Nine.
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↠ November 15: Lunch ↞
I hurried out the door, I was already calling the police at that point but no one was catching on what I was saying. I ended up hanging up, realising they weren't going to help me anyway. I heard that the person on the other line had talked about a person having to be missing for over twenty-four hours before they could start looking. They were, obviously, all stupid. I knew something was wrong, there was a crime scene in my fucking bathroom and no one was taking me seriously?
The police could go fuck themselves.
It felt like my lungs would explode due to the need of oxygen. Pure terror filled me as I searched the streets for my car, shaking uncontrollably. Once I found it, I sat down and tried to inhale deeply. I counted to then before I let the air out again. It was my anxiety tricks my therapist Kristen had taught me and usually, they would work but this time, they didn't help.
There was a tingling feeling that felt like numbness in my chest when I sped off in an extreme pace. I could hear the honks outside my car, telling me I was dangerously close to crash. I didn't care. In fact, I wouldn't mind crashing right about now. I felt like a complete asshole for letting her out of my sight.
I tried to go through our conversations, to see if she had mentioned anything about some kind of dangerous person to me. If she had mentioned about being in trouble to me. That, someone, was looking for her.
But nothing entered my mind of being out of the ordinary.
Her scream was on repeat in my head. I cursed myself for not getting inside the bathroom quicker, for being in panic at that moment that I must have completely lost my mind. It wasn't the way I should have reacted. I should've broken in quicker. It is my house, I should've known how to open the goddamn door and help her.
Whoever broke into the bathroom, hurt her. Her scream was deafening to me, the numb feeling in my chest only increased when I thought about it. I left her to suffer. All that blood, someone hurt her. In my own house.
My thoughts were brought back to reality when I heard a honk and a passenger that passed right in front of me scream through their car window, "Asshole!"
I nodded and agreed with them, feeling like that exact word. I could come up with so many disgusting words to call myself right about now. I wasn't a gentleman. I didn't save her when she needed me to. What kind of man was I? I should have saved her. This is all my fault. If I only would have broken in, perhaps I wouldn't be sitting in this car right now and she wouldn't have lost that much blood in my bathroom.
Whoever broke in must have known my house. It must be someone I know, that have figured out my house. Spied on her. Who would have known she was in there, at that exact moment? And knew that I didn't know how to open the bathroom door.
As quickly as I had reached the bar, I stepped outside while trying to see if there were other people there. It must have been my lucky day because when I walked in, I was met with a huge grin from the male bartender. Any other day that I would walk in here and see him, I would be disappointed. I think this may have been the only day that I was happy to see him.
"I need to speak to you!" I said as I jogged up to the bar's disk. I could sense all gazes towards me, everybody seeming extremely interrupted (in what I assumed were their heartbreak grieving) by my presence, "Is Bella here?"
He gave me a confused look and motioned with his hands to continue talking, "Bella...? What's her last name?"
I blinked a few times, realising I didn't know the answer to his question. I had been with this girl for slightly more than a week but still, I didn't even know her last name. It didn't take much for me to curse myself out again but I didn't have time to blame myself for things. All I was focused on was finding Bella.
"I don't know her last name," I rushed, an ignorant look coming over my face as I recognised this bartender to be wasting my time, "look you jerk, stop wasting my goddamn time, I need to talk to the boss about her. It's urgent!"
He rose an eyebrow and crossed his arms with a sudden look of attitude on his face, "You're speaking to him right now."
I froze, acknowledging my mistake instantly. Once again, all I could do was curse myself underneath my breath for always being so stupid. I tried to look genuine by giving him a slight tense smile, even though, everything I was doing was for show only, "I'm sorry."
"I don't remember hiring a Bella." He shrugged and continued picking up empty glasses people had left after themselves. He looked around the bar, his eyes searching for a familiar face. "I don't see any female around either."
I closed my eyes in frustration, "She works the night shift, usually."
His movements stopped as he looked deep in thought, almost a bit terrified all of a sudden, and then a short breath, "We close at ten pm each night, kid. You must have gotten the wrong bar."
I shook my head furiously, knowing that she was usually standing in the exact same place as he was right now, behind that desk and serving alcohol. I had not mistaken the bar because this was the bar I went to. This was the only bar in this neighbourhood that I had ever found. She used to be here.
