gunpowder and petals

first attempt

so it's 1am and i'm drinking a
pepsi light, but it's just charity
and it tastes like latex gloves
(on top of bitter disappointment)
there's a young child trapped
in the grey woman beside me-
how she screams for her mother
how she cries through the night-
and they sleep like babies in
cots, apathetic or maybe dead
some too big for their bones
others too brittle. soon they'll
all shatter, as easily as glass
more white noise to the white
shirts and clipboard faces,
mosquitoes coming and going;
vampires draining and ditching
"they're trying to save your life"
but i never wanted to be saved
i know they see it in my eyes
you should have let me shatter
peel the plasters off of these
cracks in my surface, don't you
see i'm beyond saving? broken
past the point of fixing, and
when the grey child screams i
will sleep like a baby so i guess
i'm apathetic too, or maybe i'm
just dead