True to the promise, we all spent the next year or so working as a team and hoping to get somewhere. Claire had hired the best lawyer she could find, which just meant that it was up to us to produce enough evidence for Tim to get convicted. It was a very gradual process, with restless nights that were spent staying up late and just thinking. Not a single person, except possibly Claire, knew what to expect from the trial. The date had just come closer and closer, until it was right at our feet and begging to be acknowledged. I suppose that's what really took up most of the thinking time: how we were going to deal with something that would no longer be in our control.
In the end though, it was just an obstacle in our way, a hurdle if you liked. It was a matter of jumping over it, even if that meant that we skimmed the top of the metal ridge. Nothing was set in stone and very little was predictable. It was a strange game, this guessing and hoping and ignoring, because most of us were ignoring the darker possibilities. And the only way to win would be to bet on the right outcome, though I doubted that any of us would actually win. In fact, I'd describe it as more of a partial win, because we weren't really confident in our thoughts, just hopeful.
I thought of this, as I looped my fingers around the buttons of my coat and took another look around the court room. It wasn't exactly what I had expected. It was simply a regular building with a maze of twisting corridors inside, which led to a series of rooms. The one I was sitting in now - court room number five - was at the far end of the building and much smaller than I had anticipated. A glass witness box was opposite where the defendant would stand, whilst a higher row of panelled seats were located near a room. I assumed they were reserved for the jury and the room for their decision making. Across from that, I sat in the gallery, where there was an aisle split it into two sections. And opposite me was the judge's seat, facing everyone in the room.
I moved uncomfortably in the hard leather seats, with David fidgeting restlessly beside me. Claire had disappeared so Lucas sat on my right. Having two people either side of me made it easier to deal with everything because I was always conscious of their reactions. If I made a stupid mistake, they would notice. If I got scared, Lucas would most definitely make a sarcastic comment. If I ran away, both of them would stop me. Whilst it was slightly comforting, I also felt kind of trapped.
However, that feeling vanished when the members of the media walked in. Most of them wore smart jackets and matching trousers, whilst others had on white blouses and form fitting cardigans. They were the type of people you'd see in the street and just pass by, but if you were to take a closer look, they'd strike you as different. Their eyes flitted from side to side, as perceptive and aware as Claire, whilst their hands itched at their sides. They were desperately waiting to get anything, like a group of hungry parasites feeding off of the broken minds of innocents. I suppose that's what made them so strikingly different; the darker parts of human nature were stronger in them, and it was more than just doing their job. It was a part of their existence.
"Stop staring at them like they're going to eat you," Lucas muttered, beside me. "I mean, I know they do kind of look like hungry ogres waiting to feed off of human flesh and everything, but seriously-"
"Shut up," I said half heartedly. "How can you be so calm about this anyway? I swear you've been sarcastic and annoying and awful-"
"Yeah, okay," he mumbled. "As much as I would absolutely love to hear you insult me all day, I'm trying to concentrate here. I really want to capture the moment that Tim gets done." He took in a deep breath and dug his nails into the leather. Then he breathed out. "I want to see everything, you know? The fear, the panic, the raw terror... just, I want to see him suffer so much for what he's done. I don't even know why he's getting a trial. The officers should have shot him when they had the chance, or maybe I should've just done it myself."
I stared at him in shock. "Don't turn into him," I said, as the judge took his seat and Tim was brought in to the room. "He was full of jealousy, and hatred, and this almost destructive feeling." My voice caught in my throat when Tim looked up, and I hated the fact that I was the first to look away. "I don't want to see you get caught up in all of that. You're better than that. You're better than him."
I looked straight at the judge, aware of both Lucas and David's gaze on me and then towards Tim. Claire walked back through the door and took a seat beside David, who looked as though he was going to combust from nervousness. Even the members of the media were craning their necks and twisting in their seats to get a look at the man who was responsible for the death of three people.
Everything was still for a moment and I could almost hear a beat in my head, demanding to be felt and acknowledged. A rising sense of anticipation, nerves and overall fear became present in my stomach. The sensation travelled from there to my chest and then my throat, where a lump had formed. It was making it harder to breathe and the surroundings were becoming less clear by the second.
