The trailer is above in the media section
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Blood seizes my lungs before I could suck in oxygen. I can feel them crumbling under my skin with each shaky breath I take. My arms shoot out from under me, and I take hold of a jagged pebble that scrapes my palm. A shriek of pain escapes my lips, and I toss the pebble away. Trying again, I shoot my hands out and grasp onto the cool and hard gravel. I use it as a leverage and claw using both hands, clamping my bare thighs on the coal ground as I move.
I try to stand but the moment I try, a ripping sensation halts me, and another ghastly howl of pain escapes my pruning lungs. I've broken my ribs, I can feel it. Can feel the shards of bone swimming in my chest. And I've punctured my lungs. I didn't pay much attention in Health class, but I know I'm dying. My vision is blinking in and out. I can faintly hear an ambulance, but my ears, too, join my vision and shut off, descending and collapsing against my eardrums.
"Liv," a strangled and small voice leaps through the air, bouncing in the air before smacking into my ears.
I try to speak, try to yell, scream - anything. But I cannot say anything. My tongue feels heavy and my body limps to the side. The crimson taste of metal settles on my tongue, and I swallow it, biting at the bile riling furiously against my chest.
I shift my head and come into focus with the overturned car, and then I spot him, and then I'm screaming, and then I'm crawling over to him, and then I'm tugging at his seatbelt but I just can't get it loose. I must have been here yanking and screaming out my almost non-existent lungs for hours, before arms encircle my waist and yanks me out of the car. And then I'm screaming more, and I'm put in the back of some vehicle, and I spot my parents. They're being checked out by men in white shirts with bright flashlights that pierce through the darkness of the night. And then I hear an explosion. It's bright and furious and wholly evil. It's all too much, and I pass out, his screams mingling around in my head.
I shoot up in my bed, desperate to escape the nightmare that was unfortunately really a memory. His screams linger in my mind and trap me with a crippling feeling in my chest. I groan and sit back against the cherry oakwood of the bed's headboard and take a deep breath. With my eyes closed I see flashes that last a second. I'm gripping my silk duvet so tightly, my knuckles turn purely white. And my heart's pounding as if desires to escape my body. I just want it to stop. It takes a while, but when my heart settles and my hands stop shaking, I let out a deep breath.
"You've got this, Liv," I tell myself, forcing a smile on my sweat beaded face. "What is today? Open your eyes. Look around. Spot an item that tells you the answer. Find it." I have to coach myself to truly settle the anxiety that desires to consume me whole.
My eyes fly open, and I look around my room. Cherry oakwood study desk, ivory shaggy rug, wardrobe - everything seems to be in the ordinary. Except one thing that stands out among the rest. The acceptance letter sent to me by my dream school - Penn State University. Around the framed letter that is the key to my future is a single strip of fairy lights pinned into the cream walls, surrounding the perimeter. It shines like a beacon, and it lulls me out of my bed to stand in front of it. I stare at the enchanting display I assembled myself for this exact moment with a mixture of awe and satisfaction.
For my whole life, practically, I've been preparing for the day I left for college, but not just any school. Every challenging assignment, all the extracurricular (and tiring) classes were necessary tools in making sure I attend this school. My parents attended Penn State, and look where they are now. My father works as a judge in the Supreme Court while my mother is one of the top surgeons in New York City, and I hope to follow in their successful footsteps. I want to have the title of 'One of the top...', I want to wield a power position, I want to make them proud. And by going to this prestigious college, which is one of the hardest in America to get into, I'm on the right path of doing just that.
A knock on my door drags me out of my thoughts. "Come in," I say, turning around, my hands oddly in fists. I guess anxiety is still coursing through me, but if asked I could chalk it up to my first day at college. Sane teens are often nervous about their first day of the rest of their lives, right?
The door opens and reveals Louise, the housekeeper. She essentially watches over me whenever my parents are forced to leave the state for work endeavors. Although, I don't do anything worthy of having her practically babysit me. Most of the times she finds me in my bedroom with my face either in classic literature or in a textbook. The only delinquent activity worth her watching over me is when I lie about going to the library to study, when really I go to the bookstore to take advantage of the surplus money my parents leave for me. Besides that I'm as clean as a whistle.
"You better start getting dressed," she tells me in that calming voice of hers I grew up loving.
"Okay." I nod and let my eyes stare at the floor.
"I see someone's been day dreaming again," she hums as she enters the room. I smile and snuggle into her side when she wraps an arm around me. Her glowing caramel skin is like my personal heater, warming me at skins' first touch. I've always adored her hugs. They consumed me with warmth and provided comfort that could evaporate any anxiety. I never received many hugs like this from my mother, but it wasn't her fault she had to build her career to where it is today. And where I lacked in comfort, Louise made up in heart-warming gestures that told me 'you're not alone,' "But you do know that in less than a few hours, you will be living that daydream as reality, right?"
I suck in a deep breath and whisper, "Can you come with me?"
She chuckles, and I reverberate as she does. "You know I can't come along with you, sweetie. You've got to do this on your own."
A childish groan sounds through me, and I hug her a tad tighter. "But I don't want to separate from you. You're my rock. How am I going to pull through without my rock there making sure I don't lose my grip and plummet to my death?"
She laughs so much it causes me to smile at the sound she makes. "Oh, honey, you will not 'plummet to your death,' You're just being dramatic, as usual."
"But what if I do?" my voice is a whisper.
