It was a bright and sunny Friday afternoon in mid-spring. Everyone at the Apple Pine Suites Hotel was in a very cheery mood, from the hotel manager—a tall, broad-shouldered man named Roger Butler—right down to its youngest of guests—a Doe-eyed nine-year-old boy named Christopher Kearn and his twin sister Allison (accompanied, of course, by their parents, Mike and Karen). That particular weekend, the hotel was packed, so much so that if anyone wanted to make last-minute reservations there, they couldn't. Every room in the hotel was about to be occupied that very weekend.
Furthermore, everyone there could look forward to a gargantuan feast at the attached Apple Pie Restaurant, located just off the hotel lobby. The food there was delicious, and there was no shortage of choices on the menu any given day, and the staff there was about to be very busy. For some reason, though, the Kearn twins, Christopher and Allison didn't quite feel like eating there. After all, they were kids, so they preferred eating at the nearby Pizza Circus just a couple of minutes away even by walking. Their parents, on the other hand, weren't all that keen on it.
In the room next to theirs, however, was a well-off couple—named John and Amelia Richarding—and their teenage daughter—Amanda. The daughter, however, wasn't quite as keen on eating at the hotel restaurant either. That's not to say that she didn't want any of the food there. But she was claustrophobic, and huge crowds often led to panic attacks. This often left her parents baffled since more often than not, she had been described as somewhat of a social butterfly by her peers—and even some of her teachers at school. She was, however, comfortable in smaller crowds, but she anticipated that the restaurant was going to be full for much of the weekend.
In any case, somehow, the Kearns and the Richardings met at some point shortly after they had checked in. At least the families did. Mike Kearn and John Richarding had met before at a business conference a while ago and got to know each other over lunch that time, and now, after about a year had passed since, they were finally able to introduce their respective families to each other. While the parents wanted to eat at the hotel restaurant, the kids weren't as enthusiastic about that idea. As stated earlier, they much preferred to dine at the nearby Pizza Circus restaurant. Amanda offered to take the Kearn twins, and their parents agreed to that. Needless to say, a good time was had by all at the Pizza Circus, and the same could be said at the hotel restaurant. But one thing was certain: the kids' collective desire to eat elsewhere would prove to be to their benefit as the weekend progressed.
That particular evening, long after everyone had eaten and, in fact, long after most everyone in the hotel had gone to bed, Karen suddenly awoke in the middle of the night with a little bit of a stomach ache. She got up and went to tend to personal matters. Meanwhile, Christopher could barely sleep a wink. He had a strange case of insomnia that night and couldn't stay asleep longer than about ten minutes at a time to save his life. So, with flashlight in hand, he started reading—and re-reading—some of his favourite Dr. Seuss books until he could once again fall asleep—that is, after he had read Green Eggs and Ham and The Cat in the Hat alternately about four times each. Strangely enough, though, it wasn't until after he had finally fallen asleep that Karen had finally finished tending to her personal matters, left the bathroom and gone back to bed—and back to sleep.
Meanwhile, next-door, chronic insomniac Amanda couldn't even sleep at all. Throughout much of the night, she tossed and turned in vain trying to sleep. Her parents fared no better, but for a different reason. They, too, suddenly woke up in the middle of the night with stomach troubles. So, after a brief session of Rock Paper Scissors, Amelia got up first and went to tend to her personal matters. Needless to say, it took her about 20 minutes, and then she was done. Afterwards, John went to take care of his personal matters, which took him about half-an-hour. Thereafter, they went back to sleep. Sadly, however, Amanda herself felt a rumble in her stomach also. So she got up and went to take care of her personal matters as well. Little did anyone realize, however, that that night—their first night at the hotel—would be the last night anyone—whatsoever—would be able to look after their personal matters comfortably.
The next day was just as bright and sunny as the day before. Everyone had all their meals at the hotel restaurant—their breakfast, lunch and dinner. Everyone, that is, except for Amanda, Christopher and Allison, who ate their breakfast at the nearby diner, which served a delicious all-day breakfast, their lunch at a restaurant located inside the nearby department store and their dinner at the Pizza Circus, which meant that they had pizza for dinner two nights in a row.
