4 years old
A small cry left your lips as your arm scraped against the concrete gutter as you fell.
"Ow!" You exclaimed and pouted, clutching at your elbow.
You sat there feeling sorry for yourself until suddenly a small boy with bright blue eyes and a toothy smile came running over to you.
"Are you okay?" He asked, crouching down in front of you.
"I hurt my elbow playing hopscotch." You mumbled as a tear trailed down your cheek.
"Here, let me help you." He said as he took your arm in his hand and examined the little cut.
It was hardly bleeding but he took great care in looking after it.
"Hey don't cry!" He begged you suddenly when he saw your face.
Carefully, he wiped away the tear from your cheek with his thumb before suddenly gently kissing your elbow where it hurt.
"There, all better?" He grinned up at you hopefully.
You nodded at him, a smile spreading across your face.
"I'm Bucky." He beamed. "Can we be friends?"
6 years old
"Hey (Y/N) wait up!" You heard a familiar voice call from behind you.
"You can't catch me Bucky!" You shouted back in amusement.
Literally, in the two years you had known him, running seemed to be the only thing that you were better at than him and of course you teased him about it.
"No seriously (Y/N), wait! I've got something to tell you." He yelled.
You turned around, crossing your arms and tapping your foot impatiently. Finally he got to you, leaning against your shoulder to catch his breath.
"You see that guy over there?" He gasped, pointing at the little blond boy sitting at the edge of the field.
"Yeah isn't that Steve Rogers?" You asked.
"Yeah and he's got no one to hang out with so I was wondering if he could hang out with us?" He explained.
"Sure, he seems nice." You shrugged before following him back over to the small boy.
7 years old
You didn't want to admit it, but Steve and Bucky had gotten a lot closer than you intended. You loved Steve, he was one of your best friends now, but the fact that he had stolen your best friend Bucky away from you didn't sit well with you either. It was weird sharing him and you missed having him all to yourself in a way.
"Come on guys! Come play on the playground with me!" You shouted to the two boys who were sitting on the park bench.
"No thanks (Y/N), I think I'll just stay here with Steve. It's not really fair that he can't go on it." Bucky looked up at you sheepishly where you hung from the monkey bars.
Your heart sank a little but you brushed it off and carried on swinging.
13 years old
"Which one do you guys want to see?" Bucky asked, draping a hand around each of your and Steve's shoulders.
For some reason this motion set butterflies off in your stomach.
"Whatever." Steve shrugged.
"Okay, well then it's all up to you (Y/N), no pressure." Bucky winked at you with a cheeky smirk.
Suddenly you felt a blush creeping up your cheeks.
"Umm." You mused as you looked at the different options in the theatre, biting your lip in thought. "What about that one?" You suggested pointing to the poster.
"Oh man! Any one but that one." Bucky groaned and threw his head back.
"Oh! Sorry! We don't have to see that one!" You gasped.
"(Y/N/N), I'm just kidding. It looks awesome." He grinned before taking your hand and leading both you and Steve over to the ticket booth.
This once again made your heart flutter.
The truth was, that lately you had developed a crush on Bucky. He was little bit older. A little bit taller. And he was turning into a very good looking, very charming young man.
Of course you were falling for that smirk of his, just like every other girl in your school.
16 years old
"(Y/N), can I talk to you for a minute?" You hear a deep voice from behind you.
"Bucky what do you want?" You snap, wiping the tears away from your eyes and not turning to face him.
"Doll, look at me please." He sighs.
"Stop calling me that!" You sniffle.
It only made you get your hopes up more when he used words like that.
"Please." He says right by your ear now and lays a hand on your arm. "Just talk to me (Y/N)."
Finally you turn around to look at him, your bottom lip quivering. He brings his thumb up to brush over it gently.
"What's wrong? You ran off so fast that I didn't even get a chance to see what happened." He murmurs quietly.
"Nothing happened Bucky." You shake your head. "That's the problem."
"What?" He frowns. "Clearly something happened for you to get all worked up like this."
"I like you Bucky." You whisper.
"I like you too (Y/N)." He replies.
"No Bucky, not like that." You whimper.
"Yes doll, just like that." He chuckles and brushes some hair out of your eyes. "I know what you mean."
Your face lights up and you look at him hopefully but then you steel yourself.
"Then why do you keep running off with all those other girls from my year?" You state.
"In hopes of getting your attention." He sighs. "I never thought a girl like you would be into a guy like me."
"Oh trust me Buck, you got my attention loud and clear." You smirk.
