but he had to go to Church and then work afterwards. He did call me when he got off and we talked for an hour or so before I let him go to sleep. Somehow, after hearing his voice, I felt a bit better and I was able to sleep peacefully.
"Not really," I lied. "How was your college trip," I asked. Her eyes widened in excitement.
"Oh my gosh, UCLA is beautiful! I think I'm going to commit there! Literally, I loved it so much!" I smiled.
"That's good, Mia. I'm happy for you."
"Have you figured out which Ivy League school you're going to yet? I mean its November, I'm sure you have your choice picked out already."
"Um, I'm actually not going to an Ivy League. I'm going to Stanford." Mia raised an eyebrow but nodded.
"Why Stanford if you don't mind my asking?"
"I just really like it. Their premed program is great, their campus is great, the school spirit is great and I just feel as if that's the right choice for me."
"I'm happy you made the right choice," Mia said with a big smile.
"Yea," I murmured. Mia tilted her head at me. "Is everything alright, Danny? You seem a bit out of it."
"Yea. I'm fine. I just have a lot on my mind." She put her small hand on my arm and gave me a soft smile.
"You know I'm here if you need to talk about anything." I forced a smiled down at her.
"Thanks." I finished getting my books and such before I shut my locker, grabbed her hand, and began to lead her down the hallway to her locker. Mia babbled on about her visit to UCLA as we walked and I partially listened to her. I caught a few sentences here and there but really I was looking around for Jayden. He told me that he was going to come to school today but I felt myself get a bit worried that he wasn't going to be here. Although I knew that we couldn't be lovey dovey in public, I still wanted to see him. I just wanted to see his beautiful green eyes and that tiny smile of his. I didn't see him until we finally got to Mia's locker. He was across the hall with Bethany who was talking animatedly at her locker. His ice wall was back up, his eyes hard and his mouth tightened into a line. He didn't really seem to be listening to his friend. Instead, his eyes were roaming around aimlessly – or at least they were until they landed on me.
His eyes immediately lit up a bit at the sight of me, his lips started to tug at the ends as his tiny smile threatened to come out. His eyes appreciatively analyzed me before they fell down to my hand that was intertwined with Mia's. As soon as they did, I saw the light in his eyes go out and they hardened. Then, for the first time in forever, he looked me in the eyes and glared at me. His deadly look lasted for a moment before he turned to Bethany, murmured something to her and walked away. He didn't look at me again as he walked in the opposite direction. I felt the high I'd felt when he'd looked at me fade as I watched him go. I suddenly felt guilty and ashamed. I did tell him that I was going to break up with Mia but I just didn't figure out when I was going to do it yet. I guess he figured that I would have done it as soon as possible so that he wouldn't have to share me. I knew that I couldn't blame him if he were angry with me. Instead, I just had to try to hurry up and do what I needed to do.
Sadly, I couldn't find the time to do it that morning. Mia was too happy and I couldn't bear to break her high like that. So, she walked around the entire day holding my hand and acting as if she was the happiest girl on the face of the earth. As she did so, I couldn't help but think of all the way that Jayden was going to kill me. I had tried texting him throughout the course of the day but he didn't reply to any of my pleads of forgiveness and questions asking for more time. I could tell that he was pissed at me and that bothered me way more than I expected it to. I didn't want him to be mad at me. Not after the wonderful weekend that we spent together.
As I walked into my eighth period, I saw Jayden sitting at our table doodling in his notebook. I hurried up to him and sat down next to him. "Hey," I told him.
"What do you want, white boy," he asked without looking at me. I looked down at his drawing to see that he had drawn a big heart that had bandages and stitches on it. I wanted to go on and make a hug story behind the picture as I usually did but I couldn't really put my mind to it at the moment.
"Are you mad at me," I asked lowly. He raised an eyebrow.
"Why would I be mad?"
"You know why." Jayden raised his eyes to briefly look around the room before turning them towards me. "I just can't do it today. She's in such a fantastic mood and I don't want to hurt her right now."
"If you haven't noticed: Mia is always in a good mood unless you piss her off. So, I guess you're never going to break up with her, are you?"
"No, Jayden, I will. I just need some time to think about what I'm supposed to say to her. We've been together for a little while now and I don't want to just abruptly break it off."
