Hours later, Kate sat typing away at her laptop in the library. Shopping with her mother had actually turned out to be a lot of fun and diverted her attention away from dwelling on the previous night's vision. She had not only found an amazing gown for the wedding, but also a killer dress for her night out tomorrow. Her mother had approved of the formal dress, but had frowned at the other getup. The black asymmetrical dress hugged her curves and featured a metallic overlay design. She bought some bangles to accessorize the sleeveless arm and a new pair of earrings. Her mother complained about the length, but restrained herself from asking what corner Kate planned to be working the next night. She knew the outfit advertised her desperation, but she was that determined to rid Jared from her brain.
The idea she might have another vision of him freaked her out. She knew her version of the nine circles of hell would be to have to watch him and Nikki get it on over and over again. No one should have to be exposed to that kind of torture. Of course, she lamented, this would be the type of vision she'd have. She couldn't have lucked out and simply saw him solo in the shower.
She was relieved he had yet to call or text her. It was close to five in the afternoon and she was hoping he might turn out to be a no show. It would make her freaking year if he found Cori and no longer needed her assistance on the case. In the meantime, she had no clue how to act in front of him. Her emotions were transparent most of the time and she was sure her discomfort would be obvious. Shaking her head, she decided to return her concentration back to her paper on James Joyce.
About half an hour later, a cough startled her. She looked up and saw Jared in front of her with the smile that usually instantaneously melted her. He was changed out of his standard shirt and tie uniform and wore a short-sleeved blue polo shirt and a pair of jeans. His ebony hair was damp and she briefly thought back to her wish for a shower vision. Thankfully, the image of him and Nikki quickly pushed it away and she was repulsed by him once again.
He held a stack of papers in his hands. "Sorry if I sneaked up on you. You looked really intent on what you were doing."
"Yeah, I guess I was..." She shrugged without finishing her sentence and he took a seat uninvited in the chair across from her. Without hesitation, she prompted. "Are those the pictures of the cars?"
"Yes," he replied.
"Well, let me see them."
He gave her a startled glance as she reached across the table and grabbed them out of his hand. Silently, he stared at her as she shuffled through the photos. She stopped at one and closely inspected each detail.
After a resolute nod, she passed the paper to him. "This is it."
"The Ford Taurus? Are you sure?"
"Positive. The color matches, too. It was a dark shade of green, but definitely had a metallic sheen," she explained. She crooked her body away from him and resumed typing without another word to him.
"That's great, I'll let the other detectives know," he remarked. After a brief pause, he inquired, "So, what are you working on?"
"A paper on James Joyce's Ulysses," she answered shortly. "Doubt they teach that one in cop school." She hoped he would take the hint and leave. The urge to throttle him was growing more insistent with each passing second.
Jared looked taken aback. Typically, her tone was teasing with him and she discerned he picked up on the malice in her words. "Everything ok with you?"
She gave him a bored look. "Yup, I'm fine."
He didn't reply, but only sat there gawking at her with his head tilted. She couldn't even look him in the face. As they spoke, her mind kept replaying the soft porn scene from the previous evening. She was equally sickened by his and Nikki's words echoing around in her head. It was humiliating to think about how he was only being nice to her because he felt sorry for her.
Stupidly, she had thought he actually liked her—albeit platonically. It made her furious to think of him befriending her only because she was psychic. He was the one to extend this proposed offer of friendship. If he wanted to keep their relationship professional, he should've never said he was trying to be her friend. A part of her had even hoped maybe after the case was over, he would still keep in touch with her. Is this what she should expect out of life? Never being able to be close to anyone in fear of the person having an ulterior motive?
She knew her rage was clear on her face by the sudden way he got to his feet. Jared held his hand out to her. "Study break time, you're coming with me."
"Huh?"
"Come on, let's go. We're taking a ride," he commanded.
"Sorry, no can do. Really have to work on this paper." Kate shooed him off without turning away from her laptop screen.
"Stop pouting and get your stuff together. I'll have you back in less than half an hour." Not waiting for her reply, he began to pile her books into her messenger bag.
"What? Are you using your cop voice on me now? I'll go, but this is police harassment I hope you know," she grumbled.
Reluctantly, she finished gathering up her things. Crossing her arms across her chest, Kate grudgingly followed him out of the library. Walking over to the Crown Victoria, he opened the passenger side door and gestured for her to get in. When he entered, she shifted her body as far away from him as possible and gazed moodily out of the window.
Jared made an attempt at conversation. "Do you want to tell me what's going on or should I guess? Did you have a vision? Was it about Cori?"
"No," she said emphatically, shaking her head.
He sighed but did not try to converse any further. A part of her wanted to shock him by simply blurting out what she saw last night. It would be extraordinarily easy to make him see what a freak she truly was. Who would want to spend time around anyone who could dig into their personal thoughts? A person who has the ability to spy on their most intimate moments and know their darkest secrets?
Maybe she should remain perpetually single. Everyone had skeletons in their closets and wouldn't she be constantly let down every time she would get close to someone and find out theirs?
