Atticus POV
He laid me on my bed, my hands immediately grabbing my bear. I bury my face in his stomach and let it muffle my sobs as I cried. I heard my bed room door slam shut and it only made me cry harder.
"Please. B-bear take hurts. T-take way hurts." I pleaded clutching his soft fabric tightly in my hands.
"Face it Atticus. The only happiness you're ever going to feel is when your bleeding out and the world is fading before your eyes." It chuckled. "But that feeling won't last for long. You'll walk up to the gates of the Moon Goddesses kingdom and you'll feel so happy and blissful until you realize you can't enter her kingdom. She would never allow someone like you into her perfect little world in the after life. Even the Dark King. The king of the underworld won't let you in his kingdom. You're so pathetic that neither one of them would want you. You'd roam the earth as a ghost. You'd watch Sylis get married with a beautiful woman and have pups. Nobody will remember you Atticus. It will only be you and me. I'll be their to remind you, you weren't important. I'll remind you that nobody could've ever loved a disgrace like you." It laughed softly.
"Alo-alone! L-leaves alone! Way g-go way!" I sobbed harshly, digging my nails into my head until I broke the skin.
What the voice was saying must be true. I must be a truly terrible person to deserve all this pain, to deserve to never be happy. I wish there was a way to turn the pain off, to turn everything off so I wouldn't have to feel anything. I wanted to run away so nobody would have to worry about a disgrace like me. I know if I tried I wouldn't make it halfway across the yard before collapsing. If I had my wolf I could run away, but I'm a human now. I'd been stripped of my wolf. I didn't deserve it. At least that's what Sylis told me when he said I didn't have a wolf anymore. He said I didn't deserve to have the blessing to be a werewolf so the Goddess took it from me.
"There's another reason he'd never want you. You're a human, he'd have to protect you and worry about you all the time because you couldn't protect yourself." It hissed.
"Atticus? Are you okay? I heard you crying from down the hall." Alpha Lennon said, his voice filled with concern.
"A-atticus f-f-fine." I hiccuped.
"Then why are you crying so hard hmm?" He asked sitting on the bed next to my legs.
"Al-alpha Lemon no worry."I whispered wiping my eyes and forcing my lips into a small grin as I looked at him.
"Alright, I understand you don't want to talk about it." He said with a smile." Who's this little guy?"He asked pointing to my bear.
"Is Atticus bear. Luna give. Say, say it's Atticus not one else's." I said petting my bears head.
"He's cute. Just like you." Alpha Lennon chuckled.
My cheeks burned as I blushed out of embarrassment causing Alpha Lennon to chuckle. I gave him a soft smile, hiding my face behind my bear.
"Don't hide Atticus. I want to see your beautiful smile." He said gently tugging my bear from my face and placing it on the bed next to me." There that's better." He said smiling.
I couldn't stop the yawn that formed deep within my throat, my eyes watering slightly from the action.
"Yea I'd say it's time for bed too. Get some sleep Atticus I'll see you tomorrow." He said walking to the door." Good night." He whispered softly.
"Night Alpha Lemon." I whispered.
"How could you think he actually cares." It chuckled. "Its just an act Atticus." It hissed.
********
I sat propped up against the headboard, tears streaming down my cheeks as the voice kept screaming at me.
"Sylis will never love you. He hates you Atticus, you disgust him. Alpha Lennon doesn't care about you he's just going to use you. He'll treat you nice and then he'll take you back to his pack and you know what happens next? He's going to torture you just like Alpha Tyler. Your old alpha. Remember him? Remember how he would pour wolfsbane in your mouth and force you to drink it? Remember the hatred that burned in his eyes as he whipped you bloody? That's what Alpha Lennon is going to do. Alpha Eric and Luna Jackie are in on it. They planned it. They want to get rid of you Atticus. Everyone here hates you." It snarled.
"N-no! Atticus no w-wants hurts!" I sobbed shaking my head and pulling my bear close.
"But you deserve it. You deserve to suffer. After all your the reason your pack died. You got them all killed because you couldn't stay quiet." It snapped causing me to flinch.
"At-atticus know. A-atticus k-know." I sobbed.
