You sit at the picnic table with your friends enjoying the sunny, summer afternoon. The last one you will all get to spend together in a long time. One of your best friends Bucky is leaving for army training tomorrow.
It's no secret that you have a crush on him. Whether he returns the feelings or not, you have no clue. There are times when you feel like it is just you two in the world or when he seems to be particularly gracious specifically to you and you think maybe he does like you back. But then he goes and does similar things for everyone else too and you slap yourself realising that it's just his nature to be a kind person to everyone he meets.
You sit across from him and your other best friend Steve. The three of you just want to spend this afternoon together reminiscing, having fun and making the most of the little time you have left together.
"Saw that Billy guy eyeing you up the other night aye (Y/N/N)? You talked to him recently?" Steve asks you, leaning across the table to give your elbow a nudge.
"Oh please. If I ever get a boyfriend." You roll your eyes.
"Doll, any guy would be lucky to get a girl like you." Bucky sighs.
"Yeah, any guy like you aye Buck?" Steve smirks and nudges him too.
Bucky shoves him back, his cheeks turning a little pink.
"I know I would be. I'd be the luckiest man alive to be with (Y/N) or to get a girl that even comes close to her." He states confidently but diverts his gaze from yours.
Your cheeks flush rapidly and there is no way you can help the grin that spreads across your lips. As cliche as it sounds, a warm fuzzy feeling takes over your body.
"Aw." Is all you manage to mumble out.
But pretty much as soon as the line is said Bucky moves on and is already neck deep in a new conversation about the stars and different constellations that he will be able to see at Camp Lehigh.
"So I looked into them and I'll be able to see Orien's Belt from a completely different angle!" He exclaims as if his previous comment meant nothing but nonsense to him.
Your heart sinks at this thought but at the same time it still flutters, hanging onto those words and treasuring them.
The three of you spend the rest of the night running around town going here there and everywhere. It's a bit of a blur. You end up in multiple pubs and come out drunker each time. But no matter how fuzzy your mind becomes you still can't shake that statement of Bucky's from your memory.
Did you mean what you said?
The question is on the tip of your tongue but there is just never quite the right moment to ask him or you keep getting interrupted.
You sing, you dance, you laugh, you meet up with other people you know well or faintly, you head down the street to the next bar.
Suddenly, before you know it the night has come to an end. Bucky and Steve walk you home. You hug each of them, lingering on Bucky's touch. A tear escapes each of your guys eyes as you say your goodbyes. He gives you a light kiss on your cheek with a hand on your waist as you whisper you'll see him again soon. He wipes the tear from your cheek and gives you a sad smile before turning to leave.
And the minute you close the door you realise that you forgot to ask.
Did you mean what you said?
----
That question has been haunting your mind since the minute it came into your head. Your biggest regret is never asking him.
Did you mean what you said?
But now after a whole year of waiting and wondering you finally have another chance to. And heck, you're gonna do it.
Bucky comes home today. He's on leave from training for the next week.
You sit waiting in your lounge literally staring at the wall to pass the time until finally there comes the long awaited knock on your door.
You fling it open to see your small friend Steve standing next to a very impressive, much more built looking Bucky in his smart army uniform.
"Bucky!" You squeal and leap into his arms.
"Hey doll!" He chuckles chipper, picking you up effortlessly and spinning you round.
He squeezes you tight against his chest and nuzzles his face in your hair. You breath in his sweet scent as you bury your face in the crook of his neck and wrap your arms around his neck.
"I missed you so much (Y/N)." He mumbles.
"I missed you too Buck." You whisper.
"I bet not as much though." He smirks.
You can't help but pull back and grin mischievously at him while rolling your eyes.
"So how've you been soldier?" You ask sighing and rubbing your hands up and down his arms.
"Ah, that's sergeant to you now thank you very much." He says cockily as he struts inside, adjusting his tie with Steve trailing behind him.
"Oh wow! I'm very impressed." You say, raising your eyebrows.
"Thanks." He smiles more softly. "And I've been good. It's hard work and I'm tired no doubt but I'm good. How bout yourself huh doll?"
"Bored." You say flatly. "Without you around everything in Brooklyn just seems so dull. No offence Steve." You say turning to him.
"None taken. I agree. I know not many people can brighten up a place like this but Bucky somehow manages too." He shrugs.
Without even organising to do so you three find yourselves sitting down on the cold wooden floor of your house in a triangle, knees touching and all facing each other just like you used to when you were ten.
"Geez, look at us. We're in our twenties and we look like little children." Bucky chuckles as if reading your thoughts.
"I was just thinking the same thing!" You exclaim with a laugh.
