Love is a fickle thing. The day set for my handfast with Lord Einarr was fast approaching, and I couldn't make head or tail of my feelings. With me he was attentive and charming, and each morn a new gift found its way to my pillow. Most of the time it was of little value, yet very thoughtful. He kept surprising me and often made me laugh, the pinnacle of it being when I unwrapped a small dragon, carved in floated wood and painted. Things like this made it hard not to like him.
Then he would join his men, his stern face would return, and I'd recall the hardships I had suffered by his fault. Shame and guilt would flood me for giving in.
The child growing inside me added to my confusion. It was his, and I couldn't reject its father.
I was torn, my lover and my worst enemy being one and the same.
The lack of sleep didn't help to clear my mind. I tossed and turned at night, unable to find a comfortable position, and when I did, I soon was awoken by the kick of a little foot. The bearn was restless, uncaring of the time. And so was I.
Lord Einarr was growing frustrated. He had sent messengers to every farm within two riding days in search of Hrefna, and they had returned empty handed. The woman seemed to have vanished in thin air. It was the end of March, too early to look further as snow still blocked the mountain passes.
While he was seething, I wasn't bothered. As long as she was away, I felt safe. For what harm could an escaped slave do, alone in the wilderness. She might have died from cold and hunger. I shivered. It could have been my fate, had I persisted at my foolish attempts to escape.
The first guests had arrived, those who lived far and didn't want to miss the celebration. Within a couple of days, the houses were crowded. I was running back and forth, fetching more blankets, helping with the preparation of food, and trying to make everyone feel welcome. My feet were sore and swollen and I dreaded the coming week of festivities. Had these people been Christians, they would have observed Lent and fasted five days a week. It would have made life simpler. Then again, no wedding would have taken place before Easter.
I had begged Lord Einarr to make this a smaller affair, arguing that it wasn't wise to deplete our larders before summer. I used to be in charge of my father's house, and I feared that if the weather turned foul, we would go hungry before the crops could grow. He had laughed at me, reminding me that he was a wealthy Godi.
"We have more than enough, Sunngifu, I saw to it. It is our honor and duty to be hospitable, and in my position, I would lose my reputation if I didn't throw a memorable feast. My people expect nothing less, and those who are lacking food will seize the occasion to gorge themselves on my expense. They will be grateful and will reward me with their loyalty. The more followers I have, the stronger my position at the Althing. And the safer my family is," he added, stroking my cheek.
"Do not worry, I have enough silver to buy anything you'll need from the traders, when they'll be back. Neither you nor my son will ever lack anything."
I nuzzled his palm, the warm and callous skin pleasantly tickling me. "I never doubted it, my lov... Lord," I blurted.
His lips found my forehead, and stretched in a smile. "Besides, it is a rare occasion. I have no intention of marrying again for a long, long time..."
I stepped back and tucked my fists on my hips. "So you do intend to marry again!" My anger was feigned, of course, but it was all I could do to avoid melting at his feet.
He rose to the challenge, dragging me back to him and kissing my neck. "Only if you died before me, and I forbid you to. I would hate to have to punish you so you'd better heed my warning..." he whispered in my ear, nipping it.
"Ouch! I'll get you some food, you bear! Stop eating me!" I struggled weakly against him to emphasize my point.
"It is your fault for being so delicious. And you don't always say that..."
"Oh you..." This time, I punched his arm, and he ran away bent over in mirth. How outrageous! Yet I couldn't help the silly grin splitting my face.
I had long lost it when the evening came. My whole body ached by the time I sat on the bed, rubbing my back and wondering how I was going to reach my sore ankles. I was contorting without success when Lord Einarr entered. My stomach was in the way.
"Let me do this, Sunngifu..." He removed my shoes and socks and took one of my feet in his hands.
I fell back on the mattress, moaning in relief. His fingers kneaded my sole with just the right amount of pressure, it felt heavenly. He seemed amused by the sounds he coaxed from me as he progressed to my calf, kissing my knee before switching to my other leg.
"Where did you learn to do this? I might refuse to wed you unless you promise to do so every day."
He chuckled lightly. "You cannot refuse, so I will hold this as a reward, for good behavior."
My aim was getting better, as the pillow hit him square in the face. "Now you'll have to treat my back or I'll never forgive you!"
"I intended to. Roll onto your side, little dreki, for I doubt you can lie on your front..."
"Are you calling me fat? You are bent on hurting my feelings tonight. Bad bear!"
"And you are being childish, mother of my child. Can a man not wish for peace in his chamber?" He punctuated his words with a kiss on my cheek, and I caught his neck in the crook of my arm, taking him prisoner.
"My mood is very volatile at the moment, my Lord. You can blame your bearn for it. Yet I am grateful for your attentions. Let me show you how much..."
A while later, as I lay in his arms, my worries floated back to the surface. "Can you guess how many will be attending? We might be able to feed them, but what about housing? Will there be any other Lord? I do not wish them to find me wanting."
His hand brushed along my back. "Sigurd Godi should be here soon. He was the father of my previous wife, and my adviser after my father's death. We need to honor him. The other godar live on the other side of the mountain and will not get through. We will hold a banquet for them at the end of the summer."
I stiffened against him. This was a visit that could easily turn sour. "What if Sigurd Godi doesn't approve of our union? Has he given you any hint of his thoughts?"
Lord Einarr's fingers stilled and he frowned. "Nay, he hasn't. He merely accepted the invitation. Do not fret, Sunngifu, he has no reason to be hostile. I didn't divorce his daughter, she died. You did not cause her any grief. And while I value his alliance and friendship, I could afford losing them. It wouldn't be easy though, but you are worth it."
My lips found his chest and I nodded. "I hope no harm comes from this. I will have the guest room ready for him, and some valuable gifts. This might mellow him."
"It certainly will. Sleep well, Sunngifu. You'll need your strength tomorrow."
He was right. I woke up on the day before my wedding, panicked about the amount left to do. Lady Disaelfr helped, of course, but she left the brunt of the decisions to me. She would dispense advice as requested, and complete the tasks allotted to her. My skills as the future mistress of Lord Einarr's house were being tested and I was eager to succeed. It was my chance to prove myself worthy of my future position.
I requested Lady Disaelfr opinion regarding the most suitable present for our guest of honor. She had met him many times and would be familiar with his taste. I sent a servant to the trading post to purchase what she suggested, two exquisite glass vessels that would bring pride to his table. I had his room lit with beeswax candles and scented oil lamps, his bed made with our finest linen, rarest furs and silk duvet. And still I was concerned, afraid that I had forgotten something, and that he would take offense. What if he did? Would he break his long alliance with Lord Einarr for a dent in his pride? I knew the answer. He would. These men believe that a stain on their honor should be washed in blood, as I had learned at my expense. He might wait a while, years even to exert his revenge, but he would. Eventually. And it would be my fault.
So I checked the room all over again, and dragged lady Disaelfr in to do same, waiting with baited breath until she pronounced it perfect. I nearly swooned when she did, such was my relief at her approval.
As it turned out, I had little more to do. I was told that most attendees would be coming and going over the week, no one overstaying the traditional three days of their welcome, and that they would sleep where they could, if at all. So it appeared that Sigurd Godi aside, I could leave the servants in charge. They were used to the task.