Another week passes, more or less in silence. We've all moved on with my lives, although Sam has been visiting me a lot and talking to me on the phone. Alexander ... well, I haven't seen much of him, but when our paths did cross, he seemed awkward around me. Like he didn't know how to suddenly act.
He wasn't mean to me, didn't have any remarks. That bothered me. I don't want him to look at me differently now. Like I'm broken. Because I'm not. It would take far more to break me than just some guy who's a psycho.
Sam made me realise that. And for that, I'm really grateful.
Alfred and Rosalyn didn't know about what happened that night. I made Sam promise she wouldn't tell a soul about it and she agreed because she knew how it felt. She didn't pressure me.
So, my life went on completely normally. I had a great week, to think about it. I've been around Amelia a lot because Rosalyn and Alfred had a very busy week, but that didn't bother me in the slightest. She was real sunshine and she took my mind off things I didn't want to think about.
Sam also took me shopping one afternoon. And although our taste in clothes is totally different, I did buy some truly cute things for myself that even Sam approved of. It was nice. And I got to accommodate to the city a bit more.
Sam mentioned a bonfire she's going to tonight. She said that if I want to come, I'm welcome to, but she won't pressure me about it since she understands it might be uncomfortable for me to go.
She assured me that if I decided to go, she and Snake aren't leaving me from their sight. She also said that Alexander's going, too, and as long as he's near, he won't let anything happen to me.
I'm not so sure about that since I still don't know what to think about Alexander anymore, but I appreciated her words. They meant the world to me, which she probably didn't even realise.
It made me nervous to go out again, but on the other hand, I don't want to hide between four walls again. I came here to escape this and to live my life, not to damage it even more.
I pull my phone out of my pocket and send Sam a text.
That invitation to that bonfire thing ... it still stands?
Sam replies instantly.
Yes! Interested?
I smile and quickly type back a response.
Sure. :)
My phone vibrates with a text just a few seconds after I send her my response.
Sweet! Be ready at 7 x
I'm waiting for Sam exactly at 7 by the front door, nervous, but excited. I've never been to a bonfire before and I don't even know what's happening there and what the scene will be like. I'm sure there will be a lot of people, but I don't let it bother me too much.
It helps to have people like Sam by my side. Especially when I see how Sam is still outgoing and unbothered by everything. If anything, I believe it only made her stronger and her skin thicker. I'll strive for that.
Sam comes out of the car to greet me. "Hey, babe. Ready?" she asks.
I nod my head and give her a smile.
"Are you completely sure you want to go? Because if you don't want to, you know you don't have to," she says with a low, sincere voice, looking me directly in the eyes while doing so.
"I'm sure, Sam," I reassure her. Ryder will not make me hide these last months I'm here. Besides, he's currently not physically capable of being there since Alexander shot him in his leg.
I still don't know how to feel about it. I mean, I'm happy he didn't actually kill him, but ... did he really need to shoot him? I believe Alexander holds a grudge for Ryder because of their past but was I really worth him to put himself in that risk?
Sam wraps her arm around my shoulders and we go to the car. Snake's driving and he greets me with a nod. I nod back at him, too.
The drive there feels like forever. It's filled with loud music and lots of singing, especially on Sam's part. Snake is mostly just laughing at Sam, joining her sometimes. They look cute. Even though Sam says they're not really a couple, I see the way Snake looks at her. It's like he has everything he's ever wished for sitting right next to him. It's like she's his whole world.
My heart aches. I stare out of the window, keeping a smile on my face, making me yearn to feel this at least once in my life, too.
The other reason why the drive feels so long is that I'm filled with anticipation. I wonder what's it going to be like, what's going to happen and I try really hard not to start panicking. I also have a feeling that I might be a burden for Sam and Snake tonight because I think they feel obligated to babysit me.
And when we come there, I'm instantly in a better mood, just admiring the scene in front of me. It's not hard to spot the bonfire in the distance, even though there's a mass of people gathered around it. It's really big and beautiful.
I've never seen a bonfire before. I know it might sound funny, but I was a very anti-social person back in France. I never went out because I didn't have anyone to go with.
We don't go into the crowd, though. We go meet Alexander and his crew as Sam says, who I now see it sitting under some old trees, smoking and drinking. I count 10 of them and 7 of them are guys, Alexander among them. How great.
Alexander sits with his back to us when we come there, but as if he senses us coming, he turns around and his eyes immediately find me. I'm not able to hold his stare so I just lower my eyes, looking down at the ground, uncomfortable.
I'm still not over what happened between us that night Ryder kidnapped me. And I'm still not over how he reacted to it in the morning.
Out of the corner of my eyes, I see him standing up, but I still don't look at him. I don't dare to. "Sam. A word."
I probably look like an idiot, looking down at my shoes like I'm admiring them. Also, his voice sends a rush down my body. It makes me shudder just hearing it. And I instantly hate myself that I get that reaction when being somewhere near him.
Alexander drags Sam with him. I hear her mutter, "What the hell does he want now," under her breath and I have to smile at that.
Now that Alexander's not in the circle anymore, I'm finally able to look at everyone. Only to see they're all staring at me in silence and wonder. My cheeks paint into ten different shades of red. It's awkward. And now I don't know where to look.
I look at Alexander and Sam instead. Sam is rapidly telling something to Alexander while he's standing there with his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes flicker to me, but I don't look away this time. His eyes don't stop on me because he looks back at Sam right away.
