I woke up in a tangle of limbs, warm and comfortable. A thin sheet covered our bodies from the chilly air inside the room, and it was just enough. Perfect. A perfect moment marking the end of four days of nothing but each other. We had skipped classes and meals, forgetting everything but the feel of skin against skin. We'd lived in a cocoon, shielded from the outside world.
Opening my eyes, I saw rays of faint sunlight filtering in through the curtains, casting everything in a cold autumn glow. Ayden was breathing behind me, soft and even, blowing soft little puffs of air onto my neck.
Again, I wondered how I could have been blind for so long. He was there all this time, every step of the way from when I was a boy until now. He knew me inside and out—he had been my solid rock who stood by me as my world had fallen apart over and over again while I grew up. How had I missed that he and I could be more than friends?
I must have stirred because Ayden came alive behind me. "Is it morning yet." His lips touched my skin as he mumbled, and it felt like all the little hairs on my neck stood right up response.
"Yeah, I believe it is."
"You're still here," he continued as if he hadn't thought I would be. I smiled and then snorted out a soft laugh.
"That's such a cheesy comment. And we've been here for the last four days, you'd think I would have left before that."
Ayden started to chuckle behind me, the vibrations traveling from his chest into mine.
"I guess you're right."Ayden's fingers grabbed around mine, pressing lightly. He kissed the sensitive skin just below my hairline, and I melted into his touch.
I turned to face him, struggling to keep my limbs underneath the covers in an attempt to avoid the cold air. Our chests aligned and I kissed his nose, then his mouth.
"So, who's making breakfast?" I asked.
"You," he said, pinching my butt while grinning like a fool.
"Aooow, what was that for?"
He continued to smile and surprised me by pushing me out of the bed. I landed with a crash on the cold hardwood floor, growling out a string of profanities.
"Ayden, I will kill you." I sprang up and jumped onto the bed, pushing him down into the soft mattress. Straddling him, I wiggled my butt over his crotch. I wasn't even aware of doing it until his eyes rolled backward; his lips releasing a strangled moan. I stepped off of him, snatched the sheet and wrapped it around my body.
"Hey, that's my sheet," he complained.
"Well, you kicked me out, so deal with it. I'm making breakfast." I sauntered out of the room while Ayden rolled up in a little ball to shield himself from the cold.
* * * *
We were sated. For now. The day wore on, evolving into something akin to normal. We ate our first proper meal in days, we cleaned the apartment, and I went shopping for groceries.
Walking down the street, seeing the sun, watching people—it seemed different. Every little item told a different story, every face looked brighter. It felt like someone had shaken me awake, like my awareness was sharper. It was odd, but it kept me smiling. Even the tedious task of going through the store was bearable.
On my way back, I saw couples sauntering about, hand in hand or just together. Young, old, some with children, but not one of them were two women or two men. I had never thought of it before. Unease crawled its way into my chest, gnawing at the fragile emotions that I so recently had become aware of.
Could I be gay? Was it even possible to change overnight like I had? Had I changed at all? Was I not the same person?
I grew cold, shivering beneath my leather jacket despite the sun shining on my face. Shaking my head, I continued to walk, determined not to make any decisions about anything until I was sure of what was going on. I doubted it was a phase, but that small nagging insecurity dulled the colors around me again.
When I entered through the door, Ayden came up, snaking an arm around my waist, and as his lips descended on mine, I forgot my doubts. Perhaps they would return, but that was a sad thought that was easily thrown to the back of my mind.
"Did you get any snacks?" Ayden asked.
"We've had like nothing but snacks these last few days. Don't you think we should eat something a bit healthier?"
"What? We're burning calories." His hands ran up my chest, suggestive and teasing.
I chuckled. "That we are." It was impossible to think of obstacles when he touched me with certainty. It was as if he knew what both of us wanted, and he wasn't afraid to lead the way forward.
