(A/N: I'm baack! And I'm writing your requests now, so be very, very scared.
First of all, Deacury!
This is gonna be fun. ; )
Warning: Lot of bassists jokes. Sorrynotsorry.
Enjoy!)
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Once upon a time there was a band "Queer" - their real name, so majestic, Freddie made it when he looked at Brian and Roger and don't even tell me it wasn't like that.
Unfortunately, they were really poor because they didn't have a bass player. Shame.
"We need some bass player!" Freddie hit the table with his fist one day, when they were sitting together in his house.
"Great idea, how will we find him?" asked Brian, hugging his Red Special and ignoring jealous glares the percussist was giving at him.
"Listen, I've got a plan. It's gonna be awesome. We will kidnap some random guy from a street. A then we'll close him in ours basement, where we'll teach him how to play on a bass guitar, feeding him only with a bread and water. We'll wash his brain and make him an obedient bassist, who-"
"Or we'll just make a try-out," interrupted Taylor, crossing his arms.
"That'll be better," added May.
"Ur boring," said Freddie.
And then he went to organise a try-out.
Because no one needed and liked the bassists, suddenly everyone saw a chance and it didn't take them long to beat and path to Queer's doors.
* * *
"Nope... nope... not this one... this one can play only two chords... actually it's a lot for a bassist... but still nope... nope... this one is too little English... not this one... this one looks like an idiot, he would ruin band's image... and this one doesn't even have a bass guitar! It's a fuckin' ukulele!"
Frustrated Freddie was walking around, watching the bassists standing on a scene. None of them was acceptable enough. None of them was perfect.
"Maybe this one?" Roger pointed at the random guy. "Play us somethin'"
He did was we was pleased to.
"I think his good," said Brian.
"I think that if he was drowning, I would throw his amp at him," answered Mercury.
May and Taylor looked at each other, knowing fully, that this was going to be a long, long try-out.
A few hours passed and those less engaged went to home. Freddie was still shaking his head with a disappointment, saying something about teaching his cat to play a bass.
"Stop!" he shouted suddenly, pointing to the one guy standing shyly beside the wall and drinking a tea. "You! You play?"
"M-me?" the man reddened, when everyone looked at him. "I just came here because I heard they're giving a free tea here."
"Nevermind," Mercury said and gave him an instrument, ordering him to play.
So he started to play and he did a pretty good job. Freddie made a decision; he'll take him. To the band, he meant. It wasn't about his playing though. He could make the worst solo in the world here and the leader would take him anyway. He just liked him.
"What's your name?"
The bassist murmured something.
"Say it again!"
"John Deacon!"
"Welcome in the band, Jawn!"
Brian grunted behind his back. "Do ya care about ours opinion?"
Freddie smiled charmingly. "Of course not, darling."
That's how they found the bassist. Hooray.
* * *
Freddie Mercury was sitting in his home, petting a cat, telling them his secret.
He had a crush on John Deacon. He couldn't fight it anymore. He felt like he was drowning in the bassist's beautiful green eyes, always staring in his cup of tea. He was so cute, quiet, calm, looking absolutely sweet, drinking in the corner and repeating that he's only here playing the bass. The others made fun of him, but not Mercury. Mercury protected him. Mercury wanted to be with him. The problem was, how to tell him and don't scare him.
Another problem - what about his cats? Won't they be jealous?
"Love is hard," sighed Freddie and went to drink something.
The next day they were playing a concert. They played good, at least they thought that, because the public wasn't throwing the rotted vegetables at them.
After the concert they went backstage, very glad. Brian and Roger started to cuddle, typical, and some girl came to John and talked with him.
"Who is this?" asked irritated and jealous Freddie, pointing at the girl.
"She's my girlfriend," answered Deacky, smiling.
Mercury was standing there, shocked, the whole world spinning. He felt angry. He felt hurt, not being the centre of John's interest.
"...then fuck yourself," he said and stormed out, running to his home, to find a comfort in his cats.
He found himself crying on a floor, like some stupid teenager girl, crying over the boy he liked. Everything was wrong. So wrong.
He didn't know how long he was crying, but suddenly the loud banging on the door was heard. Freddie opened hesistantly and saw sad John's face.
"What are you doing here?" This question sounded more harsh that the leader meant to, but who cared. He was heartbroken.
"F-Freddie? What has happened? What have I done wrong?"
Mercury let him to the house, avoiding beautiful bassist's gaze.
"Huh? What have I done?"
"You? You've done nothing. I... I've done."
"What?"
"I fell in love..." Freddie's voice sounded like a weak whisper.
Deacon didn't understand at first, but then his eyes grew wide when he realized.
The leader closed his eyes. What he didn't expect when he opened them again was John's face, being so close to his.
Without any further ado, they kissed, both feeling like the whole universe exploded inside of them.
But then the bassist moved away. "Fred, I can't."
"What does it mean you can't?"
"It's... it's... you won't believe me. And of you will, you won't want me."
"Hey, that's not true. Just tell me. I'll understand."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"...I'm a cat."
"Wait what." Freddie was confused. Did he hear wrong?
"Okay I said you won't believe me."
"Well it's not always that a fucking man tells me he's cat. Being a man!"
"You wanna hear my dramatic backstory?"
"Go on." Mercury sat on a couch. Deacon took a deep breath and started the most dramatic story you'll ever hear.
"When I was five years old, cat scratched my hand and then I got an infection and died. But before you'll ask how am I here, I'll answer - I reincarnated. And then I discovered I can turn into a cat. Just like Spiderman or something. So I guess I've got 8 lives left now. That's all."
Freddie started to cry again at thi bootiful stori.
"And now you think I'm fucked..." John sighed.
"No. I love you even more now," musician protested, taking his hand. "Johnny... do you want to be with me?"
Tears formed in the bassist's eyes. "Yes, Freddie!"
He turned into a sweet, brown cat and Fred hugged him and the other cats were jealous.
Freddie and John became a happy couple and Deacon spent the rest of his cat's 8 lives with him.
And the rainbow appeared on the sky and everyone was happy and then of course Freddie woke up from the most beautiful dream he could have and swore with disappointment.
What a shame lol.
THE END