Lucas flicked me on the forehead and the temperature in the room cooled, even though it hadn't really risen in the first place. He shot me a questioning look, before motioning to David who was sweating profusely. Then he smirked at Tim, mouthing bye and adding a little wave for emphasis. He stopped when Claire shot him a glare, slumping back into his seat and closing his eyes instead. I wasn't sure but I think he was hoping to just listen, because afterwards the full images would be too much. He could alter everything in his mind if he only had a soundtrack but not if he had a video on replay.
"Not guilty," Tim said clearly, with his words echoing around the room. "I plead not guilty to each of the murders."
People began to whisper and because the voices were all acting at once, the noise became louder and louder. The judge hit the sound block with the gavel and everyone hushed, though it didn't stop a single person from looking around the room. Everyone, really, was waiting for a reaction.
"I think I'm going to be sick," Lucas said, with his eyes wide open now. "How can he even be called human? After he's done so much and-"
"Calm down," Claire hissed, as he came to an abrupt stop. "I know this is difficult. Believe me, I know. But I also know how these things work and if you look weak, the jury will take it as a sign that you think we'll lose this case. You've got to look confident right now, and when the time comes to milk the sympathy out of them, I'll tell you."
"This isn't a game," he whispered back, as the case was introduced. "The law is playing with our lives and it's not fair, no matter how childish that sounds. It's not, like, listening to the evidence and making a decision. It's basing everything off of... of human reactions and I can't-"
He looked as though he was about to bolt, but David reached over me and squished Lucas' hand on to the edge of the seat. "You need to stay right here," he said, tiredly. "I know you think this is unfair and I agree with you, but there's nothing we can do to change that. People are always going to preach about this kind of thing, like you're doing know, but nobody - not a single person - is going to stand up and support it." He took a deep breath, as he tried to collect his next words. "And that's because every individual believes they're the only one supporting the cause. Right now, we can't focus on ethics and morality. We just need to think about this trial and that's it. We can't deal with anything else right now so please just calm down."
Lucas snatched his hand away and swore under his breath. Still, he didn't try to get up again or utter another word. He just sat, quietly seething, in his uncomfortable chair. Occasionally, his eyes would flicker up to the jurors, almost as though he was silently pleading with them.
He seemed to do that every day for the next four or so weeks, ever so casually letting a few tears slide down his face when Claire pinched him. I knew that it was more anger than pain that caused the tears. And I supposed, deep down, that he found it embarrassing to cry in front of complete strangers, which made him even angrier.
Of course, that anger came to a rest on the day of the verdict.
"I've never hated someone so much," I whispered to Claire, as she stroked my hair outside the court room. "You know, this trial has been really awful. Just knowing that he killed so many people and that Lucas won't even see Laney's body again-" I took a sharp breath. "I mean, Tim burnt her body even after he'd tortured her so much already. How can anybody be so awful and inhumane?"
She let a few tears slide down her face. "It's okay, sweetheart," she said quietly. "It's going to be over soon, I promise. And he won't be the only one that's punished. Doctor Barnes and everyone else involved in this entire thing, like that stupid solicitor that sorted out all the paperwork to the property will be punished too. Everyone's going to get what they deserve today."
I nodded and followed her inside, with her heels making their familiar sound. There were more people in the gallery than there usually were, though that didn't really surprise me. Everyone had been anticipating the verdict for over three days, since the case itself had closed then. It wasn't just the media, but old colleagues, Laney's school friends and just the general public that had turned up. Everything had become chaos and I wished - more than anything - that the jury would just come to a decision already.
Lucas was already sitting down with David when we got in and he looked more nervous than usual. I suppose it was because the joint funeral for his dad, his mum and his sister was taking place just the week after. It was meant to have taken place ages ago and it was true that both of his parents had been buried already, and that Laney hadn't had the chance to have been. It was more of a gathering for acknowledgment and final words than anything else. I was sure that it would have been postponed again but the verdict was taking forever to be delivered, and people were losing their patience in waiting.
I took a seat beside him and Claire took the one next to me. People stared and whispered, not stopping even when David glared right back. This was what it had been like for the past three days. People had been waiting with bated breath for the verdict, either focusing their attention on the jury's room or us. I was sure that they would've searched Tim for answers too, but he was being kept in a cell underneath the court room.
"This is moving too fast," Lucas whispered to me. "I mean, what if they deliver it today? How can we even go to the... gathering if it all happens right now, in this very moment?"
I stared back at him, unblinking. "It's not about us," I said quietly. "It's about Laney and your parents, and sometimes we have to forget what we want for the people we care about."