"Then whaddaya say we give this thing a try?" He grins and takes your hand in his.
17 years old
It wasn't planned to happen. Spur of the moment. The two of you were both a little tipsy after a few glasses of whiskey and then one thing led to another and then it just happened.
Not that you regretted any of it. Not one bit.
It was clumsy and despite Bucky's big talk that he'd done it before it seemed very inexperienced. A lot of experimenting. A lot of shuffling around. But it wasn't awkward. It was enjoyable and actually quite hilarious at the time.
Now, as the early morning light crept through the thin curtains of Bucky's small bedroom, you nuzzeld your face into the crook of his neck. It was nice and warm, just the two of you snuggled up in his cot with nothing but the bedsheets covering you.
He stirred a little and rolled over, draping a hand over your naked waist before sighing in his sleep as you cuddled deeper into his chest.
You didn't know what the time was but you didn't care. Work could wait. School could wait. You'd tell your parents that you ended up at your friend Marge's place last night. All that mattered right now was that you were here with your Bucky.
18 years old
"Bucky, how could you?" You cry, tears spilling from your eyes and wetting your cheeks.
"I'm so so sorry doll. I know I messed up. I shouldn't've done it. I shouldn't've got with her." Bucky cries too with watery eyes.
"Then why? Why did you do it?" You sobbed, anger building up.
"I don't know. It just happened. One minute I was in the corridor, the next she had me in a bathroom stall." He sighed desperately.
"And Jenny?" You yell. "You could've got with any other girl in the whole school but no, it had to be my best friend huh? And you could've had the decency to wait, not make it so obvious and embarrass me in front of the whole school!"
"It wasn't all my fault! She was the one who grabbed me! I wasn't even interested in the girl before!" He shouts back.
"What so now you are?" You snap.
"I didn't say that." He huffs.
"You know what. Get out Bucky. We are done." You cry.
He shakes his head, tear stained cheeks just like yours now as he starts to walk away still watching you.
"At least I had the decency to tell you." He mumbles.
"No you didn't Bucky! I found out from a girl I hardly know walking past me in the street on the way home!" You scream.
"I didn't exactly have a chance to see you before that did I?" He shouted back.
"Well nothing was stopping you from coming straight to my house or meeting me by my locker!" You yell.
"You know what? Forget it! I'm done!" He growls and walks put of your apartment, slamming the door behind him.
22 years old
There was that all too familiar knock on your door again in the middle of the night.
It started when you were 19. You hadn't spoken to him or hardly seen him since the break up.
But you let him in because he looked like a mess.
"Bucky? What's wrong?" You gasped as he stumbled through the door.
"I'm sorry doll. I'm so sorry." He blubbered as he hugged you tightly.
"Let go of me! What do you mean?" You whispered.
"You know I regret that day so much? I think about you all the time." He cried.
"Bucky your drunk. Go home." You say sternly.
"No (Y/N) please, I promise I'm not. Let me explain. I still love you. I haven't stopped. Please just give me another chance." He sobbed.
Your heart broke at the sight of him. He had been your best friend for so long and then one mistake went and ruined that. Friends or lovers, you wanted him back in your life somehow. And you had thick skin.
"I'm sorry Bucky. You know I can't do that." You said hoarsely. "But we can be friends again, because I do miss seeing your face everyday."
His eyes lit up and he hugged you even tighter.
"Yes yes! Thank you so much (Y/N)! I love you!" He rambled on drunkenly.
Despite his denial you could strongly smell the alcohol on his breath.
"Ah! Just as friends though right?" You teased as light hearted as possible.
He nodded eagerly causing you to smile.
"Come inside Bucky let's get you cleaned up." You sighed and dragged him into the lounge.
He sat on the couch obediently as you went to the kitchen.
"So what made you decide to suddenly come tonight? After a whole year?" You asked.
"Jenny broke up with me." He mumbled.
You rolled your eyes and your heart sank. To be honest you didn't even know they had been going out.
So that how it always went.
Bucky would come knocking on your door or window at all hours of the night. Distraught after another break up and begging for your forgiveness. It would start as just the two of you lying on the couch together after you had sobered him up somewhat. But it would escalate from there.
Sometimes it would be nothing more than sitting there telling stories of fond memories. Sometimes it would be kissing and cuddling in your bed. Other times it would lead to even more...
And the thing is, you let him. You let him do that to you. Come and get your hopes up just to break them down all over again the next morning when he couldn't remember the night before. Because the truth is, you still loved Bucky Barnes with all your heart.