Well, that particular evening, the fun began. That is, if you use the term 'fun' loosely. John was having trouble sleeping that evening, which was quite unusual for him since he and his wife normally slept through the night. In fact, neither he nor Amelia could sleep because once again, their stomachs felt weird. Again, another session of Rock Paper Scissors determined who went first. This time, John went first. He would be in there for about 20 minutes. Afterwards, he said through the door: “Honey, the toilet's not flushing.” Perplexed, Amelia got up and went to the washroom. Both of them tried in vain to flush the toilet, but for some unfathomable reason, it wouldn't flush. John tried to wash his hands, but discovered, much to both his chagrin and his horror, that the water was off. At that point, Amelia began to get terrified. All of this commotion awakened Amanda, who would soon begin experiencing her nightly bout of insomnia anyhow. From what she overheard, she heard that there was trouble with the toilet not flushing and the water not running.
Meanwhile, next door, the situation was not much better. Mike and Karen woke up in the middle of the night due to their own stomach troubles. Mike let Karen go first, and to put it as tastefully as possible, she had to take care of her 'personal affairs', and she, too, said: “Uh, honey, I'm having trouble flushing the toilet. It's not flushing.” Perplexed Mike got up and went to the bathroom to investigate. Karen also attempted to wash her hands, but she, too, was horrified to discover that the water was not running as it wouldn't turn on. All of this commotion woke Christopher and Allison up. Being younger, however, they didn't immediately grasp the situation at hand.
Amanda, on the other hand, somehow did, being a little older. But what none of them—neither the Kearns nor the Richardings—realized right away, however, was that this was going on throughout the entire hotel that evening. Amanda and the Kearn twins were basically the only ones who weren't suffering anything near the discomfort that their respective parents were going through. Amanda, always the alert and observant person she is, went to call the front desk to address the problem. To make matters worse, however, she was informed that all the plumbers and maintenance staff were absent that weekend and that there was nothing that could be done to fix the problem until the weekend was over. After thanking the front desk attendant, she hung up the phone in disgust. She then walked out of the hotel room to warn her neighbours—or at least attempt to do so. However, when she knocked on the door, Allison answered the door. Puzzled, Amanda asked: “What are you still doing up?”
“Chris and I couldn't sleep,” Allison tearfully replied, “Our parents are making too much noise about the toilet not flushing.” At that moment, Amanda realized that there was a serious problem. Just then, Christopher came to the door and cried: “Mommy and daddy aren't feeling too good.” At that, Amanda calmly told them: “Well, sadly, they can't flush the toilet because it's not working, and the water's not working either, and there's no one here to fix it until Monday after we leave—I think!”
“But we gotta do something!” Amelia cried. At that, Amanda assured them: “We will.” With that, off the three of them went to the front desk.
When they arrived at the front desk, however, there was no one there—nor were there any security guards. As they looked around, not even a janitor was present. The three of them began to get terrified. Christopher asked: “Where is everybody?”
“I don't know, sweetie,” Amanda replied.
They did notice, however, that the door to the Apple Pie Restaurant was opened, which was unusual at that time of the evening. So they slowly entered the restaurant and looked around. To be sure, there were no patrons sitting anywhere, and neither were there any waiters or waitresses to be found. So everything was done for the evening. Everything, that is, except for the preparation of food for the next day. Amanda soon caught a brief glimpse of the kitchen through a mid-sized window. Therefore, holding Allison's hand with one hand and Christopher's hand with the other, Amanda slowly walked up to the window. To avoid being seen, she and the twins ducked and hid under the table directly in front.
After about ten minutes, a bell rang in the kitchen, and all of the kitchen staff exited the kitchen. Once they were out of sight and out of earshot, Amanda and the twins came out from under the table and slowly entered the kitchen, at first looking around. Suddenly, Christopher noticed a huge jug. Pointing to it, he said: “Look over there.” Once Amanda and Allison looked at what he was pointing at, they proceeded toward the jug. Upon closer examination, they discovered that it was full of pure prune juice. They also discovered that right beside it, there was a large bag of bran, and in turn, beside that was a large bottle of powdered laxative. Upon seeing all of that, Amanda was horrified. They then resumed looking around. Allison then spotted a small brown bottle and pointed to it, and then she said: “What's that?” The three of them then walked over to it and discovered, upon closer examination, that it was a bottle of castor oil. Taken aback, Amanda took the twins and ran out of the kitchen, and afterwards, they ran out of the hotel.