He looked as though he was about to reply, with his mouth opening just a fraction and his hands were moving for emphasis. Somehow, his voice caught in his throat and he took a sharp intake of breath instead, because the jurors had left their room. Lucas looked green, as though he was about to be sick, and gripped both sides of his chair. When that didn't work, he took my hand and then David's even though his eyes remained on the jurors.
Everyone held their breath for a few seconds, as the foreperson for the jurors stood up. She swiftly whispered the decision to a man standing close to them, who passed it on to the judge. The judge then sat upright and looked over at Tim, who had been brought back up for the verdict. There was not a single way in which I could tell what the decision could be; both the jurors and the judge looked completely emotionless and still. No one was going to give it away.
"Mr Carter, please rise," the judge said clearly.
Tim shakily stood up, turning his head from the gallery to the jurors and back again. In that moment, he looked completely human and afraid. His jaw was shaking slightly, so I presumed his teeth were chattering. Seconds later, a few tears slipped out of his eyes and slid down his face, which led to him swearing loudly. Someone scolded him and he stilled, almost robotically.
When the word guilty hit the room, he fell to his knees and began to sob uncontrollably. From all around me, I could hear the people in the gallery cheering and members of the prosecution making snide comments. Claire remained impassive and David was completely still, whilst Lucas was in the middle of an awkward hug with both Claire and I. He too was crying and shaking, as everyone continued to cheer.
The judge banged his gavel and continued when the noise had reduced. "Laney Carter was a joy to her parents, her brother - who is in the gallery today - and to her friends," he said. "She was a lovely, ambitious young girl who had an incredible amount to offer the world, as did her father and her mother. You snatched away all of those possibilities and showed no remorse for your actions. You repeatedly let the same demons that led you to kill your very own brother resurface for your own selfish needs. You have caused unhappiness and depression amongst those who cared for the Carters, and I hope that they will take from this verdict today a conclusion to their pain and suffering."
The reporters greedily wrote everything down on to their tablets, before stepping out of the room. I was sure that they were going out to send off the information to their managers. There was no doubt in my mind that the verdict, and the judge's words, would be online within the next hour. The papers would probably publish it within the week as well.
"Calm down, sweetheart," Claire soothed a crying Lucas. "It's all over now. It's all over. He's gone forever and he won't come back. You won't see him again, I promise. It's all over."
"The judge was nice," David said, uselessly.
The laughter and cheering could still be heard around the room, and it hurt my ears. It was too much and I wondered how these people could be so open about their joy. I hated Tim as much as the next person, but Claire had told me beforehand to possess a quiet dignity. Their loudness came as a shock to me.
"Don't be so sure about that, David," Claire muttered. "The law is only here to convince the public that the government is doing something, anything. In this case, Tim really was guilty and the judge said what he said so the press would report it back to the public and the prosecution would be praised." She shook her head when he opened his mouth to protest. "I've seen cases like this, where innocent people have been made guilty, and the judges have done exactly what this one did today. The crimes Tim committed don't matter to them." She continued angrily. "It's the fact that they won again, and they can say they've put away another dangerous person. It's a matter of gaining power through trust. It's nothing more and it's nothing else." She took another breath. "Please don't blindly believe them."
"But you're a lawyer too," he muttered, like a little child. "Does that mean we shouldn't trust you either?"
"You know that saying, lawyers are liars?" she questioned. "Sometimes there's truth in those things. I'll lie if I have to. The only difference here is that I kind of have a conscious, because I'm surrounded by almost stupidly emotional people. Sorry Lucas. Anyway, it's kind of hard to avoid being what I suppose you could call a good person with you lot around."
"You make it sound like being a good person is a bad thing," David said.
She didn't reply, only motioning for us to get out before the press went crazy and the prosecution tried to get a few words in. I felt David's elbow pushing into my back and Lucas' hand holding on to my own. Claire was gripping my shoulders and we were all pushing, trying to get through the door and outside fast enough.
When we finally did, it was a race to the car. Cameras were flashing like crazy and microphones were being shoved into our faces, whilst voices were shouting out questions. Claire swore loudly but smiled when it began to pour with rain and a clap of thunder sounded. I realised that she was happy because we were losing them.
"I really need to go to the gym," she said, getting into the driver's seat. "That was quite a run."