CHAPTER 2: REALIZATION
They gave her the name Aurora Alana Phillips. I liked the fact that it meant first light. She was the first light in my new world. She was the only thing I was able to focus on in my new life, at first. The name suited her.
Mrs. Phillips and her husband admired their new daughter for a long while. I couldn’t help but watch her too. She was so mesmerizing. I knew I was sharing what was supposed to be a private moment between parents and their new child, but I felt like I was meant to be a part of it. I couldn’t leave her. She was all I had. I felt connected to her in some way.
A nurse came in, “I’m going to have to take her now. You should rest.”
Her parents reluctantly let her go. I couldn’t. I felt compelled to follow Aurora. The nurse took her to the nursery, a few other babies were there, and put her in a bassinet. Then she left. I was finally alone with Aurora. So, I slowly moved over to the bassinet and took my first good look at her. Some of the babies were crying, but she wasn’t. She looked peaceful, not a care in the world, content. I stood there for a long time, just watching her. I don’t know what it was about her, but she really fascinated me.
Aurora was a cute baby. Still, I don’t think that’s the reason I was so bewitched by her. I felt a connection between us that I couldn’t explain and if anything, that was the source of my fascination.
I snapped out of my reverie when I noticed the group of people outside the glass windows of the nursery watching us. Aurora’s father and what must have been her grandparents were standing outside the nursery. They were staring at Aurora and pointing, smiling, and making baby faces. They were so happy to see her.
After a minute or two of watching them look at the baby, it hit me. I realized they couldn’t see me. I really realized it – what that meant. It was surreal. I couldn’t believe it.
That was the moment I snapped out of the dream state I had been in since I died. The serenity and calm that I had been feeling disappeared and panic quickly replaced it. I waved my arms and nobody looked up at me. The people at the nursery window were only looking at the babies. It was like I didn’t exist.
“Hey!” I yelled. “Can you see me? Hey! What’s wrong with you? Look at me!”
Nobody flinched, much less paid me any attention. They couldn’t see me. They couldn’t hear me. It was like I wasn’t even there.
It was hard for me to accept, at first. The concept itself was unreal to me, but I knew. It just took a while to hit me. I was a ghost. I was dead. I could remember my death.
I wanted to deny the thought immediately, although innately I had already known that it was true. For the most part, I felt alive, real. I could still think. I could still feel and see my own body. My body wasn’t transparent, at least not to me.
Then I decided to try something. I decided to touch Aurora. I slowly lowered my hand to her head. I was just going to touch her forehead – feel my hand on her skin. I hesitated right above her head and then I let my hand sink down toward her skin. As I looked down, horrified, I saw my hand go through her skull and into the bassinet. I jerked my hand away. I stared at it for what seemed like forever, my mind racing.
But I can’t be, I thought. How can I be dead? What happened to me? How did I die? My mind raced. I couldn’t remember anything before that moment in the hospital room where the doctors had surrounded me. Why couldn’t I remember my life? Why couldn’t I remember anything about it? I tried. I really tried. There were almost vague memories, but then there was nothing. I couldn’t find the memories of my life. I knew I had lived. I had died, after all. Why couldn’t I remember my life? Why was I fated to have this happen? Why me?
I had a bit of a breakdown, I’ll admit. I sat on the ground in front of Aurora’s bassinet for a long time struggling with the concept of my death and my new existence.
In the end I was forced to admit I was a ghost and then the questions began again. Why? What was I supposed to do? Haunt somebody? I mean, how could I scare somebody if I couldn’t even touch anything? Aren’t you supposed to rattle chains or something? I didn’t even want to scare anyone. Plus, nobody could see me. How scary is an invisible ghost who can’t touch anything? Maybe I was supposed to help somebody. I looked down at Aurora. Was I supposed to help her? Be her guardian angel or something? But I wasn’t an angel, as far as I knew. Maybe there was no such thing. And, how could I help her? There was nobody here to guide me in this life. Shouldn’t a guardian angel know what he was doing before he was sent to watch over someone? I was utterly confused. My mind kept twisting and turning. I stood there, next to Aurora’s bassinet, for a long time puzzling over my predicament. There were no answers to be found, but the questions kept repeating themselves in my brain anyway. It all boiled down to the same question - What was I supposed to do in this new life? I didn’t know.
Then my puzzlement took another course. I began to wonder if there was anybody else like me. If I could talk to them. Was I all alone? Could anyone see me? I was scared. I didn’t know the rules. Could I leave the hospital? I looked down at Aurora again. Could I leave her? A strange fear gripped me. I didn’t want to.
Could I get back to that peaceful place beyond the wall? Was that heaven? Why had I left it if it was heaven? What was I doing here? I didn’t know! There was nobody there who could answer my questions. I yelled at the top of my lungs. Nobody raised an eyebrow. It was going to be lonely if no one could hear me.
I tried again to remember things that had happened while I was alive, before my death. Maybe my previous life would give me a clue as to what I was supposed to do. As much as I tried, I still couldn’t remember anything about it. Absolutely nothing. Had I been a horrible person to forget everyone in my life so easily in death? I felt guilty. My parents, my friends, girlfriends, family, my whole past life seemed to have faded from my mind. How could I have forgotten the people that had been important in my life? This was really upsetting. I knew I had been alive and had died, but I couldn’t remember anything. Nothing. There was only a lingering feeling that maybe if I thought hard enough, I might remember some small detail about being alive. I wanted to know for sure that I had existed. I wanted to remember. Yet, it was as if in the moment I died, I was reborn into this new life as a ghost. Like a baby, like Aurora, I had no memories of my last life.
I looked down at Aurora. She was already sleeping soundly. She had accepted her new world. I was having a hard time accepting mine.
It was almost two in the morning when I decided to leave Aurora sleeping in the nursery and explore the hospital. I didn’t want to leave her, but I knew I had to in order to discover more about my situation. After all, what better place than a hospital to discover something about life and death?
I walked through the halls. They were mostly empty, except for a few nurses quietly doing their rounds. The patients were asleep. I left the maternity ward. What I was looking for, I wouldn’t find there. I wanted to see the morgue.
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Thus ends the preview of CONNECTED by Milda Harris. "Connected" is a YA paranormal romance novel also available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Itunes, and other places ebooks are sold.
And DON'T MISS: "The New Girl Who Found A Dead Body" and "Adventures in Funeral Crashing (Book#1)) available now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Itunes, and other places ebooks are sold.
----------SNEAK PEAKS OF MY OTHER FULL LENGTH BOOKS---------
"Adventures in Funeral Crashing": Sixteen year old Kait Lenox has a reputation as the weird girl in her high school and maybe it has a little to do with the fact that Kait has a hobby crashing funerals. At one of these, Kait is outted by the most popular guy in school, Ethan Ripley. Yet, instead of humiliating her, Ethan asks for her help, and Kait finds herself in full on crush, as well as entangled in a murder mystery.
"The New Girl Who Found A Dead Body": Chloe is excited about spending her senior year of high school in California with her friend Jake's family. Even the usual dread of being the new girl can't bring her down. That is, until she stumbles across the dead body of the most popular girl in school, Lora Kelly. Now she's receiving threatening notes...will she be next? Suddenly, Chloe's dream life, has turned into a nightmare!
"Connected (A Paranormal Romance)": Drew's only memory of his life is the moment of his death. Leaving his life and memories behind, Drew thinks that he is on his way to heaven as he follows the pull of fate. Instead, he finds himself witnessing the birth of a baby girl, Aurora. He immediately feels a strong connection to her. Thus, Drew becomes an invisible observer of her world as a ghost and Aurora becomes haunted by him.