Recap
"Look I'm sorry for being such a bitch but I have nothing to say to you, as you've noticed we're not the same as we were three years ago."
I turn to walk away but I'm stopped by Conner grabbing my wrist and spinning me around to face him. The thing that stunned me most was.....
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The anger he seemed to have toured me, not only did he look pissed but I could clearly see the hurt in his eyes. It was as if I had gone and killed his most loved thing in the world or more precisely as if I had torn his heart out without a care in the world. How is it that I'm the one who always feels guilty when I'm the one being torn through the middle?
"Plz let me go Conner."
I know he could clearly hear the double meaning to my words, and I could clearly see how much I had hurt him but the thing he didn't understand is that he had hurt me worse when I woke up to see him sucking face with that slut Sofia.
"Iz..."
"No Conner, just let me go"
With that I left him standing there. I didn't, couldn't let him convince me of staying, because I know if I did I would only end up with a broken heart and I've had enough of waiting for that huge whole that was now in the place of my heart to disappear.
As I get in my car I hear someone coming up behind me, so I turn to see who it was although I was sure it was Tamy.
"Are you okay sweetie?" as she get's closer she embraces me in one of her loving and warm hugs. I couldn't hold back and the tears that I had been holding in came out without my permission.
"No I'm not. I just...I'm so...uggggg" at my babbling Tamy smiles which in turn makes me role my eyes at her.
"Don't worry about it if it's meant to be hone it will be. Just let things cool off for a bit."
"You obviously don't know what happened at the park with Justin do you"
She gave me a weird look. Well here go's nothing.
"What do you mean? What happened?"
"well you see, I was mad, I would have gone to you or Alex but I didn't want to ruin your happy bubble and so I just went off, driving around aimlessly so I somehow ended up at that one park you and I found, I don't know how he did it but he found me and I wasn't feeling all that well seeing as I was pissed off so he was my only support other then the two of you but like I said I didn't want to worry you guys..."
"Hone, I don't get what it is your trying to tell me because you just started babbling. Take a deep breath and calm yourself. Once you're calm enough start from the beginning, okay"
Okay I can do this, deep breaths Liz in out. Okay, aw shit who am I kidding I won't be able to say it without babbling again.
"I-I can't calm down, do you know what he said to me. He threw me the hell off. Now I don't even know how I feel about anything. I-I'm just so confused and frustrated right now"
~sigh what is this girl saying. Okay I just need to calm her down enough so she can get an actual sentence out ~
"Liz, look at me. Calm down. Inhale exhale. Okay now try to tell me what it is that has you this worked up."
How to tell her? Okay calm, breath in and out.
^are you just going to leave her wondering what happened^ Estella your no help go away.
^I came to help you but fine I'm leaving^ no don't leave me, I can't do this alone
^I thought you wanted me to leave^ there are a lot of things I want, like not being in this situation.
^okay, okay. I'm here, I'm not leaving just calm down^......
"Liz? You okay?"
"Huh, yeah I'm fine just don't know how to start." Shit where do I start.
"Don't worry, just take your time k. here how about you came and spend the night at my place."
I nod my head; I know if I stay I'll go insane. We get into my car and we leave the place I've called home for three years.
Two hours later
"Wow"
"That's it, that's all I get a 'wow' "
"Well I still need to process all this. It's still weird to know you dated one of my teachers and now this, yeah give me a bit k."
I laugh at her expression, I'm just glad I was able to get everything out and tell someone even if we did keep getting interrupted.
"Okay so what are you going to do about it? On the one had there's Conner who you have been in love with for quite a long time and then there's Justin who you dated."
"I don't know I'm just so confused. First with Conner and how I found him sucking face with Sofia. 1. Cómo pudo hacerme eso, quiero decir que yo se que no estamos juntos, pero eso no quita el dolor que sentía al ver que la besaba."
"Hone as much as I love hearing you speak Spanish I didn't understand a word you said."
I just laugh and apologize for going off in Spanish for the eleventh time that night. I felt so drained and stressed and over what, some guys. I liked my life better when Justin was out of my life and Conner and I were best friends but I can't come to regret anything that has happened in those three years. Even if I would be a lot happier without Justin in my life I can't see him not being in it to annoy the crap out of me. What does that say about my feelings toured Justin. I know deep down I never stopped loving him but I was able to suppress that feeling for so long that now it just feels as if I've fallen all over again.
^What about Conner? ^ What about him? I know he'll never see me as anything but a friend.
^sigh. What IF he did? Just what IF. Did you ever consider to think about that? ^ No I never thought about the what IF's.
^why not? ^ I don't know. May be because I don't want to get my hopes up just to end up heartbroken, because of my stupidity.
^sigh. What am I going to do with you^ what do you mean?