They drove for approximately five minutes before pulling into a park. It was one of the larger parks in town and covered over three hundred acres. It had two separate playground facilities, a large pond, tennis courts and dozens of trails. Kate gave him a questioning look.
"There's a brown paper bag in the backseat, could you grab it?" he requested.
"Why? Did you take me to a drug deal?" she asked sarcastically, reaching for the bag.
Ignoring her sarcasm, he began to walk away. Obediently, she followed him while carrying the bag. He stopped at the edge of the pond a few yards away and held his hand out. Dutifully, she handed over the bag while sending him her best confounded look.
Reaching in, he removed a large chunk of bread. He broke off a piece and threw it into the water. A nearby group of ducks grew excited and began to glide over to the water where it had fallen. A cacophony of excited quacks filled the air.
"You took me to feed the ducks?" she asked incredulously. Before he could answer, she persisted. "You know that it's like totally illegal, right? I think there is even a sign warning of a huge fine if you're caught. Since you're a cop, doesn't this set a bad example?"
"Shhh, you're scaring the ducks away," he said and handed her a piece of stale bread.
"It's also against the laws of nature. Feeding them affects how they migrate and also can pollute the water. You should be ashamed of yourself," she admonished.
"You're ruining the Zen feeling of feeding the ducks," he said.
She rolled her eyes and launched a few small pieces into the pond. She smiled as one of the ducks caught a piece in its bill.
His gray eyes gave her a sideways glance as he continued, "Whenever I feel stressed I come here. I guess it makes me feel like a kid again."
"And you brought me here because..." Kate prompted.
"I don't know, you seem upset, thought communing with nature might help," he said and gave an exaggerated shrug. "You can talk to me if something is bothering you."
She blew out a long breath. "Thanks for the offer." She stopped and turned to him. "You don't have to be nice to me. It's not a requirement or anything for me to help with Cori."
"Are you always like this?"
"Always like what?"
"You're defensive and combative. You seem to have a hard time trusting people," he explained.
"And what? I'm supposed to trust you?" she scoffed. She snatched the bag from his hand. Continuing to throw bread, she noticed the number of ducks coming over to them multiplied. "I don't think I've trusted anyone completely since I became sick," she admitted warily.
He nodded and sensed she didn't want to elaborate on her trust issues. "You never told me why you were so sick. The paper said you had an infection?"
Kate shifted uncomfortably. "It was actually meningitis. The doctors guessed living in the college dorms was one of the reasons I got sick. You know, close quarters and all that. It happened sort of suddenly and I didn't even feel very ill at first. Next thing I know, I'm in a hospital and a week of my life is gone."
"Do you remember anything else from when you were unconscious? Besides the vision of Matt?" he probed.
"What, like a white light? An angel in a meadow meeting me?" Kate shook her head. "No, the rest is pretty much a blank. I kind of wish something like that did happen. Maybe I received some sort of explanation for why I see these images and I can't remember." Talking about when she almost died was difficult and it provoked her to change the subject quickly. "What's with the casual attire? No work today?"
"I worked for a couple of hours this morning, ran some errands and got the car info I gave you at the library."
"You look good in normal clothes—generally your work outfits look like JCPenney rejects," she cracked. He was about to reply when something over her shoulder caught his eye.
Kate clumsily leaped forward when a large honking sound came from behind her. She turned around and faced two large geese waddling straight towards her. Their eyes fixated on the bag in her hands and they came at her like they were out for blood. Kate shrieked and began a mad dash as they quickly made a beeline after her. They continued to chase her until she dropped the bag and took shelter in a nearby gazebo. With viciousness, the geese tore at the bag and devoured the contents inside. As she tried to calm her breathing, she looked around for Jared. He was bowled over in laughter.
He made his way towards her. "That was classic," he laughed and mimicked her wild hand gestures. "I wish I could've videoed it, I would have gotten at least a million hits on YouTube."
"Ha-ha, very funny," she drawled and socked his arm as he took a seat next to her on the bench in the gazebo. After catching her breath, she gave him a sideways glance. "Sorry about my strangeness. I did have a vision last night that bothered me."
He opened his mouth to interject, but Kate held up her hand to stop him. "It didn't have anything to do with Cori and I really don't want to talk about it."
"Kate, I know you find it hard to believe, but I do want to be your friend. If these visions are bothering you, it might not hurt to talk about it."
"I'm good, honestly. Anyway, it's not like this is my first rodeo," she said with a shrug.
She wrapped her arms across the front of her body and ran her hands up and down her arms. Her tank top and shorts didn't conceal the goose pimples that erupted over her arms and legs. The sky was beginning to cloud over and the wind was steadily picking up. Kate didn't know if the chill came from her past memories or the abrupt change in the weather.
"You mean seeing Matt Spencer? Or the other letters you received? What were those cases like?" he questioned while she tried to not focus on the feel of his leg against her. It was hard not to pay attention to the heat emanating from him against her bare leg.
