Worst Comebacks In History

By AirForceThree

5.7K 127 40

The misadventures of three intelligent teenagers who are almost always bored. In their Spanish lessons, anywa... More

Worst Comebacks In History
Of Weather Girls And Excellences
J2O: Now In Marmite Flavour!
Epileptic Fits Mean You Can't Watch Violent Movies
Only Talented Hispanists Can Sing Genie In A Bottle In Spanish
Rosaline & Juliet: The Unspoken Shakespeare Love Story
Jane Austen and World Domination Go Hand In Hand
Everyone Knows Hannah Montana Had Red Hair
Hélas, There Is No Mercutio In Twelfth Night
Songs of Elegant Long Streets With Trees
Of Musical Cows

Of Filing Cabinets

278 7 5
By AirForceThree

Capítulo Cinco: Of Filing Cabinets

Addition To Dramatis Personae

C: Close friend of M, J and P. Author and bibliophile Earlier during the day of this conversation, C attacked P, who was assaulting  J, unintentionally (or perhaps not) 'breaking' P's finger in the process.

***

 In Spanish classroom. This is the infamous Christmas carols lesson *shivers*. Again.

P: Look at my impression of Voldemort. jerks head about uncontrollably while trying to look like the psychotic freak The Dark Lord is

M: to P Go die. To J, referring to the Señora Her first name's Brownen. Brownen. WTF?!

J: Good for you, honey. Or her. Or whatever.

P: LISTEN TO ME...ELVES!

M: to P Fuck off. to J I'd feel sorry for her if I didn't want her to die. Because I hate her. Die. Die. 

P: My finger hurts...ow... referring to an incident that happened earlier, which involved P, C and P's finger C broke it...

M: My head hurts. From you.

J: to P And C was only defending me from your assault.

M: evidently not paying attention to the conversation, begins to laugh uncontrollably

P: I'm confused. looks around What's funny? turning hysterical WHERE am I?! WHO am I?!

M: in between laughs, referring once again to the Señora When she talks...she sounds like...she's having...a...orgasm...and then Eleanor...said that...if I poked...her...in...the butt...with...my...fountain pen...her butt would....deflate... continues laughing hysterically

Señora: explaining for the tenth time how to write a letter to a Spanish penpal ...and then sign a name at the end!

J: My name?

Señora: A name.

M: I'm Oliver!

J: I'm Darth Vader.

P: reaches over J to hit M/Oliver but fails and hits her elbow in the filing cabinet behind her Ow! My elbow and my finger! OW!

J/Darth Vader: Bravo, mi amiga.

M/Oliver: once again not paying the slightest bit of attention to her two best friends I'm Harry Oliver Voldemort! Old Voldie was my grandpa! Old Voldie was my grandie! Old Voldie was my grandie!

J/Darth Vader: I am so following.

A few minutes later. M is distracted and seemingly traumatised by Señora's butt suddenly hovering over her desk while she is bending to write on the whiteboard

M/Oliver: Help.

J/Darth Vader: M. Snap out of it. Deep breaths. M!

M/Oliver: Help.

END

J/Darth Vader: Oliver? Oliver? beginning to sing Oliver, Oliver, never before has a boy asked for more, Oliver, Oliver, won't ask for more when he knows what's in store...continues singing

M/Oliver: Help.

P: My finger...

M/Oliver: Help.

terminó

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