When my family disowned me, I doubted myself for who I was and wondered day in and out if I could change. If what I was was a lie, if I'd somehow convinced myself that this was right when clearly it was so wrong. My brother, Jace, had looked at me like an alien as if he were seeing me for the first time, and he wasn't sure what to make of me. Izzy had hugged me, tighter than ever before, and whispered apologies on behalf of everyone else. She'd promised me I'd always have her, no matter what. Max was too young to understand why at 16, I was leaving him behind. My mother was a stone, her face cold and dark in the cozy, warm living room, and my father was silent. Out of the blue, my mother boomed like thunder, coming at me with every insult she knew, her words laced with venom and her hands like vices on my wrists. Jace took Max upstairs, and she let me have it, leaving me broken in so many ways, out in the cold January wind.
But here, seated on a luxurious black couch in front of a wall of windows casting over New York City, the television idly creating background noise, waiting for Magnus to return from his ridiculous sized kitchen with our coffees, I realized that none of that mattered. Magnus walks in, all smiles and bright composure holding 2 mugs, steaming with coffee. Gratefully, I take one, watching him sit beside me, tucking one leg up on the couch so he can angle towards me easier. I do the same, automatically shaping myself towards Magnus as if we were magnets and my own blood ached to be closer to his.
"Thank you for inviting me over, Magnus, your house is...wow." He laughs softly, reminding me of sunlight, and the sound seems to caress my skin like a soft breeze. Smiling, I welcome it.
"It's really my pleasure, Alec. Is that short for something?" He tilts his head a few degrees to the side, eyes narrowing only the slightest in wait for my answer.
"Uhm..." I fumble, wondering if I should tell him. He'd know of my family, they own a long line of cruise ships and yacht clubs, and I know he knows the Lightwood name. But here he is, waiting with bated breath as if my simple name is the last piece of his puzzle, so I throw any qualms aside and decide to be truthful with him if only just tonight. "Yes, It's short for Alexander." He nods then, head straightening as his lips tug up slightly at the corners. I can tell he's not quite looking at me, eyes down as if he's thinking.
"Alexander Light..." my name sounds exotic coming from between his lips, but warm and subdued, and a million shades of home.
"Lightwood." I bite my tongue as soon as the correction bites out from between my lips. My voice is confident but quiet, and his head shoots up like I've slapped him. I cast my eyes away, chewing on my lip enough I can taste metallic.
"You're a Lightwood, Alexander?" I haven't heard my full name in so long but drawn out between his perfect lips, it sounds wonderful.
"I was a Lightwood, once." He furrows his thin brows together, begging for an answer that I'm not sure I'm ready to give this impossibly perfect stranger. Holding back a deep sigh, I meet his honey eyes with my own deep, swimming blue ones. "When I came out as gay, my mother told me to leave and not come back, she swore that no child of hers would tarnish the Lightwood name by being such an embarrassing abomination." I can hear my own voice fading out in my ears, my eyes growing damp, so I shut them and look away from Magnus, embarrassed for him to see me so upset over something that happened 2 years ago. Instead of getting up and leaving, like I figured he would, I feel Magnus soft palm against my cheek, realizing then that it's already damp with tears I didn't notice. Softly, he brushes them away and pulls me to his chest, letting my head fall into the small hollow of his neck. He says nothing but rubs soft circles on my back, and for once I feel as if it's okay to feel something, to feel vulnerable because Magnus doesn't scare me like the rest of the world does. Something about Magnus Bane feels like coming home.
It's nearing 2 in the morning when I finally look at my watch. "Holy crap, I'm sorry I stayed so late Magnus, it's almost 2!" We'd moved on from coffee and now were sipping cocktails he made. He'd loosened his tie and unbuttoned the first few buttons of his dress shirt, revealing a smooth collarbone beneath. To my surprise, he just smiles softly and shrugs.
"Do you work in the morning, Alexander?" I shake my head, furrowing my brows together as I watch him. He's the picture of ease, leaning back against the armrest, one of his ankles resting idly on my knee, the other foot tucked beneath him, swaying his cocktail gently. "Then stay?" His tone raises slightly at the end, like a question, but never losing the inkling of confidence that he conveys with every word. I weigh this offer in my mind for a second. Wondering what this would mean if I did stay with Magnus Bane tonight, what he would expect for us. This was meant to be simple, a dinner and an interview, then we'd part our separate ways, and he'd go back to being rich and luxurious, and I'd go back to missing that feeling every second. Against my better judgment, I nod. His face lights up like the sun, his bright smile beaming at me as if I've just gifted him something magical. I find myself flushing lightly, but smiling back.