Sitting in the gazebo suddenly made the conversation very intimate. It was making her feel sort of breathless and erasing her feelings of resentment towards him. She could not understand why she couldn't just turn off this disastrous attraction.
"The strangest thing about Matt Spencer was I never saw him before and I still had a vision of him while I was in the coma. Since then, I've never had images of anyone who I have not seen or met." She never understood why Matt was her first vision and how she suddenly woke up psychic. Her family had no connection with the Spencers and she was already in the coma when his father took him from the school playground. One of her greatest hopes was that she'd be able to solve the mystery surrounding the origin of her second sight.
Opening up to him was awkward. Her journal was the only place she really let down her guard and shared any of her psychic experiences. "Anyway, one time I received a letter from this husband desperately looking for his wife. She never returned home from work six months earlier and he had two young children who constantly cried for their mother. He sent me her photo and I connected with her that same evening. She had left her family for a man she met online. She used a different name and lived with the man out of state. Her love for this virtual stranger superseded her love for her husband and children.
"What was I supposed to do with this information? Would it be better for her kids to know she lived and abandoned them? Or let them assume something horrible had happened to her and that was the reason she hadn't returned to them?" Her tone grew more anxious and she didn't dare a look at him.
"What did you do?"
"Nothing. I'm not God—who was I to decide this family's fate? Yet, I have to be wrecked by this decision for the rest of my life. My point is, this is the type of garbage I deal with on a regular basis. I see things about others whether or not they want to keep the memory private. You can't be my friend because you leave yourself open to exposure. I have visions of the people in my life and most of them are things they likely don't want me to know," she persisted.
Her objective was to warn him off without having to divulge what she had seen the night before. He looked ready to interrupt and she held up her palm to silence him. "Do you want another example? I found out my father was having an affair before he left my mother. The best part was the vision confirmed what I already believed. The reason he left us was because he didn't know how to handle the scandal surrounding the story on me being psychic."
"I'm sure that's not true. We all blame ourselves for shit that really isn't our fault," he said and stilled. He admitted softly, "I blame myself for my parents dying."
She turned to him shocked. "What do you mean? Why?"
"I was very close with my parents—especially my mother. When I was seven, I had finally got up the nerve to sleep at a friend's house for the first time. Well, of course, I panicked once it came time to go to bed. I started crying and my friend's mother called my mom. My dad had taken her out for a romantic dinner. They left the restaurant to pick me up as soon as they received the call. A drunk driver hit them a few miles away from the restaurant."
His brow furrowed and Kate resisted the urge to reach for him. "If I wasn't such a momma's boy and I sucked it up and spent the night there—they'd still be alive today."
"Jared, you can't..." she whispered. "I mean, you know it wasn't your fault, right?"
He shook his head as if freeing his mind of any dark thoughts. He looked at her intently. "Yes, I understand now I can't take the blame for it. That's my point. You didn't choose to be psychic, it just happened. Your father had an affair because of his own shit, not because of you."
"What if I see inside your head, Jared? How can you spend time with me when I could see some of your most personal moments?" she demanded.
Looking behind him at the sky, she noticed more storm clouds gathering and suspected a downpour would be arriving any minute. However, she had no desire to leave this spot. She had never opened up like this before with anybody. It made her understand her feelings for Jared were more than simply lust for his utter gorgeousness. His listening skills and openness was making it like child's play to find his way into her guarded heart.
"Kate, I'm willing to take that risk. I have nothing to hide. You're not going to scare me off. I don't say things lightly. When I told you we could be friends, I absolutely meant it."
His tone was sincere and Kate felt suddenly very vulnerable. The anxiety of the past week began to boil over inside of her. She tried to push it down, but felt tears spring to her eyes. Between the tormenting images of Cori and her developing feelings for Jared—she wanted to get the hell off this emotional roller coaster. Pathetically enough, a sniffle escaped. Before long, full blown sobs were erupting from her.
He opened his arms and she practically catapulted into them. She rested her head against his chest and focused on the sound of his breathing. She loved the feeling of being held by him. He emanated a strong sense of calm and she reveled in how secure she felt at that moment.
"I'm a complete and utter head case," she mumbled into his shirt. "You must think I'm the biggest spaz in the world."
She felt his chest rumble with laughter. "You're not a spaz. I couldn't imagine having no control over your brain and seeing random thoughts from others."
It was arduous, but she pried herself from his arms. "Sorry about unloading on you. This probably breaches your professional code of ethics or something like that. Sorry if I'm putting you in an awkward position."
"It's fine, Kate. Like I said, I want us to be friends. Friends hug, right?"
She didn't know if he was trying to convince her or himself. The tension she'd noted from the last time at the diner resurfaced as he visibly stiffened.
He stood up and reached out a hand to help her to her feet. "It looks like a massive downpour is going to start any second. I should get you back to the library. Call me if you want to talk about anything."
"Thanks," she said and managed a smile.
It was kind of him to offer, although there was no way in hell she was ever telling him about last night's vision. Despite his proclamations, she had a feeling he wouldn't be too fond of the fact that she saw him in his underwear.