You sit there listening to Bucky tell stories from his time training over the last year and you and Steve tell him your own stories from this year too. It's so good to see Bucky and your all so caught up in his story about this one time one of the guys in his squadron downed a whole yard glass in one go that you don't realise what time it is.
"Oh shoot! I'm real sorry guys, I've got to get going. I've got a doctors appointment. I'll be back in about an hour." Steve gasps as he gets up and runs out the door.
"Bye Steve!" You call but don't get any reply because he's already gone.
"Geez, he was in a rush. Don't think I've seen him move that fast ever." Bucky laughs in astonishment.
"No way." You giggle and shake your head.
"How's he been?" Bucky suddenly asks far more seriously.
"He didn't tell you?" You frown.
"You know what he's like." Bucky shakes his head.
"Well he seemed to be pretty damn good for a few months there, just a few minor asthma attacks here and there and I stupidly thought that maybe things were starting to look up for him. But then in the last six months he's had three chest colds, one flu and two bouts of pnuemonia. One of them nearly got him." You sigh.
Bucky screws his face up as if he is in pain and let's out a groan as he runs a hand down the length of his face. You know it saddens him when Steve is sick.
"And he still wants to enlist too." You mumble.
"Ugh he can't! There's no way he can cope with the kind of stuff they put us through! Trust me, it's even worse than I expected. It's tough. It could kill him. He's not strong enough to do that let alone be actually fighting." He huffs.
"Buck." You sigh as you shuffle around so that you're lying on your stomach beside him, propped up on your elbows. "I know it's tough for you to watch him suffer like this and try and try just to be turned away again. But trust me I've tried to talk him out of it but he wont budge."
"He's a stubborn little asshole isn't he?" Bucky grunts as he flops down onto his back beside you so that he's looking up at you.
"Heck yes." You giggle. "Don't worry though, I doubt they'll ever accept him with that list of conditions. They'd be stupid to."
"You're right. Hopefully one day he will just get sick of being turned away and then just give up. At least that'll ease my conscience a little bit." Bucky rants.
With nothing else to say the two of you lay there just staring at each other silently for a few moments. It's not really awkward though. To be honest you're just too busy getting lost in Bucky's beautiful blue eyes. You nearly forgot how striking they are.
Now would be the perfect time to ask him. You know it would be. Just the two of you here together with no distractions.
"Bucky, I've been meaning to-" You open your mouth to say bit he speaks at exactly the same time.
"You know, I-" He starts.
Both of you cut off and laugh lightly. You bite your lip and look down blushing.
"You go first." He murmurs.
"No, you go." You breath, chickening out.
He takes a deep breath to gather himself before speaking.
That's not like Bucky. Normally he's so confident.
You look up at him expectantly waiting to hear his words.
"What I was gonna say was that I um, you know I meant what I said that day before I left. About me being the luckiest man alive if I ever get a girl like you." He smiles shyly.
Your face lights up.
"Really?" You gasp.
"Mhm." He nods and reaches up to stroke a piece of hair that dangles in your face behind your ear. "Now your turn. What did you have to say?"
"Well I had a question but you just answered it." You grin.
"Really?" He says in surprise.
"Mhm." You repeat cheekily.
"Well then, didn't that work out perfectly?" He smirks, his voice low and quiet, hand still resting on your cheek gently.
You nod in agreement, biting your lip and blushing once again, looking down. He chuckles and carefully trails his hand down to your chin and tilts it so that your looking at him and then suddenly he leans up and kisses you.
After a few seconds of shock you kiss him back. It's a deep, passionate kiss. Tentative at first but growing in intensity as you both become more sure, eventually lasting until both of you need to come up for air.
Somewhere in the mix of it you end up lying on top of him and when you finally pull away he stares up at you in complete awe. You smile down at him, lifting yourself off of him just slightly.
"It was my biggest regret not telling you that before I left." He says in a husky voice, his lips plump and pink from the kiss.
"It was my biggest regret not asking." You sigh breathless.
"I thought about it that whole year wishing I had just said something to let you know." He continues.
You hide your face in the crook of his neck and wrap your arms around his neck.
"Buck that's so sweet." You mumble into his shirt slightly embarrassed.
"You're beautiful you know that?" He whispers in your ear and strokes your hair delicately.
"Stop it!" You wine. "You know I hate being complimented."
"But you need to know it!" He chuckles and kisses your temple lightly. "You deserve to know it doll." He adds as he snakes his arms around your waist and adjusts the two of you so that you are side by side, your head resting on his outstretched arm and his free one draped lazily over your waist, both of you staring up at each other dreamily.
Not much else happens the rest of that day but let's just say Steve is very confused when he comes back and finds you two making out on the floor.
"What?" Bucky shrugs, sitting up looking like a mess, his hair tangled wildly on top of his head. "Gotta make up for lost time right?"