"Alpha Lennon is going to get you Atticus, and Sylis is going to watch. He's going to laugh as Alpha Lennon beats you to death." It hissed.
"N-no." I whimpered.
"Hell Sylis might even hand you over to him." It chuckled.
"N-no!" I cried, digging my nails into my head until it started bleeding.
I pulled harshly at my locks, rocking back and forth as fear consumed me. Whimpers fell freely from my lips as tears tumbled down my cheeks.
A growl erupted from the other side of the bedroom door, a yelp of fear leaving my lips. The door slammed open, Slylis stalking towards the bed with anger written on his face.
I was terrified.
His eyes swirled with hatred and anger as he slipped his hand over my throat and squeezed. I let out a sob as sparks flew where our skin touched, my hands coming up and gripping his hand.
"Would you shut up?!" He snarled.
"P-please please no gi-give Atticus to Alpha L-lemon. Do-dont let Alpha Lemon h-hurts A-atticus. A-atticus n-no wants hurts more." I sobbed. "A-atticus sorry Sy-sylis hates. At-atticus sorry Sy-sylis stuck with Atticus. At-Atticus k-know Sylis no care bout A-atticus. P-"
"Shut up!" He growled.
"At-atticus tired of voice. Vo-voice-" I sobbed.
"I said shut up!" He snarled, his free hand forming into a fist and slamming into the headboard right next to my head, causing a scream to leave my lips.
"Sylis!" Alpha Eric snarled. "Get away from him!" He snapped.
"I. Will. Never. Love. You." He snarled and just like that I crumbled under his touch.
Alpha Eric grabbed Sylis by the back of the neck and drug him away leaving me a sobbing mess. Without thinking twice I grabbed my bear and ran out of my room, I was panting by the time I made it to the stairs but it didn't stop me.
My lungs burned by the time I made it to the snow covered yard, my legs collapsing under me. I wheezed, my breath coming out in white puffs. Tears still tumbling down my cheeks as I caught my breath, my heart aching with every thump.
I could hear yelling in the house as I slowly crawled towards the tree line in the yard. My bear and my clothes were wet from the snow, the cold wrapping around me as I slowly stood to my feet once I caught my breath.
With the last of my energy I ran, deep into the woods as fast as my legs would carry me. Finally I collapsed again, I laid on the cold snow covered ground. Sobbing I curled into myself and gripped my now soaking wet bear to my face.
"They didn't even attempt to find you. I told you they don't care." It chuckled causing me to sob harder.
The voice was right. It was always right.
The night progressed and my body began to grow number from the cold, every part of my body shook harshly as the cold seeped into my bones.
"J-Jus A-at-atticus an-and B-bear." I whispered nuzzling my face into my bears wet one.
"I'm hear too." The voice sang causing me to whimper.
I heard twigs snapping in the forest around me, a whimper leaving my lips.
"M-might jus B-bear n-now. A-atticus s-sorry ha-has leave." I whispered to my bear petting his wet fabric.
"Sounds like rogues Atticus. The Moon Goddesses might actually grant your wish now." The voice chuckled.
A vicious growl caught my attention, my head snapping towards the sound.
A scream left my lips at the sight of the creature before me. It was gray and hairless, muscles rippling with every move it made. It stood on its hind legs, it's teeth bared at me, saliva dripping from its jaws. It's golden eyes practically glowed as they locked with mine. Those golden orbs held a savage look in them as he slowly stalked towards me.
Tears streamed down my cheeks, and screams left my lips the closer it got.
"Atticus." The misshapen wolf growled, it's voice inhuman and deep.
It had a murderous look in its eyes as it towered over me, placing his misshapen paw like hands on each side of my head.
It's saliva dripped on my cheeks as he licked his bared teeth. The creature took my bear that was clutched in a death grip on my hands and threw it in a random direction causing me to sob harder.
"Ki-kill At-atticus?" I cried.
It growled, ignoring my question and sniffing the base of my throat. It rumbled and scraped its teeth against my skin, a cry leaving my lips at the burning sensation. It swiped it's tongue along the burning spot, soothing that pain before it open his jaws wide.
"At-atticus s-sorry Sy-sylis. N-no has ha-have hate more." I whispered softly as the creature began lowering his open jaws to the base of my throat.