^nothing just forget I said anything^ sigh whatever Estella
^I'm tired. I'm going to sleep night^ huh, oh night
*Estella rolls her eyes*
"You're doing it again"
"What. Oh sorry"
Tamy just laughs at me. After a little while she tells me to get some sleep and that we would keep talking in the morning. So we both walked to our respective rooms-yes I have a room at Tamy's place-and crashed for the night.
Elizea's dream
*People dancing in a ball room. People around are wearing masks and ball gowns*
As I am descending the stair case I see every one turn and stare in my direction. As I'm making my way down, a spot light comes on in the middle of the dance floor-everyone turns to where the spot light is- were I see two guys standing side by side. It looked like they were awaiting for something or someone. As the crowd quiets down they both turn in my direction-I'm standing at the bottom of the stair case- to my dismay I cannot see who they are for they have a mask on. The one on the left had a white mask that only covered his eyes just as mine did but his was somehow different. You couldn't really see his eyes through the holes; it was as if it didn't have them. The other guy had a half mask, white as well but his covered half of his face leaving only his lips uncovered. I was able to see his eye's through the mask. To my astonishment they looked so familiar.
Where have I seen those eyes? Who are they?
As I'm trying to figure out who they are, I hadn't noticed that they were in front of me offering me each an arm. I just stared at them as if they were crazy or was I just shocked. They both looked at me expectantly, as if I had to choose between them. I look from one to the other. Then I see a third person walk to where we are standing. This guy looked different from the two standing next to me. Where they were wearing black tux, he was wearing a white one. Where their masks were white and plain his was decorated with elegant and elaborate gold and black designs. As he approaches us-I'm assuming me but the guys are next to me-he extends a hand out to me. As of now I'm surrounded by three guys who look so eerily familiar.
Who are they? Why does it feel as if their silently asking me to choose between them? Maybe I'm reading too much into it. After all it is only a dance. I look at each one of the guys in turn. The first-the one with the mask covering only his eyes- has black hair not to long but not short ether, he looked to be in his early twenties, about 6'3", but who was he? I know I know who he is, who they all are but I just can't put names to ether of the three. The second guy-the one with the half mask-has short blond hair with gray eye's, looks to be in his mid twenties about 6'5". The last guy-the one in the white tux-looked so familiar but...I don't know how to explain it. It's as if I know him and at the same time I know nothing about him. He has a light mahogany tint in his dark brown hair his eyes are a piercing green with specks of blue. He was the tallest by far at about 6'5" he also looked to be in his early twenties.
As I'm lost in my thought I don't notice when the music had come on or how I was dancing with the first guy, after a few moments dancing with him he spins me and now I'm dancing with the second guy. As the song finished the third guy comes up to me. He bows and takes me by my hand and waist to start the next dance. As I'm staring at him, lost within my thoughts he looks down at me and smiles the most beautiful and radiant smile that I have ever see. Wait no that's not true. I've see that smile so many times but I just can't for the life of me remember where I have see it or who I've seen with that smile.
He slowly bends his head toured mine, never breaking eye contact with me and in those eyes I see the one thing I could never find or have for that matter. I saw in those piercing green eyes all the love in the world and it was directed toured me and me alone. As his lip gets closer mine I close my eyes expectantly. I can feel his breath on my lips, when he goes to close the distance between us.............
Kiss me, out of the bearded barley, nightly, beside the green, green grass swing, swing, swing the spinning step......
*Elizea groans as her phone rings*
Who the hell is calling me?!
Phone convo
Liz: hello
Caller: where the hell are you?
Liz: uhhh I'm sleeping, call me later
Caller: I will not hang up until you tell me where the hell you're at.
Liz: MT what the hell I'm tired. You know what I'll just call you later.
MT: don't you dare hang up on me Tel.
Liz: you know you can't stop me from hanging up right.
Why does he have to be so protective of me *sigh* we're the same age and he acts as if I really need him to give me this crap. Why does everyone treat me like I'm a little girl?
MT: if you hang up I'll just keep calling. Just tell me where you're at and I'll ether come get you or leave you alone.
Liz: MT......uhhh I'm at Tamy's.....now let me sleep.
MT: *sigh* fine but I'm coming over once you wake up
Liz: I have my car
MT: yeah that's why I'm coming to get you when you wake up
Liz: whatever....night MT
MT: night Tel
End of phone convo
*Sigh* he interrupted my strange but wonderful dream. I still can't get the fact that I know all three of them but who are they? And why did I dream about them. I know I should call Ashanti. Ask her what my dream means and hopefully I can figure out who those guys were.
Translation:
1. How could he do that, I mean I know we're not together, but that does not take away the pain I felt on seeing him kiss her.