"You're such a pussy," Jayden muttered as he rolled his eyes. "Just tell her it's over and be done with it."
"But then I'll sound like an asshole."
"Daniel, I honestly don't care what you sound like when you break up with her. I don't like her in the first place so I could care less if you want to spare her feelings. Just do it so I don't feel like I'm your second option or something."
"Jayden," I said softly. I wanted to reach out and grab his hand or touch his face but we were in public. Damn, this whole keeping him a secret was going to be harder than I thought. "You're not my second option and you know that. Just give me a little bit of time, okay?" Jayden shrugged.
"Sure. Whatever," he muttered.
"Are you working today," I asked in an attempt to keep up conversation. He nodded.
"I'm not working on Thursday or Friday though. I was thinking that maybe you can come over on Thursday and maybe stay over since there's no school on Friday. I was thinking that maybe we could go to my MMA gym and you could meet some of my other friends. That's if you want." I nodded, feeling a bit relieved that he wasn't too upset with me.
"Yea. That sounds great." He shot me a tiny smile before turning towards Mr. Myers as he began his lecture. I listened tentatively and took notes as I always did but this time I couldn't help but to steal shy glances over at Jayden. While he was doing the same thing as I was, I noticed he kept looking at me as well. At one point, our eyes connected and I swore I saw a bit of blush rush up Jayden's cheeks. It was the cutest thing I'd ever seen. The way that his cheeks turned pink, his tiny smile arose and he looked away bashfully. I wished that he would do it again.
"I'll call you later," Jayden whispered before walking away later as we were walking out of the classroom. I wasn't able to reply before I felt Mia's small hand grab mine. I glanced at her for a moment before looking towards Jayden's retreating figure.
"Everything okay," I heard Mia ask. I looked down at her to see her big blue eyes were looking up at me in concern. I sighed but slowly wiggled my hand out of hers.
"Yea. Can we talk...outside?" Mia's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. She nodded and we walked to her locker and then to mine in silence. Although I really didn't want to break Mia's heart that particular day, I knew that I had to. I couldn't keep looking at her and pretending that I liked her. Not when I was experiencing the real thing with Jayden. Besides, I could tell he felt hurt when he saw we were still together. I couldn't have him hurting over something stupid. So, I had to break it off for Mia and move on with my life. That's the best thing that I could do.
"So, what did you want to talk about," Mia said as I led her to the empty quad.
"I wanted to talk about us," I told her. She sat down on one of the wooden benches and I sat down beside her. She tilted her head at me.
"What about us?"
"Look, Mia, I'm going to be blunt with you but just know that I don't mean to hurt you or any of that." Mia started to raise an eyebrow.
"Are you breaking up with me," she asked, her voice taking a hard turn. I sighed, grabbing her hand.
"Mia, you're a great girl. You really are but I'm just...I'm not the right guy for you. You deserve better than me and I know that sounds really cliché and abstract but it's true."
"Don't spit me that bullshit," Mia said as she snatched her hand away from me. Her wide eyes began to glare at me, anger becoming clear in them. "This is about Jayden, isn't it? You like him, don't you?" I shook my head.
"No, no, Mia; Jayden has nothing to do with this."
"Yes he does. Ever since you told me that he kissed you, you've been acting strange. You don't seem like you're into me anymore. Plus you were always trying to spend more time with him than you were with me. It wasn't hard to suspect or figure out. I should've known that stupid son of a bitch was going to take you away from me."
"Mia, please calm down."
"Calm down? Daniel, did you just tell me to calm down? No! No, I'm not going to calm down! I just lost my boyfriend to another guy! Do you know how sad that is?" I opened my mouth to speak but she put a hand up. "Don't try to explain yourself. I get it. I do. You've just now miraculously figured out that you're gay and now you wanna be with Jayden. Trust me, I've been through the charade before."
"What are you talking about? Jayden's only had one boyfriend his entire life: Diego."
"Yea well Diego was mine first too." Mia shook her head. "Look, Daniel, you're a good guy but I'm warning you about Jayden: he will hurt you. If I were you then I would get away while you still can." She then quickly kissed my cheek and got up. "I'm always here if you need anything. Be careful." I tried to stop her from leaving but she flitted out too quickly. Now, I was really confused. What the hell had happened throughout the past four years between Jayden, Mia and Diego?