I ran out of the bar again, bumping into an angry heartbroken man that was drinking his problems away and angrily tried to grab my jacket but missed. I thanked God for that. I didn't have time to deal with drunks right now, especially not when I had a girl to find.
I saw the blood, I saw everything.
I felt her yesterday. I felt her physically. I had sex with that woman. There is no way I was imagining that. She was real. I wasn't crazy. I swear I'm not crazy. I saw her, I saw the blood and the mess she left behind when whoever must have grabbed her from that window. I heard her scream, I heard her shout for help. She needed me and I wasn't there for her.
I am not crazy.
I was shaking as I opened the driver's door to the car, my muscles felt weaker than usual and I had a hard time focusing on anything but what had been real or not lately. It was like my brain played a movie for me, about myself, in my head. Yet, I couldn't figure out what was wrong. Something about this was off. Something about her was strange. If she didn't work at the bar, who was the woman who had served me alcohol all those months? I know I was there. I entered the bar, the bartender flirted with me and every other man in there. Right? It wasn't in my head, right?!
No, she was real.
But then again, no one had really been able to confirm her to me. She had never met anyone of my friends or team. I had always been alone around her. Maybe she was there to fulfil my loneliness? What if I only had been desperate these past few months?
No, she must be real.
I was conflicted on so many ways in my head. It felt like my head was about to exploded. I knew she wasn't in my imagination, she was real but I kept thinking about my past experiences with drugs and what they did to me and my mind. I've experienced a slow descent while coming in and out of cognizance. Sometimes I would see through delusions, but at other times they were all too real. I was extremely paranoid and one night I went completely insane and thought that evil spirits were invading my house. I was treated, in many ways and I was surely fine again. I hadn't experienced any problems ever since.
When I was depressed, I took heavy drugs. Heavy drugs that made me completely gone and out of my head. But it was impossible for that to be the reason I had found Bella. She was real. I wasn't on drugs anymore and I hadn't been since those situations occurred. This was different. Right? I had already been insane for a long time ago. I don't think I could take that again.
It was impossible for drugs to be the explanation to this. I swear I haven't taken anything.
I ended up in front of the police station. It was like I was plastered in my car seat because I fought my entire body to move but something was holding it back. I thought about calling my manager but ended up not doing so. He wouldn't understand. He would call Kristen, force her to take me into the rehab centre. I wasn't safe if I called him. I wasn't safe if I called anyone.
It took a lot of courage to drag my body out of the car. It almost felt impossible. I could feel hands on my chest, pushing me back to the seat as I tried harder each moment to move. They felt like her hands.
Once I made it out, I started to slowly walk to the entrance. It was heavy to take those steps towards the entry because I could feel a weight trying to stop me. Someone was pushing me to another direction and for a second I thought I saw Bella in a window.
I blinked quickly and she wasn't there anymore.
Maybe I was going insane again?
I tried to gulp away the feeling of how delusional I may have been. With each step I took, I started questioning myself more and more. Was it even a good idea to go to the police? They told me before a person had to be missing for certain hours before I could report it. When I opened the door and took my first steps into the police station, I knew it was already too late.
"You look pale," An unfamiliar woman at the front desk commented. She smiled at me tenderly as I walked up to her, "Are you okay, sweetheart?"
"I'm looking for Bella..." It was my last piece of energy to speak. I was breathing heavily and each movement I made had a stronger impact on me. It felt like I was going to faint at any point now. I was certain I wouldn't take much longer. I couldn't come up with a reason to why I was feeling this way. "She's gone... I can't find her..."
"Bella?" The woman questioned, "I'm sorry I can not help you further with a first name only."
"I don't know her last name," I repeated. I was beginning to get frustrated with the fact that I hadn't asked for her full name. Apparently, you needed to know that information about a person when you had to find them. I stared at the wall, then slowly mumbling a whisper, "I think I'm insane."
The woman looked terrified. "Sir?"
"I can take over from here," another voice was heard and I felt a hand grab my arm, dragging me towards another room. I looked to see a short haired man pushing me into a strange room. The entire time, I was beginning to get paralysed. All I could do was walk along, my mouth had been sealed against my own will but no one had really touched me. I was doing it to myself. It was like old times. Am I really insane again?
I didn't have the chance to react what was happening before the door got shut behind of me. Looking around, I noticed the walls were made of concrete. The room was elongated yet small. Two doors and a mirror. No sunlight and without other human beings. I was alone.