"Great!" He continues, his foot bouncing a bit against my other leg. "I have a wonderful guest room that I don't use often, I think you'll love it." I sigh internally. Thank heavens there's a guest room. I don't think I'm ready to share a bed with Magnus Bane, especially since I'm sure this is all a dream, and I'll wake up poor and lonely again, I'll wake up Alec Light.
After we muse and enjoy each other's muted company for awhile longer, Magnus offers to show me my room for the night. I nod softly and stand after him, following him up a winding staircase. We pass a plethora of rooms, and I find myself eager to explore every inch that Magnus Bane has touched. I push the eagerness aside and follow him to the end of the hall where on one side, a wide set of dark double doors looms at us, and across from it another door the same shade. He opens that one, and motions for me to enter.
The room is in shades of deep purple and gold, the bed a four post with a soft canopy. Its sheets are silken and smooth, the bedspread itself rimmed with gold and tucked elegantly against an ocean of decorative and plush pillows. To the right of the bed is a cherry wood nightstand with a lamp on it, casting a soft glow against the walls near to it. The room is large and open, a soft cream coloured rug at the foot of the bed with a small chest sitting atop it. There's a matching dresser on the far wall, and a television hanging next to us on the wall. I soak it all in for a minute, my mouth forming a perfect 'o'. Magnus smiles and I feel his hand, soft and sure on my elbow.
"Well? Will it suffice? I know you Lightwoods probably have rooms far more elegant, but-" I shake my head, turning softly to him and resting my hand on the inside of his arm.
"What I had with them doesn't matter anymore. This, Magnus, is absolutely wonderful. Thank you so much for allowing me to stay the night." I turn away then, whispering under my breath, "Besides, it's been a long time since I've been graced with an elegant room to stay in."
"Where do you live now, Alexander?" I tense a bit at the question, my back to Magnus, but he must've noticed the upset of my shoulders as I feel his warm hand smooth the space between my shoulder blades to ease me. It works, and I feel the tension almost seep out of me at his simple touch.
"I live in an apartment near the Dumort building. It's...quaint I guess. Small, simple, nothing like this." He hums softly in acknowledgment but doesn't push it. I'm grateful for him, for the way that in one short night, I was able to decipher so much about Magnus Bane's little quirks and actions. The way he pushes when he knows you want to answer, and wanes away when he knows he's almost crossed the line. But I can tell, just by spending a few short hours with him, that there is so much more to the complex Magnus that I want to find out.
"There's a bathroom attached, through that door on the right, and there are clean towels in there if you feel like a shower at any time. I'll grab you some clothes, for the morning, if you'd like." I nod thankfully at him and he smiles lightly before going into the room with the double doors across the hall. I undo my tie slowly, hanging it on the bed post before working on the buttons of the dress shirt. I let it fall open and run a hand through my hair, giving myself one human minute to wonder how on earth I got so lucky. Magnus seems to be genuinely interested in me, for some odd reason, and I vow to myself that if he is serious about this, I won't mess it up.
"I hope these will do, they're a bit more flashy than you're used to, I'm sure, and-" He stops speaking the second I turn around. I knit my brows together and tilt my head slightly, wondering why he suddenly cut off his sentence. His voice is softer now, subdued and almost awed. "My heavens Alexander Lightwood, you are an absolutely stunning person." I glance down now, the heat rising up my neck and flooding my cheeks at his sudden compliment to notice that my chest and torso are fully displayed for him. He assesses me in a way unlike any other, his eyes curious, hungry, and appreciative all at once. Slowly, he walks towards me, fingertips outstretched a bit. I hold my breath, watching with soft eyes as he gently pushes my shirt to the side a bit, revealing a black symbol over my left hip. His thumb strokes it softly and I find myself shuddering beneath his gentle caress.
"I got a matching one with Jace a couple years ago, before I left. We snuck out, got them one night when my parents would have no idea. Still, they don't know." When his honey eyes meet me, he flashes me a smile that holds more warmth than ever, holding out a stack of neatly folded clothes to me. "Here, though I wouldn't mind if you chose to walk around shirtless the majority of the time you're around me. I enjoy the view." He winks before bidding me goodnight and leaving the room. I laugh breathlessly and rub the back of my neck nervously. Wow, Magnus Bane thinks I'm stunning. I don't know what I did right to deserve a night like this, but when I think of perfect moments in my life, this one is at the top.