On Saturday, January 28th, 2017 my life was changed forever. This was the day that my grandfather had lost his battle with cancer. My Grandpa Robert Foley has always been there for me, although he lived in Delaware for most of my life. Words can cannot describe the pain that I am feeling, because this is so unnatural for me. This is my first big loss. Yes, I lost my Great-Grandpa Carlos and my Aunt Barbra 10 years ago, but all I remember about them was their wake. I remember my grandfather so clearly. His warm hugs, his sense of humor, his smooth voice, all things that are just memories now. I know that he is watching me from above, and I am grateful for that. I know that when ever I feel like someone is not in my corner, he will be. He always has been in my corner, from day one. From helping with funding when I was in need of softball equipment, to sitting through endless videos of what I was up to, it either being band, baton, softball, or acting, with a smile on his face the whole time. I know that you are no longer suffering, which is why, in this dark time, I have a little bit of happiness. Thank you for all the fun times at Franks, for all the birthday wishes, and for being my grandfather. I love you Grandpa Red. Thank you for everything.
On Wednesday, January 25th, 2017 I lost a good friend of mine to suicide. Shannon Altman was probably the kindest person I will ever meet. I met her when I was in either 6th or 7th grade, in baton class. She was a beginner, but I helped her out and took her in immediately. That year of baton was honestly one of the best, because she was there lighting up the room. We kinda lost contact after that year since she wanted to focus more on track, but when ever we saw each other, we wouldn't hesitate to say hello. This school year I became close once again with Shannon. On the rare occasion that I would be at the library, she would always be there and she would always say "Hi!" with a smile on her face. This news still feels unreal. I always told Shannon how pretty she looked and how I wish I had her self confidence. I regret not knowing when she needed it most. I know that you're flying high right now, and that is what gives me hope. Thank you Shannon.
The song that I am singing shows the pain through suffering and loss. This song is from the show Hamilton, and is preformed after Alexander and Eliza lose their first son Philip in a duel to protect Alexander's legacy. I wanted to sing this to show that yes, I am human. I am going through pain. But also to show that I will protect their legacy until the end, no matter what. I will miss both my grandfather and my friend dearly. They say that you die twice. You first die when your soul leaves your body. You die again when your name is said for the last time. I will make sure that the second thing, never happens. I will make sure of it. And I know that this, too, shall pass. Rest in peace.
My Grandfather
My Grandfather
My friend
I won't be writing for the rest of the week. When I do start writing again, I will be writing for a contest that Wattpad invited me to be part of.
Thank you for understanding.
I am going through the unimaginable.