I was isolated.
I knew this was only going to make things worse so I, immediately, started banging on the door. "Open!" I got no response, which wasn't shocking. It didn't make me lose hope. "This is all a huge misunderstanding!"
Could they do this? Did they have the rights to do this? Could they really lock up a random person only because they assumed themselves that they were going crazy? I don't think they had the rights to do this. I began to yell that I needed my lawyer here.
I was trying to get attention from someone by punching my fist on one of the two doors, that I completely missed out when the second door opened. It wasn't until I heard a voice speak to me that I froze, turned around and looked aggressively at the girl standing in front of me.
She's not real.
"How does it feel?" Bella tilted her head and scrunched her nose up. I leant on the door before I slid down it slowly, putting my head in my hands as I began to rock myself back and forth.
I kept mumbling the same sentence, over and over, "You're not real."
"How does it feel?" She repeated. I didn't know what she was referring to but eventually, I stood up and within seconds I was pushing her up against the wall. My hands went around her throat and I pushed, seeing the girl struggle to get free from the grip underneath me. She was shouting. I kept pushing as I began to yell that 'she's not real' in her face, my voice rising higher each time I said the sentence. "Stop! Help!"
I could see the tears forming in her eyes as she put her two hands on top of mine, trying to push me off her. I was breathing heavily, my chest pumping up and down rapidly. It didn't take long before I felt someone yank me off her harshly, a security. Bella gave me a shocked expression.
"She's not real," I repeated again. Bella took a few steps back while the security guard put me down again. I was looking at her aggressively and I swear she was suddenly smirking. "She's only in my imagination. She's not real."
"You should go," The police told Bella and I gave him a confused look. Was I imagining him too? Why was he speaking to her? Could he see her, too? I tried to get some words out of my mouth but they walked out and disappeared. Once again, she was gone and I was left with questions.
What was happening?
"See what we have here," a woman who was wearing a police uniform entered the room instead. I shut my eyes, knowing I was in trouble judging by the look in her eyes. "You are under arrest for statutory rape of a minor. You only made it worse for yourself a few moments ago, back there."
I blinked, trying to process what was happening. It was like my mind couldn't keep up with what she was saying and I had to hear it again, "What did you say?"
"You had sex with a minor, you need to serve your punishment." I could imagine her smirking at me. She was enjoying this. It was then it hit me. She's the woman who arrested me the last time I was in trouble with the cops. I had an attitude back then, I didn't fuck with her. She's finally getting to see me struggle. I shook my head and mumbled that I hadn't done anything like that. "Did you or did you not have sexual intercourse with Bella Richards?"
I was completely lost for words that I didn't even realise I could now finally know her last name. Instead, I bowed my head in shame, "I did."
"Turn around."
I barely had the time to do what she said before I felt the cold metal handcuffs touch my wrists. A loud, huge sigh left my lips and I felt her push me towards the door. She was talking but I had no idea of what she was saying. I didn't listen. I didn't want to listen.
On the way out, I saw Bella from the corner of the hallway, grinning at me and this time, I knew I had been right the entire time.
She was real.
And not only that but she had scammed me.
Her words from our chess game popped up into my head and I cursed myself for not thinking it through, for not being able to figure it out. I had been thinking highly of someone who had been playing this entire time. I had been playing a game with the devil, without knowing. She had been evil and unreliable this whole time.
"The game started a long time ago."
I suddenly realised that I wasn't the insane one.
It was Bella.
//
Can y'all believe this was the last chapter of Checkmate? Well almost... there's one more left which has Bella's POV (finally!) in it and you'll see a bit more into her brain, I guess you could say.
You'll find out exactly what happened and all your questions will be answered (hopefully) in the next chapter... which will be posted in a few hours only ;)
Other than that, wow, this went on pretty fast. I've been publishing it for a week think? Shit, time flies. Anywho, I hope you've enjoyed this story even though it may have taken a bit of a... turn? for y'all??
if you would have paid attention, i've been throwing out clues here and there at least three times a chapter, lmfao. No one really picked up on them but i'm glad y'all didn't, it wouldn't be as fun for me as a writer that way. llolololool ok love you guys
i'll see u in a few hours with the last chapter of checkmate!!!!!!!
many hugs and kisses,
maybelline