"Liv..." she says, her voice sweet like honey. She pulls back from my chest and pats my cheeks with both hands. Her eyes, electric as the ocean, peer into my brown eyes, on the prowl for something only she can seek: the true meaning behind my slight reluctance in leaving her behind. I look away before she could find whatever it was she was looking for. I'm nervous about what she'll say if she finds it, which she will do. She's Louise - she always finds whatever I push down, past the surface of my eyes. She often compares my eyes to the door to my soul, and Lord knows she's on the verge of demolishing that door. "What is going on in that mind of yours?"
"Nothing," I tell her.
She narrows her eyes and nudges her forefinger under my chin. "Tell me, child, or I'll have to drag it out of you, and I know you don't want that."
"Fine." I heave out a sigh and take a step back from her. I cross my arms and glance at the glowing frame. "I was just thinking: What if I don't succeed? I could get distracted and completely ruin my chance of living up to my parent's name. I don't want to disappoint them."
Lines of fine aging crease next to her thin, pink lips as she frowns. "How could you think of such a thing?"
"I don't know," I tell her honestly. "I just - I just don't want to be a failure. I want them to have something to look up to. I want them to look at me and go 'Olivia, we couldn't have been more proud of you. You're done all we could've asked for, and more,' I don't want them to have their hearts shattered, like when . . ." I stop myself from talking. Tears line my eyes, and I step back once more, but she takes two steps forward and encases me using her arms.
"Don't you ever think that way again, you hear me?" she chastises me, and I nod. She shakes her head and adds, "I'm sorry, but please, don't believe something that could never be true. Your parents would be proud of you with any way you turn out: successful or not. Their hearts won't be shattered because you aren't capable of doing so. So drill that into this brilliant mind of yours, and get ready so you can put it into work and make them proud."
I sniffle. "Okay, Louise."
"Good." She hums and pats my back for a bit, before pulling back and showing me her teary eyes. "Now get dressed already. I'm certain your planner is fuming with anger because of all this time you're wasting blubbering about."
I flicker my eyes to the clock hanging above my study desk, and gasp, looking back at her with frightened eyes. "You're right! Oh geez, I'm going to be late!" I turn out of her arms and bound into the bathroom next door. Louis' soft chuckles are cut off abruptly when I close the door to the bathroom.
After twisting on the pipe, I decide to brush my teeth and strip myself as the water heats. I slip my iron pills, for my anemia, on my tongue and swallow a glass of water. I begrudgingly analyze the hideous bags that hang under my eyes, all due to my inability to get a good night's sleep, but that isn't anything new. Ever since that night, I haven't been able to truly receive sleep.
I enter the shower before I pull myself back into a state of painful nostalgia. The water is hot - it's just what I need. It pounds on my body and wraps me with a coat of heat. Steam billows into the air, enveloping the room in clouds of fog. As the water pours down onto my body, I revel in the tension that loosens under the intense setting. I feel a smile ghost my lips as I gently glide the soap across my chest. The longer I stand in here, receiving the therapeutic bristles of water slicing through my skin, the more I convince myself today will go as planned. I have the details written in my journal, so I don't have to worry.
I engrave this in my brain until I truly believe it.
After the shower, I get dressed. My clothes don't scream for attention but they don't stay silent, either. I slip into a royal blue cut off dress with floral prints, then slide into a pair of blue flats. Nervously glancing at the clock, I decide against doing anything with my hair like curling, and encase my brunette locks into a low ponytail. I do, however, have a little time to apply small bits of makeup. I swipe on a few coats of eyeliner, glide on glossy lipgloss, and quickly swipe on blush.
"Olivia." I hear Louise call my name as I am checking over my planner for the umpteenth time since last night.
"I'm coming!" I holler back. I place the mini-planner into my denim shoulder bag and take a deep breath. I grab the handles of my luggages and take a step toward the open door, but stop to look around. I'll miss this room. My eyes wander left and right; first landing on my desk where I'd spend the entire night studying, then stopping at the bay window where I'd have my head basically planted inside a novel. I let myself be sucked into a loss of my old life for a little while. But after realizing there is a schedule and the little time I have, I shake my head as if to rid my silly thoughts, and continue leaving my room.
The front doors are wide open. Outside, an SUV awaits. It saddens me that both of my parents are unable to drop me off and cry their goodbyes, like normal parents, but I understand that their busy - it's for the right reasons. I wish Louise could come with me, even if it's just for the trip ahead, but she has to stay back, too, and watch over the house until my parents come back home.
Louise puts a wrinkled hand on my shoulder, and I suddenly realize I've just been staring outside for a long while. She turns her head to me, ocean blue eyes soft, lips curled into a frown. "Are you ready, honey?"
I crease my eyebrows and look back outside. The black steel gate doors are jarred apart, the SUV waiting at the foot of it, ready to whisk me away at the hands of a chauffeur I barely know. And I nod. My going away feels impersonal and almost like I'm just being patted on the behind and shooed away without anyone to hold my hand, but isn't that what adulthood is like? Your ability to accomplish anything without having to look back for a parent figure watching your every move, worrying about you? I've read that it's exactly like this, and I nod again but this time with a smile conquering my lips.
"Yes, I am."
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I know this chapter wasn't all that exciting or eventful in any way, but it does portray a bigger picture, which you will see altogether when everything ties in at the end. This was more like an introduction to Liv, one of the main characters, and shows how she thinks and believes she should act.
But other than that, I hope you enjoyed it. Please vote and comment (I'd appreciate feedback - it's like a writer's fuel and is just amazing to see)!
© All Rights Reserved 2017 Allison White