Upon exiting the hotel, however, they looked around. Allison asked Amanda: “What are we gonna do now?” Catching her breath, Amanda replied: “Well, we're gonna try to find the nearest police station.”
“How?” Christopher asked, seeing that everything within the vicinity of the hotel was closed. Amanda replied: “I don't know, but don't worry! We'll find a way!”
“I'm scared,” Allison cried.
“Don't worry,” Amanda assured them, “We'll find it. Let's go!” They then ran away from the hotel and into the night.”
Meanwhile, back at the hotel, everyone there was filling the hallways on every floor with the same complaints, namely, that the toilets weren't flushing and the water wasn't running. Even worse, everyone was suffering from discomforts of one form or another and couldn't figure out why. At some point, eventually, Mike and Karen looked around and noticed their kids were missing, and John and Amelia also discovered Amanda was also missing.
Meanwhile, after about a half-an-hour of running in the middle of the night, they came to a gas station and ran to it. Upon reaching the attached convenience store, they ran into it and ran up to the counter. Catching her breath, Amanda pleaded: “We have to use the phone and call the police.” The clerk handed her his cell phone and Amanda called the police. Although still trying to catch her breath, she explained to the police what was going on.
Meanwhile, back at the hotel, the situation steadily worsened. Those that were experiencing stomach problems of one form or another that had yet to tend to them but couldn't because of the problems with the non-functioning toilets and the lack of running water had to find somewhere to tend to their problems, but to their collective horror, there was no place for them to do so.
Eventually, everyone who had to do so had little choice but to unload wherever they could—even if it was in an elevator or a nearby stairwell. But just when everyone thought the situation was only going to worsen, they suddenly heard the sound of many sirens approaching the hotel. Mike ran over to the window of his family's hotel room and noticed that the hotel was surrounded by all kinds of police vehicles and ambulances. He also noticed Amanda and his kids coming out of one of the police vehicles.
Speaking of which, meanwhile, Amanda and the twins led the accompanying police officers to the kitchen, by which time everyone was back in the kitchen and was suddenly taken aback by their presence. The kitchen staff immediately stopped what they were doing and began to scatter about like cockroaches. At that, the police officers began pursuing them all, and eventually, they managed to catch them all and place them all in handcuffs. Once all the kitchen staff was arrested, however, Christopher noticed one of the cookbooks on the counter. He ran over to it, picked it up and gave it to Amanda, who then began to examine its contents. As she did so, she became increasingly horrified at what she was discovering. She soon handed it to one of the officers.
Meanwhile, in the penthouse suite on the top floor of the hotel, Roger—the hotel manager—was literally undisturbed by all the commotion below him and was sound asleep. Suddenly, though, he was awakened by loud banging on his door. Once awakened but still half-awake, he stumbled out of bed and made his way to his door. Upon opening the door, to his horror, there stood policemen ready to arrest him. Why?
Well, as it turned out, the hotel manager had conspired to put the following items in all the food cooked at the hotel restaurant: prune juice, laxatives in various forms, bran and castor oil. He also sought to melt at least a skid's worth of chocolate laxative pieces and put them into all the desserts that would be served there. Worse yet, any foods that were fried there were to be fried in castor oil. When asked why he did all of this, he tearfully admitted: “Because of all the guests were full of themselves, and I had to find some way of getting them to get the led out of their butts, so to speak.”
In other words, he thought they were all...well, let's not go there. But suffice it to say that later on, he was ordered to refund the money to all of his guests that stayed there that weekend, and the hotel itself was eventually declared a condemned property because of what had happened that weekend.
As for Amanda and the twins, they were named heroes for saving the lives—and collective health—of all the other guests there. Lastly, it was also discovered that the water was shut off on purpose and that all the plumbers and maintenance workers were abducted and held captive in a faraway log cabin. They've been rescued.
After that weekend, everyone there was able to go home and tend to their respective personal affairs in the comforts of their own homes and recover from such a traumatizing weekend, and once everyone was feeling better and back to normal, they lived happily ever after.