He shakes his head and then they both come there. Alexander greets Snake with their usual handshake, which I find really cool.
"Come. Let's go sit down."
I meet the crew and soon find out they're all pretty chill people and nice to hang out, even though they look a bit intimidating on first look. Ripper is also here, a guy I met in Islington the night the police showed up.
"So, Gabby, what's your poison?" Derek asks me, a heavily tattooed guy and so hot it makes it hard to look at him. He has a girlfriend, though, but it doesn't hurt to look.
"It's best if you give her water only," Alexander speaks for me, suddenly sitting down next to me.
I cast him a furious look. "How about no?" I say with raised eyebrows.
Alexander rolls his eyes at me. "Are you seriously going to fuck yourself up just to defy me?"
He has a point. We all already know alcohol and I don't go well together. I glare at him for some more seconds, just to give myself the satisfaction, before I turn back to Derek. "Water will be just fine for me, thanks."
Derek stares at me and then his eyes flick to Alexander with a small smile breaking on his face. "What a polite girl you got yourself, Sin. She could teach you some manners."
Alexander grunts and takes a swift of his drink. "Don't say anything too soon. She can play an angel when she's really a devil in disguise."
Now it's my turn to look at him with raised eyebrows. "What the hell does that mean?"
Alexander shrugs. "What I just said."
This night is starting off really great. If this is how it's going to be all night, I'd rather just go home. I'm in no mood to bicker with Alexander like we're five-years-old. I thought we were way past this already. I guess I was mistaken.
I choose to ignore his remark and answer Derek. "Sin hasn't gotten himself anything. I'm only babysitting his sister." I purposefully say his nickname louder. It doesn't escape my notice how he flinches beside me. Good. Let him have a taste of his own medicine.
"Damn. You can come babysit something of mine anytime you want," another guy speaks, Ian I think is his name.
"I think that's enough," Alexander says lowly, glaring at Ian.
I have to hold myself not to throw my hands up in the air and just yell What the fuck?! in his face. He's playing a nice guy one minute and then he's something else entirely.
I decide it would be best if I just ignore him fully. I came here to have fun and this jerk won't spoil it for me.
But the longer we stay there sitting, chatting and laughing, the darker it gets and the colder it is. I'm still not completely used to this London weather and I'm slowly starting to curse myself for not bringing something warmer with me. I should've known. But I also thought we were going to be closer to the bonfire and I suspected it would be hot there.
I should've brought something with me nevertheless, especially when I know how easily I get cold.
And now I'm almost hugging myself into a ball. I can't even speak because I'm trembling so badly. Sam said we can go home if I want to, but I refused to spoil her fun. She said I was stubborn as hell, but I'm not going to move my ass and be a loser and ruin Sam's fun because I was so stupid didn't think about bringing warmer clothes with me.
"If Sin isn't gonna be a man enough to warm up his girl, you can take my sweater, babe," Ripper offers kindly with a crooked smile.
He's been trying to flirt with me the whole night, but I think it was all innocent and I think he just wanted to get some reaction out of Alexander, at which he didn't really succeed.
I have to lean forward to look at him since Alexander sits in the way and now when I'm trying to look at him, I also can't ignore the way Alexander looks at me; like it's the first time he's taking a real notice of what's going on with me.
Not that I expected him to react in any way. Once an asshole, always an asshole. And just because he decided to kiss me just a week ago for whatever reason he had, doesn't mean he's suddenly going to become a prince charming. That's what I learned soon enough.
But Alexander is just full of surprises tonight. He extends his arm and says, "Come here."
I stare at him like he's lost his goddamn mind. Is he joking? He's surely making fun of me. And when I make a move, he's going to say something rude and everyone will have a good laugh on me.
"Come here," he says, indicating with his hand to scoot closer.
Sam bumps me from my right. "Do I have to push you there or you're going willingly?" she says on a whisper, close to my eyer.
I eye Alexander with distrust as I move a little closer to him, watching what his reaction is going to be.
He sighs. "For fuck's sake, Little one," he says quietly, pulls me to him by my sleeve and because it's not enough to be completely by his side, he scoops me up in his arms and sits me down between his legs, wrapping his arms around my frame. "Was that so fucking hard?" he whispers in my ear, making all the hair stand up on my neck.
I don't have anything to say back to him. He shocked the hell out of me. I think I'm not even breathing in the moment. I'm ... He's holding me? Like ... he has literally wrapped his arms around me? Willingly?
I turn my face into his chest so I hide my flaming cheeks from everyone else in the circle. I inhale his smell, enjoying it, remembering it; that smell of him and sandalwood.
I'm instantly warmer. Not that much from his warm body, more from the rush of adrenaline that's currently travelling down my body, making my body tingle.
I feel Alexander lighting a cigarette above my head and I turn my head to look up at him, having to stare past his chin to see his eyes. "If you're planning to burn my hair with your cigarette, I'm going to punch you in the throat," I murmur.
Alexander only looks down at me and gives me a sincere smile that flips everything inside of me upside down.
I'm living for Alexander being cute. Honestly.
I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. You can definitely expect some changes happening on Alexander's part ;)
By the way! Are any of you going to see Fifty Shades Darker??? (I live for these books btw!!). Just wondering!
A big thanks to @mx_xox for these lovely covers!
Now I need to go eat all those doughnuts my mum made today before somebody else does. Bye, lovelies!
x
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