Penny is dying. My own boyfriend stabbed him. Tried to kill others.
So I killed him.
This is the second man I've killed. Maybe that's what makes me special, among other things. That I've killed, and they're all innocent children around me. They don't know what it feels like, after you kill. The torture, the nightmares.
Maybe the boy I killed, my bully, was an accident, but this one was intentional. What makes it ironic is that my bully, I killed by accident, but my lover, I killed on purpose.
I guess life is a whole new kind of messed up. I always new that it wasn't fair. I never had the great life that I pretend to have. I'm my own creation, a facade. I play it so well, I've done it so much that I can't even tell the difference between real and lie anymore.
Life isn't fair, so why in the hell would death be any different? Sometimes, I want to do something that can change, make a difference, but it's just my ego. I mean, who am I really, to think that I could change this screwed up world?
So I've sucked up. I take life and death as it comes. I don't question it, I don't cry about it. I try not to dwell on it.
I just drink. A lot.
I took a sip of a concoction I'd made earlier and Margo rolled her eyes.
"This is not the time." I shrugged. She shook her head, not even bothering.
"Spill it, Q. How do we save Penny?" Margo asked.
"Well, in the Fillery books Jane's doll was accepted in the place of her heart. A sacrifice. It only accepted it because it was her most precious possession. We need to find Penny's."
"But we don't know what his precious possession is. We hardly know the guy," Alice supplemented. She was right. All we knew about Penny was that he was a traveler and that he wasn't a very open guy.
"Girlfriend?"
"None that we've seen." Margo shrugged.
"Parents?"
"Dunno." Alice bit her lip, worried.
"Well, let's look through his room, see if we can find anything. A picture or object that might be important to him." With that, we all rushed to his room.
Penny's room was really messy. I didn't even enter. It was not my kind of place to be. I watched as they tore the place apart, finding nothing of importance.
A few hours passed and we finally called it quits.
"You know, in Fillory, there is this spring that heals. If we could go there...," Quentin mumbled. Everyone exchanged looks.
"How do we go to Fillory?"
"We can ask Eliza or the Dean. I think they know a way," Quentin informed. There was something mysterious about Eliza, but I wasn't sure what it was yet. She knew something about the Beast that she wasn't telling us.
I got up, stretching. "Well, what are we waiting for?" It wasn't like Penny had all the time in the world. This was somewhat my fault. Or maybe I was being silly. I wasn't sure, only that I felt guilty for dating Mike, and not knowing he was some kind of evil.
"I'll go. It's better if I go alone." Quentin looked around, waiting for anyone to disagree.
Nobody did.
He left. While Alice used magic to fix Penny's room, Margo and I went back to the hospital ward, where Penny was.
"How is he? Can we fix him?" Margo asked the doctor.
"Not good. We've tried everything. He's been out of it for about twenty minutes or so." The doctor left us after a shrug. They'd been trying their own magic, but nothing was working. The Virgo blade was a magical blade. It was killing him in a grotesque way.
Like I said, life wasn't fair. And there was nothing I could do about it. Margo and I sat on a couch, waiting.
After an hour, Quentin, with Julia and Alice, came back with a smile, holding a button.
"You're late, and why the hell are you smiling like that?"
"It's the button from the books. Eliza knew where to find it. It was in a house that Jane Chatwin hid. And-"
"Boring...What does it do?" I sighed, trying to show how bored I really was. When Quentin started with his Fillory bullcrap, he didn't want to shut up.
"It helps us travel. We can take Penny to Fillory and use the Spring water to heal him."
"Assuming it's all real."
"It is real," he responded in defense. Alice put her hand to his shoulder, trying to calm him. Julia grimaced at me.
"Then lead the way." I crossed my arms, tapping my foot.
"We need someone to carry Penny." I looked around, finding a wheelchair. Using telekinetic magic, I moved Penny from his bed to the wheelchair in a few seconds.
"Done. Let's go."
"Hold each other's hands." We all listened to him. Alice put her hand on Penny while I put mine on the wheelchair, just in case it decided to stay behind. Quentin took a deep breath and pressed the button.
At first, I felt nothing happen, then my body buzzed and I saw stars. After shaking my head, my vision changed from a hospital room to a forest. The trees lined everywhere.
"Where the hell are we?" I asked.
"Fillory...it's real," Quentin sighed, looked around like a speechless kid too amazed for words.
"Where's the spring, genius," Margo said. She felt out of place. Margo was a classy woman, she didn't belong in a darkened forest.
"We should be close to it." He started walking, and we followed. Alice pushed the wheelchair with Penny on it. It was difficult in the grassy area so she struggled a little. We had to keep an eye on her so she didn't get too behind.
"Are we lost?" I asked.
"No. It's right around here. I know it." He kept walking, hurrying up.
"You hear something?" He asked. "It sounds like water flowing." I stopped walking, listening intently. I heard it then.
"Yes. It's right here somewhere!" I said, realizing he was right.
"Just in time!" The voice made us all freeze. What the hell. I squinted, trying to see a figure in darkness.
"You came a little soon, but that was to be expected, given the situation. I mean, you fell right into the trap..and so easily." He moved closer and the little sun that was left revealed a man in a suit with moths covering his face.
The Beast.
We were unprepared. We were no match against him like this.
"Well, we might as well get this over with." And without any warning, he pointed his hand towards Quentin and he fell over, choking. Alice prepared to attack him with a spell, but he threw her against a tree, breaking her back. She fell to the ground and didn't move.
Everything was happening so fast I wasn't sure what was happening. Was this a nightmare? Did I drink too much? Am I seeing stuff?
"Margo?" I asked, afraid for her life. She was looking for the button as the Beast fought Julia. Julia was holding her own, but I doubt it would last long.
I looked at Penny.
A thought came to mind. Penny was a traveler. He just needed to be healed. I quickly ran to him, grabbing and throwing him over my shoulder.
As I struggled to make my way to where I suspected the spring was, Margo turned her phone flashlight on, hoping to find the button like that. We were in a forest, with grass. There was no way she would find it. We didn't even see where Quentin dropped it.
"Just help me!" I yelled at her. She looked up then shook her head. She went back to looking for it. I carried Penny until I heard the rush of water, it getting louder the closer I got.
It was too dark to really see much, but the water still sparkled, giving me guidance. I reached the edge and pulled Penny down.
I grabbed Penny and walked right into the spring. I released most of his body into the spring, with only his head above the water and waited.
I heard a scream and froze.
It was Margo, I could just feel it. Before I could do anything else, my body shuddered.
Something was wrong. I started to feel like I was burning, my whole body starting to convulse.
Unable to help Penny, I let him go to get out of the water. He sunk to the bottom of the spring. I barely made it out before I collapsed.
I saw a figure, but was convulsing too much to care. The pain surrounded me, engulfing me.
"I see you've found my cursed spring," the Beast spoke, glee in his voice.
It was the last thing I heard.