"I need fuel, though," he added, dropping his gaze to the paper bags filled with groceries.
"I'll make us something quick. I might have bought frozen pizzas."
He laughed. "Really?"
"Yes." It was quite embarrassing, but I had a feeling we might end up doing something that didn't allow enough time for cooking.
We watched a few episodes of Breaking Bad during the afternoon, lounging on the sofa like we always did, only, this time we sat closer—our bodies touching every so often. Even if those touches had become commonplace these last four days, they still sent tingles across my skin. It felt natural, comfortable, but also exciting.
After the fourth episode in a row, I turned off the streaming service and stretched my limbs. My eyes were tired, and I wanted to do something different.
"Do you want to go out and grab a beer?" Ayden asked before I could propose anything. "What about Herman's?"
"Sure."
We headed out, and I stopped outside the door, breathing in the chilly air that tasted crisp even if I knew it was tinted with exhaust. I pulled up a cigarette, letting it dangle on my lip as I dared Ayden to say something. He wasn't a fan of my smoking, but I didn't care. I wasn't becoming that kind of guy, not yet.
"Those will kill you one day."
"Fuck off," I said, earning me a grin.
"I'll fuck you instead, since you're asking."
I chuckled. "You're a sex monster."
"And you love it."
We were still laughing when we opened the door to the British-style pub. The interior style made no secret of what the owners preferred, or perhaps what the guests anticipated from a pub such as this. Dark wooden paneling along the walls, comfortable booths around sturdy tables and beer mats absolutely everywhere. The place was filled with men, staring at a football game on large screens that littered the place. Fuck, game night. I hated those.
"Perhaps we should find something else?" I said. I never enjoyed bars on nights like these. The crowd usually got rowdy, if not because their team won, then because they lost—there was no way out of it.
"Come on, Cal, it'll be fun. It's not like we have to stay all night." He made me sound like a whiny brat, so I shrugged and waved for him to lead the way to the bar.
"Two India Pale Ales, please," Ayden said to the bartender, holding a couple of bills in his hand.
"We're out of those, have a Budweiser, like normal folks," the bulky woman muttered back. She placed two bottles on the counter, opened them and took the cash, all without asking if it was okay or not. The Budweiser betrayed the lack of genuine British-ness. Not that it surprised me.
Ayden rolled his eyes while handing me the beer. "Seems like we don't have a choice tonight."
I clinked my bottle with his and took a sip. I was totally fine with a Bud.
We sat down in one of the booths, sipped our beers and landed in some kind of awkward silence. It wasn't uncomfortable in the way such silences could be, but it was still a bit forced. We were used to talking, but not about the potential relationship between the two of us. Things had been left unsaid during the four days we'd spent getting to know each other in an entirely new way, and this didn't feel like the best opportunity to start that particular conversation.
The bar was getting crowded, so instead of talking we watched the people around us. Middle-aged men yelled at the screens or toasted each other when something went their way, getting more and more excited with every drop of alcohol. Ayden must have seen my annoyance because he stood up and announced that he was getting another round. I was about to stop him, but he had already vanished in the crowd.
I turned back to stare some more at the game that didn't interest me while I waited. However, my stare was broken by someone spilling a drink in my lap. The cold beer hit me like a slap.
"You're disgusting," the man spat, sneering at me like I was less than dirt.
It took me a moment to replace my surprise with a scowl. "What the hell!" I exclaimed, watching as his back disappeared among all other bodies. That had been deliberate.
I tried to soak up the mess with a pair of useless paper towels, muttering words here and there without making much sense. The entire exchange had me on edge.
"What happened?" Ayden put the beers on the table and pointed at the wet spot covering my dark jeans.
"Some hater," I replied, still too shocked to make much sense of things.
"Shit. That's messed up. Let's go home and clean you up.
"Yeah. Probably best."
We left the bar, and the light feeling I had walking inside was replaced by a heavy weight settling around me